by Sadie Moss
But I hadn’t wanted to. I didn’t want any of this.
“Transport spell,” I gasped.
“Lana, no. You can’t go after him now. It’s exactly what Rain wants,” Jae argued.
“I won’t go… to the palace.” My stomach lurched again, my vision hazy from the tears that wouldn’t stop falling. “I just can’t be here anymore.”
“Okay. Okay, killer.” Fen cupped my cheek, his touch so gentle it made my heart squeeze painfully. I couldn’t handle tenderness right now. “We’ll get you out of here. But we’re coming with you.”
One of my four stepped away to find a transport spell.
I shouldn’t have asked for it. The Resistance had a limited supply of them, and we would need as many as we could get our hands on for the upcoming fight. But what the hell—I was already a liar and a coward. Why not add selfish to the list?
Maybe once the rest of the Resistance members found out who I really was, how weak and afraid and unqualified I was for any of this, they’d stop following me. Stop idolizing me.
A few moments later, a small cylinder was pressed into my hand, the cold glass shocking my senses. I dropped it at my feet and shattered it with my heel as four pairs of hands supported me. Purple smoke enveloped us, and when it dissipated, the foyer of Beatrice’s house came into view.
I pulled away from my men and stumbled up the stairs, heading for the far end of the sprawling house on the third floor. I wanted to be as far from any other people as possible right now. At the very end of the north wing, I pushed open a thick cherry wood door and slipped into what looked like a large study. A desk took up one corner, while a small couch and two chairs were situated in the middle of the room.
After kicking the door shut with my foot, I sank down onto the couch, drawing my legs up to my chest. No lights were on, but the curtains were only made of a thin cream-colored material, which allowed the warm glow of afternoon sunlight to filter in.
I wished I could turn it off and sit for a while in blessed darkness.
Maybe darkness would help me forget.
How the hell did Noble do this? Lead people into a fight knowing that even if we won in the end, many of them would likely die along the way? Was practicality about sacrificing a small number of lives to save many the sign of a good leader, or a bad one? I’d never been especially scared of dying myself, but the thought of risking other people’s lives sent ice-cold fear spiraling through my belly.
I couldn’t be responsible for that.
Except, I already was.
Pressing the heels of my hands to my eyes, I tried to snuff out the images of all those Resistance members, defiant even in death.
But their defiance hadn’t helped. They were still dead. Gone.
A cry of anger and pain fell from my lips as I scrubbed my fingers roughly across my face. More tears spilled from my eyes, like a river flowing through a broken dam.
“Fuck,” I whispered softly.
“That is often the best solution,” a voice drawled from behind me, and my head jerked up. Akio lounged against the door. He must’ve slipped in while my eyes were closed.
“What do you want, Akio?” I asked, wiping the back of my hand across my eyes. He’d joined the rest of my four in supporting me back at the Resistance base, but now that we were alone, I wasn’t sure if he was here to mock me or comfort me.
“To see if you’re all right.” His tone was neutral, and his dark eyes glinted as he sat down next to me on the couch.
I laughed bitterly. “No! I’m not. And I realize it’s selfish and horrible for me to be focused on how I feel when dozens of people just lost their lives. But I feel like shit, and I don’t want to do this anymore. I’ll fight beside you all. I’ll fight Rain to my last breath if I have to. But I’m done being a leader, being a symbol. I don’t want that responsibility. Let someone else do it.”
“That’s not how it works, kitten. You don’t get to decide whether people believe in you.”
My throat tightened, and I gritted my teeth against a fresh wave of tears. “They shouldn’t.” I shut my eyes, breathing deeply through my nose. “I know those people didn’t actually die for me. But it feels like—”
“Oh, they absolutely did die for you, kitten.”
I blinked slowly, staring up at him in horror. There wasn’t a single thing he could have said that would’ve made me feel worse in this moment.
“What… what do you mean?”
He angled his head to look down at me. The warm light filtering through the curtains did nothing to soften his sharp features, and his face looked like it was carved from stone.
