I dug up all the strength that was left in my body and with one hard motion, smashed the window with the pail. I used the bed sheet to quickly wipe the glass from the sill and tried to pull myself through the tiny crevice. I hadn’t thought about the strength it would take to heave my body up through the window. On my first attempt, my battered body failed me and I almost fell back onto the floor. I quickly collected myself and tried again, this time putting most of my weight on my right side where my ribs were still intact. With difficulty, I pulled myself through.
When I saw the star ridden night sky, I began to moan in relief but stopped myself. “There’s no time for that, India. You have to get the fuck out of here!” I ran as fast as I could, scanning my surroundings as I ran. I was in a wooded area. From the position of the moon and the bitter cold of the air, I could tell that it was the middle of the night, maybe two or three a.m. I was so high on adrenaline that I barely felt the shrubs scratch my bare legs, arms and torso as I ran.
“Where do I go, God? Please! Give me a sign,” I pleaded as I looked around desperately.
Suddenly, I heard a rustle to my right and stopped dead in my tracks. I stood motionless, listened and watched. To my amazed eyes, a young deer emerged through the bushes. My eyes almost popped out of my head.
“This must be the sign!” I thought aloud and ran in the direction from where it appeared.
I ran for what seemed like years. My legs and feet were bloody with cuts and scrapes, my body mangled but I pushed on. “I am not going to die here!” I told myself repeatedly. Soon I saw a light in the distance and began to run faster in that direction. I came upon a country road, looked in both directions but saw nothing, no approaching cars, no pedestrians.
“Where should I go, God? Which direction?” I beseeched the heavens. I heard an owl hoot to my left and went in that direction. I could no longer run, my energy was depleting quickly. I limped along, hoping to find a phone, for a car to pass, something or someone to save me. After walking for a while, my body finally yielded. I collapsed onto the road. I tried to pull herself up but couldn’t. I couldn’t even crawl. My body had been pushed to its limit. It began to break down as I lay there wailing, praying for a miracle.
27
I thought I’d died when I saw lights twinkling in the distance. So it’s true what they say. This is how it is when you die? You start seeing light in the distance and shit…I chuckled at the cruelty of it all and grimaced at the consequent pain. I saw the lights getting closer and my fading hope rekindled. As the lights grew larger and brighter, I realized that it was not a hallucination. There was really a car coming towards me.
All I need is for this guy to not see me and run over me. I sniggered at how ironic that would be and regretted it immediately as spasms of pain pulsed throughout my body. I have to pick up my arm to try to signal him but how? I breathed shallow breaths and waited until the car was closer. I gathered all my strength and shot my arm up, waving it from side to side twice before it caved in and crumpled to my side. Miraculously, it was enough. The car stopped in front of me and a woman stepped out.
“Oh my God, Dave. It’s a woman! Oh Lord, what have they done to you? Ma’am, are you okay?” she asked as she picked up my head and cradled it on her lap. A man came running out of the vehicle and halted when he saw my naked bloody body lying in a heap on the pavement. “Come help me, Dave,” screamed the lady frantically. “We have to take this poor girl to the hospital.”
I groaned as they lifted me and walked slowly to the car. “Oh, God help her!” implored Dave as they put me in the backseat and covered me with a shawl. That was the last thing I heard before I fell unconscious.
28
I could hear people moving around me. I struggled to open my eyes and found that only my right eye would open just slightly. The bright overhead light made me squint uncomfortably. I tried to move my arm and became anguished when I saw that it was restrained.
“No!” I cried.
“She’s in shock, doctor,” said a female voice. “It’s okay, ma’am,” soothed the voice. “You’re in the hospital. You’re safe now. Can you tell me your name?”
I looked up at the blurry figure staring down at me. I blinked repeatedly in an effort to clear my vision. “India …” I whispered with great exertion. “India Maldonado.”
“What did she say?” asked another female voice. “Did she say India Maldonado? That’s the missing girl from New York City. It’s been all over the news.”
