by Bella Bennet
Harry shook his head. “Oh no. We’re not shelving this. We’re ending this discussion. I’m pregnant. There is no way in hell I am packing and moving while pregnant to an apartment you’ve barely lived in .”
Alex ground his teeth. Harry had a good point though. It wasn’t a good time to be moving. He sure hadn’t expected Harry to get pregnant so quickly. Actually he hadn’t expected Harry to get pregnant at all. This was a big surprise. He sighed .
He looked around while thinking. Harry had lived here seven years. That’s a long time. Plus Harry loved this house, and it fitted him perfectly. It just didn’t fit Alex though. He didn’t know what to do, but he knew better than to pick up this discussion when Harry’s back was straight and stiff. Harry was not one omega to be pushed around .
“Ok. I’m sorry. It was a dumb idea to move while you’re pregnant .”
Harry was still frowning. “While I’m pregnant? As in you’re planning a move after I’m not ?”
Oh boy. Of course Harry would pick up on that, he was an English teacher. He studied words like others studied lottery numbers. “I just think we should keep our options open. You have one room for an office, one room for the baby’s, and the last is your bedroom. What if you have twins?” He was reaching and by the squint of Harry’s eyes, he knew it too .
“Just what are you getting at here?” Alex took a deep breath. What was he getting at? Alex looked around again. All he saw was a house that was an extension of Harry. If he truly loved Harry, he’d love this house. “I love you, and I love the house that fits you perfectly.” Harry looked mollified at that, but was still wary. “But I don’t see me fitting in here. I’m not old oak, bookshelves, Tiffany glass lamps.” He sat looking at Harry, waiting for him to say something. Harry was staring at Alex like he didn’t know whether to kill him, beat him over the head or throw up his hands .
“I have no idea what kind of alpha you think you are. But you are not an alpha that's going to come into my life and try to run it. Or run me from my own home. Fuck you. Get out .”
Alex flinched back. “ Look — "
Harry pointed out of the kitchen. “No. You look. If you can’t handle living with me, in my house, then get out. There’s a word called compromise. You can put your touches in here, we can rearrange things, you can redo a room to be your little lab or whatever you need. But you didn’t even think of that. You immediately thought of putting me in your life at your whim. That’s not thinking of me as a person, as an omega you cherish. That’s thinking of me as an object. A seahorse just giving birth to your spawn .”
Alex flinched as if Harry had physically attacked him. He supposed he deserved that. “I can buy us a bigger house. I have money. Let me use it .”
Harry’s mouth dropped open. “Are you now saying I’m poor?” Harry screeched that last part. Alex was worried that maybe he had gone too far. Harry stood up. “Get. The. Fuck. Out.” So that would be a yes, he had gone too far .
Alex stood up with his hands up. “I’m sorry. I really put my foot in my mouth. I didn’t mean it like that at all. I meant — "
Harry shook his head. “No. Don’t care. Get out.” He pointed to the front door again .
Alex swallowed. What a complete fuckup. Harry would calm down tomorrow. Maybe the day after tomorrow. “Ok. I’m going. Uh, don’t stress yourself out too much. It wouldn’t be good for the baby .”
If Alex thought that would make Harry swoon with love, he was an idiot. Harry’s eyes got so big he thought they’d pop out of his head. Alex turned around and walked out the front door .
Chapter 12
H arry passed through the main office, waving at Shirley as he walked into the mailroom. Just like every day since the fight, there was a handwritten note waiting for him in his mail slot. And every day since the first one, Harry pulled out the note, crumpled it up and threw it in the trash, unread. He pulled out the rest of his mail, walked out the offices and down the hallway to his classroom .
It was snowy outside, so his boots made squeaking sounds as he walked down the hall. It was nearing the holidays, and while Harry loved Christmas this year he was sad. He had gone over that stupid fight every day in his head. He was getting more tired as the pregnancy progressed. Harry had attended the appointments with the prenatal doctor by himself. He told the doctor the dad wasn’t in the picture. He wasn’t. Because Harry wouldn’t let him .
