Rockstar Daddy (Wilder Rock #1)

by Taryn Quinn

  “There is no chance it’s his.”

  If I’d guessed what I might say first, that wouldn’t have been it. But as shocking as it was hearing her say those two words, her mentioning Derek shortly thereafter had shorted out my brain.

  My only clear thought was Mine. Mine. Mine.

  Not just Maggie, but that baby she was carrying. Hers. Ours.

  Ours.

  She balled up her fists and braced them on her thighs. “So help me God, Kellan, if you accuse me of not knowing who fathered my baby, I’m going to de-ball you right here with my bare hands.” She lifted them and I was too impressed by the glint in her eye to laugh at the picture she made. Tiny and fierce, defending herself and her child.

  Our child.

  “No.” I took one of her hands. “I just want to hear you say it’s mine. I know it’s crazy. Just say it. Please,” I added hoarsely.

  Her lower lip wobbled. “It’s yours.”

  Fuck, we had a baby, and I didn’t even know how it had happened. Scratch that. I knew how, but I didn’t know when. Was it at my place in California? No, it couldn’t be. It was too soon. Only two-and-a-half weeks. She might not even know yet, never mind be so sick.

  But New Year’s Eve was over five weeks ago. That was enough time for her to find out, right? Hell if I knew. But she seemed certain, so that had to be it.

  “Fuck, the cold car condom.” Even as I said it, I hit myself in the forehead with the heel of my hand. “I knew that was a risk, but—”

  “But what?” she demanded, clearly on guard for me to say something horrible.

  She’d had to worry about my reaction on top of the fear she’d endured alone for days. I hated that she’d had to face it by herself for even one freaking instant.

  We’d made the child together. We’d decide the rest together too. Somehow.

  “But I didn’t care.” I gripped her hands and faced her straight-on. No more evasions. “Just like the night I fucked you raw. I didn’t know then that you were on the Pill. Didn’t ask. It just wasn’t important.”

  Her eyes filled and my gut wrenched as if it was being wrung out between two fists. Hers, mine. Both of us pulling and twisting to figure out what the hell we wanted from this thing. “You don’t think I was trying to trap you,” she said quietly.

  “No. God, no. Why would you? I’ve been a complete dick to you. I mean, some of that was foreplay, but—”

  Her watery laughter stopped me cold.

  Swallowing hard, I framed her gorgeous face in my hands. One of her tears spilled over and rolled toward my thumb and I caught it, brushing it away. “I’ve missed your laugh. Missed you. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing, Red. Not with you, and definitely not with two. But I know I can’t let you go.”

  Her throat worked as she forced back a sob. “You felt guilty about me. That’s not a reason to stay with a person. First I wondered if you just wanted me for sex. Now this.”

  “Christ almighty, I wish I’d only wanted you for sex.”

  The hurt that flashed across her features made me shut my eyes. “No. I’m not saying any of this right. Wanting more—needing more—out of this, out of us, is new for me. God, Red. Everything is so different with you. I have no idea what my moves should be. If it had just been about fucking you, I could’ve moved on. It never was, from the moment you accused me of being a possible deviant with a dungeon.”

  She chuckled again. “I didn’t use those exact words.”

  “Close enough.”

  “All of this is nice.” She pulled her hand back and circled it between us. “But how am I ever supposed to believe you truly want to be with me for real? Probably isn’t enough, Kellan. Technically it should be. We’re so new, and there’s so much we don’t know about each other. But for God’s sake, I don’t want to fall alone. And if you didn’t fall all the way with me, maybe it’s just better if we end this now.”

  The mere possibility chilled my skin and stalled my heart. Like hell.

  “You talked to my mother.”

  She nodded.

  “She must’ve told you what I said. That I loved you, days ago.”

  I shouldn’t be telling her this way. I just didn’t know if my mother already had. I was fighting to hold on to a chance with her, and that was more important than romance or any other shit I didn’t have a clue about.

  Honesty was the only thing that could salvage us. Truth all the way.