“Did you say India Maldonado?” asked the first voice.
I nodded my head slightly and scowled at the stabbing soreness in my neck.
“Okay, ma’am. Yes, that’s her name,” said the first voice to the second. “Relax, don’t move. We’re gonna take care of you. You’re going to be just fine.”
I passed out before I could say or hear anything further.
I awoke to the vibrating hum and shallow beeping of machines. I opened my one good eye to see that I was in a stark white room. I could smell the stale disinfectant odor of hospital air. I could barely move my neck but with effort I was able to glance around. I saw a large bouquet of colorful flowers on the night table to the left of my bed - orchids and irises. “Beautiful,” I whispered.
A nurse entered the room. “Oh, you’re awake finally, Ms. Maldonado,” she said smiling.
“Where am I?” I asked raspily.
The nurse put a cup of water to my lips. I gulped thirstily though it smarted my throat. “You’re in Oswego Medical Center. You’ve been here five days, ma’am.”
“Five days!” I exclaimed. “¡Dios mio, no!”
“It’s okay, ma’am.”
I immediately recognized her voice. “You attended to me when they brought me in, right?”
“Yes, I did. You were quite a sight but you’re healing now. You’re going to be fine.”
“Thank you for taking care of me,” I said in between sobs.
“Just doing my job, ma’am.” But the nurse’s eyes betrayed her. She’d grown fond of the patient in room 218.
“So, who is this James you’ve been crying for? You’ve called for him several times in your sleep.”
I thought of James longingly. “I should have listened,” I whispered. I was too wrapped up in my remorse to hear the door open.
“She’s awake now. You can come in. She’s going to be just fine.”
I turned to see James walking towards me. It was like seeing an angel for the first time. We cried together as he held my hand and stared at my lumped up face.
“I should have listened,” I whimpered.
Tears streaked down James’s face in torrents. “I should have been more understanding. I’m sorry.” He tried to hug me but pulled away quickly when he felt me flinch.
“Be careful now,” said the nurse. “She’s got two broken ribs, a fractured nose and severe contusions. It’s going to take some time for her to heal so you have to handle her with care.” The nurse injected my IV with medicine through a syringe. She patted me on the leg before walking out. “You’re safe now, honey. No one’s going to hurt you anymore.”
I looked at James while he sniffled. “I thought you were dead. I should have taken better care of you, kept a closer eye on you. I slept and that motherfucker took advantage.”
I was astonished to hear James blaming himself for what happened. If anyone was to blame, I was. I was the reckless one who had foolishly acted on impulse. I tried to console James but felt suddenly groggy as the medication took affect. I gazed into James’s eyes until I floated off to sleep.
29
I heard a strange voice calling me in the distance and struggled to open my eyes. I couldn’t understand why my left eye wouldn’t open. I put my hand to my face and was instantly reminded of the brutal abduction and torture by the layers of bandages. I heard the voice again, calling my name. I opened my good eye slightly.
“Ms. Maldonado, I’m Detective Pierce and this is my partner Detective Morales. I know yo
u’ve been through a lot and probably don’t want to relive what happened to you but I have to ask you some questions that can help capture the man who did this to you.”
I stared at the officer in dismay. What the fuck does he mean ‘to help capture?’ They haven’t caught him yet?! I was startled out of my thoughts by the sound of a familiar voice and the comforting touch of a warm hand. I turned and saw my mother, Consuelo. The tears flowed unabated.
I hadn’t spoken to my mother in over three years. She disapproved of my relationship with Fabian and made no secret of it. She’d lecture me constantly about the dangers of being involved with un hombre de la calle. We’d get into screaming matches that would usually end with me storming out and not talking to her for weeks.
