by James Vietch
From: James Veitch
* * *
To: © Royal Bank of Scotland ®
* * *
Subject: Re: Hi Date: 23 December 12:07
* * *
Ok. I shan’t bring it up again. But just to be clear: are you saying that if I bring it up again I won’t get any and that if I don’t bring it up again I will? Or are you just saying that I won’t get any at all?
From: © Royal Bank of Scotland ®
* * *
To: James Veitch
* * *
Subject: Re: Hi Date: 23 December 15:19
* * *
Please stop talking of a free toaster.
From: James Veitch
* * *
To: © Royal Bank of Scotland ®
* * *
Subject: Re: Hi Date: 24 December 12:34
* * *
I am so sorry about all this malarkey with the toaster. I shan’t mention the toaster again. You have my word.
From: © Royal Bank of Scotland ®
* * *
To: James Veitch
* * *
Subject: Re: Hi Date: 24 December 18:00
* * *
What we want from you is to do the right things, and print out the form, fill it and sign and after filling send us a scanned copy of the form, and your ID.
From: James Veitch
* * *
To: © Royal Bank of Scotland ®
* * *
Subject: Re: Hi Date: 25 December 13:22
* * *
I’ve done some research and I think the one we should go for is the DeLonghi 4-slicer in black.
Winnie
From: Winnie Mandela
* * *
To: James Veitch
* * *
Subject: (no subject) Date: 1 March 21:31
* * *
I AM WINNIE MANDELA. I AM THE SECOND WIFE OF NELSON MANDELA THE FORMER SOUTH AFRICAN PRESIDENT. HOW ARE YOU TODAY?
I AM IN POSSESSION OF US$45 MILLION DOLLARS. I NEED TO TRANSFER IT OUT OF THE COUNTRY BECAUSE OF MY HUSBAND MR NELSON MANDELA’S HEALTH CONDITION.
IF ALSO HAVE A GOOD BUSINESS IDEAS ON ANY LUCRATIVE INVESTMENTS, I WILL MAKE YOU INVESTMENTS MANAGER.
ONE LOVE
YOURS TRUELY, MRS WINNIE MADIKIZELA MANDELA
From: James Veitch
* * *
To: Winnie Mandela
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 3 March 22:20
* * *
So sorry to hear of this. Given that Nelson died three months ago I’d describe his health condition as fairly serious.
Nevertheless, I have some great ideas for investments :)
Tell me a story about Nelson? What did he like for breakfast?
James
From: Winnie Mandela
* * *
To: James Veitch
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 3 March 22:38
* * *
Nelson is now a history.
We will speak on investing my money afterwards. Kindly comply with my banker for the transfer to be done smoothly.
From: James Veitch
* * *
To: Winnie Mandela
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 3 March 22:40
* * *
Not Cheerios then? Can you just tell me if it’s Cheerios? I’d like to eat the same thing as him.
From: Winnie Mandela
* * *
To: James Veitch
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 3 March 22:42
* * *
The bank needs transfer fee of us$3800 dollars for the transfer to be made to your account.
From: James Veitch
* * *
To: Winnie Mandela
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 3 March 22:43
* * *
I’m going to assume it’s Cheerios.
From: Winnie Mandela
* * *
To: James Veitch
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 3 March 22:55
* * *
dont ask me stupid questions.
if you are here for jokes stop further communicating with me here because i dont have time for this foolishness.
From: James Veitch
* * *
To: Winnie Mandela
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 4 March 11:16
* * *
I don’t like the way you’re talking to me one bit. Is this how you used to talk to Nelson?
From: Winnie Mandela
* * *
To: James Veitch
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 4 March 18:11
* * *
Remember i will offer you 25% of the fund
ONE LOVE
From: James Veitch
* * *
To: Winnie Mandela
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 4 March 18:16
* * *
Awesome.
NO WOMAN NO CRY
From: Winnie Mandela
* * *
To: James Veitch
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 4 March 18:18
* * *
This is 11.3 Million Dollars
ONE LOVE
From: James Veitch
* * *
To: Winnie Mandela
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 4 March 18:19
* * *
Amazing!
I SHOT THE SHERIFF
(But I did not shoot the deputy)
From: Winnie Mandela
* * *
To: James Veitch
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 4 March 18:20
* * *
And I will make you my investment manager if you have a good idea for investments
From: James Veitch
* * *
To: Winnie Mandela
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 4 March 19:00
* * *
I would LOVE to be your investments manager. I haven’t done much of it before but I’ve got some rock-solid ideas I think you’d love to hear. Many of them involve the chickpea.
From: Winnie Mandela
* * *
To: James Veitch
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 4 March 19:04
* * *
I am praying that the transaction will be smoothly accomplished. Please assure me you will not betray me in this transaction.
