“What are you doing here?” he demanded gruffly.
Holly, well used to his moods, remained unperturbed. She leaned against the barn door. Her smile was sunny and polite. “You know why I’m here, Josh. I came to finish the conversation we started in town.”
Wary of being seen with the attractive brunette again, Josh grabbed her arm and ducked into the barn with her. “I asked you not to come back to the ranch!”
“I know,” Holly said smoothly, “but I’m concerned about you, Josh.”
As well you should be, Josh thought darkly. He gave his former housemate a warning look. “I did not ask for your constant attention.”
Holly shrugged and gave him a stubborn smile. “Nevertheless, after all we went through together, I feel duty-bound to give it.”
Josh watched as Soaring Eagle loaded a visiting mare into the horse trailer that would take her back to her home ranch. Having assumed that Holly was talking to him about the care of Sapphire, the mare she worried over constantly, Soaring Eagle was paying them little attention. “I told you I want to forget that part of my life,” Josh stated firmly.
Holly pretended to be inspecting the quality of the hay stored in the barn. “The five years we spent together will never be over, Josh,” she said, over her shoulder. “Not entirely. And maybe they shouldn’t be, when you consider those years helped make you the man you are today.”
Josh caught up with her and pretended to point at something, playing along with the ruse. “I would gladly have done without them.”
Holly paused beneath the stairs that led to the upper floor of the loft and looked him up and down in a thoroughly professional way. Her expression was deceptively calm. “Patience McKendrick is getting to you, isn’t she?” she guessed grimly.
Hell yes, Patience was getting to him, Josh thought emotionally, and she had been since the first moment he had laid eyes on her again. There wasn’t a second that went by that he didn’t think about Patience, or wish he could come to her free and clear. But that was impossible. He knew that. He’d reconciled himself to it. So why was he having doubts now? he chided himself sternly.
“You’ve even started to confide in her,” Holly continued.
Josh shrugged, the anger and resentment he’d felt for years spilling over into the present. Legs braced apart, he stood with his arms folded in front of him. “I admit I’d like to tell Patience everything about who I am and why I’m here and why she is dead right not to trust me completely.”
For a moment, Holly went very still. For the first time Josh could recall, her face was pale in the risk of danger. “Why haven’t you?” she demanded quietly.
Josh sighed, making no effort to hide his regret over how deeply Patience had already been hurt. “Because if I do, I risk Patience’s eternal hatred.”
“Anything else?”
“I’m afraid if I get too much closer to her that she’ll realize why it is I sometimes seem so familiar. I’m afraid she’ll realize we have met before, if all too briefly.”
Holly’s expression became tough as nails, just as Josh expected it would. “You know your whole future is staked to remaining incognito here,” she warned.
Josh grimaced. Reaching into his jeans pocket, he pulled out a pocketknife. Flicking open the blade, he cut the twine on a bale of hay and handed Holly a handful of the fresh, fragrant hay. “You don’t have to tell me what danger I could be in if my true identity were revealed.”
Holly pretended to examine the hay carefully, even going so far as to lift it to her face. “I knew you never should have risked going to the McKendricks for a job. It was too dangerous.” She handed the hay back to him.
Josh closed his knife and slipped it back into the pocket of his jeans. “What choice did I have?” he countered, no longer afraid to admit what was, and always had been, in his heart. “You better than anyone know how much I still want it all. Patience is my best, my only hope for ever achieving that.”
“You still need to be careful,” Holly insisted. She regarded him silently. “If I thought there was even a prayer I could change your mind about this—”
“You can’t,” Josh interrupted stalwartly. Despite his anger with Patience for her lack of trust in him, he was not giving up on them yet.
Holly had known him well enough and long enough to realize when a battle was lost. She smiled at Josh and shrugged in defeat. “Then there’s nothing for me to do except tell you I’ll be close enough to help out if you need me,” she said reluctantly.
Josh nodded. He was hoping that wouldn’t be the case. He had his hands full just dealing with his brideto-be, never mind bringing in Holly—whom Patience was already jealous and suspicious of, too.
“Thanks,” Josh said tersely.
Holly nodded, repeated her request he call her if he needed her, then left as swiftly and silently as she had come.
As Josh watched her go, he heard a sound in the loft above him. His relief to be rid of Holly was short-lived as he headed for the ladder and was stunned to see Patience on her hands and knees.
He swore softly as their eyes met and held. There was no need for her to say anything. She had clearly heard every word he had said to Holly and was now thinking the worst.
Chapter Eight
Dear Patience,
Should I sleep with a man who is something of a mystery to me? I love him and he says he is equally enamored of me, but I am unsure.
Sincerely,
Tempted in Tulsa
Dear Tempted in Tulsa,
Always hold out for all the answers, especially when in doubt. Only a fool would do otherwise.
You Won’t Be Sorry You Waited,
Patience
Feeling he was on the verge of losing everything, Josh continued up the stairs to the loft. “I see you found Tweedles and her kittens,” he said casually, not sure exactly how much she had overheard.
“All of them,” Patience admitted, casting a glance at the blissful mother and the six tiny Persian kittens, who were nursing contentedly.
