“Trust me, it wasn’t exactly in the plan for me, either. But Ana—”
“No, wait. Let me finish. Bryan, I love you. I’ve been in love with you for a long time. But I don’t need to tell you that this is not how I saw my life going. It was supposed to be perfect, you know . . . I was supposed to meet a successful man with a high-powered career, who didn’t mind that I made my own money, even encouraged me in my ambitions. We’d get married, move into a tasteful house in the city that was just expensive enough to make all our friends jealous. And then we’d have two-point-five kids in the space of four years. Pretty sure prep school was on the list too.”
Bryan’s heart sank as she listed off all the criteria for her perfect life. He’d always had the suspicion that he didn’t measure up to her expectations, and now he had proof. It didn’t even matter that Vivian had come along. It had only been a matter of time before she figured out that he wasn’t what she wanted.
But she was still speaking. “I realized it wasn’t so much that I wanted those things; it was that I knew I would never find them. I was holding out for the perfect so I didn’t have to deal with the real.”
He stared at her. This was not where he’d thought she was going with this speech.
“Listen, you know that the whole thing with Robert messed me up. Anyone who knows me knows that I have control issues.” She flipped him a helpless smile. “All this time, I’ve been trying to prove that I’m not the person who makes mistakes and bad decisions. And I’m ashamed to say that with Vivian in the picture, it made you seem like another one of my bad decisions.”
“Ana—”
She waved him off and stepped closer, reaching for his chalk-smeared hand. “Bryan, you’re not a bad decision. You’re my best decision. Because you’re real. You liked me when I was a coldhearted corporate shill. You liked me when you found out I was lying to my best friends because I was embarrassed to tell the truth about my past . . . which was stupid, because it didn’t matter to them at all, just like you said it wouldn’t. And I figure you’ll like me even now that I’m unemployed and have no idea what to do with my life.”
He couldn’t hold himself back. “What? You quit?”
“I found out that I was just lying to myself and everyone else.” She held up her hand. “Not to say that I have anything against my publicity colleagues. I’m not ashamed of my work. But I realized that it was easier to be a publicist for my own life instead of living it. When you deal with image all day, you start to forget that there needs to be some substance beneath it.” Tears glistened on her bottom lashes. “And I don’t know that there is.”
The flash of emotion destroyed any barrier he might have had against her. He pulled her into his arms. “No, Ana, I don’t believe that for a second. You are intelligent and funny and caring. You love your friends and your family . . . even when your family has spent more than a decade throwing passive-aggressive jabs your way. You helped me even though you didn’t have to. Those aren’t the actions of someone who lacks substance.”
“But I love you and I walked away from you when things got too messy.”
“Life is messy, Ana. But I don’t blame you. It would have been a lot for anyone to take.”
“It’s not.” She shook her head resolutely. “I love you, Bryan. So you made a mistake. So you have a baby. I respect the fact that you’re a man of character who owns up to his responsibilities. And if this . . . us . . . goes all the way, I’m prepared to be the best stepmother I can be. No matter how a child comes into the world, he deserves to have people who love him.”
Bryan sucked in a breath, stunned by her words. The prick behind his eyes warned tears, but Ana wasn’t exactly the type to approve of a crying man, so he blinked quickly until the sensation passed. “You have no idea how much that means to me, Ana.”
She gave him a watery smile. “You have no idea how much you mean to me.”
“But I have to tell you something. The baby isn’t mine.”
She stared at him. “What? You did a paternity test?”
He nodded. “Got the results back today. I’m not the father. I’ll leave the question of whether it’s Luke’s for him and Viv to sort out.”
He didn’t tell her how Vivian had broken down when they’d found out, how she’d admitted she’d been afraid to do the test because she didn’t want the baby to be Luke’s, not after their relationship had become so volatile and combative. She’d come to Denver with the hope that Bryan would take her back and accept the baby as his own without question; she’d really thought there was still a chance for them.
Now, it all just made Bryan’s head hurt, and if he were honest, his heart too. Vivian was messed up and light-years beyond misguided, but he didn’t want to see her in pain. He had a feeling she was dealing with her own past issues in as self-destructive a way as Bryan had.
“I’m so stunned I don’t even know what to say.”
“I know. I’m sorry to put you through that. But, Ana . . . even though the baby’s not mine, I feel like I still need to check up on Viv once in a while. Make sure she’s all right. I owe her that much. Is that something you can be okay with?”
Ana nodded. “I can. Even if it is like one big soap opera.”
He took her face in his hands. “I love you, Ana. It means so much to me that you were willing to sacrifice your vision of the future to be with me.”
“I love you, too,” she whispered.
He leaned down to kiss her and she wrapped her arms around his neck, holding on to him like she wouldn’t let go.
And even if she did, he wouldn’t.
Epilogue
JUNE 19 DAWNED bright and sunny, with fluffy clouds chasing each other across the blue Colorado sky. The forecast predicted rain for later, but they were all praying that the ceremony would go off without a hitch before they moved to the barn for the reception.
