She froze. “Are you serious?”
“Very. I don’t want you waiting outside for me ever again.”
“Oh.” She entwined her fingers with his hand on her belly, giving them a squeeze. “Thank you. That means a lot to me.”
“You’re welcome. There’s something I’d like to ask you, though.”
She yawned, then snuggled in. “Hmm?”
“We’re having a department dinner two Fridays from now at the conference hotel near campus. Faculty and staff mostly, but there will also be a few alumni and potential donors in attendance. I’d love it if you would be my date for the evening.”
She remained silent, trying not to tense up, but she did anyway. This was the first time that Kane had invited her to accompany him to a college event, and she couldn’t help wondering what it meant.
“Are you sure you want me to go with you?”
This time he tensed. “I asked you. Pretty sure that means I want you to come with me.”
“I know you did, but you know me. I don’t exactly fit in with a highbrow environment.” She turned in his arms, curling her hand into a fist on his chest. “I think Vanessa would be a better choice to go with you, especially if you need to be in fund-raising mode. She has lots of experience with this sort of thing.”
He loosened his hold on her and she immediately missed the contact. Then the lamp snapped on. She blinked against the brightness that clearly illuminated the irritation sparking in Kane’s eyes.
“This party is for faculty and their significant others,” he explained. “I appreciate you wanting to rent out your friends and I’m sure Vanessa is a lovely woman, but are you seriously suggesting that she take your place? Are you honestly telling me that you want me to go with someone else—someone other than the woman I’m dating?”
“Kane.” She pressed against him, wanting to make sure he understood what she meant. “I’m a washed-up former reality television star and recovering drug addict. You shouldn’t forget that.”
“How can I forget when you mention it every time we’re together?” He sat up, irritation blossoming into anger. “Is that how you think I see you? Or is that how you want me to see you?”
“Not all the time, but you can’t pretend that it isn’t true.” She pushed herself upright, sitting up against the headboard. “It’s what I am. I’m not being self-deprecating just for the fun of it, Kane. I am what I am. Part of my ongoing recovery is accepting that I’m an addict. I’m always going to be an addict. I’m just an addict who doesn’t use anymore.”
He didn’t like her talking about herself like that, she could tell by the way he frowned at her. She knew it sounded negative, as if she were constantly putting herself down. While she knew she had some hard-won good qualities, being fully aware of her limitations kept her feet firmly grounded in reality, and not the fake television kind.
Finally he shoved his fingers through his hair with a deep sigh. “I know it’s a part of you, Nadia, and I think I understand why you describe yourself that way. I may not like it, but I’ll accept it.”
She blew out a relieved breath. “Thank you.”
“That’s just one aspect of you, though. That’s not the only thing you are. Remember, you’re layered like a lotus flower. I want you to know the way I see you.” He clasped her hand in his. “I see a smart, successful businesswoman with an open, warm heart and a generous nature who is fiercely loyal to her friends and is taking steps to continue living her life as her best self. I should also mention that you’re beautiful, sexy, creative, adventurous, and slightly bent.”
“Oh, Kaname.” Tears flooded her eyes. “Is that really how you see me?”
“It’s how I’ve always seen you.”
Overcome, she threw her arms around his neck, hanging on to him as if she’d been lost at sea and he her lifeline. She’d been seen as many things over her life: a dutiful daughter, a bratty sister, a meal ticket. A drugged-out failure. No one had ever described her the way Kane had described her, not even the man she’d thought had loved her. “Kane, the way you see me . . . I’ll treasure that. Always.”
He ran a hand down her bare back. “Does this mean you’ll go to the dinner party with me?”
She drew back, and she could see the worry in his eyes along with the desire that was always there. But she also saw a pure, sweet longing that made her wonder if it was her own longing reflected back. “What’s the dress code?”
“Not formal,” he assured her. “What’s that style called? Not all the way to the floor, sort of dressy but not like you’re in the office?”
