by Lili Zander
My cheeks heat and a wave of humiliation washes over me. Once again, I’ve allowed myself to be sucked into their hot-cold games.
I don’t run; I don’t cry. I won’t give them the satisfaction. I spin on my heels and march out, my head held high.
Thank heavens there’s a bottle of kunnr wine in my rooms. I’m going to need it.
4
Rorix
When we saw Sofia, Ferix and I lost control, and our dragons took over. The beasts are possessive, primal, raw, and savage. Sofia had seen the animal inside me, and she had been afraid.
My own mate had flinched away from me. I am crippled by shame and self-loathing.
“Such a thing must never be allowed to happen again,” Ferix says harshly, echoing my thoughts. “The sooner the two of us leave camp, the better. By lingering, we threaten everyone’s safety and security.”
“You’re right.” I don’t want to leave, but what just happened made it crystal clear that we must. “Tomorrow morning?”
Leaving is an imperfect solution. My dragon hungers for Sofia, and there’s no guarantee that it won’t return to claim her. But we have to act; we have to do something. We must put as much distance between us and our mate, and then, we must trust that the other Draekons will protect Sofia from us.
Ferix nods tightly. “I’ve been looking at the maps in the ThoughtVault,” he says. “If we go west, we’ll enter the Lowlands. We won’t be able to travel very fast in the jungle. We can’t go east, because the Zoraken seem to be landing in the grasslands.”
“North or South then? Do you have a preference?”
“Not really,” he replies, his voice flat. It’s sinking in that our lives will change at dawn. We’re about to leave everyone we hold dear and set off on a journey whose end is uncertain. No longer will we enjoy the companionship of the others. No longer will we eat our meals together in the dining hall, nor tease Sofia about her cooking.
From tomorrow, it’s just the two of us. We have nothing to look forward to. The fever awaits us, and then the madness, and the obliteration of self.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself, Rorix und Marox ab Kei. You will do your duty with grace.
I take a deep breath and will calmness into my mind. “North.”
“Very well,” Ferix agrees. “We can skirt the eastern edge of the Dsar Cliff, cross the Northern Desolation, and aim for the range of mountains at the edge of the continent.”
None of us have ever journeyed that far. It’s a long trip, impossible to make on foot. We’re both ignoring the odds of failure. We’re acting as if we have a future when we both know that we don’t.
The doorbell chimes again, and I frown in annoyance. I just want to be left alone, for Caeron’s sake. “Enter,” I snarl, wondering who it is that disturbs my peace.
It’s Sofia.
“Yes,” she says, before I can say anything. “I know you told me to leave, but you’re burning up.” She doesn’t look at either of us as she marches into the room. “I swore an oath,” she continues tightly. “I have a duty to provide care, and I’m certainly not going to let the two of you keep me from it.” She’s holding her black medical case in her hands, her knuckles gripping the handle tightly. “I could argue that my oath doesn’t include tending to broody, annoying, arrogant, stupid, aliens who can’t decide whether they’re attracted to me or not, but we all know that’s just splitting hairs.”
She lifts her chin up and glares at me. “So I don’t care whether you told me to leave or not,” she snaps. “Both of you are feverish, and I cannot walk away from that. Lie back.”
I look at her, amusement mingled with exasperation. She’s like a little storm cloud, angry and thunderous, and she is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my life. Irritation comes off her in waves, and I ache to take her into my arms and kiss her stubborn mouth and her pursed lips, kiss her until she melts into me. She’s wearing her glasses—for some strange reason, the humans don’t seem to correct their vision, choosing instead to wear these odd, removable objects around their faces—and she looks so sexy that it takes all my control to keep my hands off her.
Thankfully, for the moment, my dragon seems dormant. I have some self-control, but the beast has none.
She came back. She came back because she was concerned about us.
Then her words penetrate the fog of lust. “What do you mean, we can’t decide if we’re attracted to you or not?” I demand. “Is it not obvious?”