He felt guilty. Actually, he wavered between guilty and angry. He was mad at Alex for thinking he could come back in his life and take it over. Then his eyes itched, and he knew the tears would come next. Harry unlocked his classroom door before anyone could catch him crying .
Once in his classroom, he took off his coat, scarf, boots, put on his school shoes and sat down at his desk. He looked around his classroom and tried to cheer himself up. The students had put up tinsel, wreaths, Christmas ornaments and even a Santa hat on his bust of Shakespeare. But nothing made him feel better. He didn’t want to be pregnant by himself. The baby moved last week and yet here he was, the only parent enjoying all of this. He wondered if he had made the wrong decision about Alex .
Harry laid his head on his desk. He didn’t want an alpha that ran him over. That took over and managed his life. He wanted a partner. An equal partner. Just because he could get pregnant didn’t mean he was a second class citizen. Seriously. It’s like some alphas thought omegas were dumb and only there to give birth and stand around in the kitchen barefoot and pregnant .
Harry sighed and let it out. He had overreacted. But again, every time he had this conversation with himself, he didn’t know what to do about it. He didn’t know if Alex would be open to compromise and what did a compromise look like? Would Harry get one room in his own home to be the way he wanted it? Would Alex redo everything in the latest Ikea styles? Would there be a chemistry lab set up in the living room? He knew he was just being crazy .
Harry was thumping his head on his desk when the door opened .
“Oh.” Harry looked up to see Alex standing in the doorway with a wrapped package. “I thought you wouldn’t be here yet .”
Harry sat up. “How would you have gotten in here if the door was locked ?”
Alex looked down at his feet then back up. “Let’s just say Santa’s little helpers have been helping me.” Harry frowned. That could only mean a student. But how would a student have a key? His confusion must have shown on his face. “A lookout tells me when you’re here. I thought you would have gone to get coffee. I was going to sneak this in and sneak out.” Alex sighed. “How are you doing ?”
Harry faced the front of the room again. How was he doing? He was eating. He was sleeping. He was going to school and teaching. But it’s like he wasn’t alive. Sad. Angry and then sad again. He wasn’t sure whether he was more angry at himself or the jerk alpha standing in the doorway that got him pregnant .
Harry looked over at Alex. He hadn’t moved. “I guess I’m ok. How are you ?”
Alex looked down at his feet. Harry noticed what he was wearing for the first time. A dark gray pin striped suit, white shirt, green and red striped tie. He looked debonair and gorgeous. Still handsome as ever. Harry longed to call him his alpha. His eyes itched again. It seemed all he did these days was cry. Now that he had stopped puking, which was nice, his hormones were going crazy bouncing between emotions. Did he need to buy stock in Kleenex ?
“Don’t cry. I’m sorry if I upset you by coming here. Let me just set your gift down and I’ll leave.” Alex walked to the desk and set the gift down. It looked like the box a shirt came in. Alex got him a shirt ?
Harry looked up at Alex standing by his desk. Alex’s expression resembled a pleading dog. Harry looked down. He felt like crap. He didn’t want to fight with Alex. They had just gotten together when they had their stupid fight. Harry realized he had a stubborn streak a mile wide. He wasn’t the one free of blame in this. Actually it was all his fault now that he thought of it. If he had calmed down and let Alex stay
, they probably would have talked it all out .
The bell went off. Alex looked at his watch and then back at Harry. “What are you doing for lunch today ?”
Harry shook his head. “I’m busy. I'm helping a senior with her senior project.” Alex looked sad .
“Ok. Can I meet you for dinner? Please?” Harry nodded his head .
* * *
A lex ran his hands through his hair. He got them a table at the steak restaurant. He thought it was fitting he was springing for steaks considering it was his fault that their steaks had burnt that night. That one night they were happy until he pushed too much and it all fell apart. He had no idea Harry could hold a grudge…. what was he talking about? Of course he knew Harry could hold a grudge. Harry had held a grudge for decades over one year in middle school. Shit .
