–Oh, God, love, how I really need you…but this is all I can have…
His need infusing her, Kori felt his touch grow stronger and more insistent as his fingers trailed fire over her chest, then up her throat to cradle her jaw with infinite care. Against her will, her eyes drifted closed while his lips brushed feather-light on hers. He kisses like no man on Earth should be able to… She longed to pull him deeper, to bury her hands in the soft tangle of his hair. She was helpless to do anything but experience his tender marauding of her body and mind.
She shifted on the narrow bunk, his weight crushing, branding her body with his heat. She felt his stony arousal dig into her thigh. Without thought her hand wandered down to feel the size of him in her palm. She found only her own skin, but felt his reaction anyway, so strong was the connection he’d forged into her mind.
–Ah Christ, woman! Squeeze me tighter… I crave your touch…
Her hand fisted in the empty air; he was attuned to her every movement and felt the warm fingers close around him. His soft groan rumbled through her as she felt his lips press into the curve of her shoulder. Strong teeth nipped lightly at her skin, followed by gentle, soothing strokes of his tongue. She cried out softly, desire tingling every nerve ending. Dear God.
A tiny voice of reason spoke from its sequestered corner of her mind… But dammit, he shouldn’t be doing this at all…
She told it to go screw off and the resistance to his loving her with only his thoughts drifted away.
JT quashed another impulse to relieve his throbbing cock, finally sitting on his hands, and concentrated once again on his memories of her soft curves, wanting to touch her everywhere all at once. I know the landscape of your skin just as well as I know my own, love. I feel as if you’ve been part of me my entire life…
Kori gasped. All her own thoughts dissolved under his relentless attack. Unseen fingertips dragged slowly up her thighs, swirled over the soft skin of her shoulders, trailed lightly down her arms. It feels as if I’m surrounded by hands. And lips. Oh good God, so many…
His lips brushed lightly over hers, while at the same time, another, yet still somehow his, mouth kissed her deeply. Even more soft lips tickled their way down her neck to nip at the sensitive sweep of her shoulder, sending thrills rippling down to her toes. Palms smoothed up the sides of her ribs while his mouth quested lower over her belly to tease around her naval. More gentle fingertips slid up her calves while yet more lips nibbled deliciously over the softness of her inner thigh. Hands steadied her hips, the fingers lightly kneading the firm flesh of her behind, his teasing tongue dancing along the flare of her pelvis.
His fingers tangled in her long curls, dragging her deeper into his drugging kiss, while still another pair of lips murmured tenderly over hers. She heard him clearly as he whispered into her mind. “Forever.”
Another light brush. “You’re my dream.”
A gentle tug. “My wish. My fantasy.”
Sliding soft as a sigh. “My heart and my world.”
Still teasing over her mouth. “I love you.”
Grazing easily again. “I need you. No one but you. Now and always, Kori.”
She was lost in a paradise of sensation and desire. Everything he’d ever done to taunt her and inflame her he did again now, but this time all at once.
His thoughts became hands, lips, fingers, roaming the contours of her body, making her tremble. Her will unraveled as myriad invisible lovers touched and tasted. What is he doing to me? And how…? She retained enough of her wits to bite back a moan as the tongue near her belly button swirled lower, seeking her core.
Gently tugging teeth on the tight peaks of her breasts had her writhing on the narrow bed, her fists grappling with the sheets as she felt a tentative tongue lap lightly over the sensitive pearl hidden deep within. His groan shuddered through her to mix with hers.
I can taste her. I don’t know how, but I can. So sweet, you are, my love…
JT bit his lip and drew his tongue across it, taking in more of the flavor of her that wasn’t there. His heart clenched, knowing she really was out of reach, but in his embrace nonetheless. God, how I’ve missed you…
–God, how I’ve missed you…
The anguish was as plain as if he’d spoken the words with the voice she so loved to hear. Still feeling his hands roaming her skin, his lips caressing every curve, and then something more.
