by Rae, Harloe
My muscles seize when Delilah shifts closer to the window. I lower my face, hiding under the hat’s curved brim like a chicken shit. Somehow, she’s more beautiful than I remember. There’s a rosy flush lighting up her flawless face, making those stunning features glow. Delilah’s blonde hair is piled in a messy bun with wispy tendrils falling loose. If I tucked the strands behind her ear, maybe she’d lean into my touch. A pink apron covers what I know to be subtle curves and smooth skin. She’s the vision of chaotic perfection.
When she shifts slightly, I catch sight of the ink across her shoulder. Each time I see those colorful lines, the boulder in my gut doubles in size. My eyes sting and I have to look away for a moment. We’d always planned to get tattoos together. This is one more thing I’ve missed out on experiencing with her. I glare at the setting sun as a string of curses fall from my lips.
Dammit, Delilah has become a totally different person with a brand-new life. I have no place in this version and that solid fact makes me nauseous. I surrendered all these years with her, but for what gain? I’m sitting out here with nothing to show for my absence. She’s in there, close enough to touch, but might as well be miles away. Each second she moves further, and without pause.
Delilah doesn’t seem to notice I’m around, but her distracted gaze could convince me otherwise. Maybe she senses me somehow, feels the weight of my leering stare. We always had a surreal connection. I consider this while getting caught in her green eyes. If she glanced a little to her left . . .
Delilah quickly twists away, and the moment vanishes in a puff of coffee-scented smoke. I look around again, paranoid and on edge, but this situation calls for that. If Delilah knew I was out here, peeping through the decorated glass, she’d slap me. Or scream in my face. Maybe she’d ignore me all together. The last option stops me short, and I squeeze my eyes shut. I can take her anger and sadness, but not this silence.
It’s been too long since I’ve heard her voice.
I tap my phone, checking the time. She’ll be closing up soon, which means I’ve got to get lost. With defeat heavy on my shoulders, I stand from my perch and stretch the ache away. Lewis and a few guys are meeting at Dagos, a local favorite down the road. I head that way to join them for happy hour. I usually prefer being alone, but this afternoon has been rough. I’m hoping that surrounding myself with others will give me a much needed distraction.
My shoes scuff over the bumpy concrete but come to an abrupt halt before reaching the bar. I almost dive into the alley when Marlene and Betty step out of a parked sedan. I remember them all too well and would bet a lot of money they’re still running the rumor mill. Being a conversation topic during their tea time isn’t appealing. Plus, if they catch sight of me, it will be a matter of moments before the entire town knows I’m here. After turning toward the building, I dart behind a group of teens gathering for a picture. Then I manage to slink inside undetected.
That was a fucking close one.
Lewis waves from a table in the far corner and I absorb the familiar space. This joint hasn’t changed much by the looks of it. The floor is still littered with peanut shells and random memorabilia covers the walls. It smells like fried food, stale beer, and drunken nights. This is exactly what I need.
I shuffle over to the guys and take a seat on the end. I bob my chin to Brody and Kayne across from me.
“What’s wrong, man? You look a little shaken up,” Lewis says with a slap to my back.
I shrug him off. “This damn town is full of reminders.”
He gives me a weird look. “Is that bad? I figured you’d have fun with old friends.”
A low grunt tickles my throat. “Not even close.”
“Doesn’t your dad have a house here?”
“Not anymore.” I scowl at the cup of water in my hand. “He ran off like a little bitch.”
“Was this before you left?”
For whatever reason, I find myself answering honestly. “No, after. The neighbor called my aunt, who I happened to be staying with at the time. She came out and dealt with the place. Guess my dad let the bills go and there were piles stacked on the table.”
“You didn’t help?” His question feels like an accusation whipping into my flesh.
I hunch lower in the seat and shame sticks to my skin. “Nah, I was busy.” But the truth is I’m a worthless sack of lying shit. I didn’t want to risk running into Delilah. Considering her parents lived next door to my father, that outcome was more than extremely likely.
