She felt so awful, she couldn’t breathe.
When she stopped following, he turned around and realized what she was staring at. “A deal’s a deal,” he said. “So there’s my part.”
“It’s beautiful.” Her voice broke. “It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”
That was when the tears came.
“Sydney?” He moved toward her with alarm—and cupped a hand to her face, gently wiping the tears away with the rough surface of his thumb. His touch sent a shivering thrill through her that just about made her heart stop.
Then he jerked away like her skin was on fire and stared at his own hand, horrified. “I’m sorry,” he stammered. “I didn’t mean…”
“Cam.” She had to tell him, if only to erase that awful look in his eyes. “You were right,” she said. “Last night—” She hitched a breath as fresh pain washed through her at the memory, and started over. “Last night I walked in on Tommy and that blonde you saw him with. She’s a waitress at The Klinker, and they…” She couldn’t bring herself to say what they were doing, but she figured he could guess. “The wedding’s off.”
He flinched, like some invisible hand had slapped him hard across the face. She could see him struggling with a hundred reactions, feel the shock rolling off him in waves.
At last he said, “So can I shoot him now?”
Out of all the things he could’ve said, that was the right one. She laughed. And it actually felt good. “I won’t stop you,” she said.
He smiled, but it faded fast. “You’ve got to feel terrible,” he said. “Tell you what. Come on in the house and use the bathroom. Grab a shower if you want. I’ll fix some breakfast, and then I’ll take you home.”
“That actually sounds amazing,” she said. “Thank you.”
When they reached the porch steps, Sydney remembered what she’d been thinking before the sight of the carriage knocked everything out of her head. “Hey, Cam,” she said. “Do you think your mom’s up right now? I don’t even know what time it is. I wouldn’t mind saying hello, if she is.”
He stopped so suddenly, she almost ran straight into him. He turned slowly. His face was a careful blank. “Mom’s not here,” he said in stretched and grinding tones. “She ran off with the foreman, and then all the ranch hands quit. Maybe they ran off with her, too.”
Her face flushed instantly. “I’m so sorry,” she said. “When did she…”
Only his eyes were alive. They blazed from his dead expression. “Two weeks after Dad’s funeral.”
“Oh my God.” The enormity of those five simple words fell like a ton of bricks, directly onto her heart. “Oh my God.” Everything fit now—his infrequent trips to town, the cancelled school groups, the cut-off church donations, the neglected carriage. The peaceful silence. And Cam’s depthless fury at the “townies.”
She was literally trembling. “You’re alone,” she said. “You’ve been alone out here, all this time. How could you…why didn’t you tell anyone?”
His throat worked once. “Because nobody ever asked.”
With that, he turned mechanically and went inside. It was a long moment before she could force her feet to follow him.
Chapter 12
Cam didn’t bother checking to see if Sydney was behind him. He walked straight through the living room, into the kitchen, and would’ve kept going out the back door if he didn’t force himself to stop at the sink and splash some water on his face. He wanted to scream, or hit something, or both.
All this time, he thought he’d been over the abandonment. But what he’d really done was bury it—and the longer he carried it around, the worse it festered. Conscious thoughts of his mother hadn’t even crossed his mind in years.
Now they were doing more than just crossing. They were burning him.
“Cam?”
He whirled at the voice, part of him crazily convinced it was his mother. But Sydney stood in the kitchen doorway, looking more than a little scared. Damn it, he had to calm down. “Sorry,” he said. “Look, I…the bathroom’s out here. I’ll show you.”
She frowned slightly. “You’re not going to talk about it, are you?”
“No.” It came out harsher than he meant, and he forced himself to relax. “Maybe,” he said. “Just…not right this minute, okay?”
“All right,” she said. “I can wait.”
He bit back a groan. This was too much to sort through all at once. For years he’d been nothing but angry or exhausted, but in the last few days his emotions had gone through more twists and turns than a park full of roller coasters. And now he had Sydney Davis, in his house—fresh from a breakup with a man she’d intended to marry.