  “She told me you loved me, probably.” She raised her head, nailing me with that direct gaze that had slayed me from the instant we’d met. “I know I should focus on the fact you’re almost there. Probably. A guy like you falling for me, small town Maggie Kelly, is fictional enough. I’m sure some people would think I’m asking for too much. It’s too soon, and there’s time. Except there isn’t.” She wiped her cheeks. “Not even just because I have a child growing inside me who isn’t going to understand that we were horny and got semi-drunk one night—”

  “You might’ve been semi-drunk, but I was stone cold sober.” I wound my fingers through hers and brought them to my mouth. “I told you I lied to you, but I didn’t tell you why.”

  “You haven’t told me much, including why if you suspected a cold condom might be a risk, you’d take it. Saying it wasn’t important in that moment…” She trailed off. “Have you done that in the past?”

  “No. Never. I told you that before. I’m careful about protection.”

  “Except with me.”

  “Normally I would’ve used a rubber from a freezing cold glove compartment precisely never. But I’ve operated from instinct all my life, and this thing with you feels right. It felt right when you helped me make dinner and just inserted yourself into my space like you belonged. Not because of what my name is or because I might be big time famous one day or how many zeroes are in my checkbook.”

  “I don’t care about any of that. And what do you mean you might be famous? You are already. You’re so amazing. There’s no way you aren’t headed for the stars.”

  “Besides, even if—” Finally hearing her, I paused. “Say what?”

  “You heard me. You’re incredibly talented, Kellan. Your voice, your skill on the guitar—which you should play more during concerts, by the way—your persona onstage. You have genuine star quality. The kind that can’t be duplicated.”

  “We already have two guitarists,” I said vaguely while my mind reeled.

  Was she really saying all that? Did she truly mean it?

  “Yes, I mean it, and duh, you should know better.” She smiled weakly. “By the way, handy time for you to start speaking your thoughts out loud like I do.”

  Ahh fuck. Figured I’d get chatty now.

  “Thank you.” I let out an uneven breath. “But all of that isn’t the real me. The music is, of course, but the rest… You saw me, Red.” I kissed her fingertips and didn’t look at her as she sniffled.

  I couldn’t.

  “Just like I saw you. All that bravado and love for your family. Your strength and your kindness and how you were a little bit crazy, just like me. Maybe not in the crushing-a-beer-can-against-the-side-of-your-head way like some of my bandmates, but we fit. You know it too.”

  She nodded, and relief expanded in my chest like a damn balloon, crowding out the concern and the panic and everything else except the woman I loved.

  “I like the man I am when I’m with you.” I gripped her hand in both of mine, focusing on the delicate twisted silver flower ring on her thumb. “I don’t want to keep you down or stop you from living your dreams. I have some too. Wild ones, the kind most people don’t understand. You might not always understand them either, but I believe you’ll try. Just like I’ll try with yours.” I clenched her hand, only realizing I was squeezing too hard when she gasped. I forced myself to relax my hold. “Give me a chance to learn this shit. I’m smart when I apply myself. It should only take roughly fifty years.”

  “Oh, is that all?” She pulled her crushed hand free and rubbed
her eyes. “Wait a second. Glove compartment? The condom I meant for you to use was in my purse.”

  “That’s what you got from my long ass speech? A speech I dare say was romantic-ish as well.” I crossed my arms. “Guess I’m not the only one who needs some schooling.”

  Ignoring me, she rose to grab her fluffy pink bag off the floor by the couch. I was almost glad to see it. If I named that thing Marsha, it could almost serve as the family pet.

  Family. Holy fuck. I was really thinking about something permanent with this woman. Good thing too, since baby and all.

  But I was the guy who’d grown up watching his father treat the idea of family like a pair of shoes you took on and off for appearance’s sake. He’d always been on the move and settling down hadn’t been for him. I’d always assumed the same hold true for me. Add in my career choice, and I’d never thought I would be in this situation. Caught between two coasts, and wanting to be on both at the same damn time.

  “Oh my God. You took the wrong one.” Cupping her hand over her mouth, Maggie turned back to me and held up the piece of foil she’d unearthed from her purse as if it was a trophy. “It was still in the pocket.”

