Aja and I are running through some scales when Chink walks back into the studio with Mr. J, the founder and President of illADELPHIA RECORDS and the man who helped raise me. A mega-watt smile immediately spreads across my face.
“What are you doing here?” I ask giving him a hug.
“Hey pumpkin. It’s been a long time,” he says embracing me.
“What are you doing here?” I ask again.
“Chink said that you got something powerful, so I hopped on the jet to see what you got going on.” He pushes the playback button on the board.
“Well?” I ask.
“Definitely,” he smiles listening to the music. “Your voice though…”
“We’re working on it,” Aja interrupts.
“Okay. I’m on board. Is this just a single or do you have more?”
“I don’t know,” I answer honestly. Sure, I have a lot more to say but the question is, am I ready to put myself back out there again?
“Well, let’s see how far we get. With all of us together, we may be able to knock out an album.”
“You’re kind of pushing it, don’t you think?” I laugh.
“It’s been almost three years. I know you got something great in you.”
We work on “Forever” for the remainder of the afternoon with many breaks in between. Around 9pm, Mr. J gets an emergency call from a potential artist he’s been scouting. He excuses himself from our session with the promise of returning soon.
“You really don’t have to be here. I am only recording this one song,” I tell him, yelling over the sounds of the chopper.
“I want to be here. As soon as I lock this deal up in Tennessee, I will be back,” he yells giving me a hug and kiss before climbing in.
I run back inside and into the studio sitting next to Chink.
“Who’s the artist?” I inquire wondering why Mr. J is the one who is closing the deal.
“Tron,” Chink replies.
“Who?”
“Some new rap artist we found on YouTube. He’s pretty dope. You should listen to his stuff.”
“No thank you. I have no interests in this new age rap.”
“That’s just it. He’s young but has that old school hip-hop, feel good vibe to him,” Chink says pulling up Tron’s SoundCloud profile.
“He’s a cutie,” I smile looking at his profile. “He won’t be hard to market at all. Ladies are gonna love him.”
“Maybe you two can work together.”
“I’m not back fully, Chink,” I remind him jumping out of my seat. “I’m going to bed,” I yawn. “I’ve had a long day.”
“You remember where your room is right?” Chink asks.
“Yeah, I remember,” I reply walking out the studio. I collect Biggie, check on Aunt Ruthie, and take refuge in one of the guest rooms. As soon as my body hits the mattress, I immediately fall asleep.
The sound of my phone ringing breaks my rest.
“Hello,” I answer groggily.
“Aneesah! It’s me, Dani,” she says. I sit quietly for a moment, thinking about my friend or, is she really my friend? I think about all the drunken, high times we shared together, and I think about how if it wasn’t for her, Nyce would still be here with me. She is the one who technically turned me onto drugs and helped feed my habit; however, I do have a mind of my own and she never forced me to do anything that I didn’t want to. I made every stupid decision on my own. I knew what the consequences were and decided to do it anyway.
“Please don’t hate me,” she cries.
“I don’t hate you, Dani,” I reply, though I probably should.
“So, you’re not mad at me?”
“No. Not anymore,” I tell her, deciding to let go of the anger I feel towards her.
“And your test came back negative?”
“Yes.”
“Oh good. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself,” she exhales.
Silence.
“How are you Dani? Why did you leave rehab again?” I ask. I still keep in touch with Dani’s father, Judge Rodriquez. He called me a few nights ago to inform me that Dani checked herself out from the latest rehab facility that she was registered in. According to him, he’s done worrying about her. She has burned and embarrassed him for the last time and his heart can’t take anymore.
“I’m okay, I guess. My dad isn’t talking to me,” she mumbles.
“I know. Give him some time. Are you taking your meds?” I ask with concern. I feel bad for Dani. I mean, really bad. To be 26, fighting a drug addiction and diagnosed with HIV, it’s a wonder how she’s even sane.
“When I remember,” she laughs.
“That’s not cool Dani. Where are you?”
“Um…Chicago.”