It figured.
“How about that shower?” He smiled a little and crossed the kitchen. When he reached her, she didn’t move from the doorway. “Um. It’s that way,” he said, nodding toward the living room.
She put a hand on his arm—and it felt traced in fire. “I want to help you,” she said. “But I can’t, if you won’t let me.”
He swallowed. “I will.”
“I’ll hold you to that.”
Instead of responding, he stepped carefully around her and headed for the bathroom door. “Here you go,” he said, pushing it open. “Towel’s on the rack, shampoo and soap and…shower stuff’s in the shower. Take your time. It’ll be a while until breakfast is ready.”
Sydney walked over with a smile. “Thank you,” she said. “You know, you’re a pretty nice guy, for a miserable hermit.”
“Don’t tell anyone. You’ll ruin my reputation.”
She laughed. “Be out soon,” she said, then walked into the bathroom and closed the door.
Cam stood there for a moment, and finally let out a slow breath and headed for the kitchen. It was going to be a long damned morning around here.
* * * *
Sydney decided she actually would take her time, like Cam said to. Maybe that way, she could think of something to say that wouldn’t hurt him more.
She couldn’t even imagine what he must’ve been through. No one in town had asked after his mother? No one? Amanda Thatcher hadn’t been the most social person—it was Cam’s father who knew everyone, did everything, showed up at all the community events. Still, somebody should’ve tried to figure out why everything had ground to halt at the Leaning T.
Instead they all assumed that Cam had voluntarily withdrawn. And she was just as guilty of that as everyone else.
She showered until the water cooled down noticeably, and then dried off and dressed slowly, trying not to cringe at the underwear she’d worn for Tommy. It seemed so inappropriate now, like a party dress worn to a funeral.
Well, she wasn’t going to waste time mourning Tommy’s loss. She already realized that she’d only felt bad for all the other people expecting a wedding. As far as her own feelings, she was equal parts relieved and furious.
When she stepped out of the bathroom, it was to the tantalizing scents of bacon and fresh coffee. She followed her nose back to the kitchen. Cam stood at the stove, spatula in hand. He’d set two places at the table. There was a platter of bacon, a bowl of scrambled eggs, a carton of orange juice. And when he clicked the stove off and turned, a plate of French toast.
He set it down with the rest. “Help yourself,” he said, gesturing to a chair. “I’ll get the coffee.”
“Oh my God, this looks so good. Thank you.” Sydney sat down, her stomach suddenly alive and snarling, and started filling her plate.
By the time Cam poured coffee and sat down across from her, most of the terrible blankness was gone from his face. Now he just looked wrung out. “You find everything okay?” he said.
“Yes, thanks.” She’d already polished off half the bacon she took, and most of a glass of juice. Her head had cleared up a lot. She made herself slow down, and watched him fix a few pieces of toast. He had workman’s hands, big and calloused, the kind that came from years of manual labor. His fingers were long and graceful
.
She never knew a man could have sexy hands.
When she realized where her thoughts were going, she stopped looking fast and cleared her throat. She still didn’t know what to say to him. But she couldn’t say nothing, because that seemed worse. “Maybe we can talk now?” she said.
He froze for an instant, but went back to normal fast. “If we have to.”
“I just…I can’t believe no one ever asked about your mother.”
“Well, believe it.” He put his fork down and sighed. “She pretty much planned it that way,” he said. “She hung around until people stopped bringing out food and asking if they could help even though they didn’t actually intend to, like they do after a funeral. She kept telling them we’d be fine.” His eyes narrowed. “Yeah, she was fine. Mom never really liked it much on the ranch. She was a city girl, so she went back to her precious bright lights. And she left me here to sink or swim.”
Her heart broke all over again. “What did you do?”