From: James Veitch
* * *
To: Winnie Mandela
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 4 March 19:10
* * *
Winnie (may I call you that?), I agree. The transaction should be done smoothly. On that note, I’ve actually been making smoothies in the mornings – crushing up cashew nuts and almonds and adding oats and banana etc. – the sort of thing Nelson always liked for breakfast. They’re so delicious and healthy. Essentially, what I’m saying, Winnie, is that you and I could do worse than to consider getting into the smoothie business.
We could call it Winnie & James’s Smoothies.
Also, hummus; it’s going places.
From: Winnie Mandela
* * *
To: James Veitch
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 4 March 19:25
* * *
But i told you to send me your identifications which you promised to send today. why haven’t you done so?
From: James Veitch
* * *
To: Winnie Mandela
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 4 March 19:53
* * *
Winnie, there’re loads of things to take care of before I do that. I want to know more about you. I can’t very well take so much m
oney off you and become your investment manager without becoming friends first.
From: Winnie Mandela
* * *
To: James Veitch
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 4 March 20:09
* * *
do you jump in the air to know more about me when i am known all over the world. have you not heard of me being the second wife of my late husband nelson Mandela ?
i told you to send me your photo to help me recognize you during my visiting you. what is knowing some one better than meeting with the person one on one ?
From: James Veitch
* * *
To: Winnie Mandela
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 4 March 20:10
* * *
When do you want to meet? I can’t do this weekend, unfortunately. I’m seeing a show then going dancing. Unless you wanted to come. What are your thoughts?
From: Winnie Mandela
* * *
To: James Veitch
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 4 March 20:35
* * *
what do you mean by seeing a show then going dancing ?
From: James Veitch
* * *
To: Winnie Mandela
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 4 March 21:09
* * *
Would you prefer something more low-key like roller-disco? I’ve literally always wanted to do that.
From: Winnie Mandela
* * *
To: James Veitch
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 4 March 21:41
* * *
EXPLAIN MORE BETTER TO ME ON WHAT YOU ACTUALLY IMPLYING HERE: low-key like roller-disco?
From: James Veitch
* * *
To: Winnie Mandela
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 5 March 20:46
* * *
I don’t know, Winnie. I’m playing jazz! Also, marketing idea below. Thoughts? Just say what you think.
From: Winnie Mandela
* * *
To: James Veitch
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 5 March 21:48
* * *
i can only visit you when the transfer is completed.
From: James Veitch
* * *
To: Winnie Mandela
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 5 March 22:24
* * *
I’ll make the transfer this evening on my way home. But Winnie, do you ever feel like we should do something more with our lives? Not just this ramshackleness and chasing girls.
In the middle of the night do you ever turn the pillow over, feel its coolness on your cheek and think, ‘it’s the little things’?
From: Winnie Mandela
* * *
To: James Veitch
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 5 March 22:44
* * *
i am the formal first lady to my late husband nelson Mandela. how could you be asking me such a foolish queries.
From: James Veitch
* * *
To: Winnie Mandela
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 5 March 22:45
* * *
W, I don’t think this is working out. I can’t find any houses in our price range. London is so expensive. Moreover, I went to the bank to see about getting a mortgage and I had a number in my head and the mortgage guy had another number in his head and, as it turns out, those were different numbers. His was actually a minus number.
In these situations I often ask myself, ‘what would Nelson do?’ and the answer is, almost always, move slightly further outside London for cheaper prices.
You knew him best. Would he consider Aylesbury?
Keith
From: Catherine Hetherington
* * *
To: James Veitch
* * *
Subject: (no subject) Date: 17 December 17:22
* * *
Dear James.
I could not inform anyone about our trip, because it was impromptu. we had to be in Manila, Philippines for a program. Our journey has turned sour. we misplaced our wallet, passport and cell phone.
I will be indeed very grateful if i can get a loan of 1,800 Euro from you. I promise to refund it in full as soon as I return
Catherine
From: James Veitch
* * *
To: Catherine Hetherington
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 17 December 18:12
* * *
Catherine,
Of course I can help you out. What happened? Is everything ok? How’s Keith doing?
From: Catherine Hetherington
* * *
To: James Veitch
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 17 December 18:24
* * *
James!
Am so glad you replied back….. Let me know if you are heading to the Western Union outlet now...
From: James Veitch
* * *
To: Catherine Hetherington
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 17 December 18:34
* * *
Of course. Don’t worry. How’s Keith though?
From: Catherine Hetherington
* * *
To: James Veitch
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 17 December 18:49
* * *
James, Keith is Fine please let me know. He’s having a meeting with the british embassy now to get replacement passports. Please go to the western union. I owe you A lot…
Catherine
From: James Veitch
* * *
To: Catherine Hetherington
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 17 December 19:01
* * *
Cat, I’ll pop along first thing tomorrow.
I must say though, Keith seems remarkably capable for a Yorkshire terrier. Last I remember he could roll over and woof for a treat; now you say he’s taking meetings at the British embassy? What are you feeding him???
China Jewellery Corporation
From: China Jewellery Corporation
