by C Renee
I reached over to the towel bar and got the hand towel off the rack. I got on my knees and turned the bathroom sink on to wet the towel. I pressed it behind my neck to calm me down.
Nope that didn’t work and I had thrown up again.
“Arghhh,” I groaned, God, could it get any worse? Yep, it did, I had to pee. I got up off the floor to use the toilet then I went around the counter and got the trashcan from the floor.
Once I flushed the toilet, I crawled back into bed and I placed the can next to the bed on the floor.
Once my head hit the pillow, I jerked back up.
“FUUUCCCKKKKK!! No, no… no, no.” I shook my head. No, this can’t be. I mentally checked when the last time I had my period, it was meant to come two weeks ago. How the fuck did I forget!
No, this wasn’t happening. I started to get really worried, this was too soon. I knew Matt would freak out since we decided that he wasn’t ready and neither was I. Did I truly know Matt outside of this house? Did I truly want to bring a child into this home full of secrets and violence?
I couldn’t stop thinking about the ‘what ifs’ and the possibilities of the future we would have if I was pregnant, but before I got ahead of myself, I had to make sure I wasn’t. I went back to sleep and decided that later that morning I would go to the pharmacy to get a pregnancy test to know once and for all if I was pregnant. I counted my lucky stars that I wasn’t.
I was sitting on the bathroom floor crying. I went to the store and got the test and waited three minutes for the little lines to show my fate.
I was pregnant.
That day wasn’t my day. Matt had left in a bad mood and I didn’t want to tell him anything just in case I wasn’t. I didn’t want to get his hopes up or mine, even though he probably didn’t want it.
I heard the front door slam, and I heard his footsteps closing in, but he walked straight past the bedroom. He was going to the kitchen to get a drink. Probably a bad day at work, being president wasn’t easy on him. The heavy weight of guilt from his father’s death was beginning to wear him thin.
“Lou, are you home?” I heard Matt calling from the hallway. I was a mess. He can’t find out like this. I needed to get myself together.
“Yeah, I’ll be out in a sec.” I washed my face with cold water and hid the test and box behind my make-up bag under the sink; he won’t find it there.
I walked into the hallway and found he want there, so I headed towards the kitchen and found Matt standing at the table with a tumbler in his hand, it contained scotch on the rocks. Yep, it was a rough day at work.
“You know what I went through today? No, wait; you don’t, because I can’t fucking tell you anything, unless you are married to me. Fuck Lou, I wish I could tell you everything that goes on in that club. About what goes on in my life that you don’t know? The dark shit I have to see and hear from members of this group? From my fucking brothers! I can’t handle it anymore. The only peace I do get is between those legs of yours.” He stepped towards me, but I didn’t like the look in his eyes. I took a step back, but he didn’t like that.
“What’s wrong Lou? Don’t feel like getting fucked tonight? Well too bad sweetness, I need the release and you are going to give it to me.” He made a grab for my arm but I stepped further back and away from his touch, the rage that was evident in his eyes were clear as crystals.
Matt took three steps towards me so he was now towering over me. I was afraid of that look, a look so dark it had my gut twisting in knots.
“Sweetness, this isn’t going to be about pleasure for you, only for me.” He spun me around so I had my stomach on the kitchen table and he lowered my pants and undies down my legs. I wasn’t even wet when he slid his dick between my folds.
“Ouch! That hurts Matt. Stop, I don’t want it!!” I started screaming and twisting out of his hold. There was a split second when I got free. I pulled up my pants and tried to get away.
It was too late to duck out of the way when his fist connected with my stomach.
I curled over, the pain shot up through every nerve in my body. I can’t take this pain. I dropped to the floor and started to cry.
“Lou, what the fuck is the matter now. I barely touched you.” He crouched down beside me and that’s when we both noticed the blood.
Oh fuck.
Once the ambulance got to the house, I was in and out of consciousness. Matt never left my side when I was put into a private room, waiting for the doctor to come and dismiss me. There wasn’t anything wrong with me. It was probably from the hard blow Matt gave me.
Yeah, Lou, you keep telling yourself that.
“Miss Carter? I am Doctor Glass, I have your tests results back, and I do have some bad news. Would you like me to say this in private or in front of Matt here?” The doctor asked as he looked between me and Matt to see who would answer him first, it was me.
“Doctor Glass, you can say it in front of the both of us.” I looked up at him to encourage him to continue.
“Well, I had to take some blood tests because of the unknown cause for the bleeding, but one thing did show up in the results, Miss Carter you were pregnant, but due to the trauma to your stomach, unfortunately you had a miscarriage. I am truly sorry,”
To this day, the look on Matt’s face is something I will always remember. It was a mixture of pure pain, anger and disgust. There was nothing of love or happiness about it. We never spoke about the baby after that day.
I shudder at that memory, and how I lost a child and the love of my life all in one day. After that, I was never the same person again. I was afraid of Matt and for myself.
I shake off the empty feeling and head towards the bedroom door when it flies open before I have the chance to open it.