“Exactly what I said. You don’t get a say in how other people feel. You may not want to be a leader, but if you act and people follow, you are one—like it or not.” Akio’s voice deepened as he reached out to stroke my cheek with the knuckles of one hand. “And you are a leader, Lana. You draw people to you like the North Star. They will follow you anywhere.”
The rich, honeyed sound of his words poured into my ears like a sweet promise. My body came alive, my heart rate picking up as I found myself leaning into his touch, nodding unconsciously in agreement.
Then I froze.
Fucking hell.
I slapped his hand away from my face then shoved him so hard he fell back against the arm of the couch. Leaping to my feet, I stood over him, breath heaving.
“I told you, Akio! Do not use your godsdamned incubus charm on me!”
Before I could make a move for the door, Akio caught my elbow. “Kitten—”
I jerked roughly out of his grasp. “Are you going to charm me into leading the Resistance? Huh? Is that it?”
Instead of answering, Akio swept a leg out, catching me off guard and knocking me off my feet. I landed on my back with a thud, and the incubus was on me a moment later. His strong legs straddled me, his large hands pinning my shoulders.
“Is that what you think I’m doing?” he breathed, his eyes narrowed to slits.
“Yes!” I ground out. Our faces were inches apart, and I tried to ignore the weight of his body on mine, the way his spicy scent infiltrated my nostrils.
Hooking his arm and bucking my hips, I threw him off me. I scrambled to my feet, panting. As soon as he rose, I rushed toward him, my anger and hurt flaring out of control. My palms connected with the hard planes of his chest, shoving him back a step.
Fire sparked in Akio’s eyes, and his body tensed. When I moved to hit him again, his hands whipped out like lightning, blocking my blow and controlling my wrists. He spun me quickly, driving me backward until my back hit the wall by the door.
His body boxed me in, his tight grip pinning my arms above my head.
I grunted and twisted in his grasp, lifting my foot to aim a kick to his insole. But before I brought it down, he leaned closer to me. His breath feathered over my face as his gaze burned into me like fire.
“You’re wrong, kitten. I wasn’t charming you.” Akio’s eyes were black holes that drew me in and wouldn’t let me go. “In fact, I’ll let you in on a little secret. I have never used my charm on you.”
Chapter 18
His words caught me off guard, and I hesitated. I stared at him, breathing hard, as memories assaulted me.
Akio’s mouth brushing the shell of my ear, his voice whispering my name. My body pressing into his unconsciously, melting against his large frame. The spark of fire that blazed all the way to my core at a simple touch or look from him.
It wasn’t possible none of those things were because of his incubus charm. The feelings had been so immediate, so intense and undeniable. He had to have used his magic.
“Yes, you have,” I insisted thickly. “I’ve felt it.”
Akio’s fierce gaze never left my face as he shook his head. He tightened his grip on my wrists, lips tilting up in a vicious smile. “No. I haven’t. Sorry to tell you this, kitten, but whatever you’ve felt, whatever reactions you’ve had to me, they were all yours.”
&nbs
p; He spoke the last words like a challenge, a dare. They hovered in the space between us, stealing the air from my lungs.
Why had he let me believe he was charming me all that time?
For as long as I’d known him, I had never trusted my feelings for him completely, convinced they were manipulated or enhanced by his incubus charm. No matter how attracted I was to his dark beauty, I’d refused to give in to it. I’d been terrified of acting on an impulse that wasn’t truly my own.
But if he was telling the truth, all those feelings I’d struggled with were mine. My body and soul’s natural reaction to him.
And he’d fucking lied to me.
Without warning, I lunged forward, surging against his restraining hold on my wrists. My mouth crashed against his in a kiss that was more a war of teeth and tongues than a meeting of lips.
Not allowing me to get the upper hand, Akio shoved me backward again, slamming me into the wall as his tongue battled mine for dominance. His body rocked into mine, and I used the wall behind me as leverage to press closer to him.
