“You’ve gone quiet,” Jude said as he took her hand and tugged her to her feet.
“Just thinking.”
“About?”
“How quickly things change.”
“Like?”
“Like one minute we’re walking in the woods. The next, I’m sitting in the hospital.” She dredged up a smile, took the release forms a nurse was handing her and pretended she wasn’t scared to death of what she felt every time she looked into Jude’s eyes.
“And now you’re going home to get some rest. You look exhausted.” Jude’s fingers trailed down her cheek and came to rest on her jaw. He tilted her chin up, searching her face, seeing, she was sure, everything she felt. Everything she didn’t want to feel.
“Jude, I don’t think—”
“That this is a good idea? Me, neither, but I’m not sure there’s anything either of us can do about it.” He smiled gently, his hand falling away. “Come on, let’s go home.” He slipped his arm around her waist, led her out of the room and down the corridor. Away from the hospital. Toward home. A place Lacey hadn’t known she’d been looking for, but that she suddenly thought she might have found. Not in a house, but in the arms of Jude Sinclair.
THIRTEEN
A good night’s sleep did little to improve Lacey’s mood. She frowned as she ran a brush through her hair and eyed her reflection in the mirror. Besides the thick bandage on her hand, she was no worse for wear. Her skin looked just a shade paler than it should have, but her hair fell straight over her shoulders and her eyes seemed a brighter green than usual. She’d chosen a simple turtleneck sweater dress that fell to her knees, the dove-gray color reminding her of Jude’s gray pullover. Reminding her of Jude.
As if she needed a reminder.
He’d haunted her dreams, filled her thoughts. Made her wish her past was different, that she could believe in relationships and love the way other people did.
“But you don’t, Lacey. Get it through your head. What works for other people will never work for you. No husband. No family. No house to go home to. It’s you and God. And that’s plenty.” She scowled at her reflection as she spoke, smoothing her hair one last time before turning away. It was early to start the day, but she’d never been one to sit and wait. Keeping busy kept her from thinking about things she couldn’t change.
She grabbed Jude’s pullover, pulled on a wool coat and stepped outside.
Dawn had barely arrived and the world lay sleeping and still. Deep purple and bright pinks painted the sky with color. Winter-dry grass rustled in the morning breeze. Tranquility and peace. Those were the things Lacey had been seeking for years. She’d never found them. There had been times when she’d come close, but here, in the shadow of Jude’s porch, with the night just lifting, she felt she could stand forever, breathing in the silence, the peace, all the things she’d been searching for but had been sure she’d never find.
“You’re up early again.” Jude spoke quietly, his words a gentle caress that swept over her, pulled her in and under, made her want to believe in the dreams she’d given up on.
Fool.
You’ll get hurt. And you’ll deserve it.
She took a deep shuddering breath and turned to face Jude, schooling her features. Not wanting him to see how deeply he affected her. “So are you.”
“Rough night.” He limped toward her from the side of the house, his face drawn, his jaw tight.
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
“Just stand here with me for a few minutes. Make me forget that my legs don’t work and my body wants to quit.” He pressed in close, his shoulder touching hers, his scent surrounding them. Clean and strong.
But his physical weakness was obvious. His pain was something Lacey couldn’t ignore. She slipped an arm around his waist, supporting him as she would any other client. But he wasn’t any other client, and her pulse raced at the contact, her face heating. She refused to acknowledge either. The last thing Jude needed was for her to turn away because she was afraid to be close. He deserved better and needed more than that. “Do you want me to go get you some Tylenol?”
“I already told you what I want.” He grumbled the reply, and Lacey frowned.
“I can stand here with you all day, but it won’t take away the pain or make you forget.”
“If you tell me a story it might.”
“A story?”
“One about you.”
“You’re kidding.”
“Do I look like I am?” He stared down into her eyes, and Lacey didn’t see a hint of humor in his gaze.
“No, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to tell you a story about my life.”
“All right.” He shrugged and looked away, his eyes shadowed with pain. And Lacey knew she had a choice, refuse to let him see into her past, keep things sterile and professional, or trust him with a little of who she’d been and where she’d come from. Open herself up to hurt. Or maybe to something else. Something she’d only ever dreamed of. Fear held her tongue. Faith loosened it. God hadn’t brought her to Lynchburg to see her hurt again. Whatever He planned, whatever He wanted, this was part of it. Lacey knew it as surely as she knew her life was changing. She was changing.
She cleared her throat, forcing words past the lump lodged there. “When I was a kid there were plenty of times when I felt just as you do. In pain, wishing I could forget. I worked on my stepfather’s farm in Vermont, and the chicken house was the one place I knew no one would look for me. The stench was horrible, but it was safe, so I’d go there when I was hurt, and I’d pretend I was someone else. Not a princess or a superhero, just an ordinary kid with an ordinary life. A kid who had parents who loved her, who lived in a clean house that wasn’t filled with anger. A kid who had people in her life who actually cared about her. Of course, pretending never made it so. Eventually, I left Vermont and got a job I loved. A job that allowed me to help other people have ordinary lives. Sick or old or forgotten. It doesn’t matter what their circumstances. I give them as much normalcy as I can. And I let them know they aren’t alone.”