Lewis looks like he wants to rip into me further, but we’re interrupted.
A perky voice calls, “Hey, stranger. What can I get you to drink?”
I turn to look at the server and the air stalls in my lungs. Shit.
“Holy balls! Zeke?” Addison’s shriek travels across the room.
A rumble builds in my chest. “No need to alert the neighborhood.”
“Wow, you’re not a stranger at all. Well, maybe you are now. Where the hell have you been?” Disappointment paints her tone.
“Away,” is all I offer with a shrug.
Her forehead pinches. “That’s all I get?”
I mess with my hat, avoiding her searching gaze. Addison fidgets in front of me, shifting her stance and looking uncomfortable. Her awkward actions cause a fresh wave of guilt to hammer into me. I’m making her feel this way.
“You two know each other?” Lewis asks, pointing between us.
I welcome the interruption and scrub a hand across my stubbled jaw. “Ah, yeah. Addison and I went to school together.”
She coughs. “There’s far more to it than that.”
I drag in a deep breath. “She’s also best friends with . . . someone I used to date.”
She smirks, a deep dimple denting her freckled cheek. “Someone? Really, Zeke? You’re gonna downplay her that way? Can’t even say her name?” Her questions blast out like rapid fire.
I narrow my eyes, unease slithering around me. “That’s ancient history,” I say with finality.
But Addison isn’t done. She shifts closer, staring down her nose at me. “Have you seen her?” I shake my head and she adds, “D is gonna flip out.”
I grab her wrist, stilling all movement. “That’s why we’re not telling her.”
“As if,” she huffs. “There’s no keeping you a secret.”
I glare at the ceiling, regretting my genius decision of venturing out tonight. “Guess we’ll wait and see,” I mutter.
Addison points at me. “You better talk to her, Zeke. Think about how your abandonment affected her.”
“I didn’t—”
“But you did. That’s how D feels. I know there are reasons you left, but that doesn’t matter. You didn’t come back and left all of us behind,” she grumbles.
“Enough of the guilt trip, Addy. I’ll go somewhere else if this is how you treat customers,” I complain.
She doesn’t need to rake me over the coals. I take care of that all on my own. The reminders of how badly I’ve fucked up never cease, playing on repeat. I’ll never escape that shit, but I have the power of walking out of this place.
“Get over yourself,” Addison says.
“Why don’t you pretend I’m not here? That’d be best for everyone.”
“Unlikely, but whatever. We are so discussing this after my shift. You better stick around.” She flicks my bicep.
We most definitely aren’t, but I don’t say that. Instead I mumble, “Shouldn’t you be working now? How ‘bout a beer?”
Addison pops out her hip. “Never knew you to be a bossy asshole, Zeke. It doesn’t suit you.”
“Sorry to disappoint. Good thing it doesn’t really matter what you think,” I say.
She shakes out her hand. “Oooh, burn. What the eff happened to you?”
“Too fucking much,” I respond.
“Clearly. You’ve got some explaining to do,” Addison says.
“Not the time. Probably never will be.” I wave her demand away. She needs to
get the fuck out of my space and take the past with her.
Addison darts away in a flurry of red hair and expletives. Lewis chuckles beside me. “Damn, she’s feisty. Guess she fits the redhead stereotype.”
“Don’t start,” I snap.
“Always shutting me down. Whatever, man. Did you talk to Devon today?”
I nod, grateful for the subject change. “The demolition is done. We’ve gotta start clearing the junk out. He wants us out there early tomorrow. All hands on deck.”
“Suppose the easy shifts were bound to run out. Damn.”
I snort. “Yeah, no more fucking off early. At least until the foundation is poured. Get ready for heavy lifting.”
“I know excavating is scheduled for next week so we better hustle. Then the concrete trucks move in,” he shares and I nod along.
Addison slams a few mugs on the table, the beer sloshing out. “I’ll add them to your tab,” she spits before dashing away again.
