by Misti Murphy
"Merry Christmas." Leaning on her elbow, she nibbled at my lips.
"We have to get up." I tightened my hold on her. "The troops will start arriving any minute."
Sliding her hand beneath the covers, she wrapped her fingers around my cock. "Can’t we stay in bed, and pretend it's just another day."
"God, babe, there's nothing I want more, but we can't."
Rolling onto her back, she stared at the ceiling. "I have to go to my parents’ house."
"Don't forget to say hello to Hugh and Genevieve for me." Leaning over her, I nipped my way down her throat. "Bring me back some chocolate cake."
Groaning, she rolled away from me, leaving me aching for her touch. "Fucking chocolate cake."
"Did you ever tell them you hated it?" I sat up.
"When I was ten." She tickled my back with her nails. "I want to spend Christmas with you."
She got out of bed to find her clothes, and I wandered my gaze over her naked body. "I like you like this."
"What?"
"Naked." Throwing off the blankets I got up too.
"You certainly prefer me pantyless. I only have a few pair left and you need to take me shopping." She shimmied into her pants.
"What? Did I..." Gaping at her, I imagined ripping them from her.
"You tore through almost every damn pair, quite literally." She came back to me and pulled me down for a kiss. "Not that I minded."
"How soon can you get back?"
"I’m not sure. I’ll be as quick as I can. What about Birdie and your mom? What are you going to tell them?"
"What should I tell them? Birdie knows we’re together. I’m guessing Mom does too." Picking up my jeans, I got into them, careful with the buttons after the effect she'd had on me with the panties comment.
"I’m not sure it’s that simple." She pulled her sweater over her head. "Birdie isn’t happy with me at the moment."
"What do you mean?" I skirted the bed to get a T-shirt. "I mean I know she’s protective of me, but she knows how much you mean to me."
"She blames me for the accident." Clo tied her hair up in a messy ponytail. "Hell I blame me."
"Wait, slow down." I took her hands. "It wasn’t your fault. You know that."
"I know." Deflated, she cast her gaze to the floor. "But maybe, you wouldn’t have been on that road if—"
"If what?"
She sat on the bed, and I crouched in front of her. "If what?"
"I broke up with you. I was an idiot, which shouldn’t come as a surprise, and told you I never wanted to see you again." She had the sexiest pout, but her eyes were glazed and I was worried she would cry. "They found your phone on the floor of the truck. The message I sent you was on your screen when they opened it up. I was the first person they called. If I hadn’t been such an idiot, you wouldn’t have had the accident."
"Babe." My arm around her, I brushed at the tears that slipped from the corners of her eyes. "It wasn’t your fault, and Birdie will come round. We have to give her time."
"I hope so," she whispered, "but it isn’t going to happen this morning. I need to go."
At the door, I planted a long lingering kiss on her mouth before I let her go. Clo drove out of the drive a second before Birdie pulled in, and I raced to help her and Mom carry trays of food into the house.
"Was that Clodagh?" Mom asked as I stooped down to kiss her cheek.
I took the trays into the kitchen for her. "She’s my girlfriend."
"You’re back together?" Birdie dumped grocery bags on the counter. "Haven’t you had enough? Is she worth the trouble?"
"Birdie," Mom warned.
"No. I mean she’s nice, but she’s broken, and you deserve someone who isn’t going to judge you by their own issues."
I crossed my arms and stared at her. Hearing her talk about Clo like that got my back up. "What do you know? You’ve never had a boyfriend. Clo has baggage, but so does everyone. It doesn’t matter to me and that should be all that matters to you."
"I know your memory isn’t all there yet," she snapped, "but do you remember she dumped your ass because you told her Zack cheated on her in high school? I mean how could she compare you to him?"
"She told me this morning, and it doesn’t matter to me. I don’t remember everything, but I remember enough. As long as it doesn’t matter to her, it doesn’t matter to me. She’s coming over as soon as she can, so if you’re going to stay, you better plan on being nice to her."