One steaming summer day, I decided to rollerblade to my mom’s crib in Brooklyn. I was so sweaty and uncomfortable by the time I arrived that I decided to take a shower. My mother walked in as I was drying myself off and saw the black and blues on my back. Being the protective mother that she was, she demanded I tell her who’d done that to me. I fabricated a story about falling down the stairs but Mom knew better. The next day, she went to the block and confronted Fabian. She smacked him across the face and threatened to kill him if he ever laid a hand on her child again. Fabian stood there in disbelief, too shocked to say or do anything. It was I who reacted angrily, pushing my mother away, cursing her, vowing that I would never speak to her again. “How dare you disrespect my husband?” I yelled repeatedly.
I’d kept my promise. My mother tried to reach out to me several times, sending me long, grief-stricken letters and leaving me sobbing messages, but I would not relent. I was too stupid in love to realize that my mother was only concerned for my welfare, despondent at the loss of her only child. I broke down as I recalled that day.
“I’m so sorry,” I mouthed to my mother over and over.
“Sshhh,” soothed Consuelo tearfully. “Just answer his questions. Hablámos despues.”
“Ma’am, I… I can only imagine how difficult this is for you,” muttered Detective Morales.
“No… I’ll tell you everything.” I felt a sudden surge of strength. I was going to make sure that Fabian paid dearly for what he’d done to me. “The man who did this to me was the love of my life.”
I squeezed my mother’s hand as I recounted the nightmare that I had endured.
It didn’t take long for the Oswego authorities to find the cabin where Fabian had held me captive. Although it had seemed much farther, I had only run two miles before being found. Still, despite their joint efforts with the NYC and Yonkers Police Departments, Fabian remained on the lam. Officials downstate searched his apartment on Tuckahoe Road, found the kilos of cocaine and even a large supply of heroine that I had known nothing about. They set up surveillance vans to spy his usual hangouts round the clock but when I was released two weeks after being rushed to the emergency room near death, Fabian still hadn’t been detained.
I tried not to think of this frightening fact. I had to focus on my recovery. When I’d been brought into Oswego Medical Center, I was in shock and suffering from hypothermia, exposure, extreme exhaustion and dehydration. My lung had collapsed, I had two broken ribs and a fractured nose. The left side of my face was hideously bruised but thankfully it was just flesh wounds. When I left the hospital, my eye was still swollen shut but the doctors assured me that my vision would go back to normal after a few days of blurriness. To the doctor’s surprise, I hadn’t suffered any nerve damage either. When she saw a picture of me in the newspapers, my attending doctor told me, “I’m confident you’ll be back to your gorgeous self in no time.”
I had also unknowingly sprained my wrist when I’d pulled repeatedly on the tethers to free myself. In spite of my extensive injuries, I complained that the worst was a rip to my labia that occurred during the ferocious rape. The tear required over thirty stitches and whenever I had to urinate, the nurses could hear my screeches down the hall.
As James wheeled me out of the hospital in the wheelchair, I was surprised to see Professor Daines standing with my mother beside a police cruiser. I put my head down, ashamed of my ghastly bruises. Professor Daines kneeled next to me and put her finger under my chin. She smiled. “I’ve missed you. Class just isn’t the same without your feisty criticisms.”
I smiled half-heartedly. “I’m a mess,” I whispered.
The professor tenderly cupped my black and blue face. “No you’re not. You’re just a little broken and we’re all here to help you pick up the pieces.”
Mom kissed me on the forehead. “I don’t know if you’re gonna like what we have to tell you.”
They all looked at me concerned. “Nena, you know Fabian hasn’t been found.” James said finally. “So it’s not safe for you to come home with me or to go to your Mom’s crib.”
I looked at the three of them with despair in my eyes. “Then where the hell am I gonna go?”
“The police thought it was best that you go into protective custody,” Professor Daines informed me calmly.
“I don’t wanna go with the cops. I already feel like I’ve been imprisoned for the past two months! I wanna go home.” I began to sob loudly. “Mommy, please, take me home,” I pleaded.
“No puedo, India. What if he comes to look for you there?” My mother held my head to her breast, comforting me.