When our kiss broke, he finally released his grip on my arms so he could pull my T-shirt over my head. But instead of removing it entirely, he left the sleeves wrapped around my wrists. He twisted the fabric sharply, gripping it tight with one hand to keep my arms restrained against the wall.
His other hand roamed my body with impunity, slipping down over my throat, massaging my breasts, sliding across the flat plane of my stomach before unbuttoning my jeans and shoving them down my legs. My panties followed, and the shock of cool air on my hot core made me gasp.
I worked my jeans off with my feet and kicked them away, my back bowing off the wall as I tried to bring my hips back into contact with Akio’s. His large body pressed into mine again as he devoured me with another fierce kiss. Trapped against the wall, I wrapped my legs around his lean hips, trying to regain the upper hand.
Before I lost feeling in my fingers, he unwound my shirt from my wrists and tossed it haphazardly aside. Our lips broke apart as he pulled back slightly to stare into my eyes, the inky darkness of his irises as hypnotizing and mysterious as a swirling galaxy.
Why did he have to be so fucking beautiful?
And such a fucking asshole.
Torn between wanting to hit him again and wanting to kiss him until I couldn’t breathe, I settled for grabbing a fistful of his shirt in each hand and yanking. The fabric of his soft, expensive tee ripped easily. I tore the pieces from his body, revealing the swirling black designs of the tattoos on his shoulders, pecs, and arms.
Giving in to the desire I’d had since I first laid eyes on them, I leaned down and let my mouth explore the intricate designs. I sucked and bit at the skin, leaving red marks in between the black whorls of ink.
Akio groaned, grinding his hips into me and fisting my hair.
He pulled away to work his own pants down, struggling for a moment because I refused to help him by loosening my legs from his waist. But finally, he pushed them down his legs, kicking them off after his shoes. When he backed me to the wall again, the only scrap of fabric separating us was my thin bra. His large cock pressed against my stomach, the heat of his smooth skin on mine spreading fire through my body.
He dipped his head and sank his teeth into the spot where my shoulder met my neck, just below the quartz necklace I always wore, and a blinding jolt of pleasure shot through me. The base of his cock rubbed my clit as he worked his hips against mine, and I moaned, already so close to coming I could feel my toes tingling.
But I needed more. I needed all of him.
I squeezed my legs around him, using that grip to try to work my way higher up his body, to bring his hardness to my entrance. I needed him inside me. Now.
Akio grabbed my thighs to stop me. His strong fingers dug into my flesh hard enough to bruise as he held me completely still.
“Fuck, Akio! Please!” My lips curled in a snarl as I struggled against his tight grip.
“I want to hear you say it, kitten.” His tone was rough, the usually smooth timbre strained.
“What?” I grunted in annoyance, baring my teeth and biting at his lips.
“Tell me you want me,” he murmured, like it was a threat. His voice was liquid sin, hardening my nipples and raising goose bumps across my neck.
“Fuck,” I whimpered. My hips ground against him. Even though he wasn’t inside me yet, I could feel his cock pulse.
“Tell me you want me,” he repeated slowly. “Not because of some magical bond, and not because of my demon charm. Admit you want me because you just. Can’t. Fucking. Stop yourself.”
“Yes!” The cry burst from my lips as frustrated desire nearly blinded me. “Yes, godsdamn it, yes!”
Lifting my thighs in his powerful grip, Akio drew back and surged into me, filling me completely and slamming me back into the wall. We both cried out as he stilled inside me.
“Oh gods,” I breathed, my head dropping forward.
Akio kept one hand on my hip, raising the other to grasp my jaw tightly. He tilted my face up, forcing me to meet his gaze. “Your gods can’t help you now, kitten.”
The dark promise in his voice sent a thrill of fear and desire through me, and I clung to him for dear life as he pulled back and plunged in deep again. My back chafed against the wall with each punishing thrust, but I hardly noticed the pain.
My body was on fire, burning for this man, on the verge of exploding like a dying star. I dug my nails into his back, scratching roughly, dragging my hands up his neck. I gripped the silky strands of his thick black hair, watching his face as he drove into me harder.
