Jamie set his menu down and sat back. “And that’s not right, Fin. You shouldn’t ever doubt for one minute that he wants you. Even if he had good reasons to wait, he ought to have a damned app on his phone counting down the days or something.” He shook his head. “You should know how he feels. You should be hearing it.”
Finley looked down, staring at the menu unseeingly. “I know you’re right. I don’t know if it’s….” He paused and glanced around, dropping his voice. “I don’t know if it’s the bond or something else that makes this… so hard.”
A hand slid into his view, tilting his head up. “I shouldn’t have brought this up. Not on our date. I’m sorry. For what it’s worth, I was looking forward to tonight. I like you. I’d like to spend time with you.”
Finley swallowed, determined to put Tanner and the confusion away and just try to enjoy the dinner. “Thanks. I was looking forward to tonight too. So… the steak sandwich?”
Chapter Seven
“LIKE I said, not a lot of places around here. But it’s not bad,” Jamie said as he held the door open for Finley.
Finley shook his head. “No, I liked it.”
“The theater’s only a block up. Wanna just walk?”
“Sure.” Finley nodded, and they turned down the sidewalk.
They walked in silence for a little while, Finley lost in his own head. He wondered if he should take Jamie’s hand. He wondered if Jamie was waiting to let him make that move, or if Jamie just didn’t want to. He felt like an idiot, with no idea how to deal with a simple date.
“This is going to sound totally middle school but… can I hold your hand?” Jamie asked.
Finley looked up, smiling. “Well, I was just wondering if you were waiting or what.” He held his hand out.
Jamie took it as they stepped out into the street. Finley was a little disappointed that he didn’t feel anything special, certainly not like when he held Tanner’s hand. He was relieved to know it didn’t make him physically uncomfortable, at least. But it was just hand-holding.
“Hmmm. Maleficent, X-Men, or Edge of Tomorrow?” Jamie asked.
Finley looked up, blinking at the theater box office, a little surprised he’d missed the last half block. “Oh, hm…. X-Men?”
Jamie shrugged a shoulder. “Works for me.”
He let go of Finley’s hand only long enough to pay for the tickets and go inside. As soon as they were in the lobby, he took it again. “Popcorn? Drink?”
Finley nodded. “Let me get this, though.”
Jamie grinned. “Okay,” he said, dragging out the word.
With a laugh, Finley took out his wallet as they stepped up to the counter. “The big one. With refills,” he told the guy. “And two large Pepsis.”
They couldn’t hold hands into the theater; they had too much to carry. They found good seats and settled back. “You know, the only thing that bothers me about this place is the speakers.” He took something out of his pocket and held it out to Finley. It was a pair of foam earplugs. “Too loud. They kill my ears.”
“Oh, thank you. I forgot about them. I usually wear them at home.”
Jamie stuffed one into his left ear, but left the right one clear. “’Til the sound kicks in,” he said, smiling. He took Finley’s free hand, then said, “So, tell me about Kid A and Kid B.”
Finley laughed. “My sisters are crazy.”
“URGH. WHY do they have to deviate so much from the comics?” Finley asked as he dropped the empty popcorn container in the garbage.
“I don’t know. Maybe they just didn’t think anyone but Wolverine would sell tickets? Hugh Jackman is hot,” Jamie replied, taking Finley’s hand as they headed out of the theater.
“Well, you won’t get an argument from me over that,” Finley said, fanning himself and making Jamie laugh. “In fact, he’s the sole thing that saves one of the werewolf movies I like to watch. I mean, he does better as a mutant with claws than the guy hunting supernatural creatures.” He shrugged a shoulder. “I think it was more the director and writer than Jackman himself.” Jamie nodded. “Anyway….” Finley paused and blushed as he realized he was going on. Jamie just grinned at him. He cleared his throat. “They have to know the comic book geeks are going to get pissed.”
“Yeah. I guess they don’t much care. We still spend our money on the tickets, you know? And they get the ones who aren’t geeks.”
Finley nodded. “True.”
“So, how about some ice cream?” Jamie asked when they got back to the car.
“Oh, I’d like that.” Jamie opened his door again, and Finley slid into his seat. He waited until Jamie was in the car and starting it, then asked, “Is Hought’s still open?”
