Summoning every ounce of convincing tone he could muster, JT answered, “No, I don’t believe she has the slightest clue. And right now would be a bad time to confess it to her, don’t you think? Aw, bloody hell, Rafe…” His voice faded to a hoarse whisper and he swiped his overgrown bangs back from his forehead, shifting his gaze to his feet crisscrossed in front of him on the bed.
Rafe’s brows rose and disappeared under the shaggy curls hanging over his face. “And you’ve never…I mean the two of you haven’t…”
JT gave his most convincing, sincere stare, the one that never failed to get the butterflies fluttering in a chosen female fan’s stomach (he knew what that look did to every one of them, it shone so clearly in each beautiful face he’d beamed it at). “Don’t I wish. No, we haven’t.” It wasn’t a lie; neither of them had said exactly what they were talking about. “I did kiss her, though. On that first night after the gig in Albuquerque.”
JT ducked his head to mask a grin; even now, the memory of the very first time his lips brushed hers brought a sappy lovesick smile to his face. “I was certain I’d stuffed my romantic notions into a jar and buried them with my heart. But she proved me wrong, Rafe, she really did. All I’d done was tuck them away to save them for her.” And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the unvarnished truth.
“Damn,” Rafe mumbled, “you’ve really got it bad for her, don’t you? You’d best keep your distance, then. You’re head over heels, and she’s way too vulnerable right now.”
JT fished a cigarette from the pack on the headboard of the bed and lit it with the lighter he’d snagged from Korina earlier in the day. He exhaled the smoke heavily into the still air of the tiny room and sat back against the pillows wedged behind him. “Tell me about it,” he muttered ruefully. “Just fucking tell me about it.”
JT reclined into the pillows, thinking and chain-smoking far too many cigarettes. Rafe had returned to the main section of the bus and to his book when everything that could be said had been and JT had fallen silent again.
I wonder if he bought it. It was all true, I just left some out. The trickiest part was telling Rafe that I didn’t think she had the slightest clue. On one level, I suppose that’s not accurate, she knows I love her. On the deepest level, though, I don’t think she realizes just how gone I am. That every stupid sappy cliché is me in spades. And honestly, there aren’t words enough to tell her. I suppose I could write sweet puerile ballads the band would refuse to record. I could take her in my arms and try to show her with every fiber of my being and every shred of my soul until I was an exhausted heap lying next to her on the bed, and I still think it would only scratch the surface.
No, the only way would be to open up my heart and mind to her when she’s able to take it and let her feel it through me. And that isn’t now.
And while it was twisted truth to say that I kissed her, implying just the once, it wasn’t an outright lie. That night did only have one real kiss. The one I imagined and watched her respond to doesn’t count. And she stopped me before I could take it any further.
He lit another cigarette and rubbed his thumb absently over the plastic case of the lighter where her fingers had touched it only hours before. It was still a little oily from the lotion she used on her hands. He dropped his chin a bit as he brought the lighter to his nose and inhaled deeply. The faded scent triggered a twitch in his groin. Shit and hell! Not now…
He focused on the swirling stream of smoke drifting from the business end of his cigarette, watching it mingle and join with the gray cloud hanging low in the small room. I want to climb up on the stage, or onto the highest rooftop, and yell out loud that I’ve finally found my heart and my happiness. And it’s making me miserable that I can’t. Isn’t that stupid? Finding happiness gets me miserable. Jesus Christ on a fucking bicycle, I’m such an asshole.
His hand drifted lower to strum lightly over his zipper. The twinge had developed into a full blown erection. Oh, lovely.
And here I sit, throbbing and aching, convincing myself that I’m an honest man. Yeah. Right. An honest man who’s in love with another man’s wife.
Fucking bloody hell.
Sixteen
Korina opened her laptop, staring out the window while the computer booted up. Damn, I should have interrupted the virus scan since I haven’t had it on-line in days. Stupid program takes for-friggin-ever to check every file. She sighed and resigned herself to waiting. She hated waiting. And so far, this whole tourbus jaunt was a new adventure in patience.