Lewis leaps away from the flying liquid. “Someone’s holding a grudge.”
“Tab? What the fuck?” I mutter quietly at the same time.
He laughs. “Forgot to pay up last time?”
“Wasn’t old enough to drink. Doubtful I ran up a bill for pizza and soda,” I gripe.
There’s no further grumbling about Addison’s mess. We gladly turn our focus to the frosty brews and take healthy gulps. I relax a fraction when the cool liquid hits my lips.
Lewis drags a palm over his buzzed hair. “At least we’ve got our weekends free. I’m a big fan of Garden Grove already. The women are sexy as sin. I can’t wait to explore some more.” He wags his brows and I have the urge to punch his throat.
“Don’t be a douche,” I mutter.
“You’re just jealous.”
A disbelieving laugh bursts from me. “Of what?”
Lewis motions down his torso. “All this.”
“Hardly, dude. Keep dreaming.”
His comeback doesn’t register because all the air is suddenly sucked out of the room. I can’t breathe or move or . . . fucking think. Everything I am is lost to the blonde beauty who just stepped into Dagos. I have tunnel vision, and Delilah is the spotlight.
Christ, can this situation get any worse?
He follows my line of sight. “Another girl you know?”
“Used to.”
“Ah, the plot thickens. Is she the someone you referred to earlier?”
“You don’t know shit.”
“But your clues leave little to the imagination.” Lewis chuckles and I hate him for it.
As I tear my gaze away from Delilah, frustration cinches my chest. But he’s right. Chills race up my arms and I shiver despite the balmy temperature. Delilah is bound to see me hunkered down over here. Thankfully this part of the table is cloaked in shadows so my presence has a chance of remaining hidden.
I watch her make a beeline for the bar, dragging some random chick behind her. I squint to get a better look. Pretty sure I saw her working with Delilah at Jitters earlier, but she’s not someone who grew up with us. When Addison skips up to them, my heart stutters to a stop. Fuck, she’s bound to point me out.
Lewis juts his chin toward Delilah, my staring obvious. “She’s hot as fuck,” he whistles. I jab him in the ribs and he almost falls off the chair.
“Shut the fuck up,” I growl.
“You’re grumpier than usual. Maybe she can help with that. You should say hello. Clearly you’ve missed her.”
I grunt. “Nah. Wouldn’t end well.”
Lewis gives me a blank look, like I’m not making sense.
“What?” I ask.
“You’re giving me crumbs of something big. Care to share more?”
“You wanna sit around and gossip like a bunch a chicks?” I question, trying to throw him off track.
“I think you do,” he prods.
“No. Not even a little bit.”
He sighs and grips my shoulder. “You’re always locked up so fucking tight. It won’t hurt to lean on someone, you know? I’ve got two ears and can keep my mouth shut. Right now, you’ve got that defeated and broken thing going. Wanna talk about it?”
“No,” I repeat. “There’s nothing to tell. It’s all a dead end.” A spasm cramps my chest but I ignore it. Best to leave all that shit behind me where it belongs. I look away from Delilah’s gorgeous face and focus on my beer, watching the condensation drip down. After a few more minutes of tense silence, I decide to break it. “How long do you think this job will take?”
Lewis has been part of Devon’s crew for the longest, going on seven years. If anyone can predict this type of project, it’s him.
He shrugs and spins his mug around. “Meh, at least five months? Maybe more. I swear these small-town gigs always take twice as long. When the owners decided to tear down the entire building, that tacked on some serious weeks. Starting from scratch takes time, but it’s easier in a lot of ways. Why some wanna hold onto debilitating remains is beyond me.”
“Sometimes it’s hard to let go,” I mumble almost silently.
“Huh?”
I jerk my gaze up, not realizing I’d spoken aloud. I scratch the back of my neck, trying to get rid of the heat rising there. “If the roots and foundation are still solid, why ruin it? There’s beauty in the original.”