“Oh yeah! Great stuff. Just don’t know if we should hold hands inside.”
Finley sighed. “That’s okay. We can take it with us.” He shook his head. “You know…. Oregon’s a lot more open than some places, but I guess even it has issues.”
“Yeah, well, there are assholes everywhere,” Jamie replied.
Finley studied him for a long moment. “That sounds personal.”
Jamie glanced over. “I’ll tell you when we get our ice cream.”
Finley reached out and took Jamie’s hand, and Jamie shot him a smile, continuing to drive one-handed. He even managed to park without letting go. A little while later, they were studying the menu.
“Are you going to laugh at me if I want mint chip?”
Jamie grinned. “Not if you don’t laugh at me over death by chocolate.”
“Good thing chocolate isn’t a problem for us,” Finley said, laughing.
Jamie snorted. “Isn’t for them either, not quite like they’d have you believe.”
Finley insisted on paying, and once they had their cones in hand, they wandered out and took one of the small wrought iron cafe tables on the side.
“So… there’s a reason I came this far to go to a college that doesn’t even have my chosen major.”
Finley nodded. “I gathered that.”
“My father disowned me when I came out.”
Finley winced. “I’m sorry. I can’t begin to imagine.” He took a bite of his ice cream. “I actually didn’t get a chance to come out to my folks. Tanner sort of blurted out that we were mates right after we met.”
Jamie’s eyes widened. “Oh shit, you’re kidding.”
Finley shook his head. “Nope. It was actually kind of funny. I already had a feeling they’d be okay with it. And Alpha Noah had already known his son was gay, so….”
“I’m glad for you. I was told in no uncertain terms that unless I get my head on straight and quit that ‘weird gay shit,’ that I wasn’t welcome back home.”
“Gods, that sucks. I’m so sorry.” Finley frowned. “And that is so lame and not nearly enough to say to something like that.”
Jamie shook his head. “Naw. It’s okay. What can you say, you know? My alpha, Pat, didn’t really agree with my dad. But he can’t force my dad to accept me, you know?” Finley nodded. “Dad petitioned to have me banished, but Alpha Pat put his foot down and refused. So, I can go back, but I don’t want to. Especially with my mom agreeing with him. Or, well, not arguing.”
“Yeah, I don’t blame you. I’m sorry you went through that.”
“Well, I got to meet you, because of it.” He smiled, though it was a little sad.
“There’s a silver lining. Maybe.” Finley snorted.
Jamie laughed. “Yeah, that it is.” He looked up at the moon. “Full moon in a couple of days.”
“Yeah. I’m looking forward to it. I’ve felt a lot better in wolf form lately.”
“I can understand. After my dad kicked me out, I spent more than a week in the forests around Hood.” He finished his cone and wiped his face with a napkin before speaking again. “I know it’s soon, and you just did the other day, but do you want to go run?”
Finley grinned. “I’d love to. Ever been to the forest to the south?”
“Not ye
t,” Jamie said, standing.
“Oh, let’s go. It’s denser. I know a great parking spot.”
Jamie grinned. “Can’t wait.”
HALF AN hour later, they stood outside the car, far away from the lights of La Grande. The moon shone bright on the little grassy clearing they’d parked in, and Finley, for the first time ever, was nervous about stripping his clothes off. He tried not to think about it as he kicked his shoes off and put them in the trunk, then unbuttoned his shirt.
He couldn’t, however, resist watching Jamie strip. Jamie didn’t seem to mind watching him either, and the heat in Jamie’s eyes melted Finley’s nerves. He pulled his shirt off and tossed it in on top of his shoes, then added his socks to the pile.
He hesitated briefly at his jeans. Jamie had been mirroring him up to this point, and those and underwear were all they both had left. Forcing the last of his nerves away, Finley unbuttoned, unzipped, and pushed his down his legs. When he stood, Jamie was just as naked.
He couldn’t stop the initial comparison. Where Jamie was lean and toned, Tanner was muscular and powerful. Tanner stood a good two inches taller than Finley, but Jamie looked to be the exact same height. Still, Jamie wasn’t bad to look at, not by a long shot.
