Patience was as incensed as he expected her to be by the “grand scale” of his demands. “Well, that isn’t even an option, Josh. The way things stand, you can’t have it all! And neither can I.”
“Fine. Then you’re on your own,” Josh retorted, knowing that was what Max would have wanted, too. Not waiting for her reply, he levered himself off the edge of the desk and headed for the door.
Patience hopped down and trotted after him. She wrapped her fingers around his forearm and tugged. “Josh, wait.”
Josh looked down at her and tried not to think about what the feel of those delicate fingers against his bare skin was doing to him. Or how guilty he felt, realizing that he already knew the truth about what had really happened to Alec Vaughn and Patience didn’t.
“Let’s not be hasty,” Patience continued.
Josh pried her fingers from his arm. “You’re saying you’ll change your mind?” Damn, but he wished things were simpler.
“No, I am saying,” Patience clarified, clearly enunciating every word, “that I need forty-eight hours to think about it.”
“And then what?” Josh demanded, resisting the urge to drag her into his arms and kiss some sense into her. Someone had to!
“Then,” Patience said, “we’ll see.”
SILENCE FELL BETWEEN THEM.
Patience saw she’d bought herself time, but not much. Josh Colter was a man who would only tolerate being put on hold for a little while. But a little while was all it would take to grant Uncle Max’s last wish…and maybe by the time they had done that, Josh would realize the idea of their marrying, really marrying, was just too crazy to be borne, even if it was what Max had clearly wished.
“This has been a little sudden,” Josh said finally.
“And then some.” Able to see he was coming around, Patience sighed her relief.
“Maybe we should think about it,” Josh suggested, his steady gaze still roving her upturned face.
Patience smiled in complete agreement. After all, thinking was not the same as doing. “Absolutely,” she said cheerfully.
“While at the same time not permanently closing any doors,” Josh continued.
“Right on.”
Another silence. “In the meantime, do you feel up to taking a couple of horses out on the range?” Josh asked.
Patience didn’t even have to think about that. A horseback ride at sunset on the Silver Spur sounded like exactly what she needed. “Sure.” Patience nodded, glad Josh had suggested it. She looked down at her long denim dress. “I’ve got to change into jeans, though—”
“I want to check on Mandy one last time, see how she did with her feed. Unless you want to use one of our three thirty-minute time-outs now?” Josh said.
Reminded of the strict conditions surrounding her inheritance from Uncle Max, Patience shook her head. “No, we might need it more later.”
“True.”
They found Mandy had eaten all her bran mash. The gleaming mahogany quarter horse was standing quietly in the large birthing stall, her rump pressed up against the rear wall.
As Josh studied the mare, he talked to her softly, but she did not come forward to see him, as expected. “How far along is she?” Patience asked quietly.
Still murmuring soft words of encouragement to the mare, Josh opened the door latch on the twenty-by-twenty-foot stall and stepped inside. “She’s in her three-hundred and twenty-ninth day of gestation.”
“So she could foal anywhere from the next couple days through the next three weeks and still be in the normal range,” Patience said. Which explained, she thought, why Josh was so attentive.
“Right.” Josh stepped around to check Mandy out, then returned to Patience’s side. Satisfied all was well for the moment, he scrubbed his arms to the elbow in a nearby sink. “You ever assisted in a foaling?”
“No. I’ve watched mares give birth but not for many years.” Patience looked back at Mandy. Though quiet, she seemed pretty miserable. Her dark eyes were dull and listless, her overall posture one of fatigue. “Is she an experienced brood mare?”
Josh stroked his hand down the white blaze on Mandy’s face. “No. This is her first time. So neither of us knows how it’s going to go, but so far—except for being off her feed for the last week or so—she’s been shaping up well. So we’re keeping a close eye on her.” He gave Mandy a final pat and reached for the phone on the wall outside the stall. He spoke to Soaring Eagle, giving him an update on Mandy’s condition as well as a rundown on his own plans, then hung up the phone. His expression was matter-of-fact. “Soaring Eagle has the hands saddling up a couple of horses for us, so as soon as you’re ready, we’ll go.”
“I THOUGHT memory and sentiment had exaggerated the beauty of the Silver Spur Ranch in early June. I was wrong. It’s even more breathtaking than I recall,” Patience told Josh as they reined in their horses atop the ridge overlooking what those on the ranch liked to refer to as Lost Canyon. Surrounded by granite-topped mountains on all four sides, the valley was lush and green, peppered with trees, a ribbonlike river running through the middle.
Josh nodded at the far corner of the canyon. “Keep watching.”
A moment later, a band of wild mustangs shot across the far edge of the canyon. Ranging from dark brown to gray to solid white, they were without exception all fast and sleek. Watching them, Patience found herself smiling in delight. “How long have those been here?”
“A couple of years. At first there were only a few, but as you can see, their numbers are increasing.”
“I count…ten?”
Josh continued to watch the mustangs race across the canyon. “And there are more.”
“On McKendrick land?” Patience was surprised but pleased to discover this.
“Yes. They just showed up here recently.”
