by GM Scherbert
The smile that crosses her face lights her eyes up and the mischief I see in them causes me a slight nervousness. “Oh my, you must be Dominic. You’re here to see Nick, right?”
Nodding my head at her question, she goes on. “Gawd, aren’t you just something pretty to stare at. All tanned up and those big muscles with ink crawling up and down your arms, I could just lick you up, and climb you like a telephone pole. I bet you would be a cool drink of water though, quench all the different thirsts I have.” With that she wriggles her eyebrows at me resting her chin on the hand that she has just placed against the glass case under her. I am caught off guard at the frankness of her next words. “Well you know, if you weren’t quite so old, that is.” Popping a bubble with the gum she has been chewing on before going on, “I don’t have any daddy issues, no matter what Nick might let you think. No wonder everyone was in such an uproar when you called in last week, I wonder why-“
“Annabelle,” is growled out from the hall, as Nick comes around the corner. Looking towards her, I can see my old friend, is only partially serious as he goes on, “Shut your mouth before you put your foot any further down your throat. Fuck, I sure as fuck don’t need to hear you talking about your sexual preferences, or what you think that you could do to this man, any man or woman for that matter. Jesus Christ, I hope you don’t talk to all the clients this way or we are gonna have a fucking sexual harassment lawsuit on our hands. Don’t think I won’t have a conversation with your mom about that shit either. Which means she will be having one with you.”
“Fuck, Nick, why you gotta ruin all my fun? If you talk to my mom and she talks with me, you know that is just gonna lead to her talking to you about the shop and do you really want that to happen?” Smiling wide, she goes on, “It gets so fucking boring around here when Raz isn’t here to play with, especially if Lil’ is here with her. You are absolutely no fun, and Audrey hasn’t been fun since she got pregnant. That new guy Blaine is okay, but come on his name is fucking Blaine, who the fuck names their kid that anyway. His last name is Anderson for fucks sake, who names their kid fucking Blaine Anderson, an asshole that’s who. Anyways, he’s scared of doing anything wrong because he likes this place, for some fucking reason and doesn’t wanna get on your bad side or do anything that might get him fired. Like me.” The look that comes to her face is pure pout, and I can’t stop the laugh that comes at the next exchange, “UGH! I just wanna have fun!”
“Yeah, so did Cyndi Lauper.” Laughing at that, I can’t help but wonder at the relationship these two have. “Just go outside for a couple minutes while I talk with Dom about his session in peace and quiet, okay?” Running a hand through what I notice is now graying hair, I notice the stress in him, in the way he is holding himself before he takes a deep inhale adding, “Please?” before she slumps her shoulders and heads down the hall. Not before she glances back over her shoulder, throwing a kiss at me with a twinkle in her eye.
With the mention of her name, my thoughts instantly travel to her, and that summer we shared. “How is Raz? I have thought about looking her up and having a go with her, now that I’m home and got some time on my hands. You know unless she has gone and changed or gotten involved with someone.”
The growl that escapes him in answer is not something that can be missed “That’s not going to fucking happen, Dominic. She’s got someone and I’m sure they wouldn’t appreciate you sniffing around. She’s had to change since the last time you saw her and that shit was harder for her than you could possibly imagine.”
I can’t help but asking about her, even though it seems that Nick would like nothing but the opposite. “That’s nice, she finally settled down some huh? She not still matching her hair to her outfits and wearing all that pinup shit? The last five years that I’ve been gone, she’s changed so much then, huh?”
“No she still has that fucking rockabilly style going on. Yeah, well everyone has shit that they go through, I guess and Raz is no exception.” Rubbing a hand over his hair he shakes a thought off before going on. “Well, back to the reason you’re here today man. What you thinking for this ink you’re wanting to get today? Adding more to that back piece we been working on for so long? Or you got something else up your sleeve?”
“Yeah, the back piece. I think I know just how I want to finish it up.” After letting him know my idea, he agrees with it, letting me know we would need to do it in two sessions, starting today and finishing up in a month. Heading back to his station, I stop dead in my tracks seeing Raz’s photo hanging on the wall. It’s the cover of a tattooing magazine and suddenly all the pieces fall together in my head. The spread of framed photos on the wall must be the article that she’s in. This must be the notoriety that Nick had mentioned that has the shop so busy, my Doll has gone and made a name for herself.
Looking over the photo, I see the same eyes that I have imagined over the years. Hair the color of the sea after a storm, to match perfectly with the pinup dress that snuggles close to her curves so nicely. The ink running up and down her body is plain to see, I see many additions to her ink that were not there those years ago. Much more that I can see than I recall for our summer together, and wonder what additions have been made to her body under that dress. I wish I could trace my tongue over every inch of it, much as I had those years ago. That body I have seen in my dreams has morphed into something more, much shapelier and I can’t stop the thoughts that come. The thoughts that if I got the chance, the way she would feel as I sink deep inside her again. How her hips and ass would be able to handle the pounding that I would give them. How her extra weight would give me something more to get a hold of while I reminded her how it could be between us.