She had to smile at his description. “You mean cocktail dress?”
“Yes, that’s it! You could wear that blue dress you wore on our first date.” His eyes glazed over. “I really loved that dress.”
She laughed. “You mean you loved what was underneath.”
“Absolutely. So it’s a yes, you’ll come with me?”
How could she refuse him? She nodded. “Yes, I’ll go with you.”
“Good.” The obvious relief that swept through him brought on a keen guilt that she hid by closing her eyes and lying back against the pillows. Kane hardly requested anything of her, so she had no problem agreeing to go to the faculty dinner with him. She knew, however, that it was an important event for him and his career at the college. She just hoped that her presence wouldn’t be too much of a detriment for him, and he didn’t end up regretting asking her to attend with him.
TWENTY-FOUR
“Thanks for coming shopping with me, guys,” Nadia said as she entered yet another dressing room. “I think I would have given up two shops ago!”
“Any excuse to come boutique shopping in San Francisco is a good excuse,” Vanessa said. “Helping out a sister from a different mister is even better.”
“You’re the one helping her out,” Siobhan said, settling on a bench. “I’m just here for moral support. And the shoes!”
“Why can’t I find anything I like?” Nadia mourned. “I’m acting like I’m seventeen and this is prom!”
“Why are you so nervous?” Vanessa wanted to know. “You and Kane have gone out plenty of times by now.”
“I know.” Nadia looked through the selection of dresses that Siobhan and Vanessa had helped her gather, wishing that Audie were with them. Audie could always defuse their tension with a raunchy joke or a snarky comment. “We’ve gone out to dinner, to the club, and we had that day-trip up here last weekend. This will be the first time that we’ve gone to an event associated with the college and his colleagues.”
Siobhan picked out a black tea-length number with a scooped neck and cap sleeves. “Well, this one won’t work. You need to wear something special since Kane is basically outing you as a couple to his coworkers.”
“Yeah.” Dizziness welled inside Nadia. “I think I need to sit down.”
“You’re really worried about this, aren’t you?”
“I can’t help it. I really want to make a good impression. He won’t talk about it much, but I know he’s under pressure at Herscher. He doesn’t need anything to detract from his goal of getting a full professorship. Or anyone.”
Siobhan settled her hands on her hips. “Are you thinking you’re not good enough for the crowd at Herscher?”
“It’s not about that. Not really. I just wanted Kane to be prepared in case there’s someone there who remembers the old me. He hasn’t had to deal with any negativity associated with my past so far, and I’d like to keep it that way.” She gave her friends a rueful smile. “I even suggested that he take you instead, Nessa. You’ve got more experience dealing with that type of crowd.”
Siobhan snorted. “I bet that went over real well.”
“Kane didn’t like the idea. At all. No offense, Nessa.”
“None taken.” Vanessa smiled at her. “I wouldn’t have gone even if Kan
e had agreed to your crazy idea. Why wouldn’t he want to take the woman he’s dating to a faculty and spouse event?”
“That’s what he said.” Nadia blew out a breath. “I brought up the whole drugs thing and we had a minor argument which he won by telling me how he sees me.”
Both her friends looked at her, matching expressions of eager curiosity on their faces. “And?”
“And the man has a way with words,” she admitted, flushing. “I couldn’t refuse him. So here we are, a week out and with me panicking in a dressing room hoping I don’t embarrass my boyfriend.”
Vanessa and Siobhan looked at each other, then burst into laughter. “What the hell is so funny?” Nadia demanded.
“You said the B word,” Vanessa said, gasping.
“And you didn’t break into hives either,” Siobhan added.
“What B word? Bitch? Because I’m about to break that one out!”
“Boyfriend!” they said in unison.
“I . . . uhm . . . oh.” Heat crawled up her throat to her ears. “I, ah, I guess I did.”
“You’re really into him, aren’t you?” Vanessa asked, her smile indulgent.
