by Joey Bush
“Hey! We were wondering when you two lovebirds would get back,” one of the brothers said as Jaxon and I walked into the frat house. My face burned up with a blush.
“Lovebirds?” Jaxon snorted. Alex, coming through the living room with a beer, laughed out loud.
“Dude, everyone knows.”
“Everyone knows what?” My voice went squeaky with embarrassment—I hated it. I swallowed against the tight feeling in my throat. One of the other brothers laughed.
“Everyone knows you guys hooked up last night.” Jaxon and I stared at everyone around us in shock for a long moment. So much for our idea of keeping it cool, keeping it secret from everyone.
Then Jaxon started to laugh. “Yeah, I should’ve known someone would have seen.” The fact that everyone was so relaxed about it made me feel a little weirded out at first; I mean, I was friends with most of the guys in the frat—wouldn’t they treat me differently for seeing Jaxon? But someone put a beer in my hand and asked for my predictions about the game that night, and it was oddly just as it had always been.
The guys talked about it, but not in the way that they normally chattered about the girls they hooked up with; someone complimented Jaxon on nabbing the one girl who “got it” and Peter collected money from everyone else who had apparently been involved in a betting pool on the subject of when Jaxon and I would finally get together. It was like everyone had seen it coming but Jaxon and me; I wasn’t entirely sure how much I liked it—but the guys knew us both so well.
While we sat around and hung out with the rest of the boys, I realized that it was kind of obvious to anyone who had been paying even the least bit of attention to Jaxon and me—the way that Jaxon had started treating me differently months before, the way we avoided each other and then started spending time together again, thick as thieves, acting like friends. I could almost laugh at how oblivious I had been the whole time; after all, I’d only just commented to Jaxon that morning that it seemed like the harder we tried to stay apart the more we ended up throwing ourselves at each other.
The weirdest part of the situation was that everyone seemed to be really okay with it. I wasn’t sure how much the other guys knew—after all, I hadn’t said anything about Jaxon’s dad and my mom to anyone, but Jaxon probably had told at least one of his friends in the frat about the situation. I couldn’t really imagine him keeping it completely a secret, even if I had more or less managed to. So it must have been common knowledge that we were related by marriage; but no one treated it as weird, no one told us we were freaks. Everyone just assumed that we would get together, and now they were all relieved that it had finally happened.
Jaxon waylaid me as I went to the bathroom, pressing me against the wall in the deserted hallway and kissing me. “It’s kind of weird how okay they are with this, right?” he asked me. I nodded.
“Yeah, it’s pretty strange. But I guess we just go with it? I mean—no one’s calling us sick freaks for banging each other.” Jaxon laughed.
“I don’t know how many of them know about Dad and your mom. But as long as no one thinks it’s disgusting, why not ride the wave?” I shrugged.
“I was kind of excited about the idea of having a secret relationship. Climbing the tree outside in the middle of the night to sneak into your room. Ending up in the wrong room. Explaining why I’m sneaking around to Jeremy or Johnny.” Jaxon laughed out loud.
“We can still do that, just, you know, everyone will know you’re lying.”
“I guess we should just be happy that we can be ‘out’ or whatever.” Jaxon nodded.
“Never really a good idea to try and keep a secret like that in a frat. It always falls to pieces.” Jaxon kissed me again. “Besides, this way I can kiss you in front of everyone and show off how hot my girlfriend is.”
We went back out into the living room where the makeshift party was still going on. One of the guys asked a crude question about my oral skills and I retorted that it wasn’t for no reason that I had picked up French so well in high school. It was weirdly fun, and even more weirdly comfortable, to be around people who knew that Jaxon and I were into each other without making a big deal about it. Jaxon held my hand, or touched me, or kissed me—nothing too aggressive, but enough to give me a tingle and to make me hopeful for even more later.
It was so exciting—even more exciting in some ways than our secret relationship might have been if we had been forced to keep it that way. To know that everyone approved, that I didn’t have to torture myself anymore, was such a great feeling that I thought I might explode from happiness.
The night wore on and I got more and more used to the attitude of acceptance that surrounded us. I went into the kitchen to get myself another beer, and Jeremy pulled me aside. “Hey, Mia, I just wanted to say I’m really happy for you.” I blushed a little bit—I remembered Jeremy telling me weeks before that he didn’t know what was going on between Jaxon and me, but that he wanted me to hang out with the guys anyway.
“You are?” Jeremy nodded, grinning. He shrugged.
“I mean, don’t take it like I care or anything, but I couldn’t help noticing how miserable you’ve been.” I rolled my eyes.
“I haven’t been miserable.” Jeremy pinned me down with a level stare.
“You were miserable. You were avoiding all of us at one point, remember?” I laughed.
“Oh, right, that.”
“Well, you and Jaxon were both obviously miserable without each other. Whatever else is going on, and whatever kind of craziness you’ve got in your lives, it’s obvious you’re really into one another—so when word got around that you guys had hooked up and were hanging out together, we were all pretty relieved.”
“I didn’t know you guys really cared about it all that much.” Jeremy shrugged, looking embarrassed.