  “How was I supposed to know where it was? You said in your car.”

  “I said in my purse!” She frowned. “Didn’t I?”

  I pulled myself to my feet, not even bothering to try to be discreet as I adjusted my still rock-hard dick. Her fault for being so irresistible and also half naked. “Little late to be wondering. Besides, if the cold was the issue, it doesn’t really make much difference.”

  “Um, not just cold. That condom was Derek’s. He carried it around forever before we had sex the first time. I told him to toss the stupid thing because it had to be older than dirt so he threw it in there. I totally forgot.” She shook her head, tipping it back to stare at the ceiling. “I got knocked up because my stripper-loving ex is a pack rat. Why is this my life?”

  “How was I supposed to know which was the good rubber and which was the bad? Should’ve thrown it in the garbage.” I dropped down on the couch and raked a hand through my hair, holding the back of my head so it didn’t spin off my neck.

  Every time she mentioned the baby, blackness encroached on the edges of my vision. Perhaps the panic would fade by the time the kid was in college.

  Maybe by graduate school.

  “Did you miss the part where I forgot it was in there?” Maggie sat beside me and linked her hands between her knees. “You know, we have options. It’s not like we have to stay together forever just because of this if it’s not what you want.”

  “Hell no. We aren’t aborting my kid.” When she shot me a sharp look, I cleared my throat and silently apologized to Lila. I’d worry about protecting my voice later. “Look, I’m all for you making your own choice. I’ll support it even if I don’t agree. But if you think that’s what I want, it isn’t. Absolutely fucking not.”

  “It’s not what I want either. I want this baby.” Her damp blue eyes glimmered. “No matter how you felt, I’d already decided to keep my child.”

  “Our child,” I managed before I pressed my face into my hands.

  So stupid to feel such relief when I didn’t have any right to put demands on her. But fuck, my chest was still tight.

  She touched my arm and I lifted my head. “My niece is my favorite person. I don’t see her enough, but damn, I love that kid. My brother-in-law wanted my sister to have an abortion, because he said they weren’t ready for kids. She told him hell no and kicked him out and he beat her black and blue. She survived and obviously so did Rainy. They’re both fine. Both so strong.” At Maggie’s hitch of breath, I met her gaze. “Christ, Red, I might not get this right the first or even the fiftieth time, but I know I love you. Already. Love at first sight, who knew?”

  Her broken laughter was a balm to my soul. She tipped her head against mine and curled her fingers into my palm. That show of trust made me grin like a besotted fool.

  Maybe I really could do this. Maybe we could.

  “I know it’s all happening too fast, and I know I have the kind of profession that doesn’t exactly help with the trustworthy factor. But I won’t slip.”

  She laughed unsteadily. “You bet your ass you won’t. Me either.”

  “I want this. You and me and our baby.” I held out my other hand to her, palm up. “For keeps.”

  18

  Kellan

  “Me too.” Maggie gripped my other hand, squeezing it before she let go and bumped her shoulder against mine. “And FYI, every little girl dreams of meeting a rockstar. Chicks don’t usually write fanfiction about hooking up with a hot accountant and making little pencil babies, you know.”

  I laughed. “The usual woman isn’t like you. At least not the ones I’ve met lately.”

  “You thought I’d look down at you for being in music. That I ever could.” Her shoulders slumped. “That’s my fault. I gave you the impression I only wanted the version of you I met at the cabin.”

  “You indicated a strong preference, yes.”

  “Well, I can’t pretend I don’t love you all beardy and mountain man-ish. But then I saw you online at one of your shows—make that all of your shows. I watched every clip I could find.” Her flush was the cutest thing I’d ever seen. “So, um, I’m growing to enjoy that side of you as well.”

  “That so?”

  “Yes, it’s so.”

  “You going groupie on me?”

  She bristled until she must’ve realized I was teasing her. She dipped her head so that her hair fell across one eye. “Maybe I want to be laid out on a drum kit too.”

  My growl made her giggle as I inched closer. “Only if you let me sign your breasts with my tongue.”

