“Don’t move any further!” The man closest blurted out, his stick rising.
“You don’t have to be nervous,” I told him, fixing my eyes onto his, “I’d just like to talk to you before we go.”
“We are just here–“
He didn’t get chance to finish what he was saying because that was when I leapt. Instead of moving forward to help him, his partner panicked and moved back towards the door, shaking his baton a little higher, but nothing more than that.
Circling the first man, who was now in the middle of the room, a sense of power filled my chest. “Don’t you want to talk to me?” I goaded him. “I thought you wanted to talk to me… to ask me questions.” I felt like a predator, playing with a helpless animal. But I had to remember, he wasn’t weak…scared, yes…but not weak. I would have to be fast to take him down, like I intended.
He watched with wary eyes, his weapon pointed straight out towards my chest – his hands still shaking. The room was quiet for a short moment – fear and indecision hanging in the air as if it had frozen there. That’s when I attacked.
Everything moved at once. His arms and weapon flurried ineffectually in the air as I dived towards him. Two gentle popping sounds accompanied a breeze-like sensation passing by my arm and head, and I guessed that his weapon must have fired some sort of shot. Thankfully it missed.
Spinning to the side I avoided my target’s arm as he brought the weapon around to hit me, and ducking behind him, I escaped the series of shots that his colleague fired from the doorway. Each of the blasts – four, I think – smashed into the guard’s body instead, making him stumble backwards onto me. He showed no other effect than that from being hit, though I was sure it would not have been the case if the shots had hit me.
Keeping the man’s body between me and his partner, I landed swift punches to the soft area in his back over his kidneys. But there was no soft area – just as I suspected – and I realised there was only one way to end this, as I wanted.
My chance came as the struggling man tried to throw me off his back, where I’d fixed myself, holding on tight to the material of his suit. He swung his arm too wide and high to do anything productive, but I was able to slide my arm under his and lock it around the back of his neck.
Still trying to dislodge me and provide his colleague a clear target, he stepped from side-to-side. I pulled back with all my weight, using the only real weapon I had against his strength. It slowed his movements enough that I remained behind him, blocked from view. With a final surge of effort, I grunted a deep breath of air as I pulled myself higher on his back, and drew back my free hand.
“Shoot him now!” He screamed. It was too late for him and he knew it.
Maybe he thought speaking aloud might stop me?
It wouldn’t, but he might have thought it. No. My target was clear – the man’s throat was exposed – and with a final glance at his companion, I pounded my fist into the soft hollow of his neck.
The effect was immediate and conclusive. As my knuckles made contact with the only yielding part of the man, his body crumpled to the floor. I landed heavily on top of him, jarring myself but struggling immediately to untangle my arm from beneath the deflated figure. A second or so later I was on my feet, ready for the next attack. But it didn’t come: the man by the door was frozen in place.
Shock.
I realised this at the same time I grasped that I had been right: the weak spot in the neck was key. I might not know why, but I knew it was. And, the reaction of the other guard told me that this did not happen normally.
Even though the man at the door had not moved, it slid open silently. With a gut-wrenching screech of rage, the commander burst into the room, diving straight for me. Spurred by anger and with speed and strength I couldn’t match he grappled me to the ground and landed a volley of punches to my head and stomach. The best I could do was lift my arms to shield my head; there was no way for me to fight back.
“How did you do it, you freak?!” His blows rained down on me, punctuating his words. “This – isn’t – right!”
Finally, he let me go. I rolled onto my side, thinking to stand up, but I was too disoriented. My arms remained over my face and I felt warm wet trickling across my fingers; it could only have been blood. Breath wheezed from my chest and I wondered whether he might have just broken my ribs. It seemed likely.
The room remained quiet, but I knew both men were still there: shuffling feet, then a thump as something hit a wall. Beneath my arm I opened my eye to see. One was already swelling shut with bruising, so I couldn’t see well, but I saw that I was alone with the commander now. Perhaps the noise I’d heard had been him throwing the other man out.
“How did you do it?” He asked, barely concealing the fury in his voice.
I closed my eyes again. I didn’t want to talk to this creature. I had no idea what was wrong with them, but I couldn’t believe that we were both the same. It was impossible to believe that we were both human.
“YOU WILL ANSWER ME!”
The weight of his body was on top of me in an instant, ripping my arms away from my face and forcing me to look at him.
“How are you doing this? How are you blocking us out? It isn’t possible!”
I shook my head, not daring to speak. Not daring to hope that somehow, however impossible it might seem, he couldn’t read my thoughts.
“Answer me!”
His hand slapped into my cheek, stinging but not stirring me to respond.
“There is something wrong with you. You are not like the others – how can that be?”
Leaning away from me, he scrutinised my face as he sneered his question through clenched teeth. Again I stayed silent; it felt like he was talking more to himself than me.
“None are violent now. No one questions our setting or rules – so why do you?”
“I like working things out.” I replied, tasting blood in my mouth.
