Gentlemen Prefer Sass: Sassy Ever After

by Cynthia Fox

  “This most certainly is not better!” Now Shane was the one restraining her.

  “I’m not a bad guy,” he said, reaching out to shake Shane’s hand. “It’s Shane, right? See, Candy told me she wants both of us and I’m just trying to make that come true for her. If we’re going to be one big, happy family, we should at least see if we’re compatible. Wouldn’t you agree? As you were, I’ll just observe. You won’t hear a peep out of me.”

  Candace screamed in frustration. “I really like this guy. Can’t you be a complete fucking asshole another time?”

  “Oh, I am a complete fucking asshole every other time. Why should the present be any different?”

  “Is this what I’m signing up for?” Shane asked, throwing his hands up.

  “No.” Candace grabbed his shoulders for reassurance while Alejandro nodded up and down and mouthed yes. She caught him mid nod and sighed loudly, exhaling all the air from her body. “Why do you want me to be unhappy?”

  “You’re unhappy?” Alejandro looked genuinely concerned, surprising Candace and Shane.

  “Do I look happy? I told you what I wanted. I was enjoying myself and now you’re just trying to shit on the whole thing. Plus, you still need to repay Shane for his car.”

  “Again with the car. I never touched his car. Being a warlock-demon doesn’t automatically mean I’m a liar. I take offense to that.”

  “You can take offense to whatever you want.” She faced Shane and kissed him on the lips. “Forget everything I said. I’m not dragging you into this.” Candace positioned herself to fly off, getting a few feet off the ground before Alejandro grabbed her by the ankle and brought her back down to the boat.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “I came here to meet Shane, but when I saw him with you … I just … well, I didn’t put forth my best self.”

  “No, you did not!”

  “Shane, I’m sorry. I’ve been away from her for quite some time and I wasn’t expecting her to replace me so quickly.”

  “Quickly? It’s been decades, Alejandro. We are not here to feel sorry for you when you’re the one who left!”

  “I was banished,” he said, explaining to Shane.

  “I heard.”

  “And I’m afraid it might happen again.”

  “Just say you’re leaving,” Candace said, rolling her eyes. “You’ve already used the banishment card.”

  Alejandro grew quiet. He plopped down on the cushioned bench, resting his forearms on his knees. “I’m serious. It will happen again.”

  “How can we stop it from happening?” Shane asked.

  “Thank you, Shane. He is more concerned about me than you are.”

  Candace sat down next to Alejandro, taking one of his hands. “If you’re lying, I’ll figure out a way to banish you myself. Tell me what’s going on.”

  “It’s my cousin, Tenebro. The one who banished me before. He’s always hated me because I’m part warlock.”

  “You can’t fight him?”

  “A pure demon is more powerful than I am. I can’t even feel his essence.”

  “Now you know how I feel,” Candace said, raising her hand. “You always get the jump on me. Tonight being a perfect example.”

  Shane moved closer, furrowing his brows as he assessed the situation. “If you were banished, how are you out now?”

  “He doesn’t make them permanent, so he can chase me through realms and do it again, preferably once I’ve settled in and gotten comfortable somewhere.”

  “They say all families are fucked up, but that’s taking it to another level.” Shane pulled up a deck chair, settling in like he was about to hear a story. “How many times have you been banished?”

  “Phew, I’ve lost count. It’s been centuries.” He stared at his hands, flipping them over as if the answer was hidden in his palms. “This is the only time I’ve ever returned to the same place.” Alejandro looked at Candace. She could tell every ounce of snark had been drained from his body. “You’re the only one I wanted to come back to. The only one I felt deserved an explanation. I couldn’t stand the thought of you thinking I’d just up and left.”

  “Then why have you been such a raging asshole?”

  “I thought if I projected that energy, Tenebro would just leave me alone.”

  “This is not where I thought this conversation was headed,” Shane said, making the soft sound of an explosion with his mouth. “My mind is officially blown.”

  “I’m glad she found you, Shane. It makes me feel better knowing you’ll be here in case it happens again.”

  “I was so mad at you.” Candace took Alejandro’s face in her hands and gently kissed his face. “I’m so sorry.”

  The kisses turned more passionate as their hands moved along each other’s body, tugging on hair and tearing at buttons. Alejandro removed her dress, slipping it over her head as she dropped to her knees in front of his seat on the bench. Her curvy ass was exposed to the night air and Shane’s hungry eyes.

  Alejandro exhaled as she took his cock in her mouth. He maintained eye contact with Shane, motioning for him to come closer. When he didn’t budge, Alejandro bent forward and slid his hand down her back, grabbing one of her full cheeks and exposing her even more. He stroked her silky skin, encouraging Shane to join in once again.

  Candace pulled her mouth from his member and looked over her shoulder at Shane. She smiled, adjusting her knees to bring her hips up to a higher angle. Her soft curves beckoned for him to come closer and join them. This time he didn’t hesitate.

  Shane gripped her hips, using his knees to spread hers further apart. His cock twitched as it touched her wetness, aching to press closer to her heat. Every muscle in his body strained with anticipation. Her back arched to welcome him as he pressed forward through the tightness until he was fully surrounded by her warmth.