He shrugged a little, took a sip of coffee. “For a while I was drowning,” he said. “I had to sell half the horses. Eventually I tried hiring a couple new hands, but they…ran off with more of them. I decided I’d do things myself after that.” A frown creased his lips. “It was a couple of years before I got my head above water. I guess by then, everybody in town gave up on me. So I gave up on them right back.”
This was the most she’d ever heard him talk—and she realized she could happily sit here and talk with him all day. She wasn’t even mad at him for laughing at her all those years ago. She did still wonder why, but that stupid little high school incident was nothing compared to what he’d been through. “You really never hired more help?” she said.
“You ask a lot of questions, you know that?” He flashed the ghost of a smile. “I had to grow up first,” he said. “I was a kid, stupid and scared and angry. Maybe stubborn, too. I probably could’ve asked for help, but…” His mouth firmed abruptly, and he looked off into the distance. “I’ve got a few part-timers now. So I’m fine.”
She knew there was more than he was saying. “But what?”
“Nothing.”
“Cam…”
“But nothing!” He clenched a fist and pounded it on his leg. “I’d had enough of this town’s brand of help,” he said. “Running my horses off, and not even to sell them. Just to piss me off.”
She swallowed hard. “The hands you hired first. They were from town?”
“I was desperate,” he said. “But it was a mistake. They acted just like I expected townies would—didn’t want to get their hands dirty, threw a fit when I told them to work. I wasn’t paying them to stand around. They didn’t like that idea much.” His jaw clenched. “So they drove a bunch of horses up to Valley Ridge and left them at a commercial ranch. I lost six horses, three saddles. And my temper.”
“Who were they?” Sydney whispered, almost not wanting to know.”
“The Banks brothers, Brian and Jesse,” he said. “And…Tommy.”
“Jesus.” Her breakfast tried to come back on her. It was another piece of the puzzle, the reason the two of them despised each other so much. “Tommy worked for you?”
“Not for long. He quit after I beat the hell out of him.” Cam offered a half-shrug. “All three of them, actually. I was a little pissed off about the horses.”
“Oh, God.” More pieces clicked into place. “I remember them being all banged up,” she said. “They said they’d wrecked Tommy’s truck…” She shivered and met Cam’s eyes. “Why didn’t you tell the sheriff? I mean, stealing is a crime.”
“I did,” he ground out. “Took me a few days to sort things out here, though. By the time I could get into town, somebody had started a few nasty rumors about me shooting at people. So the sheriff wasn’t inclined to listen.”
“Tommy.”
He nodded. “Can’t prove it, but I’m pretty sure it was him.”
“Well.” She looked down, unable to take the pain in his face. “Thanks for telling me. At least I understand a few things now.” At once she decided she couldn’t just sit here anymore. She stood and took the empty plate over to the low sink, and started washing it off.
“No more questions?”
Cam’s voice came from right behind her. She gasped and dropped the plate with a loud clatter. While her heart slowed down, she dried her hand on a dishtowel and turned to face him.
He was staring at her with such intensity, she thought she’d melt.
“Actually, I do have one more,” she managed.
He raised an eyebrow, waiting.
“What figures?”
One step brought him inches from her. He grabbed the edges of the sink, trapping her between him and the counter. “It figures that you only turn up when I can’t have you.”
Then he bent down and kissed her.
Chapter 13
It felt like somebody lit a firecracker in her gut.
At first she was too shocked to protest. Then she didn’t want to. His mouth on hers, the warm weight of him pressed against her…it was everything she never knew she wanted. Or at least hadn’t known for a long time.
He pulled back and cursed. “Sorry,” he said. “I’d better take you home.”
“Wait.” She was breathless, and cold where he wasn’t anymore. “What do you mean, I show up when you can’t have me?”
“I don’t want to talk about this.”
“Please. Tell me.”
He snarled and looked away. “You can’t figure it out?” he said. “First you come out here looking to rent my carriage. For your wedding. Then I go to that damned bar for the first time in months, and you’re there with that horse-stealing son of a bitch. I forget my hat, and there you are again—drunk off your ass and asking me to take you to my place, for fuck’s sake.”
