Joy's Summer Love Playlist

by Piper Bee

  “No! I just think you’re interesting. You just got paid to spend a week alone at two huge houses, and yet your dream is to… pay for that very same thing.”

  “Ok, when you put it that way… I mean I wasn’t really alone.”

  Shoot! It slipped out. I open the front door and hope the transition is enough distraction that he won’t ask. Please don’t ask.

  “You mean the dogs, or… someone else?”

  He asked.

  I lower my voice. “Cale came by. Zany was freaked out. Cale’s a dog person, so he helped with her. Plus, he’d never seen Harry Potter, so yeah. We spent some time together. Nothing crazy. Except for the two seconds he forgot to take his shoes off in your house.”

  Jin gives me an exaggerated expression of shock. “Betrayal!”

  I laugh with him. He hands me my possessions and I hug them like a teddy bear. He still seems unfazed by the fact that I sleep on rainbow leopards.

  “I should give you my number,” he says, in a way that would inspire soft-focus and sparkles.

  I gape at him. “What?”

  “Um, just in case you need something,” he amends, and scratches his head.

  “Oh. Sure.” I fumble for my phone and we exchange numbers.

  “Guess I’ll see ya ‘round.” Jin’s voice is smooth. I catch myself biting my lip as I watch him leave.

  I smell heaven on a cookie sheet and glance to the kitchen. Seeing Fernando in his frilly apron is like rewatching a favorite comedy. And this time I’m not splayed out on the floor, so it’s even better.

  Well, not for Lena. Nobody should be so upset to go on a vacation to Cabo.

  She says nothing when she sees me. Unless you count a pitiful sigh as a greeting.

  Fernando and her mom, Angela, assure me Diamond has never had issues with the Fourth of July fireworks. They head out to the limo that just arrived and Lena hangs back for a second.

  She hesitates. “Jin’s really friendly. Just… don’t take advantage of that.”

  I blink, a bit shocked. “I won’t.”

  Her shoulders relax and she smiles on one side. “Okay.”

  “Hey!” I gently push her shoulder. “Have fun, will ya?”

  She rolls her eyes and fights a smile. “Fine!”

  Then she slogs to the limo. Does she really think that something could happen between me and Jin? If she does, she’s crazy. But, it could just be that I’m getting what she wanted, and I can’t fix it. It’s not as simple as taking braids out of my hair.

  Lena will perk up when she hits the blue ocean under the Mexican sun. If not then, the tan, muscular beach men won’t hurt.

  I shut the door, enclosing myself in an echo chamber of silence. Apart from the soft scuttling of Diamond, who pants at my side.

  I head straight for the kitchen.

  The cookies are still warm and melty. Diamond follows and begs for a cookie with that goofy puppy smile.

  If I could give him chocolate, I’d cave in negative two seconds.

  “Hey pupperz,” I say with a mouthful of cookie.

  Eventually, the corgi and I snuggle up in the den. This Korean romance drama cheeses hard, but I can’t stop watching. It has nothing to do with the fact that the lead love interest looks like the guy one house over.

  Nope.

  My go-to excuse is that reading subtitles forces me to pay attention to the screen instead of trying to multitask.

  I’m a little stiff after a few hours of that. It’s a good time to make myself dinner. When I peel the throw blanket off and rise from the supple couch, Diamond wakes into immediate jitters. He races to the stairs, probably heading for the kitchen. Fast for a corgi.

  My bare feet touch the cold tile of the foyer.

  Knock knock.

  I see his distorted figure and neon green cast through the floral glass pattern on the door.

  Should I open it?

  What am I thinking? I can’t leave him out there.

  I open the door and perfectly warm air flows in with the evening sun.

  “Hey, Jin.”

  He greets me with a warm smile. How can he just hand those out like they’re nothing?

  “Hey, um, I ordered too much Chinese food. Thought you might want some. Besides, you technically still have to feed Zany.” His blush-color lips twitch in a smile for a second.

  “Right! I should.”

  Oh my God. I just agreed to have dinner with him.

  Diamond brushes against my leg. I look down at him and hope he’s the only one who can see my nerves.

