Miss ~ Harloe Rae

by Rae, Harloe

  My stomach sinks. Fuck, this keeps getting worse. “We’ll be staying there for a while?”

  “Sure. Probably at least six months. Same as usual,” Devon says.

  A blast of expletives dance on my tongue, but only one escapes. “Shit.”

  “Thought you’d be pleased with the additional hours and overtime. What’s eating you?”

  I feel my face heat, and it isn’t the oppressive summer humidity. I pop my jaw and attempt to keep shit locked down. “Uh,” I start, licking my dry lips. “I used to live in Garden Grove.”

  His dark eyebrows furrow. “Yeah? What am I missing?”

  I kick some rocks and watch them bounce along the ground. “There’s a lot of history wrapped up in there.”

  “Seems you’re not too thrilled about that,” Devon points out.

  “Didn’t end well.” Understatement of the fucking year. I force my features to remain void of emotion, refusing to give anything away. “Anywhere else you can send me instead?”

  He blinks slowly, like he can’t process my words. “The fuck? You go with the crew.”

  “Can there be an exception? Just this once?”

  “No way. I need your dedication and skill to get this done right. Most days you do more than two others combined.”

  I want to be pleased with his praise, but can’t summon the strength for that now. “Appreciate that, boss. But—”

  He cuts me off by slashing the air. “Stop bullshitting. Tell me the issue.”

  I yank on my hair as frustration builds. “Too many memories. I don’t wanna go back to that place,” I admit.

  “There’s shit in your past, that much has been clear since we met. You don’t have to tell me anything. All I expect is you show up to work and get the job done,” he says with a dismissive snap of his fingers, like it’s always that easy.

  But Devon has no idea what he’s asking. I gulp down the bellow desperate to release. After taking a few calming inhales, I manage to ask, “When are we starting?”

  “Early next week,” he replies easily.

  My pulse spikes and pounds through me. “Are you fucking joking? We just finished this gig,” I say and hitch a thumb toward the looming building.

  “You better watch it,” Devon booms. “I’m still your boss, Zeke. Just cause I like you, and have a soft spot, doesn’t mean this shit will fly.”

  My guard slams down at his callous tone. Visions of brutal fights and losing battles flicker in front of me. The grip my father kept on me has long been released, but I still feel his threatening presence. The scars littering my skin begin to itch as an unnecessary reminder. I scratch my arm, trying to rid the fire below the surface, but the damage is too deep. There’s no chance of breaking free, so the struggle is pointless. The anger will pour out later when no one else is around. That’s the way it has to be.

  I continue to quietly stew in my self-deprecating misery. I glare at the expanse of nothingness in front of me, which seems ironic and stupid at the same time. I’m over this town.

  Devon must pick up on my mood because he straightens off the truck. He turns to face me. “Don’t let me down. You’re always saying how much this crew and opportunity means to you. Prove it,” he demands.

  “It isn’t that fucking simple.”

  “I can tell. Whatever you’re fighting must be fierce, but that garbage can’t win. You’re stronger than that, Zeke. Better, too. Never forget that. I’ll let you think shit over tonight, but there shouldn’t be a choice. Just give me your decision tomorrow,” he says with an edge of finality.

  He’s backing me into a corner, but that’s his job. Devon needs reliable men on his payroll. Not whiny bitches afraid to face the past. I scrub down my face and begin to mentally prepare for this epic disaster.

  “Fuck,” I mutter. “Fine, I’ll go.”

  Devon smirks and raises a knowing brow. “Was that so fucking hard?”

  “Yes,” I lash back.

  He shakes his head. “Such a mystery. One day you’ll spill the madness in there,” he says and points to my temple.

  “Doubt it.”

  Devon doesn’t argue further. Instead he orders, “Finish the clean up tomorrow and Wednesday. Take a few days off. Then we’re off to Garden Grove. Good?”

  I lock my jaw to keep the truth from spilling out. I offer a single nod, which he accepts. After a jut of his chin, Devon wanders off.