“The end?” He shifted so he was facing her, his eyes filled with compassion.
“The end.”
“I think there’s a lot more to the story.”
“You’re right. There is.”
“But you’re not going to tell the rest?”
“Not today.” She let her hand drop from his waist and stepped away.
“Does that mean never?”
“I don’t know.” She didn’t. She only knew she couldn’t tell it now.
“Fair enough. When you’re ready, I’ll listen, because you’re not alone anymore, Lacey, and you don’t have to pretend there are people who care. There are.” His lips brushed hers, feather light. Barely there, but shaking Lacey to the core.
She jumped back, her fingers pressed against her lips. “Jude—”
“Sorry. Chalk it up to lack of sleep and forget it happened, okay?” He smiled, but there was no mistaking the seriousness in his eyes.
What choice did she have but to agree? “Okay.”
“Good. So how about we go inside and have some breakfast?”
“Sure.” She followed Jude inside, the pullover she’d brought outside with her clutched in her left hand, her right hand trembling.
Jude had kissed her.
She’d let him.
She wasn’t just falling for the man. She’d fallen. And there wasn’t a thing she could do about it. She hurried into the laundry room, dropping the pullover onto the pile of clothes there. She needed to pull herself together fast. There was no way she’d fallen for Jude. She refused to even think it, let alone believe it.
“You okay?” Jude peered into the room, his brow furrowed. Obviously, he wasn’t nearly as shaken by the kiss as Lacey.
“I’m fine. I was just thinking I’d start a pot of coffee and make a few eggs. Since we didn’t get to the grocery store yesterday, you’re still short on food. I think I saw some bread in
your fridge. I’ll get that and…” She took a breath, forced herself to shut her mouth. Blabbering on and on couldn’t change what had just happened, and it was only making her look like the nervous wreck she was. “I’ll make breakfast. You take some Tylenol. You’re not going to make it to your parents’ house this afternoon if you can’t walk.”
“If it weren’t for the fact that Grayson and Honor were announcing their engagement today, I think I’d skip out on lunch.” He limped to the counter and grabbed the Tylenol, swallowing three dry.
“I’m sure they’d understand. Wait. How did you know what their plans were? Honor said the news was a surprise.” She pulled eggs from the fridge, cracked them into a bowl. Anything to keep from looking in Jude’s eyes.
“Grayson told me they had news to share. What else could it be?”
“They don’t know that you know. If you really aren’t well enough—”
“I’ll go if I have to use a wheelchair to get there. Grayson is a great guy. He deserves his happiness, and he deserves for me to be there to share it with him.” He rubbed the back of his neck and sank into a chair.
“Maybe I should call your doctor. He can call in a prescription for pain medicine.”
“Thanks, but I did the pain meds for a month. They fogged my brain and kept me from thinking clearly. That’s the last thing I need when I’ve got someone trying to kill me.”
“Has Officer McKnight found any leads?”
“No. What’s frustrating is that I keep thinking there was something familiar about the guy who attacked us, but I can’t put my finger on what it is.”
“We couldn’t see his face. Maybe it was his size? His height? His voice?” Lacey offered suggestions as she scrambled the eggs, relaxing now that whatever had passed between her and Jude was over.
“I think it was the way he moved and held his body. He hunched over like an elderly man, but moved like a bodybuilder. Stiff and tight.” Jude shook his head.
“If you’re right about recognizing the way the guy moved, then whoever it is must be someone you know well. Someone you see frequently. Not just a person you met at court during a trial.”
“That’s what’s bothering me. I don’t want to believe someone I’m close to would want to kill me, but I keep coming back to the same thing—the person who came after us in the woods was someone I know pretty well. Someone who knows me. Remember when I tried to grab his ski mask?”
“Yes.” How could she forget? The entire incident was seared into her mind.
“He kicked my left leg. That’s the one the doctors almost couldn’t save. Only a few people know how close I came to losing it. Good friends. Coworkers. Family.”
“Your list of suspects has changed.”
“I know. And I don’t like it.” He pulled bread from the fridge and slid four pieces into the toaster oven, his expression grim. Lacey almost told him that she understood how he felt, that being betrayed by someone you loved was the worst betrayal of all.
“Did you talk to your friend in New York? Maybe he has some ideas.”
“I decided to wait until the sun came up. It’s up now. I’ll be a few minutes.” He grabbed the phone, started walking out of the room.
“Hold on. Your eggs are almost ready.”
“I’ll eat them when I’m done.”
“But—”
Jude was gone before Lacey could finish the sentence. She sighed, spooning fluffy eggs onto a plate, taking the toast out of the oven and spreading it with butter. There wasn’t any fruit in the house, but she poured Jude a glass of apple juice, then set everything on the table and waited.
And waited.
And waited.
Finally, she covered the eggs and toast with plastic wrap, put the apple juice in the fridge and cleaned the kitchen. When Jude still hadn’t returned, she grabbed her coat and went outside, inhaling the cold air and letting it cool her heated cheeks.