  “Mmm.” She wound a strand of my hair around her finger. “That might be able to be arranged.”

  Silence reigned between us, but it wasn’t awkward. I almost hated to break it.

  “Part of why I didn’t tell you the truth was because I wanted you to want me for me. Just Kellan, no fame attached. The other reason I didn’t tell you is because I thought you’d think the worst of me. It was easier to just fall back on the first profession I had when I went to California than to face all your questions. Questions you have every right to ask.” I rubbed my thumb over the back of her hand. “I’ve been with a lot of women. I’m no saint.”

  “Yeah, well, I’ve been with one man besides you and he was a jackass. So I figure our track records cancel each other out and we should start fresh from here.” She glanced down at her flat stomach. “As fresh as we can, not counting the miniature alien invader.”

  Swallowing hard, I slid my free hand over her belly and met her gaze. The hope there nearly killed me.

  She wanted to believe in us, as did I. So it was up to me to ease her fears and find a way to make this work.

  “I’ll commute. There are cars and planes,” I said, brushing a kiss over her upturned mouth.

  “You won’t always be able to. I’ll come to you too. You do shows all over, right?” She eased back and cocked her head. “When can I watch you?”

  Waggling my brows, I glanced pointedly at my lap. “Keep sitting around in that hot as fuck bra while I touch your belly and I’m thinking three minutes or less.”

  “Wow, really? You’re actually getting aroused by my practically nonexistent baby belly?” Her fascination with that possibility made me chuckle. She reached over and gripped my cock through my jeans and my laughter turned into a groan. “Oh yes, you are. God, I’m so horny. I don’t know if that’s the pregnancy too or if you broke me or if it’s due to years of deprivation or what but—”

  “Jesus, woman, if you don’t sit on my lap, I’m going to do the honors for you.”

  “Yes, sir.” Her breathy response as she straddled me nearly shot me over right then and there.

  Luckily she had a benevolent streak and unzipped me in a hurry. She pushed down my boxers and jeans before giving my length a nice, hard squeeze.
“I love how big you are. Just the size I need.” She rocked against me, pushing her magnificent tits in my face, and I nuzzled them, savoring her satiny skin and her sexy strawberry fragrance. “Like right now.”

  “Fuck, yes.”

  I reached behind her to undo her bra and her breasts tumbled free, practically right into my waiting mouth. After I tossed aside her bra, I sucked on her nipple and she threw back her head, exposing the long pale line of her throat.

  “This time will be fast. Next time I’ll go slower, I promise. I just have to get inside you before I fucking die.”

  “Oh, yes. It’s been fucking years.”

  I grinned against her cleavage. I’d probably live right in that spot if I could. “Swearing? So naughty of you.”

  She gripped a handful of my hair and tugged my head back until our eyes were level. “Bad influence,” she whispered, licking her lips before she kissed me. Her tongue streaked into my mouth and I gripped her ass through her jeans, grinding her against my dick. Her cries grew wilder and sharper, and I knew she was getting close.

  She wasn’t the only one.

  “On my cock,” I said, and she nodded, eyes bright, as I jerked down her zipper. She understood what I wanted. Probably because she wanted the same thing.

  “Oh shit. No condoms again.” The realization caused my cock to jerk.

  Her chuckle was dirty and dark. “No. All the coming inside me that you like.”

  “Jesus. My lucky fucking life.” I cupped her breast in one hand, tweaking her tight nipple with my thumb. “These are more sensitive.”

  Her lips trembled, all the answer I needed.

  “Getting bigger too. Goddamn, woman, you’re a miracle.” I drew down her jeans and her panties, shoving them off and onto the floor. Then I picked her up and sat her right on my cock, shutting my eyes at the exquisite feel of her glove-tight pussy sliding down my length. Bare. So wet and hot for me already. I locked my hands around her curvy hips and drew her up and down my shaft, forcing my eyes open to watch her face as we fucked. To see the way her lashes fluttered and the flush that bloomed under her skin and how her perfect tits bounced with every stroke. Knowing she was growing rounder because of what we’d made only turned me on more.