“Yeah, well, don’t let anyone else hear about it. Frat secret. But we care about each other, you know—and you’re pretty much one of us, so we were all worried about the sitch. It’s been a long time coming.” I smiled and gave him a playful shove to get away from me. Jeremy laughed and grabbed his beer, heading back into the living room, clearly still more than a little embarrassed at how much he had shared.
Of all of the things anyone had said to me that night about Jaxon and me, it felt good to know that my closest friends in the frat were actually happy about it. I probably should have known that it would be only too obvious to everyone we both knew that Jaxon and I were into each other; but the fact that everyone was so excited for us, that everyone was actually happy to see us pairing off, was so great. We had taken such an emotional beating for being together from our parents—it was just such a relief to be around people who either didn’t care or who thought it was great. I couldn’t have been happier in my entire life, no matter what else happened to me.
Chapter Four
I woke up the next morning feeling even better than I had the night before, even though I would have never even thought that was possible. Instead of going back to my dorm at the end of the night, I had ended up in Jaxon’s bed. We’d both been tipsy—not drunk, just a little buzzed—and we’d spent the whole day once we’d gotten out of bed teasing each other, especially at the makeshift party that had gone on in the frat house. The game had been great—it was another one that no one in the frat had any vested interest in, just enough going on in it to make it worth watching. Jaxon had copped feels, waylaid me on the way to the kitchen or to the bathroom or anywhere else I had gone. By the time he had led me up to his bedroom, refusing to even entertain the notion of me going back to my dorm, I had been more than ready to go to bed with him again.
It was so different, to sleep with him with everyone in the know; it was different in a good way. The first time we’d had sex, on the couch in the living room, I’d been eager for it—I’d been so attracted to him that when he made his move I hadn’t even thought about turning him down, even if I had known I should. And the night before, having sex in his room with the brothers away,
I’d still been aware in the back of my mind that someone might come in and find us out.
Being able to have sex with Jaxon more or less openly, without having to hide it from anyone, was even better than the sex we’d had before. I didn’t care whether I was loud; Jaxon played music over his stereo, but if someone heard me moaning or crying out over it, it wasn’t going to ruin my reputation—everyone already knew. And for once I wasn’t worried about what would happen if everyone found out I was banging my step-brother. I hadn’t realized how inhibited that knowledge had made me until I didn’t have to even think about it anymore. I joked to Jaxon that I had to live up to the reputation I had created for myself with my French comment and went down on him, sucking and licking until he was on the edge of orgasm. He had picked me up and thrown me onto the bed, working my pussy with his fingers until I gushed. He’d draped my legs over his shoulders and thrust into me hard and fast over and over again until we were both moaning, touching each other everywhere.
We woke up together and Jaxon murmured in my ear that he was still horny from the night before; he draped my leg backwards over his hip and thrust into me slowly from behind, rubbing my clit with his fingertips. I buried my face against his pillow to muffle my noises more out of consideration for the fact that not all of his brothers were awake, instead of because I was terrified that they’d know. He felt so good inside of me, and while we were moving together I thought over and over again that I could have him almost any time I wanted; that I could just go up to his room or invite him over to mine, that I wouldn’t have to sit around and pretend like I didn’t care about him that way. I wanted to make up for all the time we’d lost in the months we couldn’t be together out of fear.
I hurried over to my dorm, not even worried about the walk of shame, running in just long enough to change my clothes while Jaxon waited outside. We held hands while we walked to the dining hall for a quick breakfast before our classes, and it felt so good to be open about how I felt about him. I hadn’t even let myself think about how much I really did care, how much I was in love with Jaxon. But now that the frat members all knew, Jaxon and I had decided that there was no point in trying to hide it from anyone else on campus, since the guys who had girlfriends would have already told them. We grabbed our respective breakfasts—I made myself a quick smoothie with protein powder and grabbed some granola, Jaxon put together a breakfast sandwich and wrapped it up to eat in class, and I couldn’t stop looking over at him, smiling to myself because neither of us had to pretend anymore.
That morning we fell back into our old routine; Jaxon walked me to class just like he had before things had started getting weird, and I felt so comfortable and happy to just be openly involved with him. He fell into step with me, and it was weird but wonderful to be able to hold his hand, to not have to keep my distance. Even when we’d been pretending to be just friendly—brotherly and sisterly to each other—we’d kept space between us, and it occurred to me now that the whole time we’d been playing that game we’d been only inches away from jumping each other. We went our separate ways at the building where my morning class was and then Jaxon met up with me on my way to the dining hall for lunch. We sat together in the dining hall without even having to pretend like everything was just friendly between us; Jaxon put his arm around me, and we talked with the other guys just like we always had.
The best part of it was that while I could pay attention to Jaxon and enjoy his company, I didn’t find myself constantly distracted. I wasn’t thinking about him every second of the day just because I was trying specifically not to. I wasn’t wondering how he was holding up—I knew he was enjoying himself just as much as I was. It was amazing how much the fact that we didn’t have to hide our feelings towards each other changed everything. I was amazed at how much energy I had been wasting, devoted to trying not to think about him and how much I wanted him.
