by Penny Jordan
‘How very lovely you look,’ he told her as he opened the passenger door of his car for her. Selina had been dubious about wearing the new dress, but in the end had given in to the feminine impulse to do so and was glad she had when Alex drew up in the forecourt of what she guessed had once been a private family home and was now a hotel.
‘At weekends they have dinner dances here, but when I telephoned they were fully booked, hence the invitation for tonight,’ he explained as they walked in. ‘I haven’t dined here before, but I’ve been told it’s very good.’
It was. The restaurant was elegant and yet relaxing; the atmosphere intimate without being overdone. The nouvelle cuisine food they were served was mouth-wateringly delicious and Selina enjoyed every mouthful.
Once he had relaxed a little Alex was a pleasant companion. He talked a little about his life in Australia in general terms and Selina learned that he had worked on one of the huge sheep stations as a manager.
‘I met Melanie while I was on holiday in Sydney. She was working for a PR firm there.’ His eyes darkened with pain and he became quiet. ‘I’m sorry to bore you with all this,’ he said at last. ‘I don’t think I’ve come to terms with it in my own mind yet.’
‘These things take time.’ Selina offered the platitude with a bright smile, knowing that no amount of time could ever lessen the pain of loving Piers.
It had been a pleasant evening, but she was not entirely unhappy when it was over. Alex came with her to the front door after he had stopped the car and hesitated a moment in its porch, their shadows intermingling in the moonlight as they stood close together, his fair head bent over hers.
‘I’ve enjoyed tonight. I have to go away for several weeks, but when I come back,’ he said quietly, ‘could we do it again?’
Sensing his loneliness, Selina nodded her head. ‘I’d like that.’
‘You’re very kind.’ He bent his head and brushed her lips with his; the salutation of a friend; no more than a brief ‘thank you’ for her time and sympathy, but when the door opened behind them and they were caught in a brilliant blaze of lights Selina jumped back as guilty as a teenager caught in her very first passionate kiss.
‘Hello, Alex.’
The familiar timbre of the male voice sent shivers of reaction running down her spine. Piers was back!
In a daze she listened to Alex wishing Piers a ‘good night’, stepping back automatically into the house when Piers held the door open for her.
He closed it behind her and then said sardonically, ‘You don’t waste much time do you? You realise that he’s married?’
‘Divorced actually.’ She was too stunned to do more than defend herself as an automatic reflex action. ‘When did you arrive?’
‘Half an hour ago. I was just on the point of going to bed when I saw the car drive up. Where did he take you?’
‘Just out to dinner.’
‘Sorry I interrupted your romantic good nights.’
He didn’t sound sorry at all, but Selina refrained from responding.
IT was the end of her brief interlude of peace. Piers’ arrival seemed to change everything. When she went in to Sir Gerald in the mornings Piers was invariably there, his cool, watchful eyes following her every movement, warning her that he was just waiting for her to slip, to make that one fateful mistake that he could pounce on. Mealtimes with him present were an ordeal because all the time she was conscious of his presence, of the power of his personality reaching out to threaten her. She loved him and was desperately afraid of betraying that love because she feared if she did he would use it to destroy her. Looking into his cold eyes she found it almost impossible to believe that they had once burned with hot desire for her. Now that desire was gone or held in such strong control that she would never see it again.
‘You seem to have an extraordinary effect on my nephew,’ Sir Gerald commented wryly one afternoon having witnessed a brief exchange of words between them.
‘We don’t get on very well,’ Selina told him, avoiding looking at him.
‘Oh, is that what it is?’ His voice was mild, but something told Selina that he was amused. ‘That’s an achievement in itself,’ he told her when she finally forced herself to look queryingly at him. ‘Piers does not normally concern himself enough with other people to the extent of “not getting on”.’
‘Sometimes it happens that two people are naturally antipathic.’
‘So it does.’
Nothing else was said, but Selina was conscious of Sir Gerald watching them with mild and amused curiosity whenever they were together. She felt as though her control was being stretched to breaking point, her nerves so tense that the slightest thing could overset them.