His impossibly beautiful features tightened with determination and desire as our bodies connected over and over. A sheen of sweat gathered on his brow, his usually perfect hair ruined by my fingers.
“I knew it would be like this. Your body wrapped around me so tightly, your thighs squeezing me, your breath and your moans in my ear.” His eyes were hooded. His nostrils flared. “I knew it, kitten. From the very first moment I met you.”
“What, you mean the moment I tried to kill you?” I breathed, taunting him even as I struggled to keep my eyes from rolling back in my head.
“Yes.”
With that one word, he thrust into me so hard I swore we’d crack the plaster. Just like we had that first time.
His strokes grew jerky and uneven, and he reached one hand between us to strum my clit. His gaze bored into mine, a torrent of emotions raging behind his dark eyes.
Anger and pain.
Lust and love.
I knew all of those emotions intimately, because I felt them too.
My body clamped down around him when I came, as if trying to keep him inside me forever. I moaned and writhed, throwing my head back so hard it hit the wall with a loud smack. Pleasure and pain mingled, and a bright white light edged my vision.
Akio dragged me away from the wall, perching me on the back of the couch. He wrapped both arms around my back and thrust into me deep and hard, the pressure sending sweet aftershocks through my sensitive clit. On his final stroke, he bent me backward over the couch. A stream of words fell from his lips in a language I didn’t understand.
He ground his hips into mine for several more moments, as if unwilling to stop fucking me even as his cock softened inside me.
When he finally pulled out, I realized belatedly that all my muscles were shaking, my thighs sore from wrapping around him like a vice.
“Shit,” I muttered weakly. “I’m not sure I can stand. I can’t feel my legs. I can’t even think.”
Akio smiled wickedly, triumph flashing in his dark eyes. Then he plucked me off the back of the couch and dumped me unceremoniously onto the plush seat on the other side. My body bounced against the soft cushions as I let out a little shriek. Before I could sit up, he moved around and crawled over one of the arms, hovering above my body to claim my mouth in another soul-searing kiss.
He smirked against my lips. “See? I told you fucking
is often the best solution.”
Chapter 19
“Okay, now I can’t feel my legs.”
“Good.” Akio chuckled, the sound vibrating through my back.
He was propped up against the couch, with me cradled between his legs. My head lolled on his shoulder, and I craned my neck to look up at him. “I guess maybe you were onto something with that fucking theory.”
“Kitten, my thoughts on fucking are more than just theories.”
Rolling my eyes, I reached around and dug my fingers into his ribs. An undignified giggle burst from his mouth before he grabbed my wrist in an iron grip, pressing his lips to the shell of my ear.
“Don’t start something you can’t finish, Lana.”
Much as I’d grown to like his nickname for me, the sound of my real name on his tongue sent a jolt of pleasure straight to my core. I rubbed my body against him like a cat, basking in the knowledge that the feelings he sparked inside me were all my own.
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” I purred, as he slipped his hand under my shirt to cup my breast.
After our second, even more athletic round of sex, I’d insisted on getting dressed. I felt bad enough for having fled the Resistance base like a coward; the last thing I wanted was one of our fellow Resistance members walking in on me and Akio naked.
But I wasn’t ready to leave the bubble of this room yet.
I had to, eventually. I knew that. Beatrice’s house might seem like a haven right now, but if Rain wasn’t stopped, there would be no safe place left in the world. Not even right by Rain’s side, something his sycophantic followers didn’t seem able to grasp.
Did they really think bowing to his will made them safer? It just made them temporarily less expendable than the rest of us.
As the euphoric high of mind-blowing sex faded, worry had come barreling back in to fill all the quiet spaces in my mind. But Akio had assured me Noble had things in hand for the moment.
Before we’d left the headquarters, he and the rest of my four had consulted with Noble. With the help of a few new mage recruits, the Resistance leader would make sure the remaining sub-cells were fortified from Gifted attack. Tomorrow, we’d solidify the final details of our plan against Rain and make our move. But this evening, we all needed to rest and clear our heads.