“Guys.” Nadia sank onto the bench between her friends. “He’s awesome. I think about him and I get all fluffy inside. We had the most amazing weekend together last week—it was so deep and fun and sexy and comfortable. His kitchen is as nice as mine, and you should see that master bathroom!”
“Most women would be talking about the million-dollar views you get on Bay View Road and how much a certain professor is worth to be able to afford a condo like that,” Vanessa pointed out. “You, on the other hand, care about his kitchen.”
“It’s a great kitchen,” she insisted. “And an even better bathroom. That soaking tub is to die for!”
Vanessa leaned close. “Sounds like you’re more than into the professor.”
“Hush, Nessa,” Siobhan admonished. “You’ll freak her out, and she’s already dancing on the edge as it is!”
“Oops. My bad.”
“I’m okay,” Nadia insisted. “I’m pretty sure. He told his parents about me. I want to tell my dads that Kane and I are dating dating when we meet them for dinner later, but maybe I should hold off. I just need to get through the faculty thing. If there are no issues there, I think everything will be okay.”
She hoped so. Ever since Kane had asked her to accompany him to the event, her stomach had been in knots. Her argument with Audie had resurfaced to dominate her thoughts, which was just stupid because she knew Kane. She knew what they’d shared over the last few weeks. Every time he’d taken control, every time she’d surrendered, he’d made it worth it, with tenderness and care and trust. Everything was going right with them, and she held the security of that close to her heart.
Vanessa stood, flipped through the swath of dresses hanging on the rack. “Try this one,” she said, handing Nadia a hunter green silk sheath with an overlay of beaded black mesh adding sparkle to the top layer.
“Are you sure about this?” Nadia asked, holding up the dress.
“Trust me,” Vanessa said, pushing her into the dressing room. “I’ve got a certain eye for these things. It’s why you called me, isn’t it?”
Nadia entered a dressing room to change, hoping that this dress would do the trick. She was tired of the stress of finding the right dress, of worrying about being the right date for Kane, of presenting the right face to the world. She was tired of worrying about Audie, about Siobhan, and Vanessa, whose serene smiles hid an inner turmoil. She was tired of the stress of feeling guilty that her relationship with Kane was going as well as it was even as she waited for the other shoe to drop, whatever the hell that meant.
She smoothed the knee-skimming skirt down, then took a look at herself in the mirror. “Vanessa, you are a genius!”
Her friend laughed in obvious delight. “Come on out so we can prove it to Siobhan.”
She opened the dressing room door then stepped out, walking toward the three-way mirror. “Vanessa, you’re good,” Siobhan said as she and Vanessa circled Nadia. “That’s the perfect dress for her.”
Nadia had to agree. The deep green color complemented her skin tone and deepened the color of her eyes. The dress itself hugged her breasts and created a smooth flat line from her ribs to her knees, emphasizing the length of her legs. The cut and color suited her dramatic, fun-and-flirty side while giving her an air of class and sophistication she hadn’t been sure she possessed.
Nadia threw her arms around Vanessa. “Thank you, it’s perfect! I owe you big-time!”
“You’re welcome,” the other woman said with a smile. “I can come over and do your hair and makeup for you too, if you like. You need a burgundy lip to bring out that sexy pout, and we’ll make your eyes dark and mysterious without looking like you’re auditioning for a drag show. Some emerald studs are all you’ll need to go with it. Oh and sexy lingerie. Lingerie always gives me that extra bit of confidence I need.”
“We’ll make a party out of it,” Siobhan suggested. “Make sure you don’t have any last-minute jitters.”
Nadia was sure she’d have them regardless, but appreciated the gesture. “Thanks. You guys are the best friends ever!” She sobered. “I wish Audie was here.”
An uncomfortable silence fell. Nadia hadn’t heard from Audie in several weeks, and it bothered her. All she’d gotten in response to her repeated texts and phone calls was an apologetic text and assurances that Audie would be fine and that she was getting help.
