Reckless Karma (Sinners & Saints #2)

by Chelsea Ballinger

  16

  REBECCA

  “Where’s your mom and Patrick?” Scarlett comes in my room and asks.

  I wipe the tears from my eyes. “I think I’m too depressing to be around so… my mom is who knows where and my brother is at the office. He’s been really angry lately.”

  “I know,” Scarlett says coming closer to me.

  “This was at the door for you.” She hands me a blank envelope.

  “What is this?”

  She shrugs confused as I am. “I don’t know.”

  I open it and I can’t breathe. I’ve been suffocating for quite some time now, but nothing compares to this. I stare at the picture of me naked and asleep in bed. “What is this?!”

  Scarlett looks in horror and reads the writing on it. “You wanted it,” she repeats. “God, Rebecca, I’m so sorry. Hugo must’ve sent this. I’ll call your mom or Patrick, just wait here.”

  It seems like forever waiting for Scarlett. The more I wait, the more I stare at the picture. I look dirty because I am dirty. I look broken because I am broken. I look pathetic because I am pathetic. Hugo was right—I am weak. I am shallow. I’m nothing. I’m nothing. There’s this pain inside of me that won’t go away and I don’t understand why. Stop it. Stop it!

  “Scarlett!” I call on her, but she doesn’t come. I go to find her. I can’t find her. Why would she leave? Maybe she left to get away from me too. All the bad parts in me come out in the open and I need to figure out how to get rid of them. How to get rid of the pain.

  JULIET

  “You packed?” Jaz asks me.

  “Yeah,” I quietly say. “You sure the jet can get here that quick?”

  “It’s about to land in an hour,” Jaz confirms.

  I nod.

  “What are you doing?” Jordana asks as she comes in with Cody behind her.

  “Poppy said you guys are leaving,” Cody says. “She’s crying.”

  “Yeah, we are. We’ll be back,” Jaz says.

  “Juliet, what the hell? You can’t leave now… especially with everything happening with Hugo. And without telling him?” Jordana voices her annoyed opinion at me.

  “That’s what I told her, but she’s persistent on this one and understandably.” Jaz doesn’t help.

  I don’t talk. I just zip up my bag. I don’t want to say it. If I do that means it is true, and if it is true then I might break. I can’t break before I get to the bloody jet.

  “Does this have to do with the phone call you got two hours ago?” Cody asks.

  “Yeah…” Jaz’s voice fades.

  “Well, it better be really big considering that you won’t even tell Hugo…. Are you gonna say bye to August?” Jordana is still throwing a fit.

  “Jess is dead,” I say point blank. “She had been having um… severe seizures lately. Really bad ones that put her in a mild coma and… a few nights ago one finally killed her.” Or I killed her is more accurate, but I won’t get into that. It’s not about me. It’s about Jess who I am mildly pissed off at for not telling me she had been getting worse.

  “She’s dead… I have to go, Jordana. Can you tell Hugo that for me? He’s already texted me and said the kids will be fine. They are just waiting for the check up and I just… I have to go.”

  Jordana doesn’t say anything. She nods and groans and before I know it she hugs me. I bite my lip and laugh, do anything to avoid tears falling.

  “You’re the one consoling now?” I ask.

  “You rubbed off on me. Only for ten seconds.” She lets go. “There.”

  “Tell Hugo and August I love them and I will be back.” I can tell by the look in her eyes that she doesn’t believe me and neither do I. “I promise.”

  “Okay.”

  Jaz grabs my bag and walks out and before I follow, I hug Cody.

  “Be good, Juliet,” he says.

  “You too.” I kiss him on the cheek and when I get out in the hallway there is August standing and I can tell by the look on his face he heard everything. He waves at me. “Bye Rabbit,” he says and quickly runs back upstairs to his room.

  KARLIE

  “All better,” the doctor says once he’s finished with putting on Ollie’s cast.

  “Cool!” Ollie is excited at the blue cast on his left forearm. “Look Mommy!”

  “I see, baby.” I’m still crying and now smiling as I comb my fingers through his curls.

