by K'wan
Of course, Maureen didn’t approve of Shadow’s infatuation with Voodoo. Though they were from the same block, Maureen thought the girl’s pedigree disqualified her from dating her baby boy. Voodoo was from a poor Haitian family, dressed in hand-me-down clothes, and spoke with a thick accent, which wore down with time. Maureen looked at everything like a business arrangement, including who her children dated; neither Voodoo nor her family had anything to offer the Kings. But Maureen’s disapproval didn’t stop Shadow in his pursuit.
Shadow and Voodoo started out by humping on the playground and eventually graduated to giving each other their virginity. (Shadow wasn’t a virgin, actually, but he let her believe he was.) Even when the Kings moved out of the hood, Shadow and Voodoo continued to see each other. It was never anything official, but they held special places in each other’s hearts. Until Shadow broke hers.
One night, Shadow and some of his white friends from high school were at a college party at Temple University, getting wasted. It was his first and last time experimenting with molly. At the party, he ran into a girl from his old neighborhood. He only knew her by her face, but it was her ass that had his attention that night. One thing led to another and soon Shadow had her bent over a laundry hamper in one of the bathrooms digging for gold in her pussy. Shadow and Voodoo weren’t exclusive, but he was still wrong for sleeping with a girl from their neighborhood. It had been too close to home, yet his drugged-out brain told him that since he’d done it in another state, it didn’t count. Besides, with the girl going to school all the way in Philadelphia, at least a hundred miles from Brooklyn, there was no way that Voodoo would ever find out—right?
It took only a week for shit to hit the fan. Apparently, the girl had taken offense to Shadow ghosting her after getting the goodies, so she started running her mouth to her friends back in Brooklyn about her sexual escapade with the prince of Five Points. She even gassed it up, making it seem like it was some ongoing thing, instead of him just smashing and then dismissing her. Word eventually got back to Voodoo, which led to her and two of her homegirls taking the ride down to Philly and beating the dog shit out of the girl on campus. Voodoo almost went to jail over that.
Shadow had avoided Voodoo for a week after he got word of what went down, but he couldn’t duck her forever. When she finally confronted him, his first reaction was to lie. He tried spinning some story about the girl trying to fuck him and him shooting her down. He was such a convincing liar that had it been anybody other than Voodoo, he might’ve successfully convinced her. Alas, just as he knew Voodoo’s heart, she knew his and saw right through the lie. That night, they parted over hostile words; it was the last time they’d spoken. Had Shadow been thinking, he’d have just accepted responsibility for what he’d done and apologized to Voodoo, but his ego wouldn’t allow it. He was a King. By the time his heart started to ache from missing her and he reached out in reconciliation, it was too late. Voodoo had blocked his number and he was too much of a player to try to call her from a different phone. The last he’d heard, Voodoo had moved out of her parents’ apartment. He had the resources to track her down if he wanted to, but he’d let it be. He’d heard through the grapevine that she’d moved into a loft somewhere in Williamsburg and was dating a square dude who worked at a bank.
“You still on that, huh?” Shadow rediscovered his voice. “Can’t get over what happened?”
“I’m never not going to be on that,” Voodoo replied. “That shit was foul, Shadow.”
“Yeah, it was,” he said. “What I did to you was fucked up on so many levels that even now I’m still not really sure what to say.”
“You can start with an apology.”
“I’m sorry.”
“And that’s all I ever wanted. It’s just too bad it took you this long to say it to me.”
“What is time to two people who exist in their own space?” he said, reaching for her hand, which she pulled away.
“I stopped being the stars to your moon when you let the next bitch plant her flag,” Voodoo said, doing a poor job of masking the emotions in her voice. “I’m not trying to be rude, but I got somewhere to be.”
“What? That new nigga you fucking got you on a schedule?”
“I see you’re still the same old Shadow, worried about everything except what’s important. Not that it’s any of your business, but I don’t want to be late for work.”
“You got a job?” Shadow said with a chuckle. For as long as he’d known Voodoo, she always had a hustle, but never a job. “What happened to the pact we made as kids to never have to work to make the next man rich?”