She sat back in her saddle and lifted a cautioning brow. “You know they’re a protected species?”
Josh nodded. “I’ve already gotten permission from the local authorities of the Bureau of Land Management to adopt any I can catch, tame and certify as healthy. But right now, as long as their numbers are manageable, as long as they’re not bothering any ranch operations, I’d prefer to see them continue to run free, rather than imprison them unnecessarily.”
“I know what you mean,” Patience said, heartened to discover that she and Josh passionately agreed on something. “They are beautiful. I can’t imagine a better life for them than being able to run free in such a spectacular place.”
Josh nodded back at the canyon. “This is where Max said you wanted your dream home?”
“Once. A very long time ago.” When I was engaged to Alec. Determinedly, Patience shook off her melancholy over the dreams she’d failed to achieve and concentrated instead on what was still within her grasp—like having a baby. Taking a deep breath, she continued informatively, “It’s the perfect site for a home.” The perfect site to raise a family.
Looking over at Josh, she couldn’t help but note that he seemed to think so, too. In fact, he could hardly take his eyes off the place.
“If this was what you wanted, why didn’t you build it anyway, on your own?” Josh asked as they rode slowly back, side by side.
Patience shrugged, unwilling to admit that she hadn’t wanted just a home and a baby but a home with Alec and Alec’s baby, and up until today, a very small but extremely determined part of her had been unconsciously holding out for just that. But now, with Alec gone, she knew her Uncle Max was right. She had to move on, even if she had to push herself a little to do so.
“I wasn’t living here,” Patience answered Josh adroitly.
“Why not? Ten to one, you could write that column of yours anywhere.”
Patience’s lips tightened into a mutinous line. Not since Alec had anyone asked her so many difficult questions, so fast. Patience trained her eyes on the horizon and wished her Uncle Max had not linked her to such a complicated man, even for a little while. “I stayed away for lots of reason
s,” she said finally.
“Chief among them your falling out with your uncle?”
“You heard about that,” Patience ascertained, wishing he hadn’t. It embarrassed her, in retrospect, because as she had matured she had realized there had been far better ways to handle that situation. And worse, precious time lost with Max, time that she knew now could never be regained.
Josh nodded, relaying casually, “The story around here is that the two of you went almost a year without exchanging even a single word.”
Patience shrugged as her mount picked her way through a meadow peppered with wildflowers. “I was furious with him for interfering in my engagement to Alec.” And she’d had reason to be. Uncle Max had behaved terribly, refusing even to meet Alec, once he’d learned of their wildly passionate love affair and hasty engagement.
“But you forgave Max eventually.”
Patience made a seesawing motion with her hand. There were some things that were simply best forgotten, especially since this was something that was just never going to be remedied. “It was more like I agreed to overlook it. It’s not quite the same thing.”
Josh gave her an intent, sidelong look. “You’re still carrying a torch for this guy, Vaughn?”
Patience wished she could say the reverse was true, but it wasn’t. She knew there was always going to be a part of her heart that belonged to Alec.
Unwilling, however, to hear a lecture on the subject from even one more well-meaning person, she urged her mount forward, ahead of his, and snapped, “Whether I am or not, it’s none of your business.” Besides, it didn’t matter. Alec was dead.
Josh spurred his horse on and caught up with her until they were even once again. “As the man you are trying to talk into marrying you in less than forty-eight hours—” he shouted to be heard, looking over at her face “—it is very much my business.”
Patience shrugged and leaned forward defiantly in her saddle, urging her horse to go even faster. She supposed he had a point. It didn’t mean, however, that she was going to change her mind. Ignoring him, she trained her eyes straight ahead, on the sun sinking slowly toward the horizon, and shouted right back, “Whatever, your curiosity is not going to be satisfied, so you may as well give up.”
LIKE HELL HE WOULD GIVE UP, Josh thought as they stopped a moment later to give their horses a much needed drink at a nearby stream.
“About the baby and the ranch,” he began.
That caught her attention, just as he had hoped it would.
“Yes?” Patience demanded.
“I’m curious. If you wanted a child so much, and you’re so all-fired determined to remain a very independent woman, why didn’t you just have a child via one of the sperm banks in Denver and bring your baby back here to the ranch to raise?”
Color flooded her cheeks. “Because,” Patience said stiffly as the last of the day’s sunlight filtered down through the trees, catching the golden highlights in her soft, tousled hair.
“Because why?” Josh uncapped the canteen he’d brought with him and handed it to her.
Patience drank deeply of the cold water inside, then delicately blotted the dewy moisture on her lips with the back of her hand. “Because Max and I were not in agreement on the subject, that’s why.” Having had her fill, she handed the canteen to him.
“He thought having a baby via artificial insemination was unnatural?” Josh lifted the canteen to his lips and drank deeply, too.
“And unwise.”
The taste of her, mingling with the taste of the water, lingered on his lips as Josh recapped the canteen. “But you liked the idea,” he said.
“No. Not really.” Patience sighed, a troubled light darkening her eyes to a stormy ocean blue. “I just didn’t see I had any choice.”
