“Stay,” he said, voice firm. I looked at him, and he at me. “We both know you don’t have anywhere else.”
I bit my lips together. “You heard he’s gone, didn’t you.”
“Yeah.”
I sank down to my knees. The smoke smelled awful, but at least the fire was warm. “How?”
“I can’t tell you.”
Sure, why not. I sunk my head, and then looked around for my robe to cover myself with. He went and got a sweater from his non-serial-killer closet for me and brought it back, handing it over. I tugged it on. It was huge, hanging past my waist to bunch on the floor. It smelled like he did, musky and good. I pulled out my necklace to sit on it between my breasts and glint in the firelight.
“You were his, weren’t you.” The odd way he said it made me look at him.
“Yeah.” He was studying me intently, the way Vincent sometimes did – used to – and then I remembered the prior night when I’d fucked him. “Oh, God -- you must think I’m a whore.” I had been, but --
“No. I know what it’s like to trade sex for safety.” His eyes glazed over like he was seeing his past not mine. “I should have known better. I should have pushed you away –“
“You couldn’t have known.” I untucked and retucked my legs to be more comfortable, and hid my hands inside their sleeves. That hadn’t been exactly what I was doing, but better for him to think that. “How did you know Vincent?”
“We were lovers.” He watched me for a reaction. “You’re not surprised?”
I shook my head. “I knew every part about him. Even that one. We didn’t have secrets. He was very clear about that. From the first day we met. He made me swear.” Which was why I’d been so surprised there was only one go-bag there. I frowned, and pulled my legs up underneath the sweater, until it enveloped me. “How long were you with him?”
“Three years. You?”
It seemed best to be truthful. “Seven.”
“Did he ever…mention me?”
I couldn’t help but hear the hopeful tone in his voice – but now was not the time for lies. “No. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.”
The way he was staring into the fire, looking lost, broke my heart. “Did you love him?”
He nodded.
“I loved him too.”
“I know. And if he didn’t love you, you wouldn’t be here.” He stoked the fire. I saw the tail of something blue curl inside it as it blackened.
“What was that?”
“Your robe, clothes, and backpack. Don’t worry – I saved the money and your ID.”
“What?” I crawled toward the fire. “You burned -- my things? Why?”
“You wouldn’t understand.”
“But –“ I looked from him to the flames. “That was all I had. All I had of him – my time with him –“ I reached out, like I could snatch a piece of it back.
“Not all of it.” He put a book into my open hand. “He left this for you, Samantha.”
He knew my name now -- I snatched the book back protectively. I hadn’t packed it – Vincent must have, when he’d given up on his own bag. I opened it, reading by the light of the fire.
“Samantha – I don’t know where you’ll be when you find this, but I hope you’re safe.
If you’re gone, stay gone. If you’re not gone yet – go. As fast as you can. Get out of town and never come back. Pretend that you’re being chased by wolves, okay? Run and keep running. Don’t look back.
I want you to be happy, Sam. Start over somewhere new and when you’re safe drop this in the mail three states over from wherever it is you are, so they can’t trace you. Send it to US Marshall Bren -- I’ve been working with him. I’m so sorry I couldn’t tell you. I promise we were supposed to get out together. I never wanted to leave you in this world alone.
Be safe, Sammy. For both of us.
I love you.
V.”
The rest of the pages were a list – of addresses and names, dates and dollar amounts. I thumbed through it quickly – almost all of them were full. I sank back and my stomach dropped as I read on.
“Have you ever seen that before?” Max asked.
I shook my head.
“Is that what I think it is?” his voice was low.
“The reason he got killed? Yeah,” I said, my voice small. I riffled through the pages again. Vincent was so safe, and so careful – and so thorough. How had he gotten caught? “He – it’d – “ I inhaled and exhaled, trying to put my thoughts into words. “The family changed. I mean, they were never good guys, you know? I’m not an idiot, I could see that. But things were getting worse. The violence – it isn’t that it wasn’t safe, it was never safe, but they were taking bigger risks for less reward – they weren’t watching each other’s backs like they used too –he told me it was becoming less like a family, and more like a gang. I knew he didn’t like that, but I had no idea it’d come to this.” I hefted the book cataloguing Vincent’s betrayal. “He was trying to bring it back, make it better, but the others wouldn’t listen to him –“
The signs had all been there, looking back. Hell, us even making go-bags, talking about how we’d escape – why hadn’t I realized it sooner? This book was the result of weeks of effort – how had he kept it hidden from me all that time? Was I blind, or just stupid?
“Who else knew?”
“No one. He never said anything when anyone else was around. And I would have taken it to the grave.” I stopped questioning everything Vincent had done and tried to remember if I’d ever given any of his dissatisfaction away. I’d always done my best to never talk to Syd, and I didn’t interact with most of the rest of the family, they were all too ‘good’ for me.
I just wish I’d known. I knew he’d done it to protect me, but – how lonely he must have been, without anyone else to turn to – without anyone else at the very end –
Oh God, Vincent, baby, why. For the first time, I really felt that he was gone. I started crying, and all the tears I hadn’t let myself shed in the past twenty four hours welled up.