“What the fuck are you doing in this room Louise? I’ve been looking all over the house for you!” Matt looks furious, god, my ass can’t take another beating. I’m sure he can get that redhead back again and let him get his frustrations out.
“If you hadn’t noticed, I’m not your pet anymore. The only reason I’m back here is because I don’t want you going around killing all the people I love.” I poke his chest, a risky move but I’m feeling bold.
“Fucking brilliant, you were never my pet but since you put it that way, maybe I should make you one now.” He comes closer, reaches up and grabs my hair. It hurts but I follow closely so he doesn’t pull too much out. He leads me out of the room and down towards the kitchen and living room. He releases my hair and pushes me on the couch, right where that slut sat. Great, this can’t be good.
“Lou, before I decide what I’m really going to do with you, I have to decide if you are worth it. To decide if I should kill you now or later.” He sits down on the coffee table and faces me, hands together in front of him in his lap, his dark eyes staring into my soul, wanting to know all my secrets.
“First Lou, tell me why you came back here. Don’t leave anything out. Oh, and don’t forget to mention who are all those loved ones I could have killed if you didn’t come back. This is interesting enough for me to not go into work today.” He grins and leans forward to plant a kiss on my lips. I flinched a little too late and felt his lips touch mine.
Yuck, and to think once upon a time I craved those lips on mine.
“I don’t have to tell you shit. There is nothing you can pry from me. I rather die than tell you anything,” I spit in his face.
“Well Sweetness, that can be arranged,” he says as he rises from the table, perfect timing, his phone started to ring.
Chapter Fifteen
Alex
I’M REFRESHED AND READY to tackle today. I’m at my father’s office and I walk past several offices before I reach the end of the corridor leading to the biggest room on the floor, the biggest one in the whole building, my father’s office. One day, this will be all mine, and I’m really not looking forward to it. Hopefully it can go to my younger brother Damon, but he lives in the United Kingdom. He is only two years younger than I
am but he is a well-known Psychology Professor, even though he is only twenty-five.
After all that I had been through with Tiff, he was there helping me to recover and to try and move on. Free of charge of course.
I reach my father’s office and knock twice.
“Come in Alex,” he calls from behind the door.
I push the heavy, brown door open and walk into his clean, black and white styled office. My father doesn’t really like much color; he says it’s too distracting to the mind. He needs to be focused when making business deals instead of admiring the color red or blue.
“Ah… son, what can I do for you?” He gets up from behind the desk and walks over to where I’m standing. He offers me his hand and I shake it with a firm grip.
“I needed to ask a huge favor. I know I have used them all up over the years but this is a matter of life or death. I need to know if you have any connections with PI’s or ex military men.” I address him with full seriousness. This is Louise’s life I have in my hands and I need to know if she is alive.
“Yes, I do have a few men I trust on my team for when I want things done or people silenced. What do you need them for?” He goes around his desk, sits on the big black office chair and crosses his arms over his chest.
“Well, Louise Carter, the woman you told me to stay away from. She is missing and her best friend is worried that she has gone back to her ex boyfriend.” I take a seat opposite from him and mimic his actions, with the arms crossed.
“Oh, so you want to use men with utmost experience to know where this woman is. Don’t you think you could just hack her phone and get her location? What if she doesn’t want to come back?” he asks, raising his eyebrows and cocks his head to the side to study me.
“No, that is not what I want them for, I don’t see why I should explain why but since I am using your resources,” I go ahead and tell him about Louise’s ex boyfriend being the in a biker gang, how he was abusive towards her and how she is in danger, but I don’t have the man power to take on her ex and whoever else might be there.
“Okay… I see how you need my help. Let me call around and see if I can gather a team for you. I’m sorry this has happened to you son. I didn’t like Jackie but if this is the girl you want, then go get her.” He gives me another look before he picks up his phone and starts dialing someone.
With that, I walk towards the door and send up a silent prayer. I need to visit a church or cut out this praying shit. I know she will be safe. My precious is a fighter and her strength is pure. I know just the thing to get her when I see her again.
I reach my car as I pull my phone out from my pocket and dial Reece, I think I need his advice and touch with this gift just like when I planned my proposal to Tiff. Having a wedding planner as your best friend has its perks.
“Yeah man, what’s up?” he asks after the second ring.
“I need you to meet me at All-Star Gems in about half an hour. I’ll explain everything when you get there.” I get into my car and start it. Reece agrees and I start to head over there when my phone starts ringing. I connect the call through hands free Bluetooth and notice its Steph.
“Alex here,” I answer the call while driving to the store.
“Hey Alex, its Steph, I’m just calling to see if you got any information on where Lou is and how she is doing or… any information would be great. I think I’ve paced a hole in my living room. I can’t get that note out of my head, you know I memorized it. I can’t sleep and I have this huge function this Friday night Lou was meant to star in but now she isn’t even here. I’m sorry Alex, I’m rambling. I can hear that you’re driving, I’ll let you go, but please promise me that you will call me when you know where she is.” She sighs into the phone while she waits for my response.