Alex buried his head in his hands. This may never work out. Harry will never give him the time of day, he’d have to fight to eve see his child. Dammit. This isn’t what he wanted .
He heard someone slide into the booth across from him. He whipped his head up and smiled in relief. It was Harry. He looked the same but different. He had a glow. It must be that pregnancy glow he had read about. “I’m glad you’re here .”
Harry nodded. He looked down and opened the menu. Well, it looked like this was all up to him then. “I’m sorry.” Harry looked up but didn’t give him any encouraging signs. “I’m sorry I pushed for you to live with me or change your house. That was ridiculous of me. I’m sorry .”
Harry nodded again. “I’m sorry too. For being so stubborn. I’m sure if I hadn’t thrown you out that we would have come to terms or some compromise that night. Or at least let our relationship develop more before bringing it up again .”
Alex smiled. “You can hold one hell of a grudge .”
Harry chuckled. “Well you know what they say about Irish Alzheimers.” Alex shook his head. “You forget everything but the grudges.” Alex smiled. At least Harry could laugh about himself .
“How are you doing? Really.” Alex was concerned. It couldn’t be easy being pregnant .
“I’m over the puking. Now I’m hungry and horny.” Harry’s eyes went comically wide as he covered his mouth. Alex laughed. He wasn’t counting on anything though. He wasn’t even going to try anything .
“Do you think there’s any chance we can get back together? We had just got to know each other. I still think of you as my omega. Have you read any of my notes?” Alex was sure he hadn’t. Because he’d check the trash can of the mailroom every morning and there was a crumpled up paper in there every day. It was his note every time .
Harry shook his head. “Like I said. I’m very stubborn. And I think I’m an idiot too.” Harry let out a big sigh. “This is really all my fault. I was too prejudiced to even consider that you had changed. I didn’t believe it. Then after we got together, I was prejudiced thinking all alphas were the same .”
“You must have had run-ins with some bad alphas .”
Harry nodded. “Yes. I’m sorry. I really messed it all up .”
Alex understood. He knew how prejudice could color someone’s actions. He also knew how pride played a part in it as well. “It’s like we’re the modern gay version of Pride & Prejudice.” Harry snorted, then laughed .
Alex smiled and laughed with him. “Well now, what are we going to do?” Alex hoped Harry would say go back to the way things were. But that wasn’t good enough for Alex .
“I’d like for us to be together again .”
Alex smiled. Good. That was what he wanted too. “I’d like that.” Harry smiled. His face shone. “But I have some caveats.” Harry’s face dropped. Alex reached his hand over the table. Harry put his hand in Alex’s. “I can’t get yanked around like this anymore if we have a fight. I mean when we have a fight. Fights are a part of relationships. I can’t be worried I’ll get kicked out and wait a month or more before I can come back to you .”
Harry squeezed his hand. “I know. I’m sorry .”
Alex nodded his head. “We’ll talk it out. We can go to different corners of the house even. But we never go to bed mad. We stay up all night if we have to. But we don’t stay apart. We don’t cut the relationship in half. Ok ?”
Harry looked on the verge of crying. He used his free hand to wipe his eyes. “I’m so sorry. I’m such an ass. I’m so sorry .”
Alex squeezed his hand. “I’m here. Let’s focus on getting some food in us right now. Ok ?”
Harry nodded his head. Alex smiled and let go of his hand. Now that he had his easily spooked omega back, how was he going to keep him? How could he make this relationship work if Harry was ready to bolt if anything didn’t go right? Alex sighed. He sure hoped he could out maneuver Harry anytime he felt like running .
Chapter 13
H arry felt much better today. He shook his head as he thought back to the few weeks that he had ignored Alex. God what had come over him? Why did he think Alex had gone back to the bully from middle school? Sometimes Harry wondered if his brain was all there. Tonight Alex was coming over and they would discuss living arrangements. Harry’s lips pursed just thinking about it. He wanted to make Alex happy, but that house was his. He had bought it, loved it and didn’t want to leave it .
Harry went to the mailroom and saw another plain sheet of paper folded in half in his mail slot. Why was Alex leaving him notes when he didn’t have to anymore? Harry opened it up .