“Dom, come on let’s get this shit started.” Comes from down the hall as I am caught up gawking at the spread. Shaking my head, I dismiss the thoughts that have implanted themselves and turn to make my way down the hall. Glancing into the room that use to be Raz’s, I can’t stop myself from noticing it is closed down, no lights are on, and the station looks like it hasn’t been used or prepped for the day.
Nick pokes his head out from his station, catching me looking. “She’s not here, Dom- It’s her off day and she won’t be in. She’s probably out riding her bike, or with my wife for all I know.” Nodding his head back to his room he goes on, “Now come the fuck on, let’s get this beast started so I can get home to my family sometime before the fucking sun goes down.” And with that the questions I would’ve asked are put to rest, for now at least.
~Lilly
I tried to reach out to Dominic on the number I had used that summer, but I didn’t have any luck. I tried a few times, but the message I ended up leaving was kinda cryptic. I knew that either way someone would be pissed at me, but Alba was the one that needed to have both her parents Being able to be a part of Raz and Alba’s life has fallen into place so easily other than that. Exactly the opposite of the new position I transferred into in Chicago. The job I find myself doing has little to do with helping people, which is something that had always brought me such joy in California. This job has much more to do with the rules and regulations, filing the correct paperwork, and making sure that each I is dotted and t is crossed, so to say. I can’t help but get wrapped up in the kid’s lives that I read in the files, and know that someday one of them will push me over the edge. Or even worse, claim a piece of me that I won’t be able to get back.
I’m not sure if it is the bigger city or what, but it just seems like each and every file I pick up is another sad story of abuse or neglect or both. I’m not sure if this is what I really want to do, any longer. Berkley was nothing like this, I’m finding it harder and harder to keep going to work with anything except sorrow on my face. Only six months in and I am already feeling like I need to give up, that I won’t be able to continue much longer. I went to school for five fucking years for this, and am so in debt that I can’t do much about it though, I need to pay those loans off. Those thoughts do little to help my sorrow, my pain, an
d my depression at the situation I find myself in. There is only one thing that saves me from these thoughts and it’s something that I find myself clinging to tightly.
The new relationship that I have found myself in has been the only real joy, the opposite of my days. I wish I had gone to her as soon as I came back to Chicago instead of waiting the two and a half months that I did. Taking our time those first months, getting to know each other again slowly, was exactly the right way to do this, even though Raz did keep little Alba from me. I understand her wariness at introducing that little girl to someone, until she was sure, but she still fucking held back. I don’t understand her not mentioning the girl to me during those long hours we spent on the phone, or out to dinner, or just hanging out, before she finally brought me home, so to say.
In the month that we have spent together since I have found nothing but happiness with her. Being able to watch Alba with each day that passes, being able to spend time with not only her but her momma as well have brightened my otherwise long and dark days. They have reminded me that not all families are as dysfunctional, as hurtful, as in trouble as the ones I come in contact with during my work. They help me to find peace, which is something I will fight for if need be.
The last month since Raz and I decided to give this thing between us a go, has been fucking amazing. Amazing that is except for the wide void between us, Dominic. We haven’t spoken about Dom since that first night and the riff it has made is large. I really had no problem sharing her with him those years ago, it’s not something that I had done before or since, but giving her that was something she needed, something that made her complete. She shined and grew so much over that summer, under both of our hands and the memories of it haunt me.
The thoughts come flooding back, and the way she bloomed under both Dominic and myself, and it brings a smile to my face. Remembering back to those long summer nights, and the days that we would each take turns with Raz. She never knew how much contact Dom and I were actually in, that we kept in touch to make sure that we were never pushing our girl too far, that we never had her doing more than she was comfortable with. The more I think back to those days and the way our “relationship” worked, the more I think that might be what she needs again. Remembering one of many calls that Dominic and I shared, my smile widens at the memories.
That summer…
Halfway through the summer, I had taken Raz on a short trip up north, and wondered how she would handle telling Dom about it. We went up to a cabin that I had rented and spent two days wrapped up in each other. Two nights of nothing but short breaks outta bed to grab food that we needed to keep our stamina up. Two days of whispered words, and light touches that drove each of us mad, and made me fall deeper for this girl. I knew in that moment, leaving after this summer would be hard, that this woman was someone that I could see myself with in the future, but I still had things to do before that future could begin.
After we got back from the short trip, I gave her a few days to be with Dominic, seeing that I had taken her from him while we were away. She was always very honest with each of us, but I wasn’t sure how she really felt about both of us owning a part of her. I decided calling him would be best, not wanting her to hear us discussing her. I couldn’t help wondering if he had seen any of the things that I had seen in her, or if she was more open with him, or if it was all in my mind.
When his gruff voice answered the phone, I thought better of calling him after I had finished my shift at the bar. Sometimes I forget that all folks don’t have the same life as I do, that all folks aren’t up and about at this time of day, 3:30am. I knew that I had woken him up and instantly knew she would be there with him, our Raz. “Dom, it’s Lil, if you’re with our girl, please get up and go to another room I would like to talk with you about her, and this is something I know you would agree she doesn’t need to hear.”