She hadn’t moved from her back, one ankle still only inches from its mate. But she felt her knees being nudged apart though they stayed still, sensed the welcome weight and perspiration as his body settled over hers. There was no mistaking the heated arousal that ground into her.
–Bloody hell, Kori, I need to feel you…want to bury myself in you…dammit…
She gasped as, with one swift movement, he filled her, then stilled. Slowly, one by one, the questing hands disappeared. The teasing, hungry lips evaporated, leaving only the one mouth that still whispered words of love and passion against her lips.
“I need you,” he murmured as he slowly ground into her.
“Desperately.” And withdrew just as languorously.
“Oh, God, love.” His voice grew huskier as he gently sank into her once again. She squirmed on the narrow mattress.
He sensed her yearning, feeling very much the same himself, and withdrew, only to thrust quickly back inside. Kori whimpered and shifted her hips. JT smiled and began a steady rhythm, needing to end both of their frustration. He felt his own release building; she clenched tightly around him and shuddered, wrapping the edges of the pillow over her face to stifle the moan she couldn’t contain. JT groaned in his own ecstasy, finally finding the shattering relief in her he’d craved for too long.
Kori opened her eyes at last, feeling loved and fulfilled and alone.
JT shook his head slowly, the connection broken. He unknit his brows and eased open his eyes. The room was almost completely dark, but he could still make out the outline of his own hand fisted tightly over his flagging arousal. I don’t remember pulling my hand out from underneath my ass, but I guess I must have. He shifted his hips and tugged his other hand free to fetch some tissues to wipe his fingers clean.
She drifted back to a light doze, a tiny contented smile on her face.
JT snugged the waistband of his sweatpants back into place and rose from the bed, unwilling to stay in such a vast, lonely place. His arms ached with their emptiness. Not enough, not enough. But it’s all I can have. He stepped quietly into the closet-sized bathroom near the bunks, needing to wash the perspiration from his face and brush his sweaty hair.
Eighteen
Her peace and contentment was short-lived. She didn’t say anything to JT after that first encounter, but when he lauched a full-scale invasion, she had to draw the line. Every time she closed her eyes he was there. Sometimes more than once in the same night.
Constant yawns and dirty looks had done nothing to curb him. The more often she tried to nap, the more it seemed he took it as an opportunity to assault her senses. She was getting very little rest and feeling quite snappish when she finally managed to get him alone.
She’d once again begged off spending time watching a video with her son and shuffled down the quasi-hallway to her bunk. She didn’t plan to fall asleep this time. Instead, she waited quietly with the curtain drawn closed. She heard JT steal down to his bedroom and shut the door. Before he could make a move to brush her mind, Kori rose and followed him in, closing the door behind her.
He glanced up from stacking the bedpillows into a backrest.
Kori crossed her arms and glared at him. “Don’t bother getting comfy with the pillows,” she said plainly. “I have no intention of even trying to sleep. Not that you were going let me, anyway.”
JT didn’t say a word. Kori gave him some credit for having the grace to look down at the floor before drawing his eyes back up to hers. Two faint pink splotches stained his cheekbones through his autumn-faded suntan. Is that embarrassment or sha
me? Not that it matters. It has to stop, whether he’s sorry or not.
Before he could utter an apology she wasn’t sure he’d mean, she continued. “Just stop it, JT. Please, no more.”
She closed her eyes and pulled in a deep lungful of air. “You’re wearing me out.” She pierced his eyes with hers. “Did you need to hear that before you’d quit? I’m completely done in, and, to be quite honest, you’re not welcome to come into my mind whenever you please. I don’t even like you very much right now, JT. So just stay out of my head and let me sleep.”
Tears of exhaustion and frustration stung in her eyes. She turned and walked out, hoping he hadn’t seen the them.