“Hey omega of my life, I’m looking forward to hanging out at your house tonight. XX Alex .”
Harry smiled. A little love note. Harry’s face dropped. He didn’t deserve Alex. He was such an idiot for holding a grudge for weeks over their last fight. He couldn’t believe Alex was willing to take him back let alone go back to the way things were. Harry shook his head. He grabbed the rest of his mail and headed down the hallway to his classroom .
* * *
T he knock at the door could only be Alex. Harry went to the door and opened it. Alex wrapped his arms around Harry and gave him a big, long, thorough kissing. Harry smiled. He missed being in Alex’s arms .
“Come on in.” Alex kicked the snow off his boots before coming inside the house. He toed his boots off by the front door and hung his coat up on the coat tree .
Alex turned to Harry. “So, what’s for dinner honey?” Harry laughed. “Hey, just getting into the domestic mood here. I could get used to showing up to a dinner ready made .”
Harry’s eyebrows rose. “With both of us teaching, I don’t think I will be the only one cooking around here.” He snagged a kitchen towel off the fridge handle, rolled it up and smacked Alex on the ass .
“Hey!” Harry laughed. He missed Alex. “I’ve got scalloped potatoes with ham and asparagus. Sound good?” Harry looked back at Alex as he put the towel back in the fridge handle .
“Sounds delicious. That’s a lot of work.” Alex looked concerned .
Harry smiled. “It’s so easy a caveman could do it .”
Alex rolled his eyes. “Let me set the table since you made dinner.” Alex looked around at the cabinets and then back at Harry. “Where are the plates ?”
Harry laughed. “Why don’t I set the table and you do all the clean up .”
“Works for me.” Alex grabbed a beer from the fridge and looked at Harry. “Why is there beer in the fridge if you’re pregnant ?”
Harry put the plates on the table. “Because it was leftover from our last disastrous dinner here.” He didn’t want to look at Alex. He didn’t want to see disappointment on his face .
He felt Alex’s arms wrap around him. “Harry, I know you’re sorry for the last few weeks, so let’s just leave it at that. I should have tried harder to get through to you. I was scared of chasing you away though. I didn’t want to lose you forever .”
Harry turned around. “How did you know I’d come back ?”
Alex ran a finger down the side of Harry’s face. “Because we were terrific together. And you’re pregnant. I wondered if
that was the hormones kicking in and making… uh… making things… uh …”
Harry put him out of his misery. “I know you’re trying to avoid saying the hormones made me crazy. But I wonder if they did that too. I was just crazy the first several weeks. Angry then crying the next minute. It was hell .”
Alex hugged him and held him close. He kissed the top of Harry’s head. “We’ll get through this. Just talk to me. Don’t close me out. We’re partners in this .”
Harry nodded his head against Alex’s chest. He was shaking. Harry didn’t want to cry, let out those huge sobs that were building in his chest, but he couldn’t hold them in anymore. “I’m so sorry.” Alex rubbed his back and held him. It was so peaceful and comforting. He had never had an alpha just hold and comfort him. Harry calmed down and breathed in the unique alpha scent that was Alex’s .
“Thanks.”
“No problem.” Alex pulled away and looked at Harry. “Are you really ok ?”
Harry nodded his head .
* * *
A fter dinner they sat together in Harry’s living room, listening to the TV while they graded homework and labs. They had some documentary on in the background for noise. It was a companionable silence .
“So what do you think about us moving in together? I consider you my omega and I want to help you out with the pregnancy. I want to share your life.” Alex looked over at Harry. He was still, too still. Alex’s stomach dropped. What is Harry’s deal with Alex moving in ?
“I don’t know. This is too soon. Let me think about it.” Alex sighed. He needed to sort this out. But how hard to push it before Harry freaked out again ?
Alex turned back to the labs he was grading. “Did your parents stay together ?”
“Yes. They’re still together. They were missionaries for a long time then got married, had kids, then when we were older they went off to do missionary work again. They love it .”