Jude was an adult. He’d eat when he was ready. And she would not be sorry that they hadn’t sat down to breakfast together. She’d had plenty of clients who preferred to eat their meals alone.
But Jude wasn’t just a client. He was becoming something more. Lacey could fight it. She could deny it. But she couldn’t change it. She wasn’t even sure she wanted to. She frowned, pushing open the door and walking into her duplex. The silence was as comforting as an old friend, and she let it fill her as she jogged up the stairs and started getting ready for church. No matter what happened, God was with her. She wasn’t alone. Would never be alone again. That was something she’d carry with her long after her current assignment was over and long after whatever was growing between her and Jude faded.
If it fades.
The thought whispered through her mind, tempting Lacey to believe in forever. She didn’t. She wouldn’t. But if she dared, she knew what forever would look like. It would look like Jude.
FOURTEEN
Jude watched as Lacey maneuvered Bess into a parking spot at Grace Christian Church and braced himself for what would happen when he got out of the car. Every Sunday for the past three weeks, a half-dozen women had vied for his attention before and after the church service. A few months ago, he would have been flattered by the attention, but things were different now. He was different.
And today he wasn’t in the mood to deal with what was becoming more and more a childish game.
After an hour on the phone with Jackson, Jude was more convinced than ever that his hunch was right. The person who’d attacked him in the woods was someone he knew well. The problem was, he was no closer to figuring out who that was. Jackson had promised to ask around, see if anyone on the force had taken a vacation or leave of absence in the past few weeks. He was also going to check in with a few of Jude’s rock-climbing buddies. The likelihood that one of his friends was trying to kill him was slim to none, but leaving loose ends and uninvestigated leads had never been Jude’s method of investigating.
Frustrated, he shoved open the door, wincing as pain shot up his left thigh. He’d done too much running and walking the previous day, and now he was paying for it. But he’d rather pay than be dead, so Jude guessed he wouldn’t complain.
“Do you want more Tylenol?” Lacey pulled a bottle of caplets from her purse and offered them to Jude, the sleeve of her coat riding up to reveal the silvery scars that had been on Jude’s mind more and more.
Who had hurt her?
When?
Finding answers to those questions was becoming almost as important to Jude as finding his killer.
Maybe that should have scared him, but it didn’t.
Lacey intrigued him, fascinated him. Made him want to know more about who she was and where she’d come from.
“What?” She smoothed her hair, her cheeks pink and silky smooth.
“I was just thinking about how beautiful you look with your hair down.”
“Obviously you don’t need the Tylenol. You need glasses.” She shoved the bottle back in her purse and pushed her door open, but he stopped her before she could get out.
“Wait until I’m out, okay?”
Her eyes widened, and she glanced around the parking lot, understanding immediately what he hadn’t said. “You don’t think he’s here, do you?”
“I don’t know, but I don’t want you hurt again. If he wants to take a shot at me, let him do so when you’re not standing next to me.”
“Maybe we should call for a police escort.”
“I am the police. Remember?” He got out of the car before she could say any more, adrenaline pumping through him at the thought of confronting the person who wanted him dead.
Come on, Lord. Just let him make one careless mistake. That’s all I need and I can bring him down and get on with mylife. Jude prayed as he got of the car and made a show of getting his Bible out of his trunk.
How long had it been since he’d read it?
Too long.
It was time to change that. Time to start living the life he’d always kn
own he should. If nothing else good came from nearly losing his life, at least he’d have that.
A few people called out and waved as Jude closed the trunk. He waved back, attuned to every movement, every approaching figure. If there was danger nearby, he couldn’t feel it.
Finally, he walked around the car, and pulled open the door, offering Lacey a hand out. “We’re good.”
“You may be, but my heart is about to jump out of my chest.” Her palm was smooth and dry, her movements lithe and graceful. She’d worn a dress made of soft, gray fabric that hugged her slender curves and made her skin look silky and smooth. Her lips were pink and unadorned. He’d tasted them earlier, inhaling the delicate fragrance that was Lacey before she’d pulled away. Maybe the kiss had been a mistake, but he didn’t regret it. As a matter of fact, he wouldn’t have minded kissing her again.
She must have sensed his thoughts.
Her eyes widened, and she took a quick step away, hurrying toward the church building without a second glance in his direction.
He caught up easily, despite the pain in his legs, and hooked an arm around her waist to slow her down. “Are we in a hurry?”
“Being late my first day here won’t make a very good impression on the gossips,” she answered smoothly, as if there weren’t another reason for her quick retreat.
“Gossips, huh?”
“It’s as good as an excuse as any for hurrying.” She grinned, her eyes flashing with humor, and Jude could imagine doing this with her a million times. Walking into church, his arm around her waist, looking into her eyes while she laughed.
“You should have said you were cold, or that you were worried about being shot in the back. I might have believed either of those.”
“No, you wouldn’t have. You’re too good at reading people to fall for a lie.”
“Then why did you try to lie to me?”
“I really don’t want to be gossiped about, so what I said wasn’t actually a lie.”
“It just wasn’t the whole truth?”
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