Lewis doubles over and busts out laughing. “Wow, that’s some sappy shit. Never thought I’d hear you getting sentimental over concrete.”
I shake my head. He doesn’t get it. “It’s far more complicated than that.”
STRANGE
Delilah
THE BUBBLING WATER feels heavenly on my feet, and I recline lower in the massage chair. I needed this—big time. I’m burning the soles off my shoes with Jitters being extra busy lately. But let’s be honest, no one needs an excuse to get a pedicure.
I moan when Ruby, the nail technician, starts rubbing my sore arches. “Oh, Lord. That feels so good. Ah, yeah, right there. Please don’t stop. Like, never ever.”
Raven giggles next to me. “You’re feeding every male fantasy right now. I should record you and play it for Mister Large Dark Roast next time he drops by.”
I shoot her a glare, my relaxing cloud of bliss evaporating instantly. “Don’t you dare, Rave. That dude is duller than his coffee order.”
“But he likes you. Hearing you groan would definitely give him a rise,” she laughs.
I wrinkle my nose. “Ew, no. I’m so not interested.”
“Come on, D. He practically drools all over the counter whenever you’re nearby.”
“That’s a gross visual. You’re ruining this experience for me,” I say with an exaggerated frown. My attention refocuses on the goddess working me over. “Rubes is giving me the royal treatment with all the perks. You’re getting a seriously big tip,” I tell her with a lazy smile.
Ruby grins back. “You’re hilarious. Moan away. It makes the day more interesting. I don’t mind the commentary at all.” She digs into my heels and tingles shoot up my calf. I lower my eyelids and get sucked back into paradise. Damn, this woman knows how to treat a lady.
Raven flicks me and says, “Hey.”
“Ouch. What the heck?” I ask.
“We’re having a conversation.”
I make a noncommittal noise. “Oh, really?”
“Yes, really. You’re not into the dark roast guy. But how about the hottie with the delicious arm-porn from Boomers?”
“Meh, he’s all right. Maybe I’ll give him a call.”
“What’s your deal lately?” She raises a questioning brow.
I motion toward my pampered toes. “Pretty sure it’s obvious.”
She rolls her blue eyes. “Not in this exact moment. In general. You seem off. Especially when it comes to guys.”
I cringe when she strikes a serious truth. Guess I haven’t been that sneaky with hiding my feelings. “Uh, I have no idea. It’s just been seriously busy at work. Who has time for guys right now?” I hedge.
Raven points at herself. “Yours truly.”
“That’s different. You started dating before the summer’s craziness really started.”
She gives me a look that tells me I’m busted. “Don’t lie to me, D. What’s really going on?”
I sigh with purpose. “I dunno. I’m in a funk or something. I’m not feeling anyone lately. Like, at all. Maybe it’s a sign I need to focus on myself.” I pick at my cuticles.
Raven hums. “Huh, well then. That’s understandable. More girl time for us.”
I snort. “Yeah, when Trey isn’t dragging you away. Lucky biatch getting it on the regular. Speaking of, are you two meeting up after this?”
She squints at me, ignoring my attempt to deflect the attention. “Did we not just discuss two very eligible men willing to give you plenty?”
“I don’t want them, though. There’s gotta be passion and desire. Doesn’t help that I feel like a limp noodle,” I complain.
“Talk about a bad visual.” She crooks her finger to symbolize certain male genitalia.
It’s my turn to flick her arm. “Perv. Don’t worry, I’ll get my groove back. Eventually.”
“Seems to be more to it than just that,” Raven mutters absently.
I don’t comment on her observation, choosing to enjoy the rest of Ruby’s pampering. When my toenails are painted a perfect glittery pink, she helps me out of the chair. I waddle to the dryer and plop down. I’m about to open a magazine when Raven sits down beside me.
“You’re not getting away from me that easily.”
“Clearly,” I mumble.
“So? What’s got your lady bits in a twist?”
“Ugh, I thought we were dropping this.”