“Yea, yea, yea, and thanks for calling so fucking late,” hearing rustling, I picture him unwrapping himself from our girl and getting up outta bed. That is one thing that I know she shares with us, her almost indecent need to be wrapped up and around someone or something in her sleep. I picture how we were just a few days ago, and am surprised I don’t feel jealousy that he is the one getting to share that with her now.
“Jesus fucking Christ, you know that it’s like 3:30 in the morning, right? You know that some of us don’t just roll in from work at this time, right? Not all of us get to live that life, Lil. You know that some of us get up in like two fucking hours to work our jobs right? Where I will be doing heavy fucking manual labor for twelve hours.” Hearing a gruff yawn before he continues, “I like my fucking sleep Lil, what is it?” his voice softens as he goes on, “Is something wrong?”
“No, Dominic nothing is wrong. I just have been thinking since we got back and wanted to see what you thought as well. I’m sorry for calling so late, but I just was hoping to get some answers or work this shit out with you, so I could try and get a better handle on this shit inside my head.”
“Yeah, okay Lil. What is it that has been haunting you? Something to do with our girl I’m guessing since I’m the one your calling.”
Taking a deep breath, I try to put into words the feelings I have been having. “It’s just that this thing between us is something so different, so strange, so not normal.” Inhaling, I try to put these thoughts together. “I want to know that our girl isn’t just going through the motions, that she really is okay with what we share. I know it is just this summer, but I want to know she is just as into this as I know that I am, and am guessing that you are. That she isn’t settling or pleasing us for no other reason than for the fact she doesn’t want to upset one of us.”
“Fuck Lil. What the fuck do I know? She is happy when she’s with me, and I am sure you see the same when she’s with you. We are having fun here and there ain’t much more that any of us want from this, right Lil?”
“I mean, fuck Dominic, I know that we are each enjoying our time with her. The way she wraps herself up in us when she puts her time in with each of us. The way she moans out when she is coming apart for us. I don’t know Dominic, I feel like she might be doing this because she thinks she has to, or do you think she actually enjoys this crazy fucking situation we have found ourselves in? She had a shit example of family growing up, you know that as well as I do. And that last piece of shit she was with, didn’t help with her view of relationships. I know that this thing between us is strange, I just don’t want her to crumble after this summer.”
“You mean the way that she is fucking both of us? Is that what you’re talking about Lil? How she doesn’t mind hopping from me to you and vice versa? How she seems to only have eyes for us, and pays little mind to the other people that are vying for her attentions?” Gets out on a gruff laugh as he starts to see why I might be concerned.
“Fuck you Dominic. Being able to be with a man and a woman at the same time, can’t be easy for our girl. She is a different kinda girl, I know that, but this thing between us, I don’t want it to get in her head, leave her with something that she needs to get over after this summer, something that we will not be around to help her with.”
“Lil, I get what you’re saying, really I do. She is stronger than that though and you will do well to remember that.” Drawing in a breath before he goes on, I hear rustling and know that he is raking his hand through his hair. “Or is that what you are trying to say, Lil? That you want more from this? That you want our girl all to yourself?”
“No, that’s not it. It’s just that something like what we share is it so common, Dominic. Is it not something that maybe we should look more at? I mean maybe we are too young for talk like this, I know that we each have our lives to get back to, but maybe-”
“Lil, come on. You gotta go back to Cali to finish up your degree. I gotta report back and serve my time as well. There is no way that what we are sharing this summer, will work out across those miles, no fucking chance in hell that we would make it.” Taking a deep
breath, I hear a quiet sigh before he goes on, “No matter if we would like it to or not. Enjoy what we have while we have it, and don’t keep questioning it Lil. We each will have everything that we want out of our lives. She will bounce back from this thing with us, and she will move on with her life as we will do with ours. Now, let me get back to sleep, and to our girl. You know she will be waking up with a start if she can’t find something to teether herself to in her sleep.”
“Yeah, that ex of hers really fucked that up inside of her, that’s for sure. I’ll call you again to help set up that going away plan we have for our girl. Sorry again for the late call. Goodnight, Dominic.”
I want to be able to give that to her again, it is what we should’ve done after that summer, being with her again has proven it to me. Not that the two of us couldn’t make a life for ourselves, but I see it in her eyes. My Raz is missing part of herself, part of Alba, part of the family that we should be, our family. I sure as fuck know it’s not traditional, that this thing that I want for us won’t be excepted by everyone, but it is what we will be.
Giving me hope that when the time comes, my own family will be filled with nothing but happiness, love, and joy. I look up his number and try giving him a call once again, knowing that our girl would shine once again, and our little family would be whole.
Chapter 4
~Raz
Falling back into a relationship with Lilly these last few weeks, is something that has brought me so much happiness and joy. I was so worried when she found out about Alba, that shit would hit the fan, and it was a difficult situation to say the least, but it seems to have calmed down, somewhat. I try not to bring Dom up, outta sight outta mind and all that shit, but my thoughts don’t always go along with that. Alba looks exactly like him, and the thoughts of him just can’t seemed to be kept down. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to keep this thing with Lilly going because my mind seems to constantly be wandering back to that summer.