  When I’m alone, the weight of my situation collapses down and it’s suddenly hard to breathe. Blonde hair, green eyes, and a river of broken promises rush over me. The five-year separation I’ve shoved between us has never felt so daunting. I can’t stop the onslaught of regret stabbing into me, like her small fists beating my back. It would be best to stay gone and leave the hurt buried. The time away has changed me for the worse. I’m ashamed of the man in the mirror, and Delilah’s reaction is bound to destroy me. Showing up in town is going to revive unbearable shit I can’t handle. But there’s no avoiding this.

  Dammit, looks like I’m heading . . . home.

  SPIN

  Delilah

  THE WHIR OF the coffee grinder pierces through my pounding skull. The rich scent from the fresh grounds wafts over me, but I’m not getting the usual jolt as it reaches my nose. I silently curse my inability to get a decent night’s sleep. Between the nonstop heatwave and longer hours at work, I can’t seem to relax. I rub my swollen eyes, desperate for a machine that can instantly insert caffeine into my veins.

  If I’m being honest, there’s something . . . weird happening lately. I haven’t given voice to this feeling yet because it seems too farfetched and beyond belief. But once again, the familiar prickle of awareness sneaks up my neck. I look around Jitters, taking in the bright light and low buzz of morning activity. Nothing appears out of the ordinary. A few regulars sit at tables, sipping from steaming mugs while munching on breakfast.

  What the eff is wrong with me? If I don’t get more rest soon, I’ll probably start seeing things.

  Raven ducks behind the counter and slides in next to me. My college-bestie saved my ass by moving to Garden Grove earlier this year. Having her around has been a serious blessing. It definitely doesn’t hurt that she’s got master baking skills that elevated my shop to another level. Jitters, and me, would be lost without her. I give Raven’s disheveled appearance a once over and send her a smirk.

  “Cooking up a storm back there?” I question lightly.

  She shrugs. “You could say that. I’ve got cookies, muffins, and cupcakes in the ovens. Do you think we need more scones?” She peers into the display case.

  “I think we need more ovens,” I reply.

  Raven laughs. “There’s already three.”

  “And you’re always using them.” I sweep a loose tendril from my sticky forehead. “It’s really hot in this joint. The air conditioning can’t keep up.”

  “Are you complaining about my master baking?”

  I indicate a pinch between my thumb and finger. “I mean, you go at it all day and night. Doesn’t Trey get jealous?”

  “Oh, he gets plenty. Don’t worry,” she volleys back.

  “So sassy. He’s rubbing off on you.”

  “And I love it,” she purrs.

  I shove her shoulder. “Gross.”

  Raven bites the air. “Don’t be jealous.”

  “Yeah, yeah.” I wave her nonsense away, but a hollow pang settles in my chest. Pretend as I might, loneliness has been creeping in more and more lately. A heavy sigh deflates me.

  Her brows crumple. “You okay?”

  I nod. Before I can respond, the door chimes. I plaster a smile on my lips and twist to the register. I hold back a groan as Marlene practically prances toward me. A trail of potent perfume accompanies her and intensifies my headache. Her grey hair is styled to perfection, as always. Too bad she can’t keep the lipstick off her teeth. She’s the worst gossip Garden Grove has to offer and based off her gleeful expression, she’s got something extra juicy to share. T
his should be a splendid combination of tedious and interesting.

  “Good morning,” I greet.

  “Hello, Delilah,” she chirps. Marlene sets her sights on Raven beside me. “And hello to you, dear. I’m so happy you worked things out with Trey.” Her grin is more fake than the plastic pearls around her neck.

  “I bet you are,” Raven mumbles. I peer over and catch the curl of her mouth. Trey is definitely influencing her, and it’s amazing.

  Marlene doesn’t seem to find the humor. “What was that?” She leans closer.

  Raven smooths her features. “I said that’s very nice of you. We appreciate your concern.”

  I cough into my fist hearing that pile of bullshit. These two make quite a pair. Raven pats my back, as if I’m actually choking. I can’t help a giggle from bubbling out. I wipe under my eyes and straighten, facing Marlene head-on.

  “I hope you’re not sniffing around for trouble, Marlene. You’ve caused enough of it lately,” I tell her.

  “You girls need to be more professional. This is your place of business,” she scolds.

  “Is our behavior stopping you from dropping by more often?” I ask. If the answer is no, we need to step it up another notch.

  She tsks. “Don’t be a brat, Delilah. Your mother raised you better.”