  “I want a cast!” Suzie says in envy as we get in the waiting area.

  “No, you don’t,” my mom, Anika, Hugo and I all say at once.

  Suzie is sitting in Hugo’s lap and practicing telling time on his watch.

  “You good, my little nugget?” Anika asks Ollie and he nods in satisfaction.

  “I still can’t believe that happened.” My mom is still shaken up about it.

  “Ma, it’s okay,” I assure her.

  “I knew I should’ve kept that mace I had when we were living in the old neighborhood.”

  “Ma, bye,” Anika laughs. “You would’ve maced yourself.”

  “Be quiet, Anika.”

  I’m thankful for this family. I’m thankful for the loyalty, the unconditional love, and the perfect timing of comedic tones in the midst of crisis.

  “Excuse me, Mrs. Fairchild?” The uniformed cop approaches us. “I just wanted to update you on the suspect. He’s been captured and he’s here now. He unfortunately got robbed himself.”

  “Who would want to rob a homeless man?” Anika asks.

  “Apparently one of his buddies after he bragged about making a quick two hundred.”

  “What?” I say.

  “Ollie, Suzie, let’s go get some nurses to sign Ollie’s cast,” Anika says and takes the twins away as Ma, Hugo and I listen.

  “Apparently, according to the homeless man, a woman paid him two hundred to scare the kids. Not hurt them, but to scare them and he said your son falling down was an accident. All we could get with the description of the woman was that she was blonde.”

  “Thank you,” I quickly say. “Please keep us updated.”

  I want him to go. Go now.

  “Yes mam.”

  “That’s that bitch, isn’t it?” my mom says once the cop leaves. “I was too busy playing with the kids then checking my phone when it happened. I did not see her.

  I thought my hatred for her couldn’t be more deep rooted, but I was wrong. I was entirely wrong.

  “It’s okay, Mom… I’m gonna kill her. I’m gonna kill her.” I’m serious. I am I’ll just kill her. The world will be better off if I just kill her.

  “I think that boy might beat you to it.”

  I turn around and realize my mom is right. Hugo’s gone. Shit.

  GABRIEL

  “You look like shit,” she says. I continue with my bottle of whiskey. Her heels clicking on my floor. “I see my room was torn to shreds.”

  She’s right. I tore through her room an hour ago searching for something valuable. Something that can destroy her.

  “One can only conclude that you were trying to get your hands on my precious. Lord of the Rings style.”

  She would be correct. It’s the only way I can stop her.

  “Poor baby. You’re so pathetic. I’m surprised you’re not being pathetic with your little slut.”

  I think I blacked out just now. I’m pretty sure I did because I don’t know when I dropped the bottle, went across the room, and put my hands around Scarlett’s throat, her body pressed against the wall so hard that the painting on the wall falls. It feels good to be choking her. It feels invigorating.

  “Kinky.” She gets the word out, still smiling through the loss of breath and it only pisses me off more, but I can’t do it.

  “AHHHH!!” I scream in her face and let her go. She falls to the floor, her hand on her neck as she coughs then laughs.

  “You are too cute.”

  “I’m gonna kill you. I’m gonna kill Noel… and I’m gonna kill Chad.”

  “No, you’re
not.” She stands back up. “You’re gonna be a good boy and do what you’re told.”

  “I fucking hate you!” I scream at the top of my lungs. “With everything I have! I fucking hate you.”

  “Well…” She looks hurt, still cold. “That is unfortunate, but maybe you’re hatred for me will be overthrown by your hatred for the root.”

  “What the fuck are you talking about?”

  She walks over to my bed. “I brought this for you since you were so eager to have it.” She’s referring to the black box. Her Pandora’s box. Everything she has on everyone in that fucking little black box. She presses in the code—a code I already know—and pulls out a USB. “Consider this my gift to you. Proof of my love and affection.”

  I scoff. “There is nothing but darkness in you, Scarlett.”

  “Same could be said about you considering where you came from. That darkness that is in you? It’s not because your daddy is a bastard and your mommy killed herself. Well, part of it is, but have you ever wondered why your mother was the way she was?”