  In an only-for-dogs voice, Jin says, “Come on boy!” Diamond happily waltzes out.

  Ginger and red pepper in thick sauces send an aroma hovering in the air when we walk into his foyer. I still feel like we are way too casually dressed to be walking around in his museum of a house. Nevermind the goofy-looking corgi and hyper black lab.

  “Do you like tea?” Jin asks me when we get to the kitchen. With one hand, he pulls out plates from the mahogany cupboards and then reaches back for a yellow box. He sets it down, and reads “Jasmine” in gold letters.

  “Sure!” Wow, yeah. That enthusiastic attempt at lowering my awkwardness had the opposite effect.

  The tea kettle hisses. I don’t think I’ve ever had jasmine tea.

  Jin attempts to shovel chow mein onto the plates. “Attempts” is a generous word, actually. I giggle cruelly, if that’s possible.

  “You can pour the tea, how about that?” I say, reaching for the white takeout boxes. I brush his arm. My senses are super haywire because I’m not sure if I should be here. Is this what Lena meant by taking advantage of his friendliness?

  I choose to act like it didn’t happen. Because, like, what the heck is the big deal about brushing arms, right? It doesn’t mean I like him.

  The hot water is done and Jin pours it into the mugs. I’m struck by the aroma of jasmine. Peppery, floral, and slightly citrus.

  “Where have I smelled this?” I say as I pull the cup close to my nose. The steam hits my face.

  I’m taken back to the fair. When Jin leaned in to tell me something. He totally smelled like jasmine.

  “What is it? You remember?” he asks me. He sips from the edge of his cup, slurping to cool the tea.

  Do I tell him? I mean, I can. This isn’t a thing.

  “It was you. At the fair.” I desperately seek a segue. “Do you drink it a lot?”

  He nods, and slurps his next sip. “I’m a tea nerd.”

  “Really?”

  “My family in Korea sends me tea for my birthday. It’s way better over there.”

  Jin opens a cupboard full of teas. He owns that fact about himself, along with many others, proving he’s a good conversationalist. His wrist break story is a dull one, he tells me. He tripped on a porch step and landed wrong. I can relate. The cast should come off in less than two weeks, but he didn’t “feel like” going to Cabo with it on. I mentally roll my eyes at the idea of a rich person not “feeling” like an exotic getaway.

  Jin rubs his mug and sips. The halt in conversation is palpable.

  “Was it really your wrist that made you not feel up to going?” I don’t know why I ask, but it feels like there’s more here.

  “Ah, yeah. You got me,” he says. “I’ve been worried about taking the Korea internship. I kinda wanted the headspace. But now that I have it, I just want… distraction.”

  I lean in. “What’s bothering you about it?”

  “It’s a really great opportunity. I can do in a year what I’d get done here in two years. And I’d make connections with people over there, so jobs would be easier to find.”

  “But…” I prompt.

  “I don’t want to go. Or I guess, I don’t want to leave. It doesn’t feel right, I don’t know.”

  “Can you put it off?”

  “See, that’s the thing. I can’t, really. They want me to come in August. And it’s an honor to get selected. They only pick five people in the whole country.”
r />   I get the sense that the pressure saddens him for some reason. I take a second to think about what I would do, but it’s obvious to me.

  “I mean, I would go,” I say, but I kind of hate it when I try to be a fixer. “You should do what you think is best, but I wouldn’t want to miss the chance, I guess.”

  He sighs. “Yeah. You’re probably right.”

  We leave it there, and our conversation flows again, like we worked out a kink.

  Jin gets out of me that I was vice president of the glee club at Willow Haven. I always think it’s strange when people are impressed by what is essentially a compulsion. But I like that he thinks I’m cool.

  And then he brings up Cale.

  “So, it’s definitely fake? Because I saw you two holding hands.”

  “All for show. I wasn’t even expecting that.” I have a bite of the spicy, tangy General Tso’s chicken and keep talking with my mouth somewhat full. “I was relieved to tell someone, actually. Thanks for being my accomplice.”