“Chicago? What are you doing out there?”
“I don’t know. I just ended up here,” she says sounding pathetic.
“Come to Atlanta to see me. I’m staying with Chink. I am sure that he will be happy to see you. He asks about you all the time,” I inform her thinking that Chink has a perverted schoolboy crush on her. “Let us help you, Dani.” Despite it all, she is my friend and if Nyce was able to clean me up, then maybe I can help Dani clean up. Maybe if she sees me sober, it will inspire her to become sober as well.
“Really? I mean, I really miss you. Are you sure you want me to come?”
“Yeah! Come on,” I assure her before hanging up.
When I wake up the next morning, I walk down into the kitchen, greeting Aunt Ruthie.
“Good morning,” I smile, giving her a kiss on the cheek and stealing a piece of turkey sausage.
“You’re looking healthy and happy,” Aunt Ruthie says noticing my glow.
“I am. I stepped on a scale. I’m 145 pounds and I can’t fit my size four jeans anymore,” I tell her excited that I look more like a healthy normal person instead of the anorexic crackhead I was looking like.
“Thank you for all that you’ve done for me and whenever you want to go back home, it’s just a phone call away.”
“Aneesah, you’re family despite you not being with nephew,” she smiles, placing her soft hand on my cheek.
“I’m gonna get him back,” I announce with much confidence and then hit the high note that I was struggling on from the song. She smiles.
“That was quite beautiful, but I don’t want you to get your hopes up, okay?”
“Why would I be getting my hopes up? We’re just having a little hiccup. He loves me, and I love him and neither one of us can run from that.”
“A man’s love is different than a woman’s love. We are easy to forgive. Men are not. Despite how Jimmy may feel about you, you hurt him and for that, his ego and pride may not allow him to do what his heart wants him to,” she says softly.
“I made a mistake. You guys are acting like I cheated on him or something. He cheated on me,” I remind her, slightly annoyed that she’s not seeing the picture I see.
“Aneesah, the mistake you made was not a little mistake. Honestly, I would rather have someone tell me that they cheated than to tell me that I might possibly have HIV. Think about it. That was not a small mess up.”
I take a deep breath.
“I know but I believe in us. I loved him since I was nineteen. I loved him from the moment I laid eyes on him. He is it for me. I see no one else,” I confess.
“I can tell that you are a poet and a hopeless romantic,” she laughs before turning her attention back to the stove. Chink and Aja enter the kitchen. Aunt Ruthie hands them each a plate as they smile brightly before taking a seat at the table.
“You can’t be cooking like this Aunt Ruthie or else nobody is going to be gettin’ any work done,” Chink says shoveling french toast into his mouth.
“Yes, I think I just gained five pounds,” Aja chimes in. The doorbell rings.
“I’ll get it. It’s probably Dani,” I inform them getting up. I open the door and my jaw hits the floor. It is indeed Dani but not the young Olivia Munn look alike that I know and remember
. Instead, I am staring at a dingy, run-down version of a woman in designer clothes.
“Well, are you going to invite me in?” She sniffs.
“Yeah. Sorry,” I reply stepping aside while trying to hold back my tears.
“What happened, Dani?” I finally ask. I couldn’t hold it in.
“Shooting up heroin is a killer,” she shrugs, holding out her arms and showing me her track marks.
“Dani, why? Why did you leave rehab? You were doing so well.”
“What difference does it make? I’m going to die anyway,” she says nonchalantly stepping around me. “Damn this place is huge. You sure no one is going to mind me being here?”
“No. Are you hungry?” I ask helping her with her bags.
“Starving but could you show me to the bathroom? I’d like to shower first.”
I walk her to the bedroom she will be occupying during her stay. While she’s in the shower, I return to the kitchen.
“Dani’s here,” I announce.
“Oh, how is my baby girl?” Chink asks. “I haven’t seen her in a minute,” he smiles.
“Not good, Chink,” I sigh. I brief them on Dani’s situation as Aunt Ruthie volunteers her services in helping her to recover.