“And my men,” he asked, his voice growing soft, “how did you work that out?”
I couldn’t help myself – I had to gloat, he’d told me it himself. “I don’t know, a lucky throw, I guess.”
Realisation registered on his face as my words sank in, his features twisting into a mask of fury. Without a word the commander yanked me forwards, rolling me towards him so that I could see his face as he pulled his fist back and swung. This time the pain blossomed bright and red inside my head, the blow finding its mark. When the red faded to black, I slipped gratefully into the darkness.
* * *
I looked from one face to another – the men were bland duplicates of one another and I found them completely lacking, now that I had decided they were not human. One of them nodded encouragingly, offering me a half-smile, like he fully expected me to turn Cassie in. They knew nothing at all.
Their commander was completely different. There was something more deadly – more human? – about him. Even though I hated to admit it to myself, his volatility and emotions made him seem different to the others I had seen.
What made him different?
Since their first attempt to remove me from my room, they had not bothered again. Instead, they had returned with a table and chairs…and restraints. So here we were…my interview…there had been so many faces now, so many questions, I had no idea of how long I had been here.
The pair in front of me turned toward the door in unison, responding to some unheard command I guessed. It looked as though I was getting a change of company…
A few seconds later the door opened, revealing the two guards who now stood permanently outside my door and a third familiar figure. In silence they swapped places, so that I was left only with the commander when the door slid shut.
Beneath the table my fingertips pressed together so hard, it felt like I was crushing them into one another. Ever since he had battered me the first time, the leader, who sat opposite me now, had spent every waking moment we were together trying to goad me into lashing out at him. So far I�
�d managed to resist the intense temptation, but only just. With my hand shackled beneath the table and my feet bound, it would not have been a smart move on my part, but it was tempting – so tempting.
I’d been beaten several times – although there was only this man and one other in his team who seemed to have a proclivity for violence – and I had sense enough to know that if he wanted to, they could easily kill me. I still couldn’t understand where their strength came from, all I knew was that there was something much more dangerous inside them, something I feared more than pain or violence.
Was he inside my head?
I couldn’t tell. I felt like I was blocking them but I couldn’t be sure.
“I’m heading across to the Family Quarter in a few minutes, Balik. Cassie will be with me by the end of the night – she can’t keep hiding…unless she’s dead that is.” He grinned, enjoying the discomfort I was unable to hide when he spoke of Cassie. “Are you sure there isn’t anything you’d like to tell me about you two? Maybe something filthy that only the two of you know? I know how you kids can be – driven by your hormones and instinct…”
I turned away, looking down at the table in silence.
“Come on Balik! You don’t need to be shy any more – not with me – we’ve spent lots of time together haven’t we? Surely that counts for something.”
I stayed quiet, knowing that this was just the beginning.
* * *
On and on, round and round. And round. Question after question. No rest. No peace. No respite. My head was spinning giddy and all the words began to overlap with one another until I believed that I might actually be going crazy.
“Stop talking, stop asking me!” I cried out.
It didn’t help. The questions still came and as I bit down hard on my bottom lip, I realised I was talking. Words were pouring out of my mouth, even though I wasn’t thinking about them and couldn’t concentrate enough to understand what I was actually saying. I tried to stop, clamping my bound hands across my mouth, terrified that I was really voicing my thoughts, terrified of what I might give way.
Think of something else. Think of nothing. Think of nothing at all.
I began repeating these words over and over in my head to block out the other voices. Hundreds and thousands of times I said them, until finally my mind closed down and the world stopped spinning.
* * *
I woke up with a start, my head bobbing low on my neck and startling me awake. Everything was stiff and sore: my neck, my hands, my head… There was nowhere on my body that didn’t ache from being bruised and battered, or from sitting in the same position for hours on end.
Looking up I found the commander was still with me.
Had I slept for long or just a minute?
A second thought occurred to me: was it sleep or had I been unconscious again?
Sitting here – staring at each other in silence – was worse than the incessant questioning. Even though I wasn’t going to answer his questions, I couldn’t help but wonder why they had stopped.
I hated it here so much. Oh, to get away. Far away, to a place I had never even seen before – anywhere but here with these creatures.
Even if I couldn’t get up and physically leave the table, I could escape a little couldn’t I? I let my eyes glaze over, staring unseeingly at the blank grey wall and imagined.
Cassie…Cassie…
I could see her in a school lesson, chewing on her lip nervously before giving a presentation…so self-conscious, not aware of how beautiful she was… At the park, lying beside me in the grass, eyes closed, skin pale but luminous…smiling to herself at some unspoken thought… Kissing her…
I smiled despite myself when I remembered how easily Cassie would blush when we drew near. She did make me laugh. More memories: my heart swelling inside my chest when I recalled how it felt to have her touch my skin and press her body to mine…
That’s right, I coaxed myself, just drift away from here and think of Cassie, safe and alive.