Finley swallowed around his dry throat at the look on Jamie’s face. Jamie stepped forward and reached out, but hesitated. Finley pushed back the thought that he was cheating—he wasn’t. He wasn’t doing anything yet, and even if he did, he’d told Tanner how to stop this. Tanner hadn’t so much as peeped at him to not date someone else.
He took Jamie’s hand and put it on his chest, then ran his own fingers lightly over one of Jamie’s pectorals. Tanner had chest hair, and Finley had always liked the look of it. But Jamie was smooth, though he didn’t feel bad, at least.
Jamie slid his hand around Finley’s waist and gently tugged. Finley stepped in until they were against each other, skin to skin. It felt so good to simply feel. He continued to touch, running his hands over the skin and muscles, thumbing Jamie’s nipples and earning himself a gasp. He liked that, liked knowing he’d given pleasure. He enjoyed being able to explore another man’s chest, liked having the freedom to do that.
His wolf wasn’t so sure about it. It whined in his head, reminding him this wasn’t their mate. He tried to push his wolf away, reminding him their mate didn’t want them.
His wolf wasn’t quite ready to accept that, though.
Still, Finley managed to ignore it for the moment. Especially when Jamie’s hands slid over his back and down, cupping his ass. Finley’s cock filled then, and he felt Jamie’s harden in answer.
“Ohh,” Finley whispered, looking up into the blue eyes, watching as they bled to black. Just the image, the evidence of Jamie’s arousal, was enough to make Finley’s own vision turn to grays. He could see the tiniest peek of Jamie’s teeth extending, and Finley swallowed, managing to find his voice. “Don’t… no biting.”
Jamie shook his head. “No, I won’t.” He bent and kissed Finley’s neck with lips only, and Finley couldn’t hold in a gasp as they trailed over his skin from the base to just behind his ear.
His wolf whined at him again, and Finley had to struggle harder to focus. He wanted this! He was with someone who wanted him! He should be able to just enjoy that. With effort, he forced the wolf back once more and tilted his head to leave his own kiss on Jamie’s skin, careful to keep his fangs away.
Jamie moaned and rocked into him, both their cocks now quite hard. Precum leaked, adding a glide to it that sent sparks of feeling straight to Finley’s balls. The friction of their cocks, Jamie’s hands on his ass, mouth on his neck, it all felt amazing physically, even as he had to fight harder against his wolf.
Not mate.
His wolf kept pushing the idea at him, and despite himself, Tanner’s face flashed into his mind again.
“No,” he whimpered, trying to shove the image away. “Please….” In pure desperation, Finley dove in and caught Jamie’s lips in a kiss. Jamie rocked into him, their cocks grinding harder, the friction feeling so incredible. He didn’t hesitate when Jamie’s mouth opened immediately, and he pushed his tongue in, sliding it along Jamie’s. Jamie tasted good, and more than one moan split the air this time, sounds coming from both of them.
But Jamie wasn’t Tanner. Finley’s heart thumped hard, a sense of wrongness filling him, and he tore his mouth away from Jamie’s.
“I… can’t,” he managed, voice breaking on the last word and dropping to his knees. Pain shot through him at the unfairness of it all, and he dropped his face into his hands. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Gods, I’m so sorry,” he moaned. “I can’t. It’s not fair… but I can’t… and I’m sorry!”
“Shhh,” Jamie whispered, putting an arm around him. “It’s okay, shh.”
Finley only felt worse at having Jamie comforting him. “I’m an ass,” he bit off, caught between anger at himself and near despair. He struggled with them both, but the despair won, and the first tears slid down his cheeks. “He doesn’t… and yet I can’t… and I just, fuck, what kind of horrible person am I?”
“Hey, none of that,” Jamie said, hugging him closer. “We both knew it was a possibility that you couldn’t,” he murmured. “It’s okay.” He kissed Finley on the temple, rubbing one hand over arm and shoulder, the other brushing at Finley’s hair, all the while whispering wordless comfort.
Finley accepted it, letting it calm him—and his wolf, now that nothing was happening—and finally pulled himself together. He sat back, scrubbing at his face. “I’m sorry. I ruined our date.”
Jamie actually chuckled, making Finley look up. “You didn’t ruin it. I still enjoyed the rest.”