I set the book down and sobbed.
Max reached over and patted my back, like someone completely unused to the act. It made me realize what I was missing more and cry harder, and then he made a sad sound too. Without asking for permission he grabbed me – how the fuck was he so strong? – pulled me underneath one of his arms, pressing my head against his chest. I didn’t fight him, I clung to him and he to me, like we were one another’s life preservers in a storm-tossed ocean. His chest rumbled and the sounds he made were just as sad as mine.
I didn’t know how much time passed, only that he recovered before I did, and started stroking my hair, rocking me softly. After all the being afraid of him, there was nothing but gentleness now. When I could manage to talk again, I pulled back, and he quickly let me go.
“If I didn’t know – then who did? And how?”
“That’s not what you should be asking yourself, Sam.” His gaze was serious as he looked at me. “He wanted a different life for you – he bought it with his own.” He rocked up to standing and went for the safe closet again and hauled a new bag out of it. “I’m taking you out of town tomorrow.”
“What?” my tone surprised the both of us. It was exactly what I’d wanted less than an hour ago.
“It’s the reason he sent you here. He knew I’d get you out safely.” Max’s face looked resolved, moving from the tenderness he’d shown with me back to the glowering man he felt he had to be.
“But -- what’ll you do?”
“What do you mean?”
“Are you – just going to stay here?” I didn’t want to ask him to come with me, but I didn’t want to be alone. Plus – the way he was moving, the far-away look in his eyes -- “You’re going to do something. I can tell.”
“I am,” he admitted. “After you’re gone.”
“What?”
“The less you know the better.”
I stared at him.
“Did you really just fucking tell me that?”
He looked like I’d slapped him, but didn’t answer me. I stood up and started shouting. “It’s his fault! He promised me a life without secrets! He told me that he trusted me – and he made me trust him! I didn’t want to, but he made me -- and now – and he held this back from me –“ I pointed at the book.
“That doesn’t change the fact that you’re leaving tomorrow.”
“Even if you make me get on a plane, I’ll be flying right back.” I stared up at him. “You can’t make me be safe. No one can. If my life has had one guiding principle – it’s that.”
“He wanted you to be safe,” Max said, like that would change my mind.
“Fuck what he wanted – he’s not here to see it.” He was standing by the fire, its light giving him shadows that made him look unholy. It lit his hair like a halo, but the shadowed expression on his face was grim and cruel. His naked chest heaved, and I imagined Vincent stroking his hands all over it, pressing into all the secret places of Max’s body like he had mine.
We were one and the same, he and I. We had to be.
I took a step, and then another step, until I was standing right in front of him and I put both my hands on his chest and stared up as he watched me cautiously. “I want revenge, Max. Whoever found out, whoever told on him, whoever got him killed – I want revenge. When they’re dead, I’ll go, but not a second sooner.” I kneaded the muscles of his chest as though I were a cat. “I can’t live my life without him, knowing that they’re still alive.”
He swayed under my hands, as though the current of my hatred was passing through to him.
Knowing Vincent had touched him, cherished him – maybe even loved him – made me feel like he would understand. And he was the only other person on the planet who knew what losing Vincent felt like.
“We might die,” he finally said.
“So?” I asked, completely sincerely.
He closed his eyes and bent his head down. Then, faster than I could see, he reached forward and grabbed my hair, pulling my head down so that I was showing him my neck. I was scared in the way someone who sees a snake is startled – one moment you’re fine, the next you’re not – as he controlled all of me, making me sway. If I swatted at him or pushed him or complained, all of this would be over, I knew it, and so I rocked with him, letting him pull me in, feeling his breath along my neck, even as my hands on his chest felt him breathe it. Time slowed to a crawl as he weighed my resolve versus my fear.
“All right,” he said, releasing me. I took an unsteady step back and put my hands down. Primal urges rolled through my body – I wanted to be taken like that, like there was no question of who was in charge or who I was supposed to be. I shoved them down as he went on. “We need a plan.”
“Anything. I’m in.” I swallowed, and held my hand out. He looked from me to it and took it, shaking it firmly. The look in his eyes just then – wild, angry, and determined – made me very glad that he and I were on the same side.
Chapter Ten
He was right to mate with her, after me. She didn’t know what the firelight did to her, how it ran over her body like electricity – and when she touched me, how it burned. It was like she had a core of silver underneath her curves – maybe she’d been soft, once, but living with Vincent with the family, had made the right parts of her like steel. The tears she’d shed – we’d shed – earlier, were gone, replaced by a lust for revenge, and who could blame her? I’d had seven years to come to grips with Vincent’s absence, she’d had only a little over a day.
And when she’d let me pull her near to make sure she wouldn’t break -- the wolf inside me shivered.
“We have to figure out who to kill first.” My truck keys were in my pockets – I didn’t go to the closet for a shirt, in fact I needed to ditch these pants, they smelled like her and him. “You read that book and try to figure it out, and I’ll be back later – I’m going out to try to get us answers.”
“Where?”
“The bars, the clubs – the places where people talk.”
“And you think they’ll talk to you?”
“They’d better.” I took two strides toward the door, and she ran after me.