“Balik.”
I heard my name, but it sounded a long way away. And it wasn’t Cassie speaking and so I didn’t really care.
“Balik!”
The voice was more insistent now. I opened my eyes and found myself staring at a grey wall. Thick fingers gripped my face and pulled my gaze towards the face of a man. Blinking a few times, my vision cleared and I recognised the commander. I knew where I was again.
“I’m leaving, Balik. To find Cassie, just like we discussed.”
Discussed?
Had I talked to him about Cassie? No! I wouldn’t have. No – Cassie had only been here with me, inside my head. She was just a picture now, a beautiful memory from when I’d felt something wonderful…felt something other than pain and confusion.
“There are Medics coming to see you. They need to do some tests to find out what’s been going wrong with you, and then…well, you don’t need to think about that really.”
My stomach lurched and I rocked forward, heaving. Nothing came out of my body, despite the spasms gripping me and it was a long while before I got my breath back.
“It’s a good thing we’ve not been feeding you isn’t it – that would have made a real mess.” The commander leaned in, grinning at me. “Who would have though that you and Joel were such good friends? You seem very upset that he’s dead. He liked your girl you know? He liked Cassie a lot.”
His words dredged up images from my brain that I wished I could destroy.
“You should have seen the things Joel wanted to do with her…I did.” He tapped his head. “I bet she wanted it too you know, they probably did all the stuff I saw in his head when they were alone together on their placement. It felt more like memories than fantasy, you know.”
“Shurrup,” I slurred, unable to put any strength into my voice.
“What’s wrong – don’t you want to hear about your girl, Balik? I thought you liked talking to me about her.”
I didn’t – I hadn’t – couldn’t have.
“Or is it thinking about your friend Joel that’s got you feeling secretive?”
My stomach rolled again. Somewhere, between the questions and the beatings, I had been taken from this room and carried somewhere. I knew it was outside the four walls of my prison, but I couldn’t say where – and they’d shown me Joel. As an inducement to help me answer his questions, the commander had shown me what happened to us when we weren’t needed any more. I had been forced to watch as Joel was put on a table and cut open like an animal. They removed his organs – the heart most important of all – before piercing him with tubes to draw out as much of his blood as possible.
Joel had been unconscious when it happened to him: he didn’t move as blades sliced his skin and they began to pull him apart. But, the commander had promised me as we watched, that I would not have that courtesy. For killing his men he would see to it that I was dealt with properly…
There had been other things happening in the room: more people working at tables in the background, with similar shrouded shapes laid out on them. Through exhaustion and fear I couldn’t focus on anything beyond the horror I had been brought to see. I watched Joel die. I’m sure that would have been enough for anyone.
“It would have been easier if you had just done what you were supposed to Balik: grow up, fall in love and die – not too much to ask is it?” The commander pushed himself away from the table, obviously ready to leave. “I will back with the Medics soon,” he promised, as he walked out of the room.
Chapter 22
Time was irrelevant; in fact, it did not exist.
All that existed in this world was confusion and pain. Mostly pain.
The dark veil of unconsciousness pulled away as I came back to myself. Slight nausea accompanied the sensation and I knew immediately that I had blacked out rather than just been sleeping.
I was face down, lying flat on the cold floor of the room I remembered being in before the darkness came. Blood had rusted in my mo
uth – caking my teeth with a thick unpleasant coating as I lay oblivious – and I could feel a new tender swelling near my temple.
That would explain the unconsciousness then.
My hearing ranged out, automatically searching for current danger in my surroundings before I opened my eyes. There was nothing. I was alone.
Sitting upright, ignoring the dizziness I dragged myself towards the nearest wall and slumped against it. Though my shoulder ached, I raised my fingers to gingerly examine my face and guess the extent of my injuries. I found more blood in my nose, although it wasn’t broken. A painful twinge as I moved my right arm told me that another rib was, though.
Broken.
I knew – with clear, terrifying certainty – that it would not be much longer now before I was completely broken.
As I was contemplating this, the door to my room unlocked: there was a resounding clunk as bolts slid back into their housings. The door opened slowly, disturbing the cool stillness of air in the room as a tall man clad in black entered. The commander had returned and I wondered vaguely whether my end would be sooner rather than later.
The commander was not alone and I remembered his promise to bring Medics to examine me. Not for my injuries of course, but to work out why I was a freak. The man – man! I spat the word again hating these inhuman beings – accompanying the commander hung back, staying closer to the door as he regarded me. Curiosity was the dominant expression on his face. As he waited, watching me, I realised that this man far out-ranked the other who had been managing my torturous world so far.
Their faces moved minutely as I watched them and I could only imagine the unspoken conversation that was taking place. I turned away to stare at the dark corner of the room – hating the sight of them – so it surprised me when I heard the door shut a few seconds later.
Turning involuntarily towards the sound I saw that only this new stranger remained and the guard inside the door, my usual tormentor having left.
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