“We should probably take them back to the house,” Josh said. Where they could situate the cat and her kittens comfortably and then discuss his conversation with Holly Diehl in private, if need be.
“I agree that would be wise,” Patience concurred with a brisk smile, which to his increasing discouragement gave nothing away. She sat back on her heels and regarded him pleasantly. “If you’ll just go get a box or something to transport Tweedles and her brood in, we can get to it immediately.”
“No problem,” Josh said with a great deal more confidence than he felt. He met her gaze with a level one of his own. “Why don’t you come with me?”
Patience shook her head and stayed protectively close to her pet. All things considered, her mood was mysteriously calm, Josh thought. “I think I’ll stay here and keep an eye on Tweedles,” she said. “I think she might take off and hide them again if she figures out what we have planned. New mothers tend to want their privacy.”
As did grooms-to-be who were on the run, Josh thought.
“I’ll be right back.” Knowing there was no time to waste in straightening out this misunderstanding and very much aware they couldn’t do it there, where just anyone could come by and overhear, he hurried out of the barn and over to his office. Five minutes later he was back in the hay barn with everything they needed. To his dismay, Tweedles was no longer there. Nor was Patience or the new kittens.
Josh frowned, realizing Patience was getting every bit as good at pulling the wool over his eyes as he was at misdirecting her concerns. Only he had a better reason. A hell of a better reason, he thought as his insides twisted together like a pretzel knot.
His lips pressed together grimly, he headed across the yard to the studio. He was not surprised to find that the door was locked. He dug out his key, then found the door had also been secured with a safety chain. It didn’t take a genius to know the other doors were probably similarly secured.
Knowing time was of t
he essence if he didn’t want to lose Patience altogether, he glanced around behind him. Seeing no one in sight, he put his shoulder to the door and rammed his way in, breaking the chain in the process.
Goldie greeted him with a cheerful bark while Josh swept into the house. As he suspected, Patience was in the utility room off the kitchen, seeing to the comfort of Tweedles and her tiny kittens, who were now curled up in a blanket in a corner. Dishes of milk and cat food had been set out. The litter box for Tweedles was situated nearby.
Seeing Josh, Patience stood, stepped out of the utility room and quietly closed the door behind her. “I would’ve helped you move them,” Josh told her.
“Thanks, but I can manage quite fine on my own.” Patience walked briskly past. Ignoring Goldie, who was watching them with a mournful face, Patience marched militantly for the back door. She looked like a woman on a mission.
“Now where are you going?” Josh followed reluctantly, unsure which tack to take. He just knew he couldn’t let things end here and now. Not this way. Not when he and Patience both were so close to having everything they had ever wanted.
Patience unlatched the chain on the back door, undid the lock with a snap and stepped outside. Her face pale, she announced through her teeth, “I’m going to find Holly Diehl and throw her off Silver Spur property.”
22:36
SENSING IT WOULD do no good at this point to remind Patience that Holly had a contract with the Silver Spur Ranch horse-breeding operation that guaranteed her unlimited access to her pregnant mare, Josh took the only path he could as he joined her outside. “Mind if I come along?” To smooth things over and keep the situation from exploding.
Patience tossed her mane of wheat gold hair and sent him a withering look. “Suit yourself.”
“Thanks,” he said. “I will.”
“Which guest room is she in?” she asked him between tightly gritted teeth as they crossed the yard, side by side.
“Number five.”
Patience stopped dead in her tracks and stared at him with a hauteur that would have turned a lesser man to ice. He knew then she would stop at nothing to make him pay for what she thought he had done to her. “Which just happens to be adjacent to the ranch manager’s cabin, where Max was letting you stay.”
His temper erupted, hot and quick. “Convenient, wasn’t it?” he drawled sarcastically, letting her know with a look that absolutely nothing had happened.
But she wasn’t buying it. “Don’t push me, Josh.”
“Don’t push me,” he warned right back, and enjoyed the trepidation in her eyes just a little bit.
Patience reached Holly’s cabin and rapped sharply on her door. No answer. “Looking for Ms. Diehl?” Slim asked, passing by.
Patience turned, an artificially bright smile plastered on her face. “Yes. Have you seen her?”
“Went into town again a while ago. Said she’d be back for supper.” Slim paused and looked at Patience helpfully. “Anything I can do for you?”
“No.” Patience gave him an even more dazzling smile, her eyes glowing with sincere appreciation. “Thanks, Slim.”
Slim moved off.
Josh breathed a lengthy sigh of relief. “Thanks for not dragging him into this.”
Patience’s eyes were hard and accusing as she turned back to Josh. “I wasn’t protecting you. I was protecting him.”
“I know.” Josh paused, aware that the area around the stables was rife with activity this time of day. What they needed was privacy. He wasn’t sure he could manage a save at this point, considering all that had just happened, but he knew he needed to try. “Let’s go over to my cabin,” he coaxed persuasively. “Talk this out. If you don’t like what I have to say, then you can kick me off the property. But at least hear me out, Patience. If nothing else, it’ll give you a chance to satisfy your curiosity,” he finished gently, making what he hoped was an offer she couldn’t refuse.