She glared at me before she spun on her heel and stalked out of the room.
Mom watched her go before she turned to me. "Don’t be too hard on your sister. She worries about you."
"I know," I grumbled and sifted through the bags of groceries. "Mellie and Mike will be here shortly. We better get the turkey in the oven before they get here."
Mom rinsed her hands under the tap. "I’ll start on the pies while you stuff the turkey."
"What do you want me to do?" Birdie stood in the doorway and rolled up her sleeves. I pulled her in for a hug.
"I don’t want to fight with you, Orion. If you’re happy then I’m happy. I promise I’ll be nice to her."
"Thanks." I started on the stuffing. I couldn’t wait to have Clo back in my arms. This would be our first Christmas together, and I was looking forward to it.
Birdie and Mom were finishing up in the kitchen when Mike and Mellie arrived. The smell of turkey wafted through the house.
"Merry Christmas." Mellie swooped in for a hug. "You're looking happy today."
Her face was pinched, and there had been steel in her hug. Something was off with her.
Mike clapped me on the back and handed over a bottle of scotch; expensive, top shelf, and smooth as fire. "Is it too early to open this up?"
It had to be the right time somewhere, and it was Christmas Day. I left them to get glasses. Pouring generous amounts of the amber liquid into glasses, I took them into the living room. Mellie sat on the couch while Mike had kicked his legs up over the side of the recliner.
I glanced from one to the other. "What's going on?"
The two of them looked at each other, making it clear they knew I was asking more than how they'd spent their morning.
"Nothing," Mike grunted and switched on the TV in order to avoid further questioning. I left it alone. I’d patented that move.
Clo bustled in with an armful of gifts wrapped in red and green. I kissed her forehead and relieved her of them. "Glad you're back."
I laid the gifts under the tree and turned around to hug her but Mellie grabbed her hand. "We're going to talk."
The two girls left the room and I took a seat on the vacant couch. Mellie had always been Clo's biggest advocate, but I also knew she could come off as a mob boss when she wanted to. I fidgeted as I waited for them to reappear.
When the girls came out, I jumped out of my seat and gathered Clo up before pulling her onto my lap. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine."
"Are you going to tell me about it?"
She squeezed my hand, and Mike went into the kitchen to see what the others were doing. "She wanted to make me aware that if I hurt you again, she’d be happy to break my legs."
"I'm sure she wouldn't."
"I don't know." She snorted. "Mellie can be scary. I think she thoroughly enjoyed the idea." She stroked the back of my hand with her thumb. "There was something else she said, that made me think..."
Oh God, what now? What the hell had Mellie said to her?
"... I'm sorry, Orion. I was so scared I'd get hurt, that I never realized how much I was hurting you. I don't know how you could trust me, or want to be with someone as crazy as me."
Pulling her against my chest, I rested my chin on her head. "It’s going to take time for things to be normal, but I know you’re not crazy. Zack screwed you over and left you damaged. I knew what I was getting into."
"Grubs up," Birdie said from the doorway before pivoting and heading into the dining room.
"I guess we
better go in." Standing up, I pulled Clo with me. "Don't think about what we did wrong in the past. Let's focus on our future."
Lunch was a loud and boisterous affair, despite Mike and Mellie not saying a word to each other and Birdie answering everyone in monosyllables. I squeezed Clo's thigh underneath the table, and she gave me the look. The one where there was no one else in the room, and I really wished there wasn't. There were far too many hours between lunch and when everyone would leave. Perhaps after lunch and presents were exchanged we could claim we needed a nap, and I could whisk her away to my room for a while.
After we’d gorged on lunch, Birdie got up to clear away the dishes and Clo jumped up to help.
I captured her hand, worried what Birdie might say to her if given the chance. "Perhaps you should leave it."
"I need to. I owe an apology to a few more people." She glanced in Birdie’s direction and picked up a stack of plates before hurrying into the kitchen, while the others went into the living room.