  “I could care less right now.”

  “No, you could care more now. You know the Black Card Club your long lost uncle started? There’s a reason why they only let certain people in.” She takes my hand and places the USB in it.

  “If you still want to kill me after this… I’ll be in my room.”

  She grabs her stupid box and leaves. I look at the USB in my hand and I curse my curiosity. I shouldn’t look at it, but I will because I know when she is telling the truth. Even when she lies I accept it, and when she tells the truth it is rare and fortunate in my eyes, until now.

  I sit at my desk and insert the USB into my laptop. There’s seven folders. Seven names. One of them being my uncle. Stewart Voncliff. Another being Scarlett’s father, Theodore Brayson. The other names are former senators, actors, the wealthiest of the wealthy, yet still a rare list. The Black Card Club. My father mocks them. Mostly because they won’t let him in. They won’t really let anyone in and my uncle runs it all, but I haven’t seen him or my grandmother since Mom’s funeral. I don’t know anything other than he’s crippled and she’s an old, bitter woman. I click on the folder of my uncle. A list of video documents appear. Each one labeled with names. Names of people. Women, in fact. I figure this must be just the women they have slept with. Until I click on a video and see differently. I exit out of the video quickly. My hand covers my mouth and I don’t want to look anymore. I’m finished… but then a familiar name stops me. My finger trembles over the keys. I click on it… and there are no more thoughts. No more anything. Nothing can be explained of it. Nothing.

  SCARLETT

  I told the doorman to let him up and I left the door open for him to storm in.

  And so he does storm in. I hear the harsh sound of his feet coming towards me. I’m in Rebecca’s room standing and waiting, hoping for a very splendid spectacle.

  He almost passes the room, taking a second look at me before coming in.

  “Hello,” I say.

  “You fucking psychotic bitch.” He comes towards me.

  “Are you talking about that little accident today? It was child’s play.”

  “Are you really that fucked up in the head?”

  “I thought that’s what you loved about me.”

  “I’m not kidding, Scarlett!” he yells in my face.

  “Neither am I… you people still have yet to understand that. In this situation, Hugo, let’s just say that you are the uniformed cop stuffing yourself with donuts and whiskey and I?” I step towards him meeting his eyes. “I am the CIA… I do what I want. I get what I want. I am God.”

  He grabs me by the arms, digging his fingers into me, and pushes me back until I am slammed against the wall. It definitely hurts, but in a very pleasurable way. I laugh at the unrecognizable eyes filled with hate and the need to kill.

  “Well, this is definitely Déjà vu,” I laugh off. “But the first time this happened Gabriel had his hand around my throat… and I think I enjoyed that better.”

  “I’m gonna do more to you if you don’t stop. You come near my family again… I swear to God I will kill you. I will kill you and gladly condemn myself to a cell.”

  “Or you can just kill yourself like Gabriel did.” He yanks me towards him and slams me again on the wall. “Now that’s gonna leave a mark. Which is good for me. I’ll need evidence when I tell the police you came and attacked me.”

  “You forgot I found your box.”

  “A box that doesn’t trace back to me.”

  “A box that isn’t even the original. I know Gabriel took it. Didn’t he? He took it.”

  “Yes, he did. And the whereabouts of it died with him, but I suppose I understand why. After all if that box got out… everyone would know the truth about your mother.”

  “What the fuck are you talking about? Tell me.”

  “No… I’d rather you spend your whole life not knowing, mentally killing yourself on not knowing. Hell, maybe deep down you do know. I always thought deep down Gabriel knew. I bet maybe even August too. Gabriel always said he was the smartest one of you all. Nobody expects the slow one to know anything.”

  His eyes soften and I am confused as to why. A comment like that should cause another shove. Instead he lets me go and steps back and now I’m the one wondering where his head is at. He looks at me and laughs. Laughs? He rubs his face, sighing and his head turns and his eyes stop and now I’m happy again. He picks up the picture of a passed out Rebecca and frowns. He shakes his head.

  “One day… all that pain you inflict will literally hit you back, and when it does, I will be there.”