“Lie back,” she repeats, refusing to meet my gaze. I do as she asks, and she places a palm on my forehead. “You’re so hot,” she says, her forehead furrowed. “This isn’t normal. Ferix, you too?” She touches him, and her frown deepens. “It’s Kaida’s bedtime, and she’s such a light sleeper. If I knock on Vulrux’s door, she’ll wake up, and Harper will kill me.” She’s mostly talking to herself. “I have no idea how to bring down a Draekon fever.”
Her worry tugs at my heartstrings. “Don’t worry about us, Sofia,” I tell her gently, lying to ease her anxiety. “We’re Draekon. Not much can harm us.”
She seems to be debating her course of action. After a split-second of hesitation, she nods her head. “Take off your clothes, both of you. I’m going to sponge you down. That can’t hurt anything.”
My cock hardens instantly. Ferix lifts his head up and stares at her, raw hunger in his eyes. But his dragon, like mine, is still thankfully quiescent. “You want us to get naked for you, Sofia?”
She grits her teeth. “I don’t want you to get naked for me,” she says sharply. “I want you to get naked so I can get you into the bath to lower your damn temperature.” She moves into the bathroom and turns on the taps. “Stupid, infuriating men,” she mutters in an undertone. “Hot one moment, cold the next.”
I don’t think she realizes that we can hear her perfectly well. But the fever must be affecting my ability to think clearly, because I don’t understand what she’s saying. Does she not think we want her? Did she not feel the hardness of my cock when we kissed? Did she not feel the need that burns through my body, the flame that dances over my skin? I am going mad with want, crazy with desire.
I take off my clothes and follow her into the bathroom, Ferix at my heels. “I do not understand,” I say slowly. “What do you mean, hot one moment, cold the next?”
She doesn’t answer right away. Finally, she sighs heavily. “It’s just an expression. Sometimes you act as if you like me, and other times, you act as if you can’t stand the sight of me.” The undertone of pain in her voice nearly breaks me. “I don’t understand. I spent my time buried in books; I never really learned to flirt. I don’t know how to play these games.”
Caeron preserve us, she doesn’t understand why we’re staying away. Then again, why would she? She’s human.
“Sofia.” Ferix puts a finger on her chin and lifts her head up. “Of course we’re attracted to you. Is it not obvious we like you?”
She swallows. “So what’s the deal?” she whispers. “Is there someone else back on your planet? Someone you were torn from? Your mate?”
You’re our mate, diya. Our bodies are burning up with need for you.
I can’t tell her that. Can’t tell her the real reason we’ve stayed away. Not now. Even if by some miracle, she does not hold what Beirax did against us, it’s too late for the mating bond. My dragon is too savage, and when it bursts free, nothing can control it.
But I can’t let her think there’s someone else. I can’t lie to her about that. It feels wrong. “No, Sofia. I have no bondmate back on the homeworld. It’s nothing like that. Things are just… complicated.”
She’s clearly not satisfied with our explanation. “Complicated,” she huffs under her breath. “Sure. It’s just my luck, you know. My abuela kept telling me guys only wanted one thing from me.” She rolls her eyes. “So much for her theory. I’m stuck on an alien planet, there are only two unattached women in sight, and I still can’t give it away.”
She’s nervous,
and she’s flustered, and she’s babbling, but once again, my brain isn’t working, because I have no idea what she’s talking about. From the befuddled expression on Ferix’s face, neither does he. “Can’t give what away?”
She doesn’t look at me. The bathtub is almost full. Sofia’s trying to hide it, but she’s nervous, our sweet little human. Her hands tremble as she turns off the taps. “Get in,” she orders, masking her nerves with a show of defiance. “Both of you. You need to get your temperature down, and the water’s the fastest way to do it.”
I ignore the bath. “Can’t give what away?” I repeat stubbornly. She’s unhappy, and it’s because of us. I hate the thought of causing her pain, and I have to understand. There’s something going on here, something under the surface. My head hurts, and my vision is blurry, and I can’t seem to concentrate, but I know it’s important.