  My teeth clack together and I bristle at her tone. But I should probably mind my manners with customers. No matter who they are.

  “You’re right. I apologize,” I grind out. I elbow Raven, shooting her a look.

  Her sneakers scuff the floor as she fidgets. “I’m sorry, too.”

  The older woman nods, her features stern. “That’s better. I’ll turn you two into respectful ladies yet.”

  I almost snort, but hold the noise in. “Don’t hold your breath. Let’s move on, yeah? What can we get you, Marlene?”

  Before she answers, Raven pipes up. “Did you hear that? I think the cookies are done. Better go check on them.” She begins to shift away, mouthing a silent apology.

  I glare at her retreating form, not believing she’s sorry for a moment. Marlene interrupts my chance at a rebuttal.

  “She’s a sweet one. Trey is a lucky guy,” she comments. Marlene studies me with a slight tilt of her head. “How’s your dating life?”

  I rub my temples. “That’s not why you’re here. How about some fresh banana bread instead? Raven made it fresh a couple hours ago. I just brewed some hazelnut coffee, too. Would you like to try some?”

  She allows me to change the subject, but purses her lips. “I do love that recipe.” She taps her wrinkled chin. “I’ll have two slices of cake and a large light roast. To go,” she says with emphasis.

  After pouring the coffee, I wrap the baked goodies in pink wax paper and place everything on the counter. Marlene’s hand rests on the bread. Her eyes suddenly sparkle brighter, an obvious tell that she’s got something more to share. The news might as well be scrawled across her flouncy blouse because the evidence is obvious.

  Shit, I can only imagine. I tap my nails on the glass top, encouraging her to spit it out.

  Marlene’s wide grin lifts her wrinkled cheeks. “Have you heard about the renovation at Roosters?”

  I sigh, disappointment settling in at her lame topic of chatter. This story is bound to be dull. “Hasn’t everyone? Mary Sue and Bob have been talking about fixing their bar up for years. It’s about damn time.”

  She edges closer, as if this is a secret. “But have you seen the construction site? Or better yet, the men they’ve hired?”

  My brow rises at that. “Ah, even more cocks in the henhouse?”

  Marlene’s fingers flutter to her chest. “Delilah Sage, must you be so crass?”

  “I think by now this type of language is expected from me. Can we keep things rolling?” I make a motion for her to continue.

  Marlene scrunches her nose. “What’s the hurry?”

  “I’m working. This isn’t Sunday tea time.”

  She huffs. “All right, fine. Have it your way. So, the renovation started earlier this week. I’ve made my way down there a few times. To check on progress, you know?”

  “Uh huh.” The boredom is heavy in my voice.

  “One of the guys was particularly recognizable, and the years have been good to him. This fellow has always been a looker, but now? He’s very handsome,” Marlene explains.

  “Really? How nice,” I respond dryly.

  “It sure is. He’s grown up mighty fine since I saw him last.”

  “Are you going to fill in the blanks? Or is this a guessing game? Because I don’t really want to play, Marlene. I’ve got to start doing inventory.”

  “Go visit the site and see for yourself,” she urges.

  I cross my arms. “And why would I do that? I know what that place looks like. Right now, it’s just a gutted version. Pretty sure I can wait until they finish.”

  “You’re wro-ong,” she sing-songs.

  I comb through my long hair, tugging at the ends. This crazy old bat is losing her marbles. “Why don’t you let me be the judge of that, yeah?”

  “They tore it all down,” she adds.

  “What’s that?”

  “Bob convinced Mary Sue to start from scratch. This burly crew came in and bulldozed the building. They’ll have a brand-new bar in a few months. Isn’t that exciting?”

  “Huh,” I say. “Didn’t know that. Guess you’re sharing something relevant after all.”

  “But it’s more than that,” she whispers.

  “Yeah, yeah. The piece of man meat that caught your eye. I get it,” I groan. I’m ready to be done with this little exchange.

  Marlene winks. “I believe you’ll be super glad to see this fella. Pretty sure he’d love to catch up with you. Take a walk down memory lane,” she coos softly.