  “Anytime.” He smiles at me. Again.

  “So, do you have plans for the Fourth?” I sip some tea. It’s just barely not too hot to drink, and the flavor is delicious. Not near as soapy as I’d expected.

  “Well, not anymore,” he says.

  “Clearly! Cale invited me to Americanafest, so I’m gonna go to that.”

  “Even though you’re not dating?” There’s a sly smile before he slurps more tea.

  I automatically roll my eyes. “Friends can’t hang out?”

  “Of course they can. Just like this. We’re friends, right?”

  I nod. “Yeah, I could use another friend. You wanna come with on the Fourth?”

  He pretends to give it some thought. “Yeah. Sounds fun!”

  I sip my tea, hoping that Lena won’t be too upset that I get to spend time with Jin. We just established friendship. Not taking advantage of friendliness, just reciprocating it.

  I speed up our farewell by feeding Zany and washing dishes, which was basically just the two plates and two mugs we used for tea.

  Diamond follows me back to Lena’s. I wish I could stop thinking about Jin. My mind forces me to replay the various smiles he offered me this evening. My heart is a schoolgirl, and it just met a member of our favorite K-Pop idol group.

  I need to calm down. He said it. We are just, barely, friends.

  TRACK 09 - WOKE UP LATE

  JULY 2ND

  I wake up blissfully alone with the heavenly glow of morning to greet me. The tangible silence tells me I’m not at home. No road noise. No dad in the kitchen, whistling and crackling bacon in a pan. No Carson and whatever growl-inducing frustration hits him first in the day.

  Lena’s clock reads 9:09 AM in glowing teal block numbers. I yawn and stretch, relishing the puffiness of her blankets on my rested body. What should I do today? I check my phone, kinda wondering if Cale has texted me, but I didn’t actually tell him I started dog-sitting yesterday. Hanging with him might be fun.

  He didn’t text me. But at 8:59, Jin did.

  JP: Do you like french toast?

  I think it’s because I’m still half asleep. That must be why I text him back without reading his question as an invitation.

  JB: Definitely

  JP: Oh good! I need help cracking the eggs. I already made a mess of it so I gave up haha

  Jan-di did say I should make sure he eats. Who am I to defy a strict Asian mother?

  JB: Lol be right there

  I pride myself on being ready in five minutes. I don’t need much. My hair is post-sleep messy so I put it in a loose bun. I check myself in the mirror and brush my teeth. Put on a bra, some deodorant, a hoodie and yoga pants that have never once been used for yoga. Then I’m out into the blinding yet cool morning.

  Jin answers the door with a lick of hair still sticking up. Did he look in a mirror after he got out of bed? Not that it matters with him.

  In the kitchen, I witness the mess of egg guts and white shells in, and around, a metal mixing bowl. After examining the carnage, I make judgy eyes at the culprit. He scratches the back of his head with his good hand.

  “My mom usually does the cooking,” he says.

  “You’re hopeless.” I waste no time making this mess right. First clean up, then ingredient prep. It’s a good thing I make French toast for myself often. I whisk the eggs, milk, vanilla, nutmeg, and cinnamon with a fork.

  “What are your big plans today?” Jin asks.

  “Um, not much really. You?”

  “Fighting boredom. I could use a break from Rocky movies.”

  I glance at him briefly before placing the soaked bread in the pan. It sizzles and my mouth is already watering. The mixed scent of vanilla and butter rises from the pan.

  “Well, my plan is to binge the first season of The Walking Dead,” I watch the edges of the toast for browning.

  “Can I be honest?” he says. His tone is serious, like he’s stepping away from our light conversation.

  Our eyes meet. Why is my heart pounding? “Sure.”

  “I’ve never seen that show.” He winces. “Is that bad?”

  A stupid amount of relief washes over me. I laugh. “Oh my gosh! I thought something was wrong.”

  I hastily flip the bread over with a spatula. I didn’t miss the perfect timing, thank goodness.

  He apologizes for freaking me out. I get another piece of bread soaking in the egg mixture.

  “I haven’t seen it either. Figured I should start,” I admit.