I divided my attention between both rooms, wanting to know what Birdie would say to Clo when they were alone, but not wanting to get in the way if they were getting along.
"It's hard to believe there are good men out there when you've only known assholes," Clo said as she dried a plate and set it on the counter.
The two girls were so focused on their conversation they didn't realize I stood in the doorway. I was about to clear my throat, so they would know I was there when Birdie plucked another plate from the sink and placed it in the rack. "I know what you mean."
There was something in the way she said it that told me she was speaking from experience. "I haven't been able to trust anyone other than Orion since Dad died."
I stood motionless in the doorway. My gut clenched at her words.
"They're not all the same Birdie, even if sometimes it feels like it," Clo said as Birdie sank closer to the bench.
"I guess I know that, but I can't see past..."
Birdie clammed up and hunched over the sink. Clo put a hand on her arm. "What happened?"
I wanted to shake Birdie until she talked. Instead, I slunk out of the room and continued to listen from outside the door. Later, I'd have to find out what Clo had said to get Birdie to open up, and make sure I thanked her properly.
"It was after Dad died. I went to this party. Orion didn't know. He never would have let me go."
Clenching and unclenching my fists, I listened to them. Even before she got the whole story out I knew in my gut where it was going. Heat flooded my brain and it took everything I had not to barge in before she was done.
"I got drunk. I don't know how I ended up in a bedroom. Maybe I wanted to. I don't know, but afterward it all seemed wrong. I can’t trust myself to trust anyone else."
Forgetting they didn’t realize I was there, I barreled into the room. "What the fuck, Birdie? Why didn't you tell me?"
Birdie flinched away from me. Clo gaped and moved toward me with her palms up, as if she was approaching a dangerous animal. She was. Someone had fucked with my little sister, and I was going to murder the son-of-a-bitch. "What was his name, Birdie?"
She shook her head, and her eyes glazed over. "No."
"Tell me his fucking name."
Clo planted her weight into my chest. "You have to calm down, Orion."
"This is why I didn't tell you." Birdie’s knuckles turned white from her grip on the counter. "I knew this was how you would react."
"I think it's a fucking appropriate reaction when some asshole has taken advantage of your little sister," I bellowed.
"Orion, you need to stop. This isn't helping." Clo tried to guide me back toward the door, but I was furious. She might as well have been a blast of air, for all the notice I took.
"What's going on in here?" Mike asked. Mellie and Mom stood behind him.
"Birdie, you're going to tell me who the fuck it was." I pushed on, unable to see past the need to punish whoever it was.
Birdie paled. "Don't you understand? I'm not going to tell you. I'm as much to blame in this as anyone."
I smashed my fist into the wall. Plaster disappeared beneath it, and my hand went numb.
"Mike, help me get him out of here." Clo grabbed my arm and tugged at me until Mike hauled me out the door and into the yard.
The cold slammed into me and broke through the red haze that filled my head. My fists were still clenched, and plaster dust coated my right hand. I shook as the adrenaline melted from my system and the cold seeped into my bones. Mike still had a grip on my bicep. "You okay?"
He kept hold of my arm until I sunk down on the step. I stretched out my hand. The numbness wore off and my knuckles were bruised, but I hadn’t broken anything. "Where the hell was I? She needed me to stick up for her and I wasn't there. What the hell was I doing?"
"Shit happens. You know that as well as anyone." Mike crouched in front of me. "Nothing you could do, or can do for that matter. At least, she got it off her chest."
"Yeah." I dragged my hands over my face. Except, you’ve made talking about it the second worst decision of her life, you idiot.
"Are you going to be okay?"
"I'm going to sit out here for a few more minutes."
Mike squeezed my shoulder, as he scooted past into the house. "If you ever do find out who it was, call me. I’ll be your alibi."
I cracked a smile. "You’ll be my first call."