She frowned. “So you’d rather not see me at all?”
“No, that’s not it. Christ.” He shoved a hand through his hair. “I thought I’d die having to touch you, knowing…” He looked back at her. “That you weren’t mine.”
“You…wanted me?”
“I’ve always wanted you, Sydney.” His eyes burned with the truth of it. “Hell, even back in school. You asked me to that dance, but Dad was already so sick I barely had time to make my classes. I wasn’t sure I’d even be able to graduate. There was work to do here, and my mother wasn’t any help.” His hands clenched into fists. “You don’t know how bad I wanted to say yes. But there was no way I could, and the whole thing hit me just right…”
“You weren’t laughing at me,” she whispered.
“No. I was laughing at myself, at the whole damned situation. The bullshit irony of it all. I could see I’d hurt you, and that only made it worse. I couldn’t stop.” One corner of his mouth lifted in a rueful smirk. “I was laughing because it figured.”
Her breath caught sharply. She’d heard about a whole life changing in the blink of an eye, but she never thought it could actually happen. All at once, Cam went from the guy who’d broken her teenage heart, to the man who’d wanted her for years—and she’d never really stopped wanting him.
“I’d always meant to apologize for that. I wanted to start over with you,” he said. “And Tommy knew it.”
“What?”
Despite the angry set of his jaw, Cam looked miserable. “When he started working here, he wasn’t all bad. We talked sometimes. He talked about wanting to work in TV, and maybe moving to the city. And I talked about you…probably too much. I’d ask if he’d seen you lately, how you were doing. Whether you were dating anyone. If you still hated me.” He winced. “I swear, it felt like he proposed to you just to spite me.”
The bubble that had been expanding inside her burst. Tommy had never been interested in her before the “truck accident.” She hardly saw him around town, and they hadn’t even been friends in school. But once he’d healed from the accident—with Cam’s fists, not a pickup—he was everywhere, flirting with her aggressively.
At the time, she thought it was sweet.
“I think maybe he did,” she finally said. “And you know what’s the worst thing about it?”
“What?”
“All this time I’ve got to make up missing with you.”
The shocked look on his face said it was going to take a few minutes for him to process things. She didn’t want to wait even one more minute. So this time, she kissed him.
His reaction was immediate. He returned the kiss with a hungry heat, his tongue teasing hers, his arms wrapped around her like a man drowning. She grabbed for him, pulled him closer, and felt him grow hard against her. That sensation alone was enough to leave her wet and panting.
She slid her hands down to his firm ass and pressed until his bulge rubbed against her sensitive spot, throbbing with need.
He groaned. The sound vibrated through her, rippling out in sparks of pleasure. “Christ, Sydney,” he said. “Keep that up and I’m going to have you right here on the sink.”
“That sounds good to me.” She smiled and thought of the preparations she’d made last night. A lifetime ago. “I’m ready.”
He kissed her again. This time it was gentle and soft, the sweetest touch she’d ever felt. “I’ve been ready forever,” he said.
A low, desperate moan rose in the air, and Sydney realized it had come from her. She needed to feel him—all of him, now. She fumbled his jeans open, practically yanking them down, making him gasp. His underwear was black, too. Molded boxer briefs that didn’t do much to tame his straining cock.
She reached for him, but he grabbed her wrist. “Don’t,” he rasped. “You touch me right now, and I’m done. I can’t hold back much longer.”
“Then hurry.”
She got ready herself while he removed the last barrier, glad she’d worn pants with some stretch to them. Her panties were damp, and she almost ripped them trying to get them down. One glimpse of his big, thick cock had her insides quivering.
“How—” she started to say before his hands went to her waist and lifted, taking her breath away. He set her on the edge of the sink. The brief cold of chrome against her skin made her gasp, but she wasn’t cold for long.
Cowboy's Pride (Welcome to Covendale Book 1) Page 8