On the Sunday Helen and her family left. Selina was sorry to see them go. She liked her youngest half-sister, just as she had liked her eldest.
Without them the house was quiet. In the afternoon Piers drove off in his car after lunch, without saying where he was going, leaving Mary and Selina alone in the drawing room. When the former excused herself to go upstairs and sit with her husband, who was still forbidden to come downstairs until dinner time, Selina got up and wandered into the study intending to do some work on one of Sir Gerald’s cases, ready for him to check on Monday morning.
It was while she was there that her eyes were drawn to the family photographs adorning the large mahogany desk. She was studying them silently when Mary appeared and explained that she was just going to take Sir Gerald for a run in the car.
‘He’s itching to get out and capable of taking himself if I don’t give in and take him. We shan’t be long.’ She smiled adding, ‘I hope you don’t mind us deserting you like this.’
Selina shook her head, summoning a smile for her hostess. In point of fact for some reason today she felt decidedly low… What she felt was that she was an outsider looking in on an enviably happy family life, she told herself hardily, and she was an outsider. All at once she became obsessed by a need to know if her father had ever thought about her at all during the years of her growing up…if he had ever treasured any little thing just to show that he acknowledged her existence. Almost before she knew what she was doing, she was giving in to a compulsion so strong that she could not resist it; sliding open the desk drawer where Mary had told her they kept the old family photographs.
The top album was the most recent; containing photographs of the Ruby Wedding. Selina poured the longest over one of Piers, her heart aching for the impossibility of her feelings for him.
Once started it was impossible for her to stop. Ignoring the inner voice that told her what she was doing was wrong she flicked back page after page, going back through the years to the time when the girls had been small. Deeply engrossed in what she was doing she never heard the library door open; never became aware of the grim-faced man towering over her until he wrenched the album out of her fingers, his voice harsh with bitterness as he exclaimed.
‘Just what the hell do you think you’re doing, or has my aunt given you her permission to go through her private things?’
Piers! Guilty colour flared up under her skin.
‘What was in your grubby little mind I wonder to motivate you to invade someone’s privacy and violate their trust in the way you were doing? What were you hoping to find?’
‘You don’t understand.’ Scrambling to her feet Selina faced him bravely.
‘On the contrary I understand all too well,’ he told her thickly, ‘but before I throw you out into the gutter where you belong I intend to find out exactly what you thought you were doing. Come with me.’
Grasping her wrist, he tugged her towards the door. Selina tried to stop him, panic flooding through her body. ‘Stop it, you’re hurting me,’ she complained.
He turned on her, his lips curled back in a feral smile, his eyes glittering with an emotion she could only assume was hatred.
‘Not half as much as I’d like to,’ he told her grimly. ‘Now come with me.’
She di
dn’t want to; she wanted to resist the force of his contemptuous anger and withstand it, but his strength was the greater, his threat to pick her up and carry her forcing her to accede to his demand.
When he eventually stopped outside the room she knew to be his she panicked, fighting against him with all her strength, gasping with pain as he shouldered open the door and pulled her inside with little regard for the bruises he was inflicting on her tender skin.
Once inside he slammed the door shut with his foot, refusing to let her go. ‘Now then…’ He was breathing heavily, his chest rising and falling unevenly beneath his jacket and shirt. ‘Let’s just see if we can’t find out what all this is about shall we?’
His attitude of open contempt was so infuriating that Selina reacted instinctively, throwing her head back defiantly and bracing herself against his grip, fighting to break free.
‘I have nothing to say to you,’ she hissed at him, ‘and nothing you do to me will make me speak.’
‘Is that a fact?’
A brilliant fever of anger seemed to burn in his eyes. ‘Still sure you’ve nothing to tell me?’
Fighting to hold the bitterness of his scrutiny Selina shook her head, gasping out loud as his fingers tightened briefly into her skin before he released one hand to tangle his fingers in her hair, pulling her head back with almost painful ferocity, so that the slim line of her throat was arched back, her face tense with distrust and fear. As he bent his head slowly towards her she could feel that tension spreading right through her body. She badly wanted to pull away; to close her eyes to blot out the dangerous bitterness of his, but movement was impossible. She seemed to be held fast; mesmerised almost by the powerful emotions emanating from him. He stopped a whisper away from her lips.