“That pact, like most of the other silly shit I believed in, went out the window when I found myself by myself. Some of us don’t have wealthy relatives to fall back on.”
“That’s an easy fix. All you have to do is agree to be mine for all time,” Shadow said, extending his hand.
Voodoo looked at his hand. For as much as she wanted to take it, she knew she couldn’t. “You and I both know your mother ain’t trying to hear that. Maybe that’s the real reason you fucked that girl—because she’s got an education and I don’t. I know how the Kings feel about breeding and I don’t fit that mold.”
“They broke the mold after they made you,” Shadow responded.
“Oh, of this I am absolutely sure. They don’t build bitches like me anymore and they probably won’t anytime soon. Still, for all that I bring to the table, it wasn’t enough to satisfy you.”
“Don’t blame yourself for my greedy nature.”
“I wouldn’t and I don’t,” she said. “Not seeing a real queen when she was kneeling right in front of you was your bad, not mine, Your Highness. In the end your trash turned out to be someone else’s treasure, and for that I thank you. Take care of yourself, Shadow.” She started heading down the stairs into the train station.
“This is how we’re gonna leave it? You’re never gonna talk to me again?” Shadow called after her.
Voodoo stopped and turned back to him. “After the way you did me? I’ll never reach out to you, but who knows? I may decide to unblock your number one of these days. It’ll be up to you to keep calling and see if I did or not.”
“Damn, that’s cold, Voodoo.”
“Nah, lil’ nigga. That’s not cold, it’s game.” Voodoo disappeared into the train station.
Shadow waited until she was out of sight before letting a smile spread across his face. He had been skeptical about approaching her because he wasn’t sure what type of reception he would get. She handled him cold as hell, but the fact that she didn’t spit in his face and storm off meant that all wasn’t lost. Now he had a difficult decision to make: how long should he wait before blowing up her phone? He was without question going to call. He wanted that old thing back.
CHAPTER 10
By the time Shadow made it around the block and back to the avenue, Fresh was no longer at the bus stop. He spotted him in a thicket of hooligans in front of a bodega. His childhood friend was talking to a dude who Shadow knew by the name of Malice. Shadow knew what kind of man Malice was, and he also knew what kind of man Fresh wasn’t, so to see the two of them chatting raised an eyebrow. From Fresh’s body language, Shadow figured the conversation wasn’t friendly. When he saw Malice lift his shirt to flash something, he realized exactly how unfriendly it was.
Keeping his eye on the group of young men and one hand on the wheel, Shadow punched in a code on the radio dial (which his parents didn’t think he knew). The radio flashed twice as if it was about to power off and a secret compartment dropped down from under the glove box. Inside was a small derringer. It was his mother’s gun and held only two shots, but they’d have to be enough. Shadow didn’t want any smoke with the locals, though he was also uncomfortable sitting by and watching something happen to his friend.
Shadow then spotted another one of his chums, Pain, who made hurried steps from the other side of the street toward the confrontation. Shadow knew Pain’s temperame
nt, so if he got out of the car with his mother’s bullshit pistol and Pain saw it, that would only stoke the constantly burning fire in his friend’s violent brain. No matter how it went down, however, Shadow would have his friend’s back. He shoved his mother’s gun in his pocket and parked the car.
Just as Shadow exited the Benz, the tension seemed to dissolve. Whatever Pain said to Malice must’ve given him some food for thought. Malice now turned his attention to Shadow and his silver Mercedes.
“All hail the prince of Five Points! What’s good, Shadow?” Malice flashed a crocodile grin.
“Ain’t shit,” Shadow replied. “Just slid though the hood to check on my loved ones. We good out here?” He gave Pain a dap but stared straight at Malice.
“I think so. Are we good, Malice?” Fresh said with a smirk.
“Yeah, I guess you can breathe for now,” Malice responded. “Yo, Shadow, what’s up with your brother?”
“He’s chilling.”
“I bet,” Malice said. “Dig, I’ve been trying to link with your brother for a minute. We got some things to discuss, but I feel like the nigga is avoiding me like I got the cooties.”