In the back of my mind, I did think that eventually—at some point—we would have to confront the issue of the fact that our parents were married to each other. Mom and Bob were not in favor of Jaxon and I being anything more than step-siblings, and we wouldn’t be able to keep the situation from them for forever. But I told myself that we would cross that bridge when we came to it. For the time being I was just so happy to be with Jaxon and to not have to try and avoid him and everyone else I knew, that I was more than happy to put aside our parents. After all, we wouldn’t have to see them again until at least Spring Break—that was plenty of time to figure everything out between us and how we were going to handle it.
Jaxon and I had an afternoon class together: one I had dreaded from the moment I discovered he was in it with me. Now, instead of going to the opposite end of the room from him and struggling to pay attention to the lecturer, I could sit next to him, take my notes, and enjoy the fact that he was close instead of letting that same fact torture me. When we were both done with classes for the day, we hung out with each other in the student union and then headed back to the frat house to compete in the weekly Xbox tournament with the other guys before we grabbed dinner together from the dining hall.
It was almost too good to be true, and I had to stop myself from freaking out a few times out of the instinctive fear that it would all go wrong at any moment. But everyone on campus knew that we were together—really together, not just hooked up one night—and everyone who actually cared about us was happy that it had happened. Nobody came up to tell us we were freaks; nobody told us we were disgusting. Everybody said it was about time and that we looked cute together.
We found out that it wasn’t just the guys in the frat who’d started a betting pool about us getting together; over dinner, one of the guys from the snowboarding team came up and confirmed with us that we were actually boyfriend and girlfriend—going back to the table with his friends to crow the success of his betting strategy. There were apparently lots of people making money off of the fact that Jaxon and I had finally just given in and decided to be in a relationship together—and it made me laugh to think that we’d been spending most of the year trying to absolutely avoid each other, fighting to not have anything to do with each other, because of the fact that our parents were together. Obviously, everyone on campus who knew us knew that we were as good of a match as anyone could find—and the fact that no one seemed to have a problem with it just made me that much happier when I went up to Jaxon’s room at the end of the night. It felt good to be able to kiss him, to touch him, to hold his hand or hug him without feeling like I was dirty or gross or shameful. It felt good to be able to be affectionate with him and still be “one of the guys” among the frat members and the other campus athletes. Nobody was treating me like some stupid sorority girl chasing after the hot frat guy; everyone just accepted that we’d ended up together because that was the right thing to do.
Chapter Five
“Hey, we should hit the slopes again before the team meets—get in a little private session.” Jaxon kissed me lightly on the lips, reaching out and giving one of my braids a playful tug. I grinned.
“The mountain’s pretty far to go if you want to hit up after class but before practice,” I pointed out. “We could go to the practice place early, get some time in there.” Jaxon was walking me to my morning class, the day after we “came out” as a couple.
“Sounds good. Wanna take your car or mine?” I rolled my eyes.
“Yours of course. Meet you for lunch?” Jaxon nodded. I grinned and leaned in, and Jaxon kissed me briefly on the lips before we parted ways at the Fleischman building where my class was.
We grabbed something to go as soon as lunch rolled around and brought it to the car with us. I’d gotten a couple of sandwiches and a bag of chips, along with a to-go cup of the dining hall’s passion fruit-guava punch. With the rest of my practice gear in the back of Jaxon’s car, I had a big bottle of water—enough to get me through our private practice session; I’d refill before everyone got there. We put on some old 90s rock and drove out to the practice space.
Since Jaxon was one of the people higher up in the team—not just because he was the best boarder but because he was an upperclassman—he had a key to get us in. We were both excited, joking and talking as we parked in the lot and brought our gear the front entrance. “Just don’t break your ankle when it’s only me here,” Jaxon told me with a smirk.
“Oh trust me, I do not even trust you to get me to a hospital; I’ll save all serious injuries for when trainers are actually here.” Jaxon gave me a playful shove and I grabbed at his arm, pulling him with me as I tumbled against a wall. He kissed me and then broke off a moment later.
“We’re here to practice, space-case,” he told me with a little grin. I put on a mock-stern face and we went into the practice building.
They were revamping it a little bit; it had started during the break when most of the people who practiced there were on winter break, especially since there was real snow and there were real mountains to practice on. But for the purposes of getting a guaranteed good session, the practice slopes were great—there was no need to check the weather and make sure the conditions would be good, since it was indoors. It wasn’t as cold as it was outside, so I didn’t have to wear heavy clothes under my gear.
Jaxon took the first run and I watched him, like always completely and totally impressed with his skill. He tried a new trick—something I had never seen him do—and I was thrilled at the fact that we were close enough that he felt comfortable really and truly practicing around me; not just going through the routines he had already mastered, but trying new things that he wasn’t sure he could pull off. I knew that he practiced on his own a lot—so did I. Any of us who were really serious about competing found ways to practice on our own and brush up a particular trick before we did it in front of anyone.