‘Tell me the truth.’
Selina swallowed hard, the muscles in her throat contracting painfully. She shook her head, her moaned protest silenced by the heat and pressure of his mouth possessing hers. Piercing darts of panic lanced through her, her body tensing against the male pressure of his as Piers released his hold on her arm, instead sliding his hand over the bunched muscles of her back, and down to her waist where it clamped her against the hard outline of his own body.
His mouth on hers was hot and fierce, not coldly contemptuous as she had anticipated. She could feel her senses responding to him, her eyes wide open as she stared into his and watched as anger gave way to passion, her own nerve endings responding to the need she could see reflected in his rapidly darkening irises.
The initial reason for him bringing her here to his room was forgotten as her heart took up a slow, drum-beat thud, the blood coursing hotly through her veins as she became aware of the tension in his body, her own registering the reason for it; the need she could see burning fiercely in his eyes as he looked back at her. She stared at the lean, tense planes of his face; the smooth tanned column of his throat before it disappeared below the crispness of his shirt and her fingers ached to reach out and touch him; to caress the hard maleness of his body.
Almost as though he had read her mind, he released her briefly to wrench off his jacket and tie, one hand returning to slide through her tangled hair and cup the back of her skull with fingers that stroked and massaged where before they had punished, the other tearing impatiently at the buttons of his shirt, laying bare a tanned vee of flesh.
‘Kiss me.’
It was a command that exerted a far more dangerous pull on her senses than any of his earlier ones. Like someone in a dream Selina arched her head back against the firm pressure of his hand, her mouth parting softly as she lifted her arms, her fingers stroking tentatively along his shoulders and up into the nape of his neck. The hoarse sound of pleasure he made deep in his throat sent ripples of response thrilling through her, her whole body coming instantly alive as he took the parted softness of her mouth with a fierce hunger, kissing her with an abandon that made her mind reel and her body ache for complete fulfilment.
Somehow her hands had found their way inside his shirt and were caressing the satin smoothness of his skin, her body weak and pliant as he moulded it against his own. Little shudders of pleasure raced through her as his hand found her breast, caressing it wantingly. When Piers unfastened the buttons of her blouse and laid bare the pale creaminess of her skin she felt no shame, only intense feminine pleasure in the way he studied her breasts. Dark colour filled his face and she felt the savage tremor that racked his body as he bent his head and touched his mouth lightly to the creamy flesh just above the lacy barrier of her bra. His touch fired a wild explosion of need inside her, her stomach tensing on a wave of pleasure, all restrain forgotten as her body leapt to respond to him.
Selina felt him tremble as he pushed aside the delicate cup of her bra. An aching tension filled her, her breath held as she waited yearningly for the burning touch of his mouth against her skin, but instead the lacy barrier was slipped back in place.
Shivering with reaction, Selina made to move away from him, but Piers stopped her, grasping both her wrists in one hand, the other cupping her face so that she could not turn away from him. This was it… He was going to mock her for desiring him…he was going to reject her so humiliatingly that she would never, ever recover…he had guessed how she felt about him.
But when she looked bravely at him Selina saw that his face was still suffused with the dark flush of passion she had seen earlier, his eyes hot and hungry as he studied her pale face.
‘I want to see all of you,’ he told her thickly. ‘To see you…to taste you…dear God, I want you as I’ve never wanted any other woman.’
He paused and when she said nothing he picked her up bodily with a harsh exclamation of pleasure, carrying her over to his bed. She should resist, Selina knew that. She should tell him that she wanted to leave; that she didn’t want his lovemaking, but it would be a lie. Her body ached to know him as its lover, and a traitorous voice inside her warned insidiously that if she refused him now she would regret it all her life, and that at least this way she would have her memories of him.