“We knew you wouldn’t agree to that, India,” continued Professor Daines. “So I offered to let you stay with me in my home in the Poconos. The police thought it would be safe since Fabian... Is that his name?” she asked quickly before going on. “Fabian knows nothing about our relationship so there’s no way he could know you’re with me.” I turned to look at my mentor. I couldn’t believe her kindness. “The police are also concerned that Fabian will go after your mother and James to get to you so I’ve offered that they stay with me as well. There’ll be a patrol car outside the house 24/7, just in case but …”
Before the professor could finish, I had thrown my arm around her neck. “Thank you, thank you,” I repeated, tears of gratitude rolling down my face.
As we drove to Pennsylvania, a police escort in tow, I stared out the window. “What about school, Professor?”
“I’ve arranged with your professors to have your final assignments and exams e-mailed to you. You’ll still be graduating on time, okay?” She winked and smiled at me in the rear view mirror.
I was still having trouble swallowing all that had happened to me in the short span of six weeks. You won’t get the best of me, I thought to myself silently.
30
The sun sparkled off the calm waters of Lake Towamensing. I sat on a chair by the shore, watching the ripple of the water on the lake’s edge and listening to the harmonious sounds of nature. I was relieved to be away from the city, far from everything that had caused me grief. Still, a part of me was sullen. I’d waited so anxiously for the day that I would don the baby blue gown with the Columbia crown stitched neatly on the lapel and the cap with the gold tassel swinging to the side. I’d dreamt of walking across the stage and receiving my degree, gushing with pride and accomplishment. But Fabian had dashed yet another one of my dreams. There was absolutely no way I could attend commencement while Fabian was still on the street.
I turned to see a woodpecker drilling a hole in a tree. I watched curiously as the bird chiseled away at the wood. I was so engrossed in watching the bird toil that I didn’t see James walk up and sit on the grass next to me.
“How you feeling?”
I sighed and without looking responded, “This shit sucks, James. We can’t even go to our own graduation because of this dick. I’m sorry I dragged you into this. If I hadn’t, you’d be home, safe from harm.” I stared at the blue black water blankly as the afternoon shadows lengthened across the expanse.
“That’s bullshit, India. I got involved willingly. You didn’t make me do shit.”
I looked at James sadly. Our first night there, James had tried to climb int
o bed with me. Just the presence of a man in my bed nauseated me. I couldn’t help how I felt and didn’t know how to tell James. When he tried to hold me, I cowered and balled myself into fetal position at the opposite side of the bed. Moments later, I felt James climb out of the bed. The following morning, I found him sleeping on the couch. We hadn’t discussed or even mentioned it at all since. I had immersed myself in completing my final requirements, using it as an excuse to avoid James altogether.
“Look James, I… I’m sorry I’ve been so distant. I just…” I stuttered.
“You don’t have to explain. I can only imagine what you’re going through. I understand that you can’t handle this or us right now. I’ll wait as long as I have to,” he said sincerely.
I didn’t know how to tell him that I didn’t know if there would ever be an ‘us’. Right then, I couldn’t fathom being intimate with any man. That was just the farthest thing from my mind. James rose and walked back towards the house. I felt bad but I was honestly relieved that he’d left. I had other more important things to think about.
I looked down at the laptop on the table beside me. In the week and a half I’d been in the Pocono Mountains, I’d completed all my requirements, taken my finals and written my papers except for this last one. It was Professor Daines’s final. While it appeared simple at first sight, I couldn’t bring myself to begin. I didn’t know in what direction to take it. I reread the assignment for what must have been the tenth time.
Write a fictional biography, in first person, of up to 1500 words. There are no boundaries; you can decide to be flamboyant or conservative in creating the fictional person. Be sure to remain in touch with the process of writing. Consider the inspiration for the piece - your aspirations, the lives of others, etc. And, finally, be conscious of how your imagination is working. Good luck!
Woman's Cry Page 9