“Heroin is a different monster,” Aunt Ruthie advises shaking her head. “It’s a beast that is hard to kill but I will certainly try.”
“Me too,” Chink volunteers to my surprise.
As promised, Dani works on her sobriety as I work on my music. Only 3 days has passed and having Dani here is exhausting. Her erratic outbursts are driving me insane. I hope I wasn’t this bad when I was recovering from my own addiction.
“I’m sorry for bringing this into your home, Chink,” I apologize while changing Dani’s sheets. I don’t understand why Chink is being so helpful and chill about it.
“It’s cool. I had a brother who was addicted to that shit; brings back memories,” he chuckles.
“What happened to your brother?”
“He OD’d when I was eighteen. That horse is a motherfucker.”
“From what you see, from what you remember, is Dani going to make it?”
“That depends on her just like any addiction.”
The following day I walk inside Dani’s room to find her gone. There’s an apology letter along with a thank you note sitting on the desk. I stare at the letter upset that we couldn’t save her. I couldn’t save her however, not even on some selfish shit, with Dani gone, we can now get back to concentrating on the music.
Chink and I are currently in the studio, finishing up “Forever”.
“I think we got it. Just need to put the background vocals to it and then we’re golden. This song is going to be huge,” Chink smiles. I look down at my phone and see that I have 12 missed calls from Pree. I start to text her that I am in the studio when “CALL ME ASAP,” glides across my screen.
“I’m going to take a break. We can do the background vocals when I come back,” I tell Chink stepping out of the sound booth. I walk upstairs into the kitchen to make a cup of tea.
“What up, hoe?” I greet my best friend and sister for life when she answers the phone.
“Chick, answer your fuckin’ phone when I call you,” she snaps.
“My bad. What’s the emergency? Is something wrong?”
“Um…I need you to come home,” she hesitates.
“What’s wrong?” I ask alarmed.
“Um…I’m pregnant so I need you to come and be with me.”
“Congratulations. How far are you?”
“About twelve weeks.”
“Is there something wrong with the baby, Pree?” I ask with my heart pounding out of my chest. Please God let my niece or nephew be okay.
“No, no, everything is fine. I just want to see my best friend. I miss you. Please come home.”
“What aren’t you telling me? Spill it.”
“Okay! Are you sitting down?”
“Spill it, damn it,” I snap.
“Um…it’s Nyce.”
“What? No…noooooo. Nyce is fine. He’s alive and well.” I start to laugh hysterically like a fuckin’ lunatic because I don’t give a damn what Pree says, Nyce is fine.
“Yes, he’s fine. He’s alive and well,” Pree states.
“WHAT THE FUCK, PREE?” I yell pissed that she’s got me all upset for nothing.
“Um…,” she hesitates.
“CAPREE,” I shout, now fully annoyed.
“He’s married, Aneesah,” she blurts.
“What?” I ask confused.
“Married,” she whispers.
“Wait…wait…he’s getting married or he is married? Like he said I do and the girl has his last name and stuff? Are you fuckin’ with me right now?”
“He’s married, married. We don’t know what happened. He came here after y’all broke up and we kept asking him what happened, but he wouldn’t talk to us about it and you wasn’t answering your phone. He kept mumbling that it’s over between you two but never gave Knuck and I an explanation and he looked so miserable and lonely, and then one day he snapped and said that he had to get away, so he leaves and told Knuck he was going to Vegas and then he came here last night, back from his trip and he brings some Phyllis Hyman looking bitch here talking about this is his wife and I’m like what the fuck? And Knuck is like what the fuck? And nobody can explain shit,” Pree says all in one breath.
“Tori,” I whisper.
“Yes…yes…that’s her name. Wait? How did you know?”
“She’s part of the reason why we went on vacation.”
“Okay, so now come home and get your man.”
“No. I’m done,” I tell her, wiping my tears.
“No? What do you mean no?”
