Maureen, Daniel, John, Heather, Kathleen, Frank, Cathy, Colleen, Kelly, my dear friends in the Lord ... When his father and mother named him Michael they invited into his life and purpose the mission of St. Michael the Archangel, who led the good angels to overcome the bad angels, led by those who thought they could match God Himself.... At times like this we must remember that Michael has not disappeared—he has just gone ahead of us to prepare a place for us—that he would want us to smile through our tears—knowing that he is alive forever and loving us even more than when he was with us on earth. We can do this if we remember each and every day these three simple things: God loves us, God knows us, and God understands us.
God loves us: That same God who created this whole world with a simple word—that Lord who could turn this world back into nothing—that God loves you, He loved Michael and granted him, as He will welcome you when he calls you home, his eternal peace. He will because He will not stop loving you—no matter if you fail—because God is love.
God knows us: He knows all Michael has done—his love for you, God and country. Michael’s love for Him and what he has offered to the Lord—knows what your needs are and will reach out to you in your loss and your love.
God understands us: If I were to ask each one of you how you felt—each one would have a different answer and could say “you don’t understand”—but the Lord looks into your hearts and says “I understand.” Finally I believe that if Michael would speak to you today he might say something like this,
“To Those I Love and Those Who Love Me,
“When I am gone, release me and let me go, I have so many things to see and do, you mustn’t tie yourself to me with tears. Be happy that we had so many years. I gave you my love; you can only guess how much you gave me in happiness. I thank you for the love you each have shown. But, now it’s time I traveled on alone. So, grieve a while for me, if grieve you must. Then, let your grief be comforted by trust. It’s only for a while that we must be far away, for life goes on. So, if you need me, call and I will come. Though you can’t see or touch me, I’ll be near.
“And, if you listen with your heart you’ll hear, all my love around you soft and clear. And, then, when you must come this way alone, I’ll greet you with a smile and welcome you home. . . .”
Replacing the Flag
Following the Mass, Michael was slowly escorted back down the center aisle to the sounds of the recessional hymn, “On Eagle’s Wings.” The family followed close behind holding hands. Through his tears, Dan looked toward the entrance and saw that the heavy rain continued. After they reached the gathering space, the family removed and folded the funeral pall while the Navy casket bearers replaced the American flag over the casket and secured it into position. As the honor guard reached the top of the stairs, the rain stopped. The honor guard then proceeded and placed Michael’s casket in the hearse for his final journey.
Funeral Procession
Having grown to 120 vehicles, the motorcade pulled out escorted by ten uniformed local law enforcement officers on motorcycles, and at the rear of the motorcade were four motorcycles carrying uniformed law enforcement officers from various jurisdictions. As the motorcade proceeded, neighbors as well as strangers with American flags lined both sides of the road. The motorcade stopped momentarily in front of the house on Old Medford Road that Michael had called home for twenty-seven years. On the Long Island Expressway local law enforcement blocked off each exit and provided escort and chase vehicles. On the causeway leading into Calverton, sixteen fire ladder trucks from various Long Island departments lined both sides of the road with their ladders fully extended, forming a protracted arch with a large, thirty- by fifty-foot American flag that hung from the center of each set of ladders. Uniformed personnel at attention saluted as Michael passed, while the gentle breeze moved the flags in a manner that appeared to usher the motorcade into the cemetery.
With a large crowd anticipated, parts of the service open to the public were scheduled in the largest of the public assembly areas near the front of the cemetery, while the small, private graveside service attended by family, close friends, and the U.S. Navy personnel followed the pubic service. Many members of the local, national, and international news media were present, some intent upon attaining a photo of a grief-stricken family member. In an effort to protect the family from this invasion of privacy, a large contingent of active-duty military surrounded the media pool and greatly limited their field of view.
Military Honors
As the funeral party arrived at the public assembly area, about thirty feet from the funeral coach were twelve of Michael’s teammates from SDVT-1, six as honorary pallbearers and six as casket bearers. The seven-man firing party stood at attention in the distance but remained visible to the family. As the funeral coach came into view, the six pallbearers and six casket bearers held their salute until the coach had stopped. The driver opened the rear door and slowly pulled Michael’s flag-draped casket partway out. As Father Coyle took his position on the curb at the head of the pallbearers, the Murphy and Duggan families exited their vehicles, while the officer in charge ordered the pallbearers into position at the rear of the funeral coach. As the pallbearers removed Michael’s casket from the funeral coach, the firing detail was ordered to present arms.
Father Coyle, followed by the officer in charge, led the way to the assembly area. As the casket passed through the pallbearer ranks, each turned and followed. Directly behind the pallbearers were the Murphy and Duggan families, who were escorted to their seats under two large green canopies.