As he laid her on the bed, the tenderness in his touch almost made her cry. Gone was the savage anger that had been in his face when he caught her inside the open desk drawer; that man might never have been.
With gentle hands he slid away the barriers of her clothes, pausing once to study the full curves of her breasts, dark colour running up under his skin as he bent his head to annoint each one delicately with his mouth. Powerless to prevent the shiver of delight that tensed her body, Selina glanced pleadingly up at him, but he shook his head slightly, his fingers not quite as steady as he removed the remainder of her clothes.
She felt no shame or embarrassment in her nudity; rather an intense feminine pride that her body could provoke the fierce response she could see glittering in his eyes and feel in the hard tension of his body as he reached out and stroked his fingers lightly from her breast to her thigh.
‘Now it’s your turn. Undress me, Selina,’ he demanded thickly. ‘I want to feel your hands against my skin.’
Like someone in a dream she complied without even thinking about it, her eyes soft and dreamy as she slid her fingers inside his shirt and then down to the few still-fastened buttons.
When she tugged his shirt free of his trousers her fingers grazed his skin and she thrilled to his harshly indrawn breath. He was lying on his side beside her, his head propped up on one elbow, studying her body with a feverish hunger that made her tremble. With shaking fingers she pushed his shirt back off his shoulders, watching him shrug quickly out of it, with eyes that were unknowingly dark with mingled excitement and awe. Reacting instinctively to the sight and proximity of him she reached out to touch him, tracing a tentative, delicate caress along his shoulder and down along the dark arrowing of hair that disappeared beneath his belt.
She felt his body clench beneath her touch and heard his harsh breathing. When she looked up into his face his eyes were closed, his mouth a tight line of urgency.
‘Stop playing with me.’ It was more of a groaned plea than a command but Selina reacted immediately to it, her fingers trembling so much over the buckle of his belt that in the end he had to do it for her, the sound made by his zip as he eased it down grating harshly against her ears in the thick silence of the room. He discarded the rest of his clothes with the same tense speed with which he had shrugged off his shirt and in the light from the uncurtained windows Selina saw that his body was as totally male as she had imagined. Fine dark hairs shadowed the tanned leanness of his thighs, her eyes sliding nervously away from the evidence of his arousal, but when he reached out and cradled her against his body she shuddered pleasurably at the sensation of his hardness pressing against her. His hand moved down the curve of her spine pressing her more intimately against him, the contact with his body making her shiver restlessly.
Almost without realising what she was doing Selina turned her head into the hard curve of his shoulder, first her mouth and then her teeth finding the warmth of his skin. She felt the tense stillness of surprise hold him for a moment as she tasted the warm male salt of his skin, giving in to her own growing need to touch and caress him and then when her tongue touched tentatively against the skin she had kissed he muttered her name thickly, wrenching her round in his arms, so that his mouth could fasten on hers and plunder it with a fierce heat that left her melting against him, formless clay to be moulded into whatsoever he desired.
His hands cupped her breast as it had done before, but this time there were no barriers between her sensitive skin and the probing exploration of his thumb. She shuddered deeply in pleasure, her nipples throbbing peaks of desire that shamelessly demanded his touch. The pressure of his mouth against hers softened slightly, his tongue stroking the moist outline of her lips, his free hand capturing one of hers and drawing it against his body, coaxing her to touch him with an intimacy that made him shudder deeply, her body filled with a strange, wild excitement that she could affect him so intensely with just the lightest touch. The knowledge made her bold, when his mouth left hers to explore the delicate arch of her throat, and then explore the narrow fragility of her shoulder bones, to turn her own lips into the warmth of his skin, opening her mouth to taste the maleness of it, so lost in her own tactile voyage of exploration that it wasn’t until she heard his harsh gasp of pleasure that she realised that Piers had stopped kissing her and that he was lying in her arms with his eyes closed, his body throbbing its message of need into her own. As though he sensed her confusion, he muttered without opening his eyes, ‘Don’t stop… I want you to touch me all over, Selina… I want to feel your hands and mouth against my skin, like this…’