Exercise. That’s what I need. To move and stretch, to run, swim, anything but this endless sitting around. I never thought I’d miss being on my feet eight or nine hours a day, but I can feel my whole body starting to get soft. I wonder if the next hotel has a fitness room I can use?
She glanced at her screen; the virus scan was ninety percent complete. About another half a minute, she thought, and I can finally be in business here. Nobody needs me right now, anyway.
Mark’s still sleeping. I’m amazed that he continues to appear healthy. Well, mostly healthy anyway. But he needs more and more rest to keep up with everyone. The systemic atrophy is starting to take its toll. So far he hasn’t complained about anything hurting, but that’s his way.
Zach has settled into his PS2 again, and Rafe’s back to reading his book. I wonder what he and JT were talking about back there? Whatever it was, it must have put JT in a mood to stay in that tiny room with the door closed. And to make Rafe give me the strange look that he did. I can’t lay a finger on just what he meant by it, or if I should have read anything into it at all. It felt like I was being….appraised. Measured and valued, like a piece up for auction. Very weird. But I’m not going to go back there and ask JT. I think I can trust myself, but he’s alone, there’s a closable door, and I don’t think he’ll keep his thoughts, or those eyes, to himself. Damn that man.
The virus scan was done, and she opened the word processing program file containing ‘A Promise Kept.’ I can’t stay away from these characters. There’s just something about them that won’t let me put this story on a shelf. As was her habit before adding to an existing story, she re-read the last few pages to orient her mindset and get back into the tone of the writing.
Big mistake, Kori. Huge. This is nothing but sex on wheels, and that’s the last thing you need to be thinking about right now. She sighed, realizing she would be unable to play make-believe today. She stifled a yawn with her loosely fisted hand. Maybe a nap might help me to stop feeling so flighty. And it’s not like there’s anything else to do.
Korina shut down her computer and put it back in the black leather softcase and tucked it under the bench seat at the table. She leaned toward Zach and laid a gentle hand on his shoulder to get his attention. “I’m going to lay down and take a nap, honey. Wake me up if you need anything, okay?”
Zach glanced up at her, then back to his tiny screen. “Okay. Happy dreams, Mom.”
She smiled and brushed a soft kiss on his temple. “Thanks, sweetie.” She shook her head as she rose. Saying the ‘happy dreams’ line was their ritual before Zach went to sleep each night, and now he was telling it to her. I know it worked more nights than not for him, he’s had very few nightmares. I hope it works on me. I could use a happy dream or two.
Korina settled into the bunk, not knowing if sleep would come, but hoping it would. She didn’t normally need more than five or six hours, but recently her sleep had been disturbed and her dreams disturbing. She attributed it to the narrow bunks that didn’t allow enough room to lay sprawled out, and to the unusually firm mattresses in the hotels. And then there’s Zach’s kicking feet and blanket hogging. It’s hard to stay asleep when I’m being beaten from the knees down.
She rolled to her stomach and wrapped her arms around the pillow. She let her mind drift and closed her eyes. Even if I don’t fall asleep, I’m at least comfortable and relaxed. That’s always a plus, and I’ll take laying over sitting any day. The hypnotic drone of the bus’
s engine washed over her, carrying her thoughts and her consciousness further away, and she dozed.
JT lay on the bed wishing there was a lock on the thin door. He hadn’t had to resort to self-relief in days, but for some reason today was different, and the arousal he felt wouldn’t go away. His mind was filled with thoughts of Korina; her smile, her laugh, her skin, her touch, her sighs. He didn’t know if the erection was the cause or the result of his mind wandering where it would, but the result was the same. And he was stuck in here until he wouldn’t embarrass himself by merely walking out into the main room. Dammit, I wish you were in here with me right now.
He lowered the zipper on his jeans and let the random thoughts of her take him where they would.