“Are you ready?” Ana fluffed Rachel’s skirt, checking for errant wrinkles in her wedding dress. She’d been a little militant with the steamer today, but that was only because she needed to stay busy. She was just as nervous as the bride and groom, maybe more. Because there was one thing that still needed to be settled, and she was far less confident of the outcome.
“Ana, relax.” Rachel turned to regard herself in the mirror, perfectly calm and at peace. She looked stunning, the simple halter accentuating her figure and leaving her shoulders bare but for a cascade of dark curls. She’d decided to forgo a veil, instead wearing a spray of flowers on one side of her hair. She looked confident, beautiful, modern. The perfect bride.
“Oh, I’m so happy for you!” Melody threw her arms around Rachel, nearly crushing her dress again, and Ana had to restrain herself from pulling her away before she did some serious damage.
“Watch it, Mel,” Rachel said. “That ring is going to blind me if you’re not careful.”
Melody pulled away from Rachel with a laugh and held her left hand out before her. “I almost can’t believe it. It’s been three weeks and I still stare at it wondering if it’s real.”
“It’s real,” Rachel shot back. “Though I still can’t believe we’re losing you to Florida. Colorado—and Bittersweet Café—won’t be the same without you.”
They hugged again, murmuring watery endearments, and Ana blinked back tears of her own. She was thrilled for her friends, but today was the day everything changed. Rachel would be married, Melody would be moving . . . and in a few minutes they would no longer be the tight-knit little trio who had taken on the world as single women with ambitions for the future. She moved toward them and put her arms around their shoulders. “I’m going to miss this. This is the last time we’ll all be single girls together. As happy as I am for you, Rachel—and you too, Melody—I can’t help but feel a little sad.”
“No.” Rachel pulled them close again. “We’re sisters, remember? That makes us all family. You’re not losing a sister; you’re just gaining a brother. And pretty soon, another one.”
Ana brushed away the tears that had finally broken free as she hugged her two favorite women in the world, her heart full. She wasn’t normally so sappy, but it was like casting off the remnants of her old life had cast off the chains that held back her emotions too. She was crying all the time these days, and unashamedly. Just not enough to let her happy tears ruin the hour of makeup their artist had gone through this morning.
“Okay, let’s do this.” She squeezed both of them and then reached for their bouquets, lined up on the table. She handed the bigger one to Rachel, a gorgeous cluster of Colorado wildflowers that spoke of summer and sunshine and new beginnings. The smaller ones, all white to contrast with their pale-green dresses, went to Melody and Ana.
“See you when you’re married!” Melody called gaily, making a beeline for the tent flap.
Ana exchanged a long look with Rachel. “I love you, Rachel. I’m really happy for you.”
“And I’m happy for you, too.” Her knowing look made Ana blush, even though she and Bryan had been very open about their relationship. The fact that they were joined at the hip probably had something to do with it, too.
Ana took a deep breath, stepped out of the tent into the sunshine, and proceeded down the gravel walk to the small enclosed garden where the wedding was going to be held. They’d laid out the chairs in concentric squares around the little garden, a 360-degree view of the proceedings broken only by the red carpet leading through the gate to where the officiant and the groom already stood under the arbor.
She heard the soft murmur of Russian in the nearest chairs, Alex’s family come from near and far to witness his wedding. And then she glimpsed Bryan and Justin up front next to Alex, all of them looking dapper and clean-shaven and excited for the proceedings.
The cellist began the first strains of the wedding processional, the prelude to Bach’s Cello Suite no. 1. They had no flower girl or ring bearer, but Alex’s sister, Dina, as the youngest, started down the aisle first. Then came Ana, and then Melody, taking their places opposite the men.
Finally, all heads swiveled to see the bride poised at the edge of the aisle, glowing with happiness, her eyes already fixed on her groom. Alex’s face lit up, his gaze following Rachel all the way down the aisle until she came to rest opposite him in front of the reverend. He took her hand and bent to whisper something to her, which made her smile even wider.
Ana wouldn’t remember the words of the ceremony later; she was too busy watching Bryan across the aisle, her heart pounding with nerves. He gave her a quick, questioning frown. Even from eight feet away he could tell when something was bothering her. She flashed him a smile in return so he knew that everything was okay and valiantly attempted to keep her mind on the ceremony.
And then it was over. The bride and groom turned and walked down the aisle, beaming at their guests as they went, resonating with happiness over their union. Ana was next, and Bryan met her again in the center to escort her back down the aisle.
“You’re never this distracted,” he whispered. “Is something wrong?”
“No, not wrong.” At his curious look, she said, “I’ll tell you later; I promise.”
But later seemed like it would never come. There were the photos of the wedding party together, and then the reception, which was probably the most spectacular feast ever served in a barn, course after course of delicious food and drinks, courtesy of Rachel’s chef friend Caleb and, of course, the Solid Grounds Coffee Company. When the evening finally turned toward dancing, and the day faded into a sparkle of lights overhead, Ana took Bryan by the hand and pulled him outside.
She took a deep breath, inhaling the cool quiet away from the noisy, warm interior of the barn. “It’s a beautiful night. The rain was threatening, but I think we’re finally in the clear.”