“My virginity, damn it,” she yells. “There. Satisfied? I’m a thirty-year-old virgin, okay?” She exhales and wraps her arms around herself. “It’s not like I haven’t had other offers, because I have. Not in a creepy way, either. It’s not as if other Draekons haven’t made it clear that if I were tired of sleeping alone, that I’d be more than welcome to share their beds. But no, I had to have a crush on the two guys on the planet who don’t seem to want me.”
My dragon awakens and snarls with rage. Flames lick my skin, and my eyes narrow to slits. She’s had other offers? Other Draekon have coveted my mate? I will tear out their eyes and burn them to a crisp for daring to go near Sofia. She is mine. My mate.
The fire diverts her attention. “You’re doing it again,” she yelps. “Shit, shit, shit, this can’t be good. Has this happened before? Do you know why? Quick, get into the tub. Damn it, I better wake Vulrux.”
Words pour out of her mouth. Her eyes are wide and alarmed, and she pushes us toward the tub, wordlessly urging us to hurry. With effort, I wrench control from the dragon. “Don’t bother the Thirdborn,” I say, trying to sound reassuring and calm. “The flames are nothing, just a side-effect of being Draekon.”
She doesn’t look convinced. “We’ll get into the tub,” I add persuasively. My brain is processing the rest of her words. “You’re a virgin?” Are the men of Earth blind? Stupid? How is it possible that someone as beautiful and lush as Sofia is untouched? I don’t understand the humans, not one bit. “And you like us?”
Caeron help me, I want her. Would it be terrible of me to give in to the need, just for one night? To plunge into her softness, to hear her cry out our names as she falls apart?
Just one night. “Will you join us in the tub, Sofia?” I whisper, staring into her eyes. I don’t know who’s speaking, the dragon or the man.
Ferix rumbles with pleasure. “Yes,” he growls. “Take off your clothes for us, diya.”
“Seriously?” She turns to glare at us, her hand on her hip. “Are you not listening to me, either of you? I don’t know what you’re trying to get at, but I’m not good at games. You can’t tell me that things are complicated, and then proposition me in the next sentence.”
Her voice quivers and Ferix shakes his head as he fights his lust-filled dragon. I put my arms around her waist and kiss her forehead. I breathe her in, etching the scent of Sofia in my memory. “You have no idea how much I wish things could be different, mi vida.”
Her eyes go wide. “That phrase,” she whispers. “It’s Spanish. Where did you learn that?”
“Your human friend, Harper Boyd, taught us.”
She stares at us for the longest time, not saying a word. Then her shoulders slump. “I’m going to leave,” she says, her voice tired. “Make sure to soak in the tub for at least ten minutes. You need to get your body temperature down. I’ll check on you in the morning.”
5
Sofia
Dios mio, I was tempted to stay. So tempted. But it’s not just my grandmother’s voice in my head telling me that this is a bad idea. It’s mine as well.
Not because of my virginity.
Look, I’m a doctor. There’s nothing special or magical about a hymen. One quick thrust, and poof. It’s gone. It’s not bulletproof or anything.
Plus, from my conversations with the Draekons, I’ve learned that their culture doesn’t have the same hang-ups about sex and purity that we do. I don’t even think it struck Rorix and Ferix how strange it is that I’m a thirty-year-old virgin.
It’s actually much simpler than that.
It’s just not smart for me to get involved with two guys who are so obviously conflicted about wanting to be with me. Maybe I’m just being a high-maintenance princess, but I want to be wanted. Craved and needed. I want raw intensity, and I want raging passion.
I don’t want two guys who kiss me one minute and push me away the second. That’s just crazy-making.
I march along the corridor, lost in thought, and almost run into Olivia. “Whoa,” she says, grabbing my arm before I lose my balance. “You look cranky. It’s a good thing we have beer. Ready for a pint?”
“What?”
“It’s Not-Really-Tuesday,” she reminds me. “Bryce has a new batch of beer that she wants to test on us, and Ryanna said she made fruitcake. The beer could go either way, but Ryanna’s generally a pretty fantastic cook.” She takes a look at my bag. “Someone sick?”