Her nap wasn’t interrupted that afternoon. Mark’s restless sleep that night kept her awake, and she finally gave up on sleep when the sun began to brighten the maroon privacy curtain of her berth. She was tired, but not too worried; after her lecture to JT, she expected to take a quiet, undisturbed nap every afternoon and begin catching up on her rest.
She couldn’t have been more mistaken.
As the next two weeks unfolded, JT got more invasive, more intrusive, more often. Sometimes, when she met his glance or brushed his hand as they walked past each other, she was stunned into momentary paralysis by the images that poured from his mind into hers. And, as time passed, she began having doubts that he was sending them deliberately. He was just thinking in that loud manner of passionate people, and the deep-seated connection they shared channeled those mental movies into her. Whether it was due to proximity or even the slightest physical contact, she didn’t care. The why didn’t matter. What did was that they came, unbidden and unwanted. And unstoppable.
As further proof, JT didn’t act contrite in the least. He’d gone so far as to express concern that she was looking tired. She simply snorted and gave him a dirty look, then walked away. She desperately wanted to say something to him, but to what purpose? The man was allowed to think what he pleased. It really wasn’t his fault he’d never learned to turn down the wattage and keep them contained.
****
She found herself looking forward to the long Thanksgiving weekend when no shows were scheduled. Normally not a fan of holidays dedicated to gluttony, this was one year that Thanksgiving really appealed. She wasn’t sure if they were going to head for home for a few days, or stay with the band over the four-day break. It was still two weeks away, so they had time to decide. If I live that long, at this rate. Bad choice of words, Kori. Even in your thoughts, you have no tact.
The long stopover was in Cincinnati. Kori wished it was in Cleveland, instead, so they could take a wander through the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, but the band had already played there during the summer concert season. She thought about renting a car and making the five-hour drive.
But Lake Erie, with its strange lake-effect snow belt, could get them stranded. She knew. She’d grown up in Cleveland, and had seen her share of snows there as early as October. Sometimes an otherwise great Halloween costume was wrecked by wearing heavy boots and a winter coat. She sighed, still tempted by the prospect of seeing her old teenage stomping grounds, wondering how it may have changed with time. And at the thought of getting far away from JT and his intrusive thoughts.
****
Kori pondered the last two weeks as she packed for Cleveland. Her sleep had been constantly broken by either JT’s images or Mark’s groaning, and she was ready to run screaming into the woods and not look back every time they stopped for fuel.
And she’d take Zach with her; that is, if she could drag him away from his video games. He hadn’t complained yet that he was tired, or that his sleep was interrupted, but the dark smudges under his eyes belied his silence.
He was getting his classwork done at an astonishing pace. The one-on-one tutoring had his intellect blossoming and he exhibited more confidence in his knowledge than ever before.
And undoubtedly, he was also getting a first-hand curriculum on life on the road with a popular rock band. This included sub-courses in creative swearing, British slang, how to run around an empty echoey concert arena, and Checking In and Out of Hotels 101.
She sighed, remembering that he was now an expert at getting precisely what he wanted from room service, too. What an education for an eleven-year-old to have.
But the hardest lesson was yet to come. She was thankful that his recent learning included how to relate to adult-sized manboys, as they would be a big part of his support system when the time finally came to teach the most painful lesson of living: how to let go.
The time to tell Zach was fast approaching. Mark was pale and swollen and he slept so much now. It had to be obvious that something was very wrong, even to a child. Especially to this one, who’d spent far more time with his at-home dad than most children could ever wish for. Kori had watched him watching Mark when neither one was aware, and saw the questions and concern on his young face. But still he asked nothing.
Well, once we’re settled in to our new hotel room tomorrow, we have to rock his little world. Dammit.
****
In an odd sort of way, JT was looking forward to actually missing Kori. He longed for her enough with her being so near yet still too far away. He’d much rather miss her and not have to look at her all the while.