  “Interesting theory. Until then let’s just keep this going the way it should be going.”

  “Where’s Rebecca?”

  “My guess is on the rooftop trying to figure out if she should kill herself or not.”

  His face falls and he begins to run out. “Don’t forget, Hugo. You’re not good at stopping women from falling.”

  I can see the doubt on his face. The confusion about what he thinks he is doing. Hugo’s no hero. He’s not even the villain anymore. He’s just another extra. He leaves and I check the time on my watch. I called Patrick and told him to get here. Hugo’s gone mad. Rebecca is in trouble. Blah blah blah. Hopefully this night ends in bloodshed.

  HUGO

  It’s like Déjà vu. When I arrive it is hard to separate the women. I see two people on this ledge right now, Rebecca and my mother, and I don’t know which one to save and right now I feel like the little boy who watched his mother jump off a balcony and now I’m here again. A man hoping to stop a fifteen-year-old girl from falling to the same demise.

  “Rebecca,” I say and slowly I walk towards her.

  Her head turns and she stumbles a bit. “What do you want?” she quickly asks me. Her body is trembling.

  My heart is about to burst through my chest, but I have to stay cool. I have to be me, so I pull out my gold cigarette case and light one. She looks at me confused, too busy wondering why I’m so nonchalant to think of jumping.

  “What are you doing besides standing on the ledge of a very, very tall building?”

  She faces the ground again. I inhale and exhale as she wraps her grey cardigan around herself. Her green pajama bottoms are rolled up to her knees and she doesn’t have on any shoes.

  “At least my mother was well dressed when she dropped,” I say and her head faces me again.

  “What did you just say to me?”

  “Jewelry, white dress, hair done. She was determined to jump. You don’t even seem like you showered.”

  “Wow… you really are an asshole.”

  “Yes. I am.”

  “This is what you wanted, right? You told me! It’s my fault. I wanted it!”

  She thinks I sent the picture. Of course Scarlett has set this course. I’m pretty sure Golden boy fiancé is on his way and she can’t wait. If Rebecca jumps, Scarlett will pick up the pieces and Patrick
will be entirely devoted to her.

  “I’m sorry.” I say what I should’ve said a long time ago.

  “You’re sorry?! Sorry for what? Sleeping with me or making fun of me or sending me that picture? For what?!” The more she yells, the closer she is to falling by fucking accident.

  “For everything,” I truthfully say and begin to walk closer. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t the one who came that night when you and Scarlett were alone. Because if I was there… you wouldn’t of been victimized and treated horribly like you were. I’m sorry that when you came to me and asked me what happened that night… that out of this spite and hatred for Scarlett I just made it worse for you. The unfavorable truth I gave you made me no better than the woman who prides herself in hurting others. Made me no better than your mother who might love you but unfortunately just like my mother… they just couldn’t love us past their bullshit. It wasn’t your fault. You’re a girl who deserves nothing like the way you have been treated by us.”

  Harsh laughter comes out of her. “You really expect me to believe that you of all people really came up here to give me some bullshit speech on how I’m better than this? How do you know anything? You don’t know anything! You don’t know what it’s like. To do what you’re told and to have to question yourself everyday about how your life is going to work out… I feel like every day my life becomes more and more of a hole of nothing but shit and I’m drowning in shit!”

  “That’s a disgusting visual… but I can understand that.” I put out my cigarette and walk closer.

  “Don’t come near me! If you do, I will definitely jump.”

  “Then what? ... Your mother will slowly deteriorate in guilt and despair… her life will become nothing but if onlys. If only she had just talked to you herself. And your brothers? Patrick? He needs you. I once thought about killing myself. I’ve never told anyone that. I was ten. Ten years old and I wanted to die because I thought my life would be just as miserable as the people around me, but my brothers needed me. My brother August needed me. Rebecca, I’m not a hero or a good person. I’m just someone who once saw his mother give up and whose brother did the same thing and I’m just… I’m just tired of people dying on me by choice. Cancer, car accident—give me anything besides the choice to die willingly.”