My cheeks warm again as I think about Rorix and Ferix. “It’s probably nothing,” I murmur, unwilling to discuss the two Draekons. I contemplate skipping Not-Really-Tuesday and then change my mind. If I go to my apartment, I’m just going to brood. Might as well be social. Maybe listening to the other women will get my mind off the two infuriatingly attractive, maddeningly hot men.
Viola’s in a contemplative mood. “Do you ladies realize we’ve been here for six months?”
“We have?” Paige sounds surprised. “I guess you’re right. If it’s not six months, it’s pretty close to it.” She looks contemplative. “Had our ship not crashed here, we’d have been getting ready to go back home.”
Home. I haven’t thought about Earth for so long. We’d left in June, which means it’s December now. It’s Christmas-time. My throat tightens as I remember the posadas of my youth, of buñuelos and tamales, piñatas and steaming cups of cocoa.
I’m not the only one thinking of the holidays. “We should do something,” May says. “We haven’t had a party since Harper’s baby shower. Let’s do a holiday party.”
“Is that why you made fruitcake?” I ask Ryanna, who’s sitting next to me. “Because of Christmas?”
“No, I was just messing around in the kitchen,” she replies. “One of my coworkers back home was Jamaican, and she’d make a fruitcake every year. I’ve been craving it.”
I give her a sidelong look. “You’re not pregnant, are you?”
She laughs. “Not that I know. Zorux, Thrax, and I talked about it. We’re going to wait.” She grimaces. “Things seem so uncertain right now.”
I totally understand. At any moment, the Zorahn armies might find a way to land on the prison planet, and then, who knows what could happen? They’re searching for Raiht’vi, and they’re not giving up, and the rest of us are stuck in the line of fire.
“What would you have done?” Ryanna asks me. “Back on Earth, I mean. Once you returned from space, what did you have planned?”
It’s so weird talking about this. “I was going to work in the ER,” I tell her. “I did a stint in Emergency during my residency, and I really liked it.”
“You did?” She raises an eyebrow. “You seem so calm all the time. I wouldn’t have thought the chaos of the ER would be your scene.”
I don’t feel calm. I feel like I’m in the middle of a raging storm of sexual frustration. My mind keeps returning to the way Ferix kissed me earlier this evening, to the way Rorix’s hands had closed over my breasts, hot and hard and possessive. I surreptitiously rub my legs together and try to think of anything other than sex.
For thirty years, I’ve managed to do just fine. Never been seriously tempt
ed. Then I landed on the prison planet and met Rorix and Ferix. Constant, sinful, temptation.
“I like the variety of work,” I tell Ryanna. My abuela died in the ER, waiting to see a doctor. “I like working on the front lines. It makes me feel like I’m making a difference.”
“Were you seeing someone on Earth?”
I laugh. “Are you kidding? Residents don’t have time to eat and sleep. Dating was totally out of the question. My grandmother was more interested in my love life than I was. She’d even decided how many kids I should have.”
Felicity overhears that last bit. “How many?”
“Three.” I take a sip of the kunnr wine in my glass and feel its warmth all the way down my throat, “One boy, two girls. She even had names. Catalina and Julieta for the girls, Alejandro for the boy.” I smile in remembrance. “She had my life planned right down to the last detail.”
Ryanna squeezes my hand in a wordless gesture of comfort. “Would you go back, Sofia?” she asks, her voice soft. “Back to Earth?”
Would I? There are days when it’s so tempting. Days like today, when I’m still smarting with the sting of Ferix and Rorix’s rejection. When I see the other women, happily in relationships with their Draekon mates, and I wonder if that’s ever going to happen for me. Not the mating bond; I know I don’t have that. Nobody turned into a dragon when they saw me. But the closeness, the companionship, the love…
On Earth, I might have a shot at a rewarding career, a family, and happiness. Here, on the prison planet, those things look out of reach.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself, Sofia Ana Menendez.
“What difference does it make?” I shrug and take another sip of my wine. “It’s not like there’s a way to go back.”
Felicity gives me a serious look. “There might be,” she says. “I’ve been talking to Dariux about it. The High Emperor put us under his personal protection. If the Zoraken capture us, they’ll take us back.”