As the casket bearers placed the casket on the bier, Father Coyle stood at the head of the casket. Captain Bisset stood to his right. After the casket was properly positioned, all uniformed military personnel dropped their salute as the firing detail was ordered to order arms, then to parade rest. The pallbearers stood directly to the left of the casket and faced the Murphy family, while the casket bearers, in unison, raised the flag from the casket, held it waist high and stretched taut over the casket, and remained motionless throughout the remainder of the service. At the conclusion of the invocation by Father Coyle, Rear Admiral Maguire and Captain Pete Van Hooser, a senior East Coast naval officer holding the honorary rank of commodore, presented the Murphy family with two medals that Michael had earned as a result of his service in Afghanistan. First came the Silver Star, with the following citation:
The President of the United States takes pride in presenting the SILVER STAR MEDAL
posthumously to
LIEUTENANT MICHAEL P. MURPHY
UNITED STATES NAVY
For service set forth in the following
CITATION:
For conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity in action against the enemy while serving as part of a Special Reconnaissance element with Naval Special Warfare Task Unit, Afghanistan, from 27 to 28 June 2005. In his role of Assistant Officer in Charge of Alfa Platoon and the Reconnaissance and Surveillance ground element commander for the mission, Lieutenant Murphy demonstrated extraordinary heroism in the face of grave danger in the vicinity of Asadabad, Kunar Province, Afghanistan. Operating in the middle of an enemy-controlled area, in extremely rugged terrain, his Special Reconnaissance element was tasked with locating a high-level Anti-Coalition Militia leader, in support of a follow-on direct action mission to capture or destroy the leader and disrupt enemy activity. On 28 June 2005, the element was spotted by Anti-Coalition Militia sympathizers, who immediately revealed their position to the militia fighters. As a result, the element directly encountered the enemy. Demonstrating exceptional resolve and fully understanding the situation, Lieutenant Murphy’s element bravely engaged the militia, who held both a numerical and positional advantage. The ensuing firefight resulted in numerous enemy personnel killed, with several of the Navy members suffering causalities. Ignoring his injuries and demonstrating exceptional composure, Lieutenant Murphy continued to attack the enemy, eliminating additional militia fighters, until he was mortally
wounded by enemy fire. A champion of freedom, Lieutenant Murphy will be remembered for his sacrifice in the continuing Global War on Terrorism. By his bold leadership, exceptional professionalism, and loyal devotion to duty, Lieutenant Murphy reflected great credit upon himself and upheld the highest traditions of the United States Naval Service.
The Silver Star is the third-highest military decoration that can be awarded to a member of any branch of the United States armed forces for valor in the face of the enemy awarded upon recommendation by a general or flag officer.
Next, the Purple Heart, with the following citation:
THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
TO ALL WHO SHALL SEE THESE PRESENTS, GREETINGS:
THIS IS TO CERTIFY THAT THE PRESIDENT OF
THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
HAS AWARDED THE
PURPLE HEART
(Posthumously)
ESTABLISHED BY GENERAL GEORGE WASHINGTON
AT NEWBURGH, NEW YORK,
AUGUST 7, 1782 TO
LIEUTENANT MICHAEL P. MURPHY
UNITED STATES NAVY
FOR WOUNDS RECEIVED IN ACTION
ON 28 JUNE 2005
The Purple Heart, this nation’s oldest military award, is awarded to any member of the military who is wounded or killed by direct enemy action. Not requiring a recommendation, the wounded or deceased is entitled to it by his action in combat.
Following the presentations, Father Coyle read from Psalms 129-130, followed by St. John 11, and the invitation to the Lord’s Prayer. As Father Coyle stepped back from the casket, the firing party was ordered to attention and all military personnel in uniform saluted. In perfect unison, the seven-man firing party fired three volleys in a twenty-one-gun salute. Although the loud crack of the rifle volleys startled those who had gathered, the military personnel at attention did not move. After the final volley, as the echo and the smoke faded, the firing party was ordered to present arms, while in the distance a single bugler began the haunting notes of “Taps.”
The Meaning of a Folded Flag
At the conclusion of “Taps,” the honor guard began folding Michael’s burial flag. The lower striped section was folded over and the folded edge was folded over again to meet the open edge. A triangular fold was then started by bringing the striped corner of the folded edge to the open edge. The first triangular fold symbolized life. The outer point was turned inward so that it was parallel with the open edge, forming the second triangle, symbolic of our belief in eternal life. The third fold was made in honor of our veterans who gave their lives in the defense of our country. The fourth fold represented our weaker human nature. The fifth fold was a tribute to our country, while the sixth stood for where the people’s hearts lie—it is with our hearts that we pledge our allegiance to the flag of the United States. The seventh fold was a tribute to our armed forces. The eighth fold symbolized the tribute to Christ, who entered into the valley of the shadow of death on our behalf, that we might have eternal life. Fold nine was a tribute to all women and mothers, for it was through their faith, love, and loyalty that the character of those who have made this country great has been shaped. The tenth fold was a tribute to our fathers, for they too have given their sons and daughters in defense of their country. The eleventh fold was symbolic of King David and King Solomon’s seal, which glorified the God of Abraham. Fold twelve symbolized eternal life, glorifying in Christians’ eyes the Trinity. The thirteenth and last fold, with the stars facing upward, was to remind us of our nation’s motto, “In God We Trust.”
After the flag was folded, Master Chief Petty Officer Gary Lee delivered three shell casings from the twenty-one-gun salute to the officer in charge, who placed them inside the flag and tucked the end inside the fold. The folded flag looked like a cocked hat, which reminds us of those who served under General George Washington, and under Captain John Paul Jones.