I’d known for a long time something had happened to Birdie, and yet I hadn’t pushed her to talk. Why the hell hadn't I gotten to the bottom of it? I’d failed to protect her. That’s all I’d wanted to do. To take care of the women in my life, but it hadn’t mattered anyway. If I found out who it was I’d kill them. Or at least, they would wish they were dead.
"Are you coming in?" Clo asked from the door.
I stood up, and met her at the door. "Is she okay?"
"She’ll be fine. She’s more worried about you," Clo said as I leaned against her and she embraced me.
"I suppose I better go talk to her then."
"No." She took my hand and led me to the kitchen. "You need to ice that hand first, Mister."
I let her lead me to the kitchen. The ice wasn’t necessary, but I would always be willing to let her take care of me.
Chapter Thirty-Five
"Birdie and Clo became friends. I think both girls needed each other, as much as I needed them. My memories kept returning. I’d get angry and frustrated, especially when I remembered what happened before the car accident. We worked through it. Neither of us was running away."
February 2012
I checked my wallet one last time. The key was still where I’d put it a year and a half ago, along with a condom with an expiration date that predated the dinosaurs. It had been forty-five days since Christmas Eve, and though I was sure there were memories I would never get back, it didn’t bother me anymore. I still had the dreams, but now when I woke up in a panic, Clo would be beside me.
When I asked her to stay with me almost every night, she had no objections, which was why I’d decided to ask her to move in with me. I stuffed my wallet in my pocket as I made my way out to my new truck. Unable to wipe the grin off my face, I maneuvered the truck out of the driveway and set off to make arrangements for what would be my first attempt at Valentine’s Day.
I’d made a reservation at Mama Cita’s, so all I needed now was to buy roses. It had come to me, while I had been standing in the shower this morning, that it was time to teach her a new lesson. With the way things had been before the accident and before I’d told her the truth about Zack, I didn’t think it would take much to convince her the sting wasn’t in the flowers but in the man who gave them. I was the right man. We both knew it, and it didn’t matter she’d been conditioned to believe she didn’t deserve the best. She would always be the most important thing in my life, and I was still going to get her the goddamn flowers.
Okay, maybe it was more than that. As much as I loved that she'd given in to being us,
there were moments I missed how defiant she'd been at the start. Those moments where she'd held her ground until I'd teased her capitulation from her body had been fucking hot. It was only a game. One I'd enjoyed. But the truth was, she could have walked all over me any damn time she wanted, and I would have let her. Still, the idea of making her give in to me again had me heading for the florist. Besides, roses would be the least of two offerings she might not react well too, and having her move in with me was a point I wasn't willing to negotiate on.
Inside the store, the floral fragrance of roses, carnations, and flowers I didn’t know the names of filled the air. Buckets of flowers lined every surface, fighting to be seen in a tropical jungle of price tags. Roses in their dozens were wrapped together with wire and sat in buckets of water against the counter.
"Can I help you?" the lady behind the counter asked as she used garden shears to cut stems on the diagonal. Her red plastic smock kept the water that dripped from the flowers off her clothes. She smiled at me. I was just another sucker, and I wondered who made the most profit off Valentine’s Day. The growers or the florists?
I studied the roses for a minute and rubbed my fingers over the velvety petals. If I was going to do this I was going to do it big. "I’ll take three dozen, and can I get them delivered?"
Putting the flowers she'd been working with in water, she started organizing my order. "I'll be doing a delivery run in an hour."
"Good." I pulled cash from my wallet.
"Do you need a note?" She handed me a small rectangle of plain white cardboard with the name of the shop embossed on one side.
Grinning, I scrawled a message across the card and fished the key from my wallet before tearing a strip of tape from the dispenser on the counter and sticking the key to the card.
She took it from me and fixed it to the tissue paper on one of the bouquets. "Challenge?" she asked, one eyebrow raised. "Is that her name?"
"No." I sniggered as I wrote down Clo’s name and address for her. "That’s what will happen if she chooses not to accept them."