Finley couldn’t help but smile at that. “Thanks. I enjoyed it too.” He sighed, rubbing his hands over his face again. “You know what sucks the most?”
“Hmm?”
“You are the first guy I’ve touched like that. I’m an eighteen-year-old virgin with the biggest fucking case of blue balls in the state.” He glared down at his lap, at the erection that hadn’t gone away, despite the emotion.
Jamie laughed. “I totally get it.”
Finley felt his smile steady. “I still feel bad.” He sent a pointed look at Jamie’s still-hard dick.
Jamie raised his eyebrows and looked at him for a long moment before speaking. “We could always jack off together. You watch porn, right?”
Finley nodded. “Yeah….”
“Your wolf doesn’t have a problem with that, does he?”
Finley considered it for a little bit, probing his wolf. Normally, no, his wolf had no problem with him watching porn. He didn’t know if this was different, though, and he was not about to get started on something all over again only to have his wolf freak out on him. Seemed his wolf had had enough interfering for now, though Finley held no illusions that if he tried to kiss Jamie, his wolf wouldn’t have a fit. However, porn—watching—seemed okay. “Seems like that would be fine.”
Jamie grinned. “Good. Come here.” He tilted his head away from the car. “Let’s get a little more comfortable.” He stood up and leaned into the trunk, coming back with a blanket, which he spread on the grass. They settled in next to each other, close enough they could touch, but Jamie didn’t. He wrapped his hand around his own cock, and Finley mirrored him.
As horny as Finley was, as ridiculously worked up as he’d gotten earlier from a few kisses and touches, it took him an embarrassingly short amount of time to start leaking precum again. He let himself moan, though, especially when he saw the tip of Jamie’s cock was just as wet as his own was.
That appeared to turn Jamie on more, and his hand moved faster. From that moment, their pleasure seemed to feed off each other, even if they weren’t touching. What could only be a few minutes later, Finley knew he was about to go off. He gritted his teeth to hold in the shout, not knowing what would come out. The pleasure hit, hard, more than his normal solo endeavors ever gave him. The orgasm flew through him an
d yanked the cum from his balls, shooting across the short distance to cover Jamie’s hand.
Then Jamie did the hottest thing. He took Finley’s cum and used it to ease his hand as he brought himself off.
Finley’s cock twitched at the sight, and he moaned a soft, “Oh fuck.” He couldn’t tear his eyes away from Jamie’s climax: eyes squeezed shut, cock shooting thick ropes of cum over Jamie’s stomach and chest. The thought rolled around in his head, making him feel good that he was at least partially responsible for someone else’s orgasm for the first time in his life.
His wolf rumbled at him, pushing Tanner’s face back to the forefront of his mind. Finley flopped back onto the blanket, glancing over at Jamie to make sure his friend didn’t think he was mad or anything. Jamie seemed occupied enough with calming himself down.
Finley looked up at the stars, trying to figure out how he felt. Frustrated—for once not sexually—angry, hurt, annoyed. “It’s not fair,” he whispered. He sounded petulant, he knew it, but he couldn’t help it.
“I know. It’s not.” Jamie touched Finley’s cheek, and Finley looked over to see his friend leaning close. “I’m sorry for it. For what it’s worth, that was a damned good orgasm. Hotter because you were watching. And when you came on me? Oh fuck, yeah.”
Finley looked over at him and grinned. “Yeah?” Jamie nodded. “Good. Yeah, it was for me too. So thanks. And… glad I could help.”
“Me too. I offer my services anytime.” Jamie grinned too.
Finley laughed.
Jamie sobered. “Listen, though. If… if you don’t want to go back to him, I can be patient. I’ll do what I can to help you through it, find a way to make it all work. I don’t know how it works, what you’ll have to do, but I’ll help. If you do want to go back to him, well, I’d be happy to take over as best friend, at least.”
Finley swallowed. “You’re too good, Jamie. But… that means a lot.”
Jamie shrugged a shoulder, looking down at the blanket and playing with a loose thread. “I’m not good, Fin. I have to admit, I kind of wish he wouldn’t claim you.” He looked up again, blue eyes serious. “I would. I’d claim you, mate with you. I like you. And I think we could make good mates.” He paused briefly. “I think we could love each other.”
Devotion Page 9