“I mean no. He doesn’t want me anymore and I’m done. I thought I had time to fix us but…” I sigh, trying to choke back my tears. “I no longer have the strength in me to do this with him. I’ve been chasing him for way too long and I’m exhausted. I’m done. So many wasted years of my tears and I’m finally done,” I ramble, head spinning, trying to process this shit.
“What happened between you two, Aneesah?”
“Tudy,” Knuck shouts through the phone. “Look…he’s on some other shit right now. Come home, Ma. I don’t know what happened with y’all but fix this shit. This niggah just lost his fuckin’ mind. I’ve known him for over twenty years and this ain’t him. Come home.”
“No, Knuck. I can’t fix this. Y’all are coming at me like I did something wrong. He should be coming to chase me and not the other way around. I’M DONE,” I scream hanging up.
“SON OF A BITCH,” I yell. My phone starts to ring again. This time it’s my assistant Larin.
“Hello?” I answer with attitude. I only answered the phone because Larin never calls so something has to be seriously wrong.
“Am I fired?” She whispers into the phone.
“Larin, what are you talking about?”
“Well, some woman just fired me and the whole staff at the club.”
“WHAT?”
“Some woman called and said that I was fired, and they are revamping the club. What’s going on?”
“You’re not fired. Tell everyone that I will talk to them when I get back to Philly,” I tell her hanging up.
“This niggah done lost his fuckin’ mind,” I snap taking a seat at the table about to dial his number.
“This just came for you,” Aunt Ruthie says before I hit the call button. She hands me the FEDEX envelope with the return address being from James Hennessey. I open it and inside is the deed to our house. Nyce has signed the house over into my name. I look through the other papers and find a check for $10 million dollars and papers on the club as well.
“This mothafucka is trying to buy me out,” I say enraged. I am to get $10 million dollars and our home in exchange for the club. A club that I kept afloat by myself while he was locked the fuck up. A club, despite him not putting one cent towards it during t
he six years he was locked up, I still gave him his cut when he was released from prison.
“THAT STUPID SON OF A BITCH,” I scream, throwing my phone and watching it shatter against the wall.
“AFTER ALL I FUCKIN’ DONE,” I shout as tears of anger and rage stream down my face. Aunt Ruthie starts to say something, but I storm out of the kitchen and walk over to the bar area, grabbing a bottle of Remy off the shelf.
“Don’t. That’s not how you handle things,” Aunt Ruthie says coming up behind me.
“You know?” I ask tearfully.
“He called a few days ago and said that he wanted to send you something, so I gave him the address here. I had no idea that this would be the outcome. Annette called me in confusion last night and told me about the girl. He’s not returning anyone’s calls,” she says referring to his mother, Miss Annette.
“What did I do for him to discard me like this?” I cry.
“Hand me the bottle.”
“I AM NOT A RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC,” I yell popping the bottle open and taking a gulp as the liquor burns my chest.
“Aneesah,” she says calmly.
“HERE,” I shout pretending to hand her the bottle before running around her and bolting up the stairs. Aunt Ruthie is on my heels as I dodge inside Chink’s master bedroom locking myself in. She bangs on the door, yelling my name.
“Just go away,” I whisper, sliding down the door. I sit with my back against the door drinking out of the bottle. When I start to feel the effects of the alcohol, I stand up and walk around the room. I stare at Chink’s Grammy collection and gaze at the Grammy we won for “For Him”, a song that I written and dedicated to Nyce.
“SON OF A BITCH,” I yell, picking up the Grammy and throwing it against the wall.
“STOP BREAKING MY SHIT,” Chink’s voice flutters into the room. I look up at the security camera by the door and give him the finger before taking my shirt off and putting it over the lens.
“How could he do this to me?” I cry, taking another gulp out of the bottle and walking over to the piano taking a seat at the bench. I sift through Chink’s scale sheets that he’s working on until I come across one that has soft G major notes. I press record on the little recorder and let my fingers glide across the keys playing the slow, sad, heart-wrenching melody, loving the way it sounds as it plays on my emotions. I close my eyes and open my mouth, letting the melody take me away as the lyrics come to me effortlessly.
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