Soft lips drew a heated trail over her body. Moaning and impatient, she rolled her hips up off the mattress. He smiled against her skin and teased his way lower, pausing when he reached the trimmed curls above her smoothly shaven center. His nostrils dragged in her scent, musky and sweet, before inching lower still and taunting her with tiny nips and light brushes with the tip of his tongue.
Her fingers fisted in his hair, obviously trying to pull him closer. He was not to be budged and he nipped at her again. “More, JT, please,” she whispered.
“Mmn-mnn,” he murmured into her, his low voice rumbling to tickle deep inside. “Oh, no, Kori. I just needed a little taste of you on my tongue before I make you mine again.” He allowed a single thrust of his tongue inside, drawing a gasp from her lips swollen from his kisses, before dragging himself away and up her body again.
“I have to be inside of you,” he murmured into her ear. She felt the head of his arousal teasing at her entrance.
JT was lost in his vision of her; beads of sweat stood out on his brow and ran rivulets into his hair as he sank further into the pile of pillows. His hand on his cock worked slowly, teasing, wanting to make it last. Ah, God, it’s like she’s really here, or I’m really there…I need you, love…I’ve missed you so…
As he slowly sank into her velvety depths, he breathed into her ear once more. “I need you, love…I’ve missed you so.”
She whimpered as he filled her and began raining soft kisses and nibbles along the sensitive curve of her neck. He stilled as she shivered, needing more but wanting to draw it out, make it last. But it had been so long since he’d touched her this way…
His hand stilled. He wanted to drag it out, so real was the feel of her around him, inside of his thoughts. He had a fleeting image of her, eyes closed and nearby, but dismissed it, not wanting to be distracted. She was in the main room doing algebra, and he was here, alone with his imagination. He squeezed himself a little tighter and inched his hand over his length slowly, savoring the sensation and the images flooding his mind.
She met each tantalizing thrust, aching for more but knowing this was a long time in coming, and it would be a long time before it could happen again. Let time worry about itself. No hurry, not now…
She moaned when he found that one spot deep inside that made her toes curl and her eyes roll back in her head, and squeezed around him without thought.
He smiled, wanting to hold out a bit longer and make her beg him to stop. Her reactions urged him on with a heady rush of power.
–Only with you, love…I’ve never had a woman as free and responsive as you are…you inspire me to please you more, to see how much you can take…
Korina awoke with a jolt. Had someone (JT) just whispered in her ear? She felt languid and yet sleepy, oddly sated and aroused both at once. What was going on, and why did she feel like she was still caught in a dream?
She felt her inner muscles clench as a powerful climax ripped through her, catching her unaware and off guard. (that’s it, come for me baby…) Instinctively, she tightened her jaw and bit back the scream.
JT closed his hand tighter around himself and dragged his fist a little faster over the rigid flesh, finally seeking his own release. He surrendered to his imagination as more images of her tight body under his poured through his mind. I feel so powerful when I’m with you. But only with you, love. I’ve never had a woman as free and responsive as you are. You inspire me to please you more, to see how much you can take.
He relaxed his grip just a fraction, then pressed his fingers in tightly again, pretending to feel her pulse around him as she tumbled over the edge into ecstasy. That’s it, come for me baby…
The alternating pressure and the vivid images of her flushed face, gasping and holding in her cry of release, brought JT at last the relief he craved. With a shudder and a groan, he spilled over his hand and onto his shirt, then fell slack against the pillows, his breathing shallow and rapid as his heart thundered in his chest. I love you, baby. And I miss you so much.
“I love you, baby. And I miss you so much.”
She heard him whisper again as she felt the grip of the dream finally let her go. Somehow, I don’t think that was just a dream. Wait, I’m in the last bunk before his little bedroom, aren’t I? Oh, fuck…
Korina lay motionless and silent in the narrow bed, waiting for her quickened breathing to slow and wishing there was enough room in the cramped quarters to change her underwear. She also wished she had a fresh pair handy. The ones she was wearing were suddenly damp and uncomfortable.
A large part of her wanted to spring from the bunk, march through his door and demand to know what the hell he thought he was doing. Another part, equally large, wondered if he was even aware of what he’d just done.