He could see the journalist in her needed answers as much as the woman. “Five minutes,” Patience decreed finally.
Josh nodded. “Fair enough.”
They crossed the yard to his quarters in stony silence. Arms folded defiantly in front of her, Patience waited for him to open the door. Dropping her fists to her sides, she followed him inside.
IT WAS THE FIRST TIME Patience had been inside the sparsely furnished manager’s cabin since Josh had been there. Knowing he had been living there for several months, she was stunned to see how little he had done to make it a home. Oh, there was a stack of veterinary medicine journals beside the single reading chair, a laptop computer on the desk, a small, thirteen-inch color television. And it was almost obsessively neat. There were no dishes in the stainless steel sink. Nothing on the small electric stove or the pineboard counters. The double bed in the small adjacent bedroom was neatly made with a navy-blue-and-pine-green plaid quilt. There was no sign of a woman anywhere, no sign Holly had even been inside. It was strictly, Patience thought, a man’s domain. A loner’s domain.
Josh strode to the refrigerator. He pulled out a jug of apple cider and poured them each a glass. Their fingers brushed as he handed it to her. “You saw me with Holly, didn’t you?”
Determined to keep her head, Patience sipped at the cool, sweet liquid. Forcing herself to relax a bit, she held Josh’s eyes as the cider moistened her parched throat. “You know I did.”
Josh downed his own cider in a single gulp, then poured himself another tall glass. “How much did you overhear?” he demanded.
Patience tossed her head, sending her hair flying in a silken whirl around her face. “Enough to know my Uncle Max had you pegged all wrong!”
Abruptly, his eyes turned bleak. “It wasn’t what it seemed,” he said flatly.
Patience widened her eyes at him in a deliberately taunting manner. “Oh, really?” she prompted, baiting him even more boldly in an effort to make him lose his temper, too, so they could finally get at the whole truth. She set her half-full glass down with an unhappy thud on the small kitchen table. “Then perhaps you would like to start by explaining Holly’s concern for you.” She trod closer. “Not to mention the intimate past you two seem to have. Tell me, Josh,” she demanded jealously as her rioting emotions took over once again, “is Holly the woman you told me about earlier, the one you loved and lost?”
“No,” Josh said. To Patience’s irritation, his gray eyes were completely free of remorse. “That was someone else,” he continued affably. “Holly and I were just friends. We lived in the same town house complex and got to know each other while I was in college and veterinary school, but we were not—and I stress not— romantically involved.”
“But you were close,” Patience said as she speared him with a censuring gaze, hurt he had deliberately kept her in the dark about the full nature of his relationship with Holly. If it was all so innocent, as he kept asserting, why hadn’t he told her all this from the very beginning, when he introduced them?
“And she knows things about you. Intimate things.”
Josh’s jaw set as he regarded her with a mixture of exasperation and annoyance. “She was a confidante, years ago, at a time when I had a lot on my mind and needed a friend. These days, except for when she initiates a meeting or conversation, or comes to visit the horse she has stabled here, I rarely see her, and frankly I like it that way.” His mouth thinned. “Holly’s a nice woman, a good woman, but she can also be a real pain in the butt because she tends to meddle too damn much! As you may have gathered,” he concluded grimly, “I don’t like people prying into my personal life.”
Patience was silent a moment. From what she had seen thus far, Josh’s behavior toward Holly bore out everything he had said. She hadn’t seen them kissing or looking starry-eyed at each other. Their conversation was damning and intimate, true, but as Patience thought about the intimacy of her relationship with Cisco, she knew that that, too, could be easily misinterpreted. And already had been by Josh, at least a little. But she and Cisco were, and alway
s had been, just friends.
Yet despite all that, Patience knew there were some things she had overheard Holly and Josh saying that had to be explained. And she wasn’t going to rest until they were. She regarded Josh grimly. “Why did you tell Holly that I’m dead right not to trust you completely, or that you want to hide the reason why you seem so familiar to me? And why does Holly consider it essential you remain here only if you do so incognito?”
“I know it all sounds bad.” Josh watched her roam the small living area.
“Not just sounds bad, Josh.” Patience skidded to a halt in front of him and suppressed the urge to deck him. “It is bad. You have been using me and perhaps the McKendrick fortune to help you ‘get it all,’ whatever that is.”
He stared at her in frustration, but there was no masking the potent yearning in his face. “That, Patience, is happiness. A life, family, a woman to love. That’s what I was talking about when I said I was so close to having everything I had ever wanted.”
Patience desperately wanted to believe that. If she looked into his eyes much longer, she knew she would. “Tell me, Josh, is Holly Diehl going to be hurt by whatever scheme you have going here? Or is she going to gain, too, and it’s just me that stands to lose in all this?” The way she had lost before, with Alec.
“You won’t lose anything by your association with me, Patience,” Josh said quietly, putting both his hands on her shoulders. “I give you my word on that.”
Patience shoved the heel of her hand through the mussed layers of her hair and emitted a short, bitter laugh. “Don’t you understand? I already have lost, just by trusting you for a little while.”
The Ranch Stud Page 13