She was wrong about that, Josh thought. People always had more choices than they knew, if only they stopped to thoroughly consider all their options. For instance, if he had handled things better, “Alec Vaughn” might still be here.
He couldn’t do anything about that now, of course. What was done was done. But he could act to assuage his own guilt in Alec’s untimely disappearance and, with the help of Max McKendrick’s eccentric will, ensure that Patience, too, put the past behind her and one day achieved the full family life she deserved.
“I told Uncle Max he was being hopelessly old-fashioned, thinking that I needed to be married to someone, in the forever-and-ever way, before I brought a child into this world,” Patience continued. As their horses drank from the stream, she leaned against the trunk of a nearby tree.
Josh braced a hand on the trunk beside her. “And still no go?”
Patience’s pretty chin jutted out stubbornly as she looked up at him. She folded her arms in front of her, tucking them just beneath her breasts. “I could have persuaded him, if I’d had more time,” she declared.
Josh just bet she could have. One pleading look from her eyes had him feeling pretty helpless.
“On what basis?” Josh asked, warning himself that the last thing either of them needed was for him to be too susceptible to Patience McKendrick’s considerable charms. Just because the blue-eyed blond spitfire was sexy as hell, just because she had curves in all the right places and long, luscious legs that wouldn’t quit did not mean he had to fall prey to her spell.
“What’s important is that I could give a child love and attention and all the tender loving care he could stand.”
“But said child would still need a daddy,” Josh pointed out, knowing there was a part of him that wanted nothing more than to volunteer for the job of taking Patience McKendrick to bed and siring their children.
“I know, and I had that covered, too,” Patience continued.
He quirked a brow to let her know he was interested in whatever she was thinking.
“I’ve got two brothers who are both living here on the Silver Spur. And up until a couple of days ago, I had Uncle Max, too. If I’d had a baby here, all three could have stepped in and played daddy to my child, just as Uncle Max played mama and daddy to my brothers and I, after my parents died in that earthquake.”
“So do it. Have your baby now,” Josh advised.
Again, Patience sighed. “I can’t.”
Josh could feel her putting up roadblocks again. He wanted only to tear them down. “Why not?”
Patience dug the toe of her handcrafted western boot into the thick buffalo grass. “Because it wouldn’t be right, going against Uncle Max’s wishes. Especially not on the dream ranch he worked so hard to build. If he were here now, or if I’d had a chance to change his mind before he moved on to the next life, it would be different. But since that’s not the case, I feel I have no choice but to go back to Denver to have my baby.”
Josh’s irritation with her rose. She was so damn lucky to have all the loving family she still did, and she didn’t even know it. Resisting the urge to grab her and shake some sense into her, he dropped his hand from the tree trunk and stepped back, away from her. “Don’t do that. Don’t live your life by the wishes of those who are no longer with us,” he said.
“Why not?” Noting a burr clinging to the knee of her trim, dark blue jeans, Patience bent down to pick it off, toss it aside.
“Because it’s wrong. You’ve got to let go, Patience, of Max and Alec Vaughn. You’ve got to do what is right for you.” That was what Max had wanted for her, for her to move on and stop living just half a life. Josh knew the only way he could get Patience to do this, as difficult and potentially treacherous as it was going to be for him, was to make her forget Alec Vaughn had ever even existed.
Patience’s blue eyes took on a recalcitrant gleam as she noticed a burr on the sleeve of his shirt and picked it off, too. “I thought I’d made it clear I don’t want your advice on this or anything else, Josh.”
“I know you don’t, but you’re going to get it anyway. Which is probably why your uncle picked me as the potential father to your heirs,” Josh finished. “Because I call them the w
ay I see them.”
Patience took advantage of the opening given. “Other than to express your initial surprise, which mirrored mine, you haven’t said how you feel about that,” she remarked curiously, all too aware she was pushing the envelope a little.
“About what?”
“Being the father of my children.” Patience tilted her chin at him and tested the waters bravely. “Combining our genes.”
The hint of a smile tugged at the corners of his lips as he looked her up and down. “It isn’t something I’d planned on,” he drawled finally.
“But?” Patience couldn’t resist prodding.
Once again, his sexy glance drifted to her feminine curves before returning to her face. “I admit the idea of it—and I’m talking in a strictly speculative sense now—has a certain appeal.”
One look at the rapacious glint in Josh’s long-lashed, silver-gray eyes told Patience he was talking about sex. Not babies and diapers and getting up to rock and feed the little darlings in the middle of the night. The two were absolutely not one and the same to her. In fact, she had fervently wished on more than one occasion that she could forgo the actual making of the baby altogether and go straight to having the baby and holding him or her in her arms.
As she became aware that Josh was waiting for her reaction to his teasing, she felt her cheeks grow warm. She propped her hands on her hips and scolded him. “We’re not talking about the process of making babies, Josh.”
Aren’t we? his look plainly said. He shifted a strand of hair away from her face, his expression glimmering with suppressed amusement. “It’s hard to get pregnant without making love.”
The Ranch Stud Page 4
