What did matter to Janine was serving Jesus. She accepted Christ as her Savior when she was young and grew up attending and participating in church regularly. But Janine’s faith was deeper than just getting together with the youth group kids or going to a worship service on Sundays. She was passionate about her personal relationship with Christ and committed to growing as a Christian.
When her parents looked through her well-marked Bible after her death, they found part of Psalm 119 highlighted. They don’t know if Janine saw these words as her life-defining Scripture, but looking back, the verses seem to reflect who she was and how she lived: “How can a young man [or young woman] keep his [or her] way pure? / By living according to your word. / I seek you with all my heart; / Do not let me stray from your commands” (vv. 9-10).
Janine seemed to understand instinctively that the best way to bring others to Christ was not to preach at them, but to show them the love of Christ. “She didn’t push Christ; she wasn’t nagging,” her mother explains. “She was just always caring about other people. People could feel her care.”
If a classmate or friend seemed interested, Janine invited that person to her church’s monthly evangelistic service. But mostly, she just loved everyone around her. She saw her life as a mission field and looked for ways to bring her Christian faith into conversations.
When Janine first considered joining a traveling softball team, she hesitated. The team often played games on Sundays, and she would have to miss church. She talked about the situation with her parents and her youth pastor, and they encouraged her to play and to look at softball as a mission field. Janine took their challenge seriously. When her team went to represent its division in the World Series, she asked her pastor to pray that she would have the chance to introduce Christ to some of her teammates. She never even mentioned the game.
Her passion for Christ and her commitment to ministry brought Janine to a ceremony honoring her youth leaders on a cold January night in 2003. “She had fourteen thousand other things to do,” her mentor and junior-high youth pastor, Dave Graber, says. “She didn’t have time to serve us, but she did.”
Janine and several other members of the youth group waited tables while the attendees ate, then took turns sharing their own testimonies and future plans. When it was Janine’s turn, she sat on a stool at the front of the room and spoke from her heart. Dave remembers, “She talked about her passion for serving Christ. She told us she wanted to be a youth leader—maybe not a youth pastor, but definitely someone who works with youth and helps teens understand who Christ is.”
When she was done speaking, Janine slipped on her coat and left the ceremony early; she still had homework to do. Less than a half mile from the banquet, as she drove through an intersection, a tractor-trailer with faulty brakes ran a red light and hit her car on the driver’s door. Paramedics rushed her to the hospital and did everything they could, but she never responded to medical treatment. Janine probably died instantly.
The entire community mourned with the Ramers. Keith and Florence stood in the receiving line for more than ten hours as hundreds of people waited in the frigid Midwest winter night to share their sympathy with the family. Some of them knew Janine well. Some she had met only once. But Janine was a person who affected people, even in the briefest meetings.
Even in death, Janine’s passion for Christ changed lives. George, her softball coach, struggled with the sudden loss of his favorite player, but he found comfort listening to Janine’s pastor during her memorial service. George began to understand that this positive, generous girl had seemed so different because of her relationship with Jesus Christ. George started to attend the Ramers’ church and eventually became a Christian because of Janine’s influence on his life. “I always believed in God, but I wasn’t a very religious person,” George explains now. “I know that Janine’s in heaven, and [becoming a Christian] is the way that I will get to see her in heaven someday and say thank you.”
Janine’s youth group also looked for positive ways to remember her. As they grieved together, one of the stories about Janine that came up over and over was the way she “met Ray Jameson.” A few years before her death, Janine had traveled to Colorado with several members of the youth group for a national youth convention. Goofing around between the sessions, Janine decided to meet people. She walked up to a complete stranger, another conference attendee, and pretended to think he was “Ray Jameson,” her long-lost friend. She pulled it off so well, and so kindly, that the conference attendee appreciated the joke and became friends with the kids from Ohio.
After her death, a leader in Janine’s youth group launched the Ray Jameson Project. In honor of Janine’s outgoing nature, the church now trains student leaders to strike up conversations with strangers in malls or other public places and guide the discussion to spiritual topics.
Throughout high school, Janine kept a journal that chronicled her spiritual life. When her parents read it after her death, they found a quote that Janine copied from somewhere. It seemed to accurately sum up the way the passionate sixteen-year-old lived her life: “Lots of people may have lots of opinions about you, but you’re only playing for an audience of one.”
Janine Ramer lived so well for her audience of One that she changed a community.
I rejoice in following your statutes,
as one rejoices in great riches.
I meditate on your precepts
and consider your ways.
I delight in your decrees;
I will not neglect your word.
(Psalm 119:14-16)
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jaime haidle
Overcoming Insecurity
For as long as she could remember, Jaime Haidle’s mind was a giant aqueduct, filled to the brim with other people’s thoughts. At times she was so consumed with what others were thinking about her that she couldn’t tell what she was thinking. Worry and tension were her constant companions.