  “So fucking hot,” Shane groaned, trying to match his thrusts to the rhythm of her head bobbing up and down in Alejandro’s lap. Her moans grew louder as Shane gripped her hips harder, increasing the pace and force of his movement until the boat rocked with approval.

  Alejandro cradled the back of her head, trying his hardest not to press too hard and releasing his grip at the slightest sound of gagging. It was not his first ménage, but it was his first with Candace and it was obvious to him that Shane was new to sharing.

  It was also just as obvious they both enjoyed being watched, engaging in an odd sort of cock fight with their eyes. Each blink and fierce look corresponded with a thrust or moan they had drawn out from Candace. When they became locked in a staring contest, Candace was done for. Not that she was complaining. She enjoyed pleasuring with her mouth as much as she enjoyed being taken hard from behind.

  Candace came first, giving them both permission to finish. It was only a matter of who would blink first. Alejandro was the victor. He watched Shane buck wildly, flooding her body with his release and trying not to completely collapse on top of her. Alejandro threw his head back and climaxed in her mouth, growling so loud even Shane’s body shook in response.

  “I should have warned you about that yell,” Candace said after swallowing.

  “I think he scared all the fish out of the lake.” Shane laughed, squirming as his sensitive tip quivered while he separated himself from her.

  “You have to admit we’re a good fit.” Alejandro pulled her close against him before reaching past her and including Shane in the hug.

  Shane relaxed in the pile, still trying to catch his breath. “I never could have imagined that happening in my lifetime.”

  “You need a lot more lifetimes,” Alejandro said with a wink. “Trust me, one is never enough.”

  Candace stood before them naked, trying to figure out the straps on her dress to get it back over her head. “How do we prevent another banishment?”

  “We may have just hastened it,” he said, sighing with frustration. “That was too enjoyable for him to let me have it forever.”

  “Come on, there has to be so
mething we can do.”

  “He’s stronger than I am and way more conniving … and I thought I could be pretty damn conniving.”

  “Don’t sell yourself short,” Candace said. “Plenty of witches are afraid of you and you’ll always be stronger than I am.”

  “Thanks for the pep talk.”

  “Holy water?” Shane suggested.

  “Bullshit.”

  “Crucifix?”

  “Stop watching so many movies.”

  “Everyone has a weakness.”

  “Salt and iron do have a weakening effect.”

  “Why salt and iron?”

  “Salt is considered to be a purifier and iron is a conductor of electricity, so you could hypothetically drain his energy.”

  “Hypothetically?”

  “I’ve never witnessed or tried it. He’s usually around me before I know it.”

  Candace sat cross-legged next to him. “How does he banish you?”

  “I never remember the exact details, but I know each time has been through fire. He enjoys watching me burn. I’m convinced he keeps me from remembering fully so I never learn the lesson and can’t figure out a means of escape.”

  “That’s horrible!” She buried her face against his chest and wrapped her arms around him.

  He stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head. “At least now we have a plan.”

  “What’s the plan?”

  “Yeah, did I miss it?” Shane asked, lifting his head up from his position splayed out on the floor.

  “If I disappear, you will look after her. That’s the plan.”

  Shane propped up on his elbows and frowned. “I’m feeling a little used. I never really planned on being part of the B team.”

  “Who said anything about the B team? You’re part of this little family now, as much as I am. I just expect you to become her sole protector if Tenebro succeeds again.”

  “You have my word,” Shane said.

  “I think you’re forgetting who the vampire is. I’ll be the one keeping an eye on Shane. But Tenebro can’t win. Not this time.”

  Seven

  Shane built himself a chamber at Decadence and had plans to make his stately home more hospitable to Candace. He wanted to fortify the club with iron and salt, but that would also mean trapping Alejandro inside and the warlock was having none of that.

  “It’s no way to live,” he said. “I’d be giving him too much of my energy if I let him control my very movements.” Candace and Shane countered with the argument he spent most of his time inside the club with them anyway, but they ultimately had to agree with him.

  If Tenebro was upset during periods of happiness for Alejandro, he had to be fuming. The time spent indoors had improved their ménage skills tremendously where diversity and acrobatics were concerned. Partnering with a female who possessed the ability to levitate didn’t hurt. Candace enjoyed individual time with them as well. Shane’s sweetness and eagerness to please combined with Alejandro’s belief that he owned her body when inside her, created the perfect dark and light pleasure cookie.

  Months had passed without so much as a swarm of locusts or any other possible sign Tenebro was even in the same realm. No one wanted to suggest the possibility he had moved on for fear it would jinx the current calm. The club was busier than ever. Alejandro made a sport of materializing in random convention halls, using his powers of mental suggestion to bring in business. Tourists walked through the doors who never knew they wanted to see a burlesque show, but Candace and the performers treated them like V.I.P. guests.

  “You really need to stop doing that,” she scolded him.

  “Doing what?”

  “I highly doubt these rabbis walked in here of their own accord. Release them.”

  “You’re no fun at all.”

  “Now.”