And what if he didn’t know? If she stormed in proclaiming he’d invaded her mind and her privacy, and he hadn’t known he’d done it, what then? He’d certainly find out, that’s what. Was this new connection something she wanted him to know he could do? Damned if I do and damned if I don’t.
If the heated mental movie he sent to her had been deliberate, then to be cautious would be the bigger mistake, as he might wonder if he’d gotten through and become even more broad and blatant in an effort to get some sort of response. Confronting him was her only real option. Then he’d know she was aware of what he’d done, and would be less likely to attack her with his twisted brain teaser, or at least be more careful about who was nearby when he did.
If he hadn’t known he’d made that intimate connection once again, berating him for it still wouldn’t be counterproductive. Before things got completely out of hand he needed to know what he was capable of. It could be extremely embarrassing if he were to start unwittingly channeling his fantasies to her at the wrong time or in front of the wrong people. And the wrong people would be anyone whatsoever. On the other hand, when I’m alone… Stop it, girl, just stop it right there. This isn’t something he should even be able to do. Don’t start hoping for him to do it again. Nonetheless, she found herself wondering what visions he might show her if he knew he had a private audience of one. Would they be different from the images he used to amuse only himself? She sighed. The hazards of being a living satellite dish.
Deciding that the longer she waited the more uncomfortable this would be to confront, she swung her legs over the side of the bunk and sat up, then brushed aside the privacy curtain and silently stepped out. She heard Mark snoring softly in the cubicle adjacent to hers, and one glance toward the main room told her that nothing had changed there either.
She pivoted in her stocking feet toward the closed door and, taking a deep breath, strode into JT’s room appearing far more confident than she felt. She hadn’t bothered to knock; she wanted to catch him off guard.
What she saw, however, was completely unexpected. Her cheeks flamed furiously when she realized what he was doing, and she suddenly felt a little too bold.
JT was laying back in the soft nest of pillows grumbling to himself and wiping ineffectively at the front of his wrecked shirt with a handful of tissues. She noticed his zipper was undone, but his angled posture revealed nothing of what lay beneath it. He glanced up at the sound of her entrance, his eyes registering mild surprise.
�
�I guess I - I’m sorry, I should have knocked first,” she stammered, unable to stop watching his hands in their useless effort to render the shirt still wearable.
A slow smile crept over his face as he observed where she was staring. “Nice to know I can still make you blush, love.”
She dragged her eyes further upward and took in the smug look on his face. Did he know? Was it deliberate? Or is this an attempt to cover what he’s cleaning up? Not that I can claim innocence now myself. My stupid red face gave away that I know what it is he’s trying to wipe from his shirt. I wouldn’t be blushing if I thought it was Diet Coke. Well, I’m already uncomfortable, I might as well make it worse.
“It seems you can make me do lots of things, JT.” Korina closed the door quietly, risking being alone with him so that no one else would hear what she had to say.
JT looked back down at the lower portion of the front of his shirt. “Aw, fuck it,” he mumbled before throwing the wad of tissues into the corner trash can. Louder, he said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Kori.” He leaned forward enough to peel off the t-shirt, then dropped it over the edge of the bed to the floor.
He looked back at Korina, allowing his eyes to roam up her body before meeting her gaze once more. He raised one eyebrow as he threatened, “If I could make you do something, my stubborn sweetheart, I’d sit you down and force-feed you.”
Korina shifted her view away from the challenge on his face. And from the intense green eyes that still made her stomach flip. Is that going to happen every time he looks at me? You’d think I’d be past that by now. She wrapped her arms around her waist and stared at the wall to her right, the one separating her bunk from this room. She was already feeling uneasy and emotionally naked from the shattering release he’d sent her, and now he sat before her shirtless and with his pants still undone, heating her with a stare that tugged at her resolve. Her legs itched to take those last two steps to the foot of the bed. She allowed one heel to bounce in agitation but stayed rooted in place by sheer force of will.
Dream Me Off My Feet (Sex, Love, And Rock & Roll) Page 32