From the very start, Jaime was a perfectionist, afraid to mess up in any way. She questioned the purpose of life, and her life in particular. Why was she on earth? She wasn’t sure, but she felt that she must do it right—no, perfectly.
Jaime made a decision before her sophomore year of college that no matter what, she was going to make God a priority in her life. Jaime had grown up in a mainline church, focused on repetition and good deeds, and she believed these were important in serving Him faithfully. She wanted to please God as well as everyone else.
Jaime met Chrisy, a Christian who went to weekly meetings of Campus Crusade for Christ (a national student group with chapters at many colleges and universities). With Jaime’s new commitment to pursue God, she decided to go with Chrisy every week.
During one of the first meetings of the year, they talked about Jesus and having a personal relationship with Him. At the end the speaker said that maybe some of the audience had never asked Jesus to be a part of their lives, and they could do that right then. That night Jaime confessed that she was a sinner and needed Him.
Things began to change. For starters, Jaime was stunned at hearing God’s Word come alive. In her old church, the Bible seemed like a set of good principles, but Jaime was learning that the Word had significance for her every day. She was blown away.
Jaime was excited about her new relationship with the Lord, but insecurities still consumed her. During her freshman year of college, she had gained about thirty pounds, and soon unhealthy eating habits began to control her emotions. Jaime constantly thought about what she looked like. She had such a terrible self-image that she didn’t want to walk across campus for fear that someone would recognize her. Jaime tried talking with her mom about her weight and concern about food, but her mom couldn’t recognize the depth of Jaime’s struggle. Repeatedly she said, “Oh Jaime, stop. It’s like you are obsessed.”
Jaime was obsessed!
In reality she wasn’t fat, but she truly was haunted by her lack of control. Jaime even snuck into her roommates’ food. One
night she ate almost an entire bag of gingersnaps. She felt sick and undone emotionally. Jaime had been binge eating for a while, but that one night was particularly horrible. She called her mom, sobbing that she had a problem.
That week Jaime began going to a nutritionist and a counselor on campus. Her eating habits soon became normal again, but her thought life was still a losing battle. Jaime’s insecurities began to hinder her ability to make friendships and reach out to others. Even though she felt worthless much of the time, God continued to work in her life.
At a Christmas conference that year, Jaime was challenged to spend time with the Lord in prayer and in the Bible. She also heard about summer projects in which college students move to a resort area, form new friendships, and receive training and discipleship. Jaime tucked away the idea in the back of her mind.
All that next spring semester, she enjoyed having her first quiet times with the Lord. Jaime loved her new relationship with God. During this time, He kept nudging the young woman toward a summer project. But all the while, she continued to struggle terribly with her body image. She had given Jesus her life, but she couldn’t trust Him with her eating and desire to lose weight. Jaime just felt the whole thing was too vain and unimportant. Why would God want to answer her prayer to lose weight?
Jaime grew excited about the upcoming summer project but was nervous that her obsessive thoughts would distract her. She marveled at how on one hand, she could experience victory, but on the other, she still was losing other battles. The night before she left, Jaime pleaded with the Lord to change all her thoughts from food and her body to Him: “Holy Fire, burn away my desire for anything that is not of You and is of me. I want more of You and less of me. Empty me and fill me with You. Jesus, only You truly satisfy.”
God answered Jaime’s prayer! She saw firsthand His ability to bring victory over that huge stronghold. She was able to go on the project and completely focus on the Lord. Still, in light of all He had done for her, the idea of having confidence still seemed impossible. In desperation, Jaime studied the characteristics of God and what He said about His children.
Jaime started learning how to share her faith. On her first outreach, she was so nervous she was sick to her stomach. She remembers seeing the bathroom in the distance, wishing she could run and hide in there for the rest of the day. Later that day, she was having a quiet time at a picnic table when the Lord prompted her to go over and talk to a girl.
Finally Jaime obeyed and introduced herself to Lana. Jaime explained about why she was in Lake Tahoe and asked if Lana would read a little booklet with her. When she finished, Lana said the message was exactly what she had been looking for. She had actually been meeting with a cult and was about to join. She recognized this message was different and true, and she thanked Jaime for talking to her.
The Holy Spirit’s work overwhelmed Jaime, and she realized that sharing the gospel was something God had called her to do for the rest of her life, no matter how scary it seemed.
Most of the time these days, Jaime just feels swept away with Him, trying to keep up with what He is doing through her. She even moved back into the dorms, where He’s used her to reach out to incoming freshmen. Jaime also got the chance to share the gospel with some Japanese students throughout the year, and the following spring God sent her on a mission trip to Japan.
All the while, Jaime has learned she must daily lay down her need to be perfect, rejecting such thoughts as: I need to pray more, share my faith more, have greater faith, love God more.
She continues to pray that God will reveal and heal her unhealthy ideas. He’s shown Jaime that she is still in process. She’s always known intellectually that God loved her, but she has found it difficult to accept His profound love for her apart from her servanthood.