Strangest relationship I’ve ever had. Not weird, but so different on so many levels. Mark told me they’re planning to come clean with their son this weekend. Maybe that’s why she’s ignoring me, why she’s been so sleepless. That’s got to be so damn hard. I don’t know if I could do it if it were me. All I can do is be here for the fallout and try to be half the father Mark was (is, dammit, he still is here!). I don’t know anything about being a dad. I know how to spoil other people’s kids and then give them back. Once we get settled into my house in England, I guess I’ll get a crash course.
Not that she’s said they’d move there. Hell, I haven’t even brought it up yet. But she will be there, I’m certain of it. We couldn’t possibly live apart.
****
Kori was fighting the mild irritation that coursed through her overtired brain as she drove the surprisingly empty freeway north toward the city once referred to as ‘The Mistake on the Lake.’ Since the Hall of Fame opened, nobody called it that any more. Cleveland had earned a grudging respect.
She was relieved that on this Thanksgiving day the traffic was light. Most people had done their long-distance traveling the day before. She was distracted and tired, and distinctly irritated by driving a car rented under the band’s name instead of her own. The rental contract was actually in Stuart’s name, but still, the distinction rankled. I feel like I’m being swallowed up by this group, and I don’t like it. They may enjoy being ‘the merry men’ but there’s no Robin Hood among them, and I’m sure as hell not Maid Marion. I don’t know if I’m willing to give up my individuality to stay with them. Or that I’m willing to let them keep paying for everything. We’ve always managed to pay our own way, no matter what it took to scrape and save to do it, and it just rubs me the wrong way. I’m surprised they let me drive instead of sending us with a car and driver. I guess I should be grateful for the small favors. At least I haven’t been subjected to a nonstop “Are we there yet?” from the back seat. Apparently the time on tour has taught Zach something else, as well. Patience.
As the farming fields, gone dead for the season, whizzed by the windows, she thought back on the conversation that caused the lingering irritation.
“Stuart, I know how to rent a car by telephone. You don’t have to do it for me. Lord knows, you have enough to do with these oversized boys to look after.”
“Look, m’dear, I know that you can. And truly, if it were up to me, I’d let you do it yourself. But it’s part of my responsibilities as the tour manager. It’s in both your contract and mine. This way, if anything happens to either the car or any of you while you’re in it, it becomes band business, is handled by the lads’ attorneys, and stays quiet. It’s all for the sake of not having any
bad publicity.”
She sighed. Was everything she did now band business? She hadn’t quite realized the ramifications of that particular clause when she signed the contract. “And I suppose that our hotel reservations…”
“Have been changed to reflect Slanker Knox business. You can check in under your own names, don’t worry about that, but Slanker Knox Touring Inc. pays that bill, too.” He winked at her and flashed a genuine smile. “But don’t think we don’t appreciate that you picked a mid-priced hotel room. I’m always glad to pinch a penny. These boys have gotten quite used to having expensive taste.”
“All right, Stuart. But I do this under protest. I’m beginning to feel like property of the band, as owned as the guitars and the wardrobe trunks. And I don’t like it. I think JT and I need to talk about this when we get back. He employs me. He doesn’t own me. But that’s just between you and me right now, okay? I don’t want him to have four days to think up a string of excuses.”
“No problem there, Kori. I am, as always, the confidant and the soul of discretion.”
****
Zach had been quiet since they had piled out of the rental less than an hour earlier. He stared with unfocused eyes at the cartoon playing on the television. Mark was showering off the sticky film of perspiration after his nap in the car.
Kori was watching her son and flipping the television remote end over end in her fingers. They still hadn’t decided how to tell Zach, or even how to start. The only certainty was that whatever they said would have as little detail as necessary, and that it would be the truth.
Zach looked up from where he wasn’t really watching the television and caught his mother staring at him. “Mommy,” he said evenly, “Why is Daddy always in a black cloud of little bugs?”
Her fingers, one moment (a lifetime) ago nervous, suddenly stilled; the remote dropped to the floor.
Dream Me Off My Feet (Sex, Love, And Rock & Roll) Page 36