Shadow shrugged. “Ghost moves how he moves. He’s a busy guy.”
“And I respect that, which is why I was thinking that maybe me and you can sit down? I run my angle down to you, and you can run it up the ladder.”
“I don’t get involved in that side of the family business.” Shadow raised his hands and stepped back as if Malice had just tried to hand him a pistol in front of the police.
“Shorty, you talking to me like I’m out here wired for sound. It ain’t even like that. You ain’t gotta play the good-kid role with me. I know it’s you who supplies these two knuckleheads with that bullshit cook-up they be out here trying to push. Next to the Clarks, the Kings are the best game in town and I’m just trying to get in where I fit in. I even come offering a gift, if you’ll just hear me out. Feel me?”
“I feel you, Malice, but I can’t help you,” Shadow said.
“So, it’s like that?”
“Afraid it can’t be no other way. When I see my brother, I’ll pass the word along that you’re trying to sit with him. Whether the feeling is mutual or not will all depend on Ghost. I can’t speak for him.” Shadow turned to his friends. “Y’all ready to boogie?” He was anxious to get away from Malice.
Fresh jumped into the passenger seat of the Benz, while Pain got in the back.
“Y’all fellas be well,” Shadow said to Malice and his crew, giving a mock salute as he got back in the driver’s seat.
“I could tell you the same, King Shadow,” Malice said. “It’s spooky in the neighborhood lately. These young boys on some real hungry shit and not all of them care where the meal comes from.”
“I grew up in a house full of predators,” Shadow replied without giving Malice the respect of looking at him as he spoke. “I think I’ll be okay.” He turned the ignition and peeled off with his friends.
Once Shadow’s Benz pulled away, one of Malice’s henchmen came up behind him and put a hand on his shoulder. “Can’t believe that pussy nigga was up on the ave trying to talk tough. He only popping shit because his brother is a shooter.”
“Shadow ain’t no tough guy, but he ain’t no pussy,” Malice said, watching the Benz turn the corner. “Quiet as he is, he’s probably the more dangerous of the brothers because he’s so damn sneaky. That kind of nigga can get you killed without ever having to touch a gun.”
* * *
“Damn, it ain’t even ten a.m. and y’all out here getting caught up in bullshit?” Shadow said to his friends as they pulled into traffic.
“It was this nigga who went and poked the bear.” Pain gestured at Fresh.
“I ain’t poke shit. I was checking that nigga about him being disrespectful. Let me tell you what he did.”
After Fresh gave Shadow and Pain the short version of what had gone down earlier, the friends fumed in the car, throwing insults at Malice.
“That’s some real sucker shit,” Pain said. “I should’ve blown that nigga open.” He rotated the razor over his tongue.
“And got your simple ass shot,” Shadow said to him. “Homie was foul for talking that slick shit, and I’m glad Fresh called him on it. He stood up for himself. On the flip side, Malice is a killer. When you get into it with dudes like that, you need to be prepared to go all the way with it.”
“And you saying I’m not willing?” Fresh said.
“If I didn’t think you were willing if it came to that, I wouldn’t keep company with you,” Shadow answered. “All I’m saying is that with dudes like Malice you have to be careful. He’s a petty, jealous-hearted nut. The type of dude who will catch you coming in the building on the late-night and pop you for some shit that might’ve happened between you two months prior. Dudes like him love to feel like they’re making an example of somebody just for the clout.”
“I hear you, Shadow,” Fresh said. “I know what Malice is about, and I don’t want no smoke with him, but I couldn’t let that shit ride.”
“So now what? Fresh is supposed to walk around on eggshells hoping that Malice ain’t holding a grudge?” Pain asked from the backseat. Shadow knew he was looking for an excuse to get active.
Shadow thought on the question for a moment before answering, “Nah, not at all. That shit with Malice was light so it probably ain’t gonna turn into nothing. But if you’d rather be safe than sorry, I can call my cousin Monster. Only thing about calling niggas like Monster is he ain’t coming to trade threats. He’s gonna push Malice’s brain back. I don’t give a fuck either way. What you trying to do, Fresh?”