  Alejandro stared at the men, exhaling deeply. He made flicking motion with his hand and the group of men stood up simultaneously, marching out in a single file line. “Happy?”

  “Very. Thank you.”

  Shane entered the club after working in his office all day. “Honey, and honey’s warlock-demon, I’m home. What’s with march of the rabbis?”

  Candace motioned with her thumb towards Alejandro. “This one misbehaving as usual. And how was your day?”

  “You’ll never believe who called.” He groaned as he said the name. “Professor Wallace.”

  “He’s the one who wanted to start the vampire museum,” she explained to Alejandro.

  “Why? Your kind are so boring,” he teased.

  “He claims to have a coffin,” Shane continue. “Remember those he mentioned? I think it’s from Italy.”

  “How the fuck did he manage that?”

  “Everything has a price.”

  Candace paced back and forth, wringing her hands. “I need to go see it. I’ll buy it from him and send it back.”

  “Why? You said those coffins were most likely for humans, not vampires.”

  “I’ll feel better if I know for sure. I don’t want a human corpse being passed off as vampire either.”

  “It’s probably empty. Every now and then they get excited about some tomb and open it up to just find some bones and a lot of goo.”

  “He hasn’t opened it yet?”

  “No. Professor Wallace said he was hoping you would join him, since you’re his little diamond and all.”

  Candace grabbed her stomach and made a retching sound. “He’s probably keeping it in his bedroom.”

  “Oh, that’s another bit of news. He said he bought an old warehouse building near downtown.”

  “Great. He’ll have more room to pile up coffins.”

  “Let’s go,” Alejandro said, jumping up and rubbing his hands together. “Candace won’t let me take over minds so it’s going to be a boring night.”

  “I’ll see if he can meet us,” Shane said, wandering off with his phone to his ear.

  “Are you sure you want to come? Landry can hang out with you if you’re bored.”

  “And miss a date with a nutty professor and a corpse? Not a chance.”

  “This professor … he’s not so crazy about warlocks.”

  “I guarantee you he’s never met an actual warlock.”

  “Still. He’s elderly. I don’t like him, but we need to be somewhat nice to him.”

  “He’ll never know. Tell him I’m an insurance agent. I promise to be on my best behavior.” He crossed his heart and started to hold up his fingers as a pledge, but instead pressed them against his lips, simulating oral sex with his tongue.

  “Save that for later.”

  Shane returned carrying a backpack. “He’s there now. We’re welcome to join him.” They watched him slip his arms through the straps.

  Candace fiddled with one of the metal clasps. “What’s in the backpack?”

  “I grabbed some cash from my chamber. If he’s ready to deal, I’d rather get it over with and never have to see him again … until he gets another one.”

  “Good thinking.”

  “Or we can go find a roulette table and let it ride,” Alejandro suggested. Candace flashed him a disapproving glance. “Fine. Away we go to rescue a coffin.”

  *****

  The building stood in the Stratosphere’s shadow. Its wide opening recessed several feet within a white concrete face. The upper level had large multi-paned windows topped by curved accent windows.

  “It has a mausoleum-esque quality about it, but there’s ample parking,” Alejandro said, imitating a real estate agent.

  “They’ll be dying to get in. Womp womp,” Shane added.

  “I’m leaving you two comedians behind.” Candace walked through a heavy door, holding it open for the guys. The interior space was expansive and empty except for a few random cardboard boxes and metal shelving strewn about. Several hallways sprouted off from the main room in every direction. “Professor Wallace?” she called out.

  The sound of clanging and whistling came from a ha
llway in front of them. She called out again as they got closer.

  “Down here,” a voice called out. “In the basement. Watch your step.”

  Shane took the lead, following the voice until he reached a door propped open by a bucket filled with debris from the empty warehouse. Concrete steps were lit up by fluorescent lights that buzzed with a constant annoying frequency. Marks in the dust showed that something had been dragged down the steps.

  Professor Wallace popped his head out from a side room at the bottom of the stairs. “This is an exciting night!”

  “You must be thrilled,” Candace said. “I have to say this building is impressive.”

  “There she is,” Professor Wallace climbed back up several stairs just so he could offer his arm to her. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

  She pointed behind her. “This is Alejandro.”

  “I’m her insurance agent.”

  “Nice to meet you. Maybe you can give me the friend’s discount to insure this building. I’ll have to get one of your cards before you leave.”

  “Yes, you will,” Candace said, smirking over her shoulder. “Where is this historical find of yours?”

  Professor Wallace held her hand and led the way to the side room. “It’s not climate controlled upstairs yet. The cement walls of the basement provide the perfect temperature.” He stopped, allowing her to move in front of him. “Voila!”

  Candace gasped. “It’s beautiful! I thought you were receiving a coffin. This is a sarcophagus. Look at the detailed carving.” She walked around the marble structure, reaching out to touch it before stopping herself.

  “You can touch it.” He stood beside her, running his hand along the smooth material. “Wouldn’t it make a great welcome desk? The body will be placed behind glass. We won’t leave it in here.”

  She faced him and shook her head. “I came because I’d still like you to reconsider this whole idea. I’ll reimburse you for the purchase price.”

  “It’s priceless.”