After the folding of the flag, the clouds parted and a bright ray of sunshine reflected off Michael’s casket. Dan and Maureen looked at each other and managed a smile through their tears.
On Behalf of the President of the United States . . .
The honor guard team leader delivered the folded flag to Lee. He then turned and approached Captain Bisset, who stood with Father Coyle and Rear Admiral Maguire. Lee cradled the flag with left hand over right and with the stripes facing toward the sky. He then sharply flipped the flag, right hand over left, with the blue field facing toward the sky and remained motionless. Bisset stepped forward, slowly saluted, and accepted the flag, right hand over left. Lee stepped back, saluted, turned, and resumed his position. Bisset slowly walked over to the Murphy family.
Maureen stood with John to her left and Dan stood to her right under the large green canopy. Captain Bisset who shared an emotional closeness with the Murphy family, was relieved to see that Maureen wore dark glasses that eliminated direct eye contact.
“Maureen, on behalf of the president of the United States and the secretary of the navy, please accept this flag as a symbol of your son Michael’s outstanding and faithful service to his country and the United States Navy.” With a whisper-quiet response of “Thank you,” she accepted the flag and clutched it to her breast, as a mother would hold her infant. Bisset saluted, turned sharply, and returned to his position.
Next, SEALs Jim Quattromani, Jerry Caldwell, and James Westin of SDVT-1 approached Heather, who was dressed in black, ashen-faced, and physically supported by her mother, Lynda, and her sister Brianne. With all three at full attention, Quattromani, who was in the center, held the flag and dropped to his right knee and looked into Heather’s tear-filled eyes. “Heather, on behalf of the president of the United States and the secretary of the navy, please accept this flag as a symbol of your fiancé Michael’s outstanding and faithful service to his country and the United States Navy.”
Accepting the folded flag, Heather exploded in an agonizing cry that released a flood of tears from many of the mourners. As her tears flowed, they rolled down her face and onto the flag she clutched to her abdomen.
The SEALs then formed a line on each side of the casket and removed their Tridents, the golden insignia of a Navy SEAL. Then, one at a time, each man approached the casket, saluted, and laid his Trident on the top of the casket, again saluted, then stepped back into formation. As Lieutenant Haffele placed his Trident on Michael’s casket, Dan remembered the words in Haffele’s letter. This solemn ceremony proceeded for nearly twenty minutes. In all, thirty golden SEAL Tridents rested atop Michael’s casket. Father Coyle then resumed his position at the head of the casket and delivered the Committal. and concluded the public service with the Benediction.
Home . . . Finally
At the conclusion of the public ceremony and after the crowd had dispersed, Michael’s personal friends Jimmie and Owen O’Callaghan, James Emmerich, and Jay Keenan, along with Lieutenant Commander Muse and Lieutenant Widenhofer, returned Michael’s casket to the waiting hearse for the short ride to his final resting place for an intimate graveside ceremony to celebrate an earthly life that had been all too short, but very well lived.
As the hearse disappeared behind the cover of a small grove of trees, Eddie McElhone asked the driver to stop. While the driver watched, Eddie unlocked and opened the casket and placed the SEAL tridents around Michael’s torso before proceeding to the gravesite.
After the brief graveside ceremony, family, friends, and a “widowed” fiancée slowly walked away with heads bowed as tears flowed down their faces. Several turned back to look at Michael’s casket several times before they reached their cars; each time the sun’s bright light reflected off the casket.
In a memorable moment, as Widenhofer and his wife, Jennifer, walked back toward the car, both looked back at the gravesite and watched as Jim Quattromani, up until that moment a pillar of strength and courage for the Murphy and Duggan families, approached Michael’s casket. Although not close enough to see his face, they saw Jim gently place both his hands on Michael’s casket,
then lower his head as his body trembled uncontrollably for several minutes. They both watched in silence at the depth of the unbreakable bond of the warrior culture.
After everyone had left the area, Eddie approached the casket. Having worked tirelessly over the past several days and unable to properly grieve for a family hero—a national hero—he now took his own personal moment.
A Final Message from Michael
As Dan, Maureen, Karen, and Kristen walked back to their car, Maureen heard her cell phone ring. Her first instinct was to ignore it until later, but something prompted her to take it from her purse. Her cell phone signaled she had received a text message. She pushed the button to retrieve the message, and the words “Momma, home safe and sound. Mike” appeared on the screen. In shock, she dropped the phone, gasped, and covered her mouth. Maureen then picked up the phone and just stared at the message screen for several seconds before handing the phone to Dan. They looked at each other and managed a smile through their tears.
It had become Michael’s practice to call or text message his parents whenever he left New York to let them know that he had arrived safely at his destination. Both Dan and Maureen remembered that they had not received a message after Michael’s arrival back in Hawaii the previous March for what had turned out to be his last deployment. Now, apparently, Maureen had received that message. These devout Catholic parents, who believe that everything happens for a reason, felt sure that this was Michael’s way of telling them that he had arrived at his eternal home, safe and sound.
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