Fresh thought about it. True, he was worried about what would happen between Malice and himself if they butted heads again and he wasn’t under the protection of Shadow and Pain. Was it really over and done with, or was the gangster just rocking him to sleep? The latter was a strong possibility, but Fresh couldn’t bring himself to cosign another man’s death. He was a hustler, not a killer. He didn’t want that stain on him. “Nah, man, I’m good,” he finally said.
Pain sucked his teeth; he’d wanted Fresh to give Shadow the green light. He leaned forward, invading the space between the driver and passenger. “Do I get a vote?”
“No,” Shadow told him. “If Fresh says it’s over, we’ll leave it at that.”
Pain plopped back onto his seat, pouting like a child.
“But one day that muthafucka is gonna get what he deserves,” Fresh said to himself more than anyone else.
“Well, obviously it ain’t gonna be none of your doing. But since you ain’t with the action, get with the drugs.” Pain dug into his pants and pulled out a plastic bag of weed, which he tossed at Fresh. “Roll up.”
“Laugh now, but we’ll see how funny it is when he’s in the dirt!” Fresh did hate Malice and longed for the day when he tried to bully someone who was willing to go the distance with him. He opened the bag of weed and was about to start breaking up buds when Shadow stopped him.
“Y’all must be crazy if you think we’re gonna smoke in my mom’s car. You can roll up in here, but we’ll smoke at the spot.”
CHAPTER 11
Shadow took the long way to their destination, cutting in and out of various blocks. He could’ve made a straight shot up Nostrand, but he wanted to be seen. He knew how gossip traveled, and he hoped all the local chickenheads and jealous niggas would spread the word that he was in the hood and riding as clean as the Board of Health.
Fresh and Pain traded jokes and war stories, as was their way when they all got together. Shadow only half listened. He was focused on the landscape. Between his mounting workload in school and his demanding family life, he found that his trips back to the block were becoming less and less frequent. In fact, had his mother not sent him on a mission that day, he probably wouldn’t have come down here at all. He still had a bunch of paperwork to do for college. Between the FAFSA applications and working with his gui
dance counselors on financial aid applications, the process was kicking his ass. He knew that if his father wanted to, he could bankroll the tuition for any school Shadow wanted to go to, but Chance wanted him to experience the lumps and bumps of a regular high school senior. Further complicating things was the fact that his parents insisted he attend an HBCU, which not only limited his choices but the amount of aid he could get. The HBCUs were notoriously cheap when it came to academic scholarships.
All this thinking brought Shadow back to the task his mother had sent him on. “Yo, y’all seen Millie around lately?”
“Not in a few weeks, at least. Why, everything okay?” Pain knew Millie’s backstory and how the family kept her at a distance. If they’d sent Shadow, of all people, to look for her, then maybe something was wrong.
“Everything’s good,” Shadow said. “My mom just wants her at her function tonight, though I don’t know why.”
“Maybe because she wants all her kids with her on her birthday?” Pain suggested. “Shadow, you know I know what time it is with your big sister. I see her out here lurking and shit. That girl is a whole trip with no luggage, but she’s still your mama’s baby. Ain’t nothing short of her drowning a bag of kittens is gonna change that.”
“I know, but I just don’t understand her. Dawg, Millie could have anything she wanted if she just did right. There is nothing my parents wouldn’t do for that girl.”
“Who says she isn’t getting everything she wants?” Pain said. “Respectfully, a friend’s greatest joy is a blast. No amount of money or gifts you shower them with can even come close to the feeling of a good high. I ain’t speaking on some hearsay shit, these are facts. Y’all know my story—both my parents and half my uncles were all out there on that shit at one time or another. You think they gave a shit about what they were doing to their families? Hell no, because an addict only cares about one thing! I understand better than most the sickness of addiction. Why do you think I don’t do anything heavier than weed and maybe a little drink? My uncle is one of the strongest dudes I know, but that rock pushed him to sucking dick at bus stations to get that blast money right. Drugs can take you completely out of yourself.”