“No, I haven’t heard back from my father but as soon as he calls with any news I will be sure to call you. Be safe Steph.” With that I cancel the call and pull up to the curb in front of the Gem store.
I wait for another five minutes before Reece pulls up in his white 1997 Chevrolet Pickup Truck. Reece seriously needs a new car, especially when it’s parked next to mine.
“Hey man, its good seeing you. What happened to you yesterday when you just left your shift?” I knew Reece noticed I was gone and I didn’t have enough time to explain what was happening then but I have the time now.
We walk towards the park that is around the corner from the store and sat down at a seat facing the pond. There are white and green ducks swimming and kids playing around the pond, and feeding the ducks bread. The kids are hoping they get close enough to touch them. Keep dreaming kids, those ducks don’t like humans.
“Alright, you have my full attention Alex, what the fuck is happening with you? It’s never like you to miss a shift and it had nothing to do with your parents or else I would have been dragged along.” He takes the seat next to me and waits while I gather my thoughts. You would think it would get easier the more you tell someone, but nope, it gets harder and he is my fucking best friend. It should be spilling out of my mouth.
“All I can say right now is that Louise, the woman I was telling you about the other week, well she is in deep shit trouble and I need my father’s help with getting her back. If I lose her I don’t know what I would do. I may not be able to show her my real emotions or my full attention towards her but already she means a lot to me and I can’t lose her.” I inhale a huge breath before I continue.
“Her best friend Steph called me saying she went missing and she had a bad feeling she had gone back to her ex who is a big shot, biker leader in the illegal world and that she was abused. So, I need a team to help me get her back. If it ends with dead bodies in black bags, then so be it.” I close my eyes and pray that Lou isn’t already in one of those bags. Here I go again, with the praying shit.
“Oh… I see man… that’s fucked. You know I would do anything to help you right?” Reece gets up and starts pacing in front of me, he gets like this when he’s thinking of a great plan.
He suddenly stops and turns until he is directly in front of me, looking down until he locks eyes with me. “Why are we at a gem store Alex? Please don’t tell me the moment you find your girl you’re going to propose? Because that is fucking stupid! Have you even gone on a real date with her, because from the last time you took her out she freaked out?” He starts pacing again while waiting for my reply.
“Fuck off man, I haven’t even sunk into her folds yet, gotta test drive before I buy the goods.” I joke towards him, hoping he catches the sarcasm.
“Yeah, yeah… but seriously why are we here, and why do you need my help for this? I know you have good taste in jewelry.”
I get up and lead us back towards the store as I explain my intensions for Louise.
“That first night I saw her was at the fundraiser function and she was wearing this amazing red dress. I still can’t get the image out of my head and after I spoke with her, I started calling her precious and what’s more precious than gemstones? Louise is obviously and red really suits her skin tone. So I want to get her something special.”
We head inside the shop but we stopped dead in our tracks to take in the surroundings, this place is huge. The place is full of cabinets with natural gems and other gems that have been cut and polished. I head towards the buy section and spot the glass cabinet I want to look in, natural and created rubies. I have to find the perfect red that matched her dress.
Reece and I both scan the cabinets until I locked eyes with the perfect piece.
This piece is a Genuine Red Ruby Oval Pendant with a gold oval ring around the ruby, and at the top where the hoop is to attach the gold chain is three small diamonds.
This is perfect for Louise, my Precious Ruby.
I can’t wait to find her and keep her safe and then I will plan the perfect night out and give her this necklace to show her that those other women meant nothing to me. That she means more than a random, meaningless fuck.
I don’t know w
hy or when I became obsessive over Louise but when did admit these feelings about her to myself, she was already missing. I will not let that happen again, whatever it takes.
I get back home and place the necklace box in the top drawer next to my bed, waiting for the day I can finally get her in my arms, but until then I will wish she were with me and hope she is safe.
The next couple of days or weeks are going to be torture and I will worry myself sick. I hope my father finds and puts a team together quickly to get this show on the road. No matter the risks, she will come back in one piece, even if it’s the last thing I do.
I can’t lose yet another woman I care deeply for.
Chapter Sixteen
Louise
I BREATHE A SIGH of relief when Matt leaves me here on the couch. That was close. I need to shut my mouth if I want to survive another day here.
I am just about to turn the TV on when Matt comes rushing around the couch and stands in front of the TV, blocking my view.
“What do you think you are doing?” I ask when I look up to meet his eyes, which I can’t tell by his expression if that phone call he had was a good one. Talk about a poker face.
“Get off your slutty ass, we have a function to go to tonight at the club and I want you to be my date.” He leans down and gets right up in my face. He moves closer and lightly kisses my cheek. I’m frozen in my place. That is so strange, how his mood went from wanting to kill me to taking me on a date.
It’s five o’clock when I step out of the shower, I look at myself in the mirror and the woman staring back isn’t the same woman I saw only two months ago. That woman was free of her demons, but only for a little while. I knew if I wanted a true life, a real chance at freedom, I had to face my demons head on and that’s exactly what I have done by coming back to Matt.