Is she sold out for Jesus? You bet. But for Jaime that is the easy part. She’s still on a more difficult journey in her heart: learning to believe Jesus is sold out for her too.
You then, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses, entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others.
(2 Timothy 2:1-2)
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perpetua and felicitas
Giving Their All
The time was around AD 200 in North Africa. Rome was under the rule of Septimus Severus. As emperor, he proposed to bring all citizens under syncretism, which meant the acceptance of all gods under the worship of Sol invictus—the Unconquered Sun. But two groups would not conform to this type of religion: Jews and Christians. Severus decided to stop the spread of both, and persecution of Christians (as well as Jews) quickly increased.
But within this religious culture a strong Christian community existed. Perpetua, a young, educated, well-to-do woman, had become a Christian. She lived with her husband, her infant son, and her beloved slave, Felicitas, in Carthage.
Though she was still nursing her infant son, Perpetua and Felicitas were arrested by Roman officials, who threw them into prison. Quickly, Perpetua’s father went to rescue her. He knew she was in danger of losing her life and that there was an easy escape: deny she was a Christian.
She responded, “Father, do you see this vase here?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Could it be called by any other name than what it is?”
“No.”
“I cannot be called anything other than what I am—a Christian.”
The word angered her father. He pleaded, “Think of your mother, your brother, your aunt. Please, Perpetua, think of me, your aging father. But most of all, think of your little baby!”
She agonized over her father’s pain, but she knew there was no turning back. Young women did not deny their fathers’ pleas in that patriarchal society. Perpetua’s choice to remain faithful to God had disgraced her family. Finally, her father left her and Felicitas to suffer the consequences of their decision: being devoured by beasts.
Two deacons, Tertius and Pomponius, tried to take care of Perpetua and Felicitas while they awaited their death sentence. The two men bribed the prison soldiers to give Perpetua permission to nurse her baby. The young mother wrote in her journal: “My prison had suddenly become a palace, so that I wanted to be there rather than anywhere else.”
Felicitas was expecting a child at the time of the arrest. During her eighth month of pregnancy, the faithful slave gave birth. She told the jailers, “Now my sufferings are only mine. But when I face the beasts there will be another who will live in me, and will suffer for me since I shall be suffering for him.” Providentially, Felicitas’s child was adopted by a Christian woman.
Perpetua saw the profound grief her decision was causing her brother. He said, “Dear sister, you are greatly privileged; surely you might ask for a vision to discover whether you are to be condemned or freed.” Faithfully, she asked the Lord for a vision.
She then saw a bronze ladder reaching to the heavens. It was narrow and looked as if only one person could climb the steps. On the side of the ladder were many weapons—swords, spears, hooks, and spikes. Perpetua knew that if she were to try to climb the ladder without caution and care, she would be mangled. At the bottom of the ladder lay a dragon, waiting to attack anyone who would try and climb the ladder. Perpetua then saw Saturus, the mentor who taught her about Christianity, beckoning her to follow him to the heavens. She sensed the dragon was afraid of her and dreaded her strength. Once she had witnessed this vision, she told her brother that she believed she must suffer for the faith and not go free.
One morning, Roman guards hurried Perpetua and Felicitas to their hearing. Her father appeared, pleading with her one final time to have mercy on her baby and burn incense to the gods. The governor asked Perpetua to have pity on her father and offer the sacrifice for the welfare of her family.
“I will not!” she vehemently cried.
“Are you a Christian?” asked the governor.
“Yes, I am.”
When h
er father continued to plead for Perpetua to renounce her faith, the governor ordered her father to be beaten. She felt as if the blows actually landed on her body. Finally, Perpetua and Felicitus were condemned to the beasts. They returned to their cell knowing their sentence, yet in high spirits.
On March 7, 203, marching to the amphitheater with calm hearts, the women trembled with joy rather than fear. Perpetua’s countenance was one of peace, testifying to her love for God. The two sisters in Christ were led to the gates, where they were forced to wear the robes of the god Ceres. Perpetua begged for the freedom to declare Jesus as Lord. The officials finally complied with her request and she began to sing hymns to the Lord, rejoicing that she had fellowship with the sufferings of Christ.
The two young women were stripped naked, and the officials set loose a mad heifer to devour their flesh. The crowd was horrified to see that a young girl and a nursing mother were to die, so the officials gave them tunics to cover their bodies.
The mad animal violently tossed Perpetua and crushed Felicitas. The Christian men to be martyred entered the stadium, and Perpetua encouraged them to stand strong to the end despite the savage death they faced.
Shortly after the death of these women, Christian persecution subsided for a time. Perhaps the Roman world glimpsed its own savagery and was repelled by the cruelty of the human heart. Maybe the spectators who witnessed the testimony of the young women saw a glimpse of Jesus as the windows of heaven opened and He welcomed them with loving arms.
I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
(Galatians 2:20)
Sister Freaks Page 9