“We are in the clear.” Bryan glanced around and then tugged her around the corner of the barn and into his arms. “You know I’ve been waiting to do this all day.”
“Me too,” she whispered and let him prove exactly how much he’d missed her. When she finally regained the presence of mind to pull away, she was feeling even more shaky and breathless. “You know, someone’s going to catch us.”
“We’re just kissing, Ana.” His playful smile said he remembered the last time he’d told her the same thing, the night they’d finally succumbed to the pull of attraction and taken their relationship from friends to something more.
“And this isn’t a proposition,” she added.
He grinned. “Or a proposal.”
“Well . . .” Ana gave him a sly smile, hoping it didn’t look as shaky as it felt. “You told me that when it came time to propose to you, you wanted to make sure your hair looked good. Your hair looks pretty fantastic today.”
He stared at her. “Ana?”
“I know it hasn’t been long, but you also know when I figure out what I want, I don’t waste time going after it.”
“Um, yeah. You waited, what, one day before opening up your own business?”
“Shh.” She placed a finger on his lips. “Don’t interrupt. I had this all figured out.”
He pulled her against him. “Of course you did.”
“And what I’ve realized from the last two months is that you’re exactly what I never knew I wanted. What I never knew I needed. I’m not sure exactly who I am yet, but I know I’m more of me when I’m with you than anywhere else.” She took a deep breath. “So, with that said, Bryan Shaw, will you marry me?”
A delighted smile spread across his face. “Analyn Sanchez, I can think of nothing I want more.” And then he crushed his lips to hers in a kiss that washed away any fears she might have had about his feelings for her.
When she pulled away, however, it wasn’t because she’d had her fill of him—she was beginning to think that could take a lifetime. Rather, it was the distinct, cold plop of a raindrop on her forehead. Followed by half a dozen of its friends.
Ana squinted at the sky and blinked as one fell directly into her eye. “Really?” she demanded of no one in particular.
Bryan laughed, but still held her close. “I’m sorry the weather didn’t cooperate with what was admittedly a pretty perfect proposal.”
Ana sighed happily and looked into Bryan’s face, his expression holding amusement and tenderness and so much love that it made her catch her breath again. She finally knew the truth.
“I don’t need perfect. I just need you.”
Author’s Note
WHEN I WAS CONSIDERING writing the third book in the Supper Club series about coffee, I was inspired by the example of several faith-based organizations working in Colombia to help farmers convert coca to coffee crops. Farmers often find themselves with no other choice but to grow coca for the cartels, and government incentives to convert to coffee often don’t materialize, leaving them unable to feed their families and pay basic expenses. Third-party organizations, on the other hand, are able to take some of the uncertainty out of the equation by guaranteeing higher prices for fair-trade and organic coffee to be sold to artisanal roasters in the US and other countries.
However, coffee is a price-sensitive commodity. In 2014, panic over coffee shortages led to widespread planting, particularly in Brazil. As of this writing in 2019, the market has been flooded with beans, driving the price below half of what it was only five years earlier. Unfortunately, due to falling prices, many of the farmers who converted to coffee years before have had no choice but to convert back to coca. Coffee prices are predicted to rebound, and it’s possible that the pendulum will swing back the other way as it once again becomes lucrative.
I encourage anyone who is concerned about the impact of their coffee habit on the farmers who grow the beans or the connection to the drug trade to seek out fair-trade, single-origin coffee from micro- and macro-roasters. By buying high-quality beans sourced directly from the farmers or through a reputable co-op, we can help ensure a living wage for farmers and shift the demand, however slightly, toward a more sustainable coffee eco
nomy.
About the Author
CARLA LAUREANO is the two-time RITA Award–winning author of contemporary inspirational romance and Celtic fantasy (as C. E. Laureano). A graduate of Pepperdine University, she worked as a sales and marketing executive for nearly a decade before leaving corporate life behind to write fiction full-time. She currently lives in Denver with her husband and two sons, where she writes during the day and cooks things at night.
Discussion Questions
Ana is the definition of driven, always striving toward perfection. In what ways is this a good quality? How is it harmful? How important is it to you to “check the boxes” in your own life, literally or figuratively?
Bryan compares himself to the Prodigal Son of the Bible story (see Luke 15:11-32), wondering what happened when the Prodigal had to prove he was a changed man. How do you imagine the rest of the Prodigal’s life played out? Have you encountered people who cling to an old perception of you? Were you able to persuade them that you’d changed?
Through the outward symbols of her success—her wardrobe, her car, her apartment—Ana carefully crafts the image she presents to the world. Bryan is also accused of hiding his true self behind his reputation as a shallow playboy. What “armor” do you wear when you want to protect yourself or project a certain image? Do you struggle, as Ana does, to let others see your vulnerabilities?
For a long time, Ana and Bryan resisted their attraction to each other, in part because of their interconnected friend group. Were they wise to do so?
Though she’s mostly satisfied with her life, at times Ana feels left out and lonely once her two best friends begin working together and find romantic relationships. Have you ever felt like the odd one out in a group of friends? What happened?
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