  I give her a flat stare, but something jolts inside of me. I trace a line over my torso, following the tingling path. When she says shit like that, only one name comes to mind. Her hints are general and ominous, so I shove the possibility away. Zeke is long gone. Why I’m even thinking about him now is beyond me. That liar hasn’t stepped foot in town for years. I swallow hard when unwarranted emotion stings my eyes. I’m unsure if anger, sadness, betrayal, or a twisted version of relief is the root cause. Probably a combination of them all. A wild, erratic beat kicks up in my chest. My heart is a traitor. And so are the memories constantly assaulting me.

  I bite my lip, making sure this inner turmoil stays hidden. The last thing I need is Marlene catching wind of my stupid feelings.

  She dips into my distracted line of sight. “Have I convinced you yet?”

  I shake my head, sweeping away all that ancient history. “Not really.” I shrug.

  “Sure,” she drawls. “We’ll see about that.”

  “Great,” I agree for the sake of ending this exchange. “Anything else today?”

  Marlene gives me a once over, her gaze far too knowing. She pats the banana bread and picks up her coffee. “This should do it for now,” she says.

  I wave, but really want to shoo her out the door. “Thanks for coming.”

  “See you soon, Delilah. Tell Raven tootles from me.” She turns and sashays out.

  I sag against the wall, thankful for the reprieve from her prying stare. A shiver creeps up my spine, but heat spreads all over me. I rest a palm on my forehead, checking for a fever. At least if I’m sick, these strange sensations have purpose.

  Raven peeks around the corner, carrying a tray of something delicious. She stops short when she notices me. After stashing the treats away, she moves toward me. “You okay? Looks like you’ve seen a ghost, D.”

  I blink rapidly and glance away. “Not yet.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  I cover my face and moan. “Nothing. Marlene got to me.”

  Raven gapes at me. “No way. What did she say?”

  “She’s leading me to believe I’ll remember one of the guys working on Roosters’ remodel.
Kind of made me think of . . .” I let my words trail off.

  My friend catches the drift. “Shit. Could it be him?”

  I sniff, taking comfort in the sugary scent wafting over. “No, he’s gone. It’s not him. Just got me in a weird mood.” I have to believe that. The alternative is not an option I’m able to consider.

  Raven looks at me like she wants to say more, but she doesn’t. I’m thankful for that. She wraps her arm around me, and I lean into the kind embrace. She reaches back and plucks some gooey goodness from the cooling rack. Raven passes me a cookie and I eagerly take a bite. Chocolate and peanut butter burst on my tongue.

  I hum happily at my favorite flavor. “Damn, this hits the spot.”

  “There’s plenty more where that came from.”

  “Knew I kept you around for a reason.”

  Raven smirks. “A cookie a day keeps the bad boys away.”

  I quirk a brow at her. “Didn’t seem to work with Trey.”

  A flush races up her neck. “He’s an exception.” Then she adds, “To every rule.”

  I laugh and reach for another, hoping she’s right.

  WATCH

  Zeke

  I SCAN THE cobbled sidewalk, checking for curious glances or prying eyes, but find none. People don’t seem to care—or notice—that I’ve been sitting on this bench for almost an hour. I adjust the ball cap on my head, shielding my eyes from view. I’m staring into Jitters like my pathetic life depends on it, but no one else needs to know that. The popular coffee shop is a new addition since I’ve been gone. It’s one of many things that’s changed around Garden Grove.

  Pride swells in my chest as I watch Delilah flit around the small tables. My original plan was to keep a safe distance, but it only took a few days before I was wandering down Main Street. When I discovered who owned this place, there was no staying away. And each time I get a bit bolder. Being close to her again gives me a small sense of peace I haven’t felt in far too long. She always had that effect on me.

  Leaving Delilah was a fateful mistake, but there’s no point in dwelling over shit I can’t change. Watching her now, in this element she was meant for, my decision is cemented all over again. Had I stayed, or come back for her, she wouldn’t have this. I have no future, and Delilah’s has always been bright. My failures are blinking in front of me like that damn neon welcome sign. I don’t belong here, with her. She’s better off without me—that much is clear. If only my life wasn’t completely worthless without her. But that’s not important. I’ll continue trudging on in silence, taking quick glimpses when they’re offered. This isn’t how I imagined things would turn out between us, but it could always be worse.