“Nadia.” Siobhan patted her shoulder. “Audie’s getting help. She’ll be back when she can.”
“I hope so.” Though Audie’s problems weren’t fueled by drugs or alcohol, she did have an addictive personality. Nadia just hoped that Audie would take the help to heart and come back to them soon.
A week later, Nadia was primped, waxed, trimmed, and coifed to within an inch of her life. She’d even indulged in a manicure. At the very least she knew she wouldn’t be a visual detriment to Kane. She just wasn’t sure about the rest.
Wanting to make a decent impression on Kane’s behalf, she tapped into that part of her she’d hoped she wouldn’t have to visit again, the part of her that had pretended she was an LA party girl. That version of herself had known how to lie to her producers as she insisted she was fine, had known how to smile at those she’d rather slap, to talk to those she’d rather avoid. If she could channel enough of the reality star Nadia and pretend the other guests were Los Angeles people, she would be able to make it through.
With that in mind, she was able to open her door and greet Kane with a smile. He wasn’t wearing his glasses, leaving his eyes clear. He wore a black power suit with a crisp white dress shirt that provided the background for a bright red tie patterned with gold embroidered cranes and medallions. She knew without asking that it was a lucky tie. “Well hello, you gorgeous, sexy professor man you.”
“Hello yourself.” He took her hand, and she spun in a slow circle for him. She’d leaned on her girls for help for the evening, and her friends had come through in spades, helping her with her hair and makeup, finding the perfect accessories to match the dress she’d bought the week before. A black velvet wrap, a beaded clutch purse, and black strappy stilettos completed the look.
“You’re beautiful,” he murmured, appreciation lighting his eyes. “I’m the luckiest man in Crimson Bay tonight.”
“Kaname,” she whispered, need welling inside her.
“Are you wearing panties?”
She nodded, her mouth suddenly dry. “A thong.”
“Is it like the one from our first date, with a special surprise inside?”
“Ah.” Her lips parted. God, she should have thought of that. It would have been a perfect distraction for both of them. “Unfortunately, no.”
“Take them off.”
She stared
at him, trying to decide if he was serious or not. From the gleam in his eyes, he seemed extremely serious. “If you want them off, you’ll have to help me,” she told him. “I don’t want to break my neck trying to pull them off over my shoes.”
“We definitely don’t want that,” he said, guiding her over to the barstools at the kitchen counter, then kneeling at her feet. “Lift your skirt, sweetheart.”
She complied, putting on a show with a slow teasing glide up her thighs. He reached up, hooking his fingers in the straps of her burgundy lace thong, then pulled it down her thighs, past her knees to her ankles.
He stopped, staring at her mound for a charged moment, then stared up at her, dark eyes blazing. “You shaved.”
“Special occasions call for special measures.”
“I think your special measure is entirely appropriate.” He reached into his jacket pocket, extracted a gleaming piece of gold. “This is the second part of that present I gave you two weeks ago.”
He held it up, and she noticed a gold clip with a red jewel dangling from the center. Two other gold chains with red gems dangled below it.
Nadia found it difficult to draw enough air to speak. “Is that what I think it is?”
“If you think it’s clitoral jewelry, then yes, it is what you think it is.” He leaned forward, his thumb stroking over her outer lips. Her body heated as her blood rose, swelling the bundle of nerves at the center of her pleasure. A gasp tore from her throat as his tongue stroked over the sensitized flesh, spiking her desire with a bolt of sensual electricity.
“Kaname!”
He brushed his thumb over her again, then slid the clip over her now-distended clitoris. She immediately felt the slight pressure of it framing her clit, but what was worse—or so much better—was the way the crystals bumped over her tingling flesh with every movement. She’d be in a perpetual state of horniness the entire night.
Heat burned her ears, swept down her throat to her nipples then on to the object of ornamentation. “Kane,” she protested, “I can’t go to your party wearing this and no panties!”
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