  “So we have something in common! I was beginning to think you were more experienced than me.” It’s so casual and easy coming from him.

  “Well, unless we watch it together, I will be,” I say, and I feel my pulse in my face because that totally sounded like an invitation.

  “Then I guess we’re in it together,” he says. I flip the French toast onto a plate. Then he smirks, and it’s really cute, but I’m freaking out. I push the plate to him. He covers his toast in syrup and eats it, and compliments my French toast making skills and I AM STILL FREAKING OUT.

  I feel sort of like I betrayed Lena, but it was just a comment. I didn’t mean to invite him.

  But I also don’t stop him when he follows me back to Lena’s house after breakfast.

  ♫

  Zombies eating people is the most unromantic thing we could be watching together. Despite the brief hot and heavy scenes in the first episode—which are weird to watch with anyone, I remind myself—the show is nothing but gore and suspense. Harry Potter with Cale was more romantic, by a long shot.

  Comfortably seated on the sectional, but keeping friendly distance, we watch three episodes without much interruption. Halfway through the first (oddly short) season, I pause it for a break.

  “What? We have to watch the next one!” Jin says as if it’s obvious.

  “This is why I usually stop watching in the middle of an episode. You’re not that invested in the middle.”

  Jin gives me a look of horror. “How can you do that?”

  “I don’t like the suspense of not knowing what’s going to happen!”

  “Really? I love that part.” The way he says it makes me want to love that part, too.

  Diamond waddles into the den. On that note…

  “I should walk the dogs.”

  “Right. Forgot you were working.”

  We leave the den, and just when I’m convinced that Jin has had enough of me, he asks if he can join the walk. For fresh air. So I have him bring Zany over.

  After securing the dogs on leashes, we take our walk. The sun’s at a pleasant intensity, not too harsh but still causing a sheen of sweat. It’s actually a bit too nice of a day for watching TV.

  But somehow, I don’t care.

  Zany yanks hard on the leash, so I let Jin have Diamond. Jin jokes about Walkers racing out from the dense trees on the side of the road. I do kind of wonder what it would be like if zombie moaning interrupted the sweet bird songs.

  We agree I
’d probably kill more zombies. At least while he’s still injured.

  I really wanted to be alone for this long weekend. Wanted.

  Now all I want is to finish the first season of The Walking Dead.

  But when we get back to the house, I’m famished. I make him some boxed mac and cheese, despite that it’s truly the one thing he could make with a broken wrist. I share my secret ingredient: salsa.

  Yes, I’m serious. Jin’s not buying it until I start eating from my own bowl. He wiggles his fingers for me to pass the salsa. Right when I do, my phone buzzes. His too, a second later.

  It’s a picture from Lena. Tan sand, harsh sun, teal waters in the background. Her black, sparkling bikini top holds her well. She gives the camera a rose-pink smile, with peace sign fingers. I don’t know how many tries it took to get this picture just right, but she nailed it.

  Guilt sinks in my abdomen. “It’s Lena.” I try to sound… happy?

  Jin peeks at his phone screen.

  “I bet you’re wishing you were there right now,” I say, with a pinch of regret. “Looks like she’s having fun.”

  Jin pours a bit of salsa in his bowl of mac and cheese. “I’m having fun, too.”

  “It’s not Cabo.”

  “Eh. The Walking Dead is preferable in my state.”

  He makes eye contact for a second. Jin’s eyes are so dark, they always have a twinkle in them.

  I think I’m starting to enjoy his company too much.

  “This is weirdly good,” Jin says, chuckling with a mouth half-full of my odd food combo.

  I stare at Lena’s flawless picture. She’s off in Mexico, trusting me with her dog and this guy that she’s in love with. I might’ve already crossed over into “taking advantage” territory.

  “I should probably shower after this. What time is it?”

  He checks his phone. “Whoa! It’s almost 4!”

  I stuff my mouth with the salty, rehydrated cheese noodles, relishing the vinegar tomato flavor that mingles with it. I don’t know what else I should say. I may be okay at banter, but I’ve always been terrible at being blunt.