“Don’t you dare lock me in.”
“Not tonight. But do not leave here. Trust me, this forest isn’t safe.”
She nodded, and I believed her. “What about your clothes?” she asked me, as I stepped off the porch.
“What about them?” I asked back, and went into the darkness.
Truth was, I’d hidden stockpiles of clothes and cheap boots several places in the forest. Never knew when or where I’d be in wolf form and quickly need to appear human. I stripped off my jeans outside when I was far enough away from the cabin, turned into a wolf, and picked up the keys I’d dropped with my teeth. Then I ran for a cache and changed back into human, so nothing on me would smell like her.
The pack wouldn’t be happy to see me, but they were the only place I could start. I circled below the ridge down to my truck, and got in.
#
I was with Vincent when I got the call.
“We’re going to take your place.”
I’d noticed pack members ingratiating themselves with the family, I couldn’t not. I was on the gravy train, so of course they wanted in too. Working security and muscle was a hell of a lot easier than being a construction worker as a were. It wasn’t 9-5, they expected you to be up at night, and you got to be as intimidating as you wanted to.
I just didn’t want to think they’d go this far.
“You have to leave.”
I stared around at the room I’d grown accustomed to, the chairs, the wide leather couch, and Vincent, lounging with his legs across mine, a book in one hand and a glass of wine in the other.
“When?” I asked.
“Immediately,” the voice on the other end of the line said, and hung up.
Vincent looked up as I brought the phone down. “What’s wrong?”
Ever since I’d exposed myself to him, I’d been dreading this possible moment. Our life together’d been so perfect – he knew me and I knew him, and we knew all of each other. It wasn’t fair that I had to go – but the pack had never been fair where I was concerned.
“I need to leave,” I said slowly.
“Why? Where?”
“My time’s up.” I started pushing his legs off of me.
“What the fuck, Max – this isn’t funny.”
How thick were the walls, and how close were my packmembers? If I didn’t leave now, they’d kill us both on principle.
“You know what it’s like to get orders, Vincent.” My hands reached for his. “I just got mine.”
“But -- why?”
I reached over and put a hand on his lips before he could say anything incriminating. I pointed to my lips and spoke without sound. If I disobey them, they’ll kill me.
His eyes narrowed. We have guns.
If you try anything, they’ll kill you too.
I’d never told Vincent about the pack’s infiltration. I’d been trying so hard to keep him safe -- the less I told him the better. But now there was no time.
You can’t trust anyone new. Look around on a full moon. You know why they’re not there.
He bent over, and grabbed my head, pull me close to him. We can fight them.
I knew that he’d loved me then, even if he’d never said it. The tortured look in his eyes, knowing he was losing me -- There’s no fighting what you are, I told him, kissed him, and walked out the door.
#
I put the car in park outside of The Doghouse. It was Syd’s chosen dive, first for the name, secondly because the bartender poured strong. Someone was supposed to be guarding Vincent the night he’d been killed – I wanted to find out who.
I rolled in and the first person I saw was Syd. I saw Syd-the-wolf every full moon night, as I skulked around the edges of the pack, begging for a place at whatever we’d killed. I
hadn’t seen Syd-the-man in years.
“Well, well,” he said, turning around the second he scented me. “If it isn’t the mountain man.”
I walked straight for him. “Who was protecting him that night?”
He frowned at me. “Who told you?”
“Karl.” I didn’t care if he got in trouble. Fuck him.
Karl came down the hall from the bathroom, adjusting himself. “Aw, shit,” he said, seeing me.
“You went and told him our business?” Syd asked, without turning around.
“I was hoping he knew where the bitch was hiding out. Maybe he and Vinnie fucked there years ago or something.” He shrugged one shoulder.
“His name was Vincent, not Vinnie,” I corrected, under my breath. Syd and Karl were the only weres in here. The rest of the men present were family men of assorted caliber. I recognized some of them, and knew some of them recognized me.
“He’s dead now, and I’ll call him whatever I want.”
I ignored him and looked at Syd again. “I need to know who was supposed to be there.”
“Why?”
“Why the fuck do you think?” I said. His eyes narrowed. There was a line coming up. My wolf was whispering not to cross it, don’t run over, run-back, hide, but I didn’t give a fuck if I made my alpha mad anymore.
“Let it go, Maxie,” Karl said, reaching out to push me back. I knew what he was thinking, we were in public, this was no place to make a scene. “You going to take on the whole family? On your own? These things happen, Max. He had a good string. Let it go.”
I was shivering in rage. It’d been so long since I’d been among their number as a man. All the times they’d been cruel, all the scars they’d left on me, inside and out, came rushing up. On full moon nights my wolf just was, it didn’t have to deal with all the ignominy, it knew its place.
Whereas human me – my hands curled into fists. “Anyone in the family would be a fool to let you watch their back.” I said it loud enough for everyone in the room to hear.
Syd growled. I knew it was coming, and I didn’t care. He punched me in the stomach, and I took it like a man would, folding in and falling back. Tables scattered behind me. Other men jumped and stood, not complaining – they wanted to watch.
The Hunted (Sleeping With Monsters Book 2) Page 9
