She turned away and I could see the tears brimming up in her eyes. No doubt she was thinking about Eric. But I have my reasons for joining the army, and I couldn’t quite tell her about them yet.
That wasn’t up to me—that was up to the pride leader. Her father.
“Listen, I know you probably want to be alone right now, and I understand. I’ll be here another thirteen days. But just remember, I don’t want to spend another day in the middle of the desert without knowing that I have you waiting for me at home.”
I leaned over her short frame and kissed the top of her head. She smelled like chamomile tea and and sugar cookies. I inhaled, closing my eyes as I took in the scent I had been dreaming of for all those months in the Savannah, chasing down rogue terrorists.
I took a step back but she wouldn’t meet my gaze. It hurt, but I knew she was hurting more. Eric was her best friend, and the two of them were thick as thieves. The day he died a part of her did too.
But if she would just let me, I would do everything in my power to heal her.
“I’ll see you tonight then, at Bluebeard’s with Shannon.” She nodded, and I wanted nothing more than to look into her chocolate eyes. “I love you.”
I said it with as much strength and conviction as I could—not that it took much effort. As I walked back inside the house and made my way to the front door, I could feel the words still warm on my tongue.
She was my future mate. The moment we could consummate our love I would imprint on her and never let go.
I was sure of it.
Chapter Three
I sat in the living room trying to fill out report cards for the end of the quarter. Everything that happened earlier made it hard to concentrate, but luckily it doesn’t take much effort to grade five and six year olds. It mostly involves writing a lot of superlatives and smiley faces.
Still, I found even that difficult. I couldn’t stop shaking, thinking about how my resolve around Dalton had been weakening as of late. It was like every year he came home I was even more drawn to him, and he had somehow become increasingly irresistible.
But he had also never been so direct, never dared to kiss me and demand that I be his wife. The tension between us usually hung around like an invisible force, something we always felt but didn’t have to acknowledge.
We could only pretend for so long. Well clearly, he was done pretending.
“Dammit,” I muttered after I splashed some tea on a report card. Clearly I wasn’t going to get much done.
Just then my phone went off, giving me all the excuse I needed to jump up from the couch and run over to my room. I grabbed the phone off of my bedside table and answered quickly, not bothering to check the caller I.D.
“Hello?”
“Hey, baby doll,” came my father’s thick Midwestern accent. I felt the tension in my body melt a little with my father’s warm and comforting voice.
“Hey, Dad. How are you?” I asked, sinking onto my bed.
“I’m just fine. Hey, why don’t you come on over to the ranch? I need to talk to you about a few things.”
“Right now?” I asked in surprise. My father was generally pretty laid back about things.
“Now would be fine. Are you busy?”
I thought about the report cards and how there was no way I’d get very far with them even if I did stay home. “No. No, I’m not. I’ll be over in twenty minutes.”
“See you soon, sweet heart.”
“Bye Dad,” I replied, clicking off my cell phone and smiling despite myself. I should have been more disconcerted considering he wanted to see me immediately, but visiting my father made everything in my life so much easier. He was so easy-going and genial, with a warm melodious voice that could put a crying baby to sleep. He was my rock, and even if he didn’t know the details of my problems, he always knew the right thing to say.
I grabbed my purse and tidied up the papers in the living room before pulling on a comfortable pair of flats and heading out the door. I could hear my father in my head, chiding my choice of footwear, but it didn’t matter. I wasn’t in any mood to ride a horse anyway.
I stepped out of my old, beat-up Jeep and made my way up the ranch’s dusty driveway. I held my hand over my face, squinting as I tried to keep the gust out of my eyes. I had probably told my dad a dozen different times that he should get his driveway paved, but he was stubborn. Said that he didn’t have time for my city-like sensibilities.
I knocked on the door and my father came out within seconds, pulling me into a big, warm hug.
“Hey sweet heart, come on in. Your mother’s making a casserole for dinner. You hungry?”
The truth was, seeing Dalton that morning had all but ruined my appetite. But smelling the warm, deliciousness of my mother’s cooking, I felt it come rushing back to me.
“I could eat,” I grinned.
“Well good then. Let’s go out back while your mother’s taking a shower. We’ll eat when she’s done.”
I followed my dad to the back porch and we sat down at the small wooden table he had built himself. Looking out onto the setting sun over my father’s ranch, I couldn’t help but recognize little bits of Dalton in it. The shed. The fence he replaced. Abby, his favorite horse, chomping on some oats in her stall.
“So why’d you call me over here, Dad? Not that I mind dropping by.”
“You should drop by more often then,” he mock-scolded me.
“But I called you over here because from what I understand, Dalton came by to visit you this morning.”
My heart clenched. “He told you?”
“Dalton and I speak much more often than you think,” he said, turning his head back onto his expansive property. He had a faraway look in his eyes. “He’s like a son to me, Jessie. A future-son-in-law, if there’s any good in the world.”
“Dad…” I said, feeling a little nervous. He had always wanted me to settle down with Dalton, told me he was a good man who would take care of me. He didn’t trust just anyone with his baby girl, he would say.
But I always bristled at that. As much as I love my dad, I do not need him interfering with my love life.
“Now listen to me, Jessica Marie. You asked why I called you over here. I’m trying to let you know. I understand that Eric being gone has been hard on you. Trust me,” he said lowly, a grave look suddenly coming over his face. I could see hurt in his warm, gray eyes. “It hasn’t been easy on me either. Nothing’s been so terrible in my life as burying my own child. But Dalton, he’s a good guy, and he chose to serve in the military for reasons that I think you’re old enough to know about now.”
I cocked my head inquisitively. Dalton had always been quiet on the subject of why he chose to serve, but I never thought it was something he would tell my own father before me.
“Dalton...like me and your brother, we have special abilities. We’re...well we’re more powerful than your average Joe. That’s why we feel obligated to serve our country. To protect freedom.”
“What do you mean, special abilities?” I asked, unable to figure out what he was getting at. Sure, they were an exceptionally strong group of men, but I don’t know if I would call strength a special ability.
My father took a deep breath, and then turned to face me. He gave me the look he gives only when he’s trying to convey how serious he is.
“We’re shifters, baby doll. Dalton and me, we can turn into lions when we see fit, just like your brother could.”
I stared at him blankly, trying my best not to laugh. But part of me suddenly became very concerned that my father might be going senile.
“Jessie, I know that look, and your old man isn’t that old. Don’t you go insulting me with your pity,” he growled.
“Dad...I’m sorry...but that’s literally crazy. I think you need to go see a doctor.”
My father placed his hand on my arm, his gaze still dead serious. “Just because you don’t understand something, doesn’t mean it’s not true or real. Dalton loves you
and wants to be with you. But he chose to protect his country because he’s special, and the military needs men like him. Just like they needed me, and just like they needed Eric.”
I felt a rush of anger fill my body. Why would my father insult my brother’s life with this weird fantasy garbage? I pulled my arm away, hurt and confused.
“Dad, I think that’s enough,” I said quietly, imagining how I would have to bring this up to my mother.
“Now listen—” my father started, picking up a finger to point it at me. The sliding door opened behind us and my mother stood against the frame, wearing a loose cotton blouse and capris. She smiled at us and shook her head, crinkling her warm brown eyes.
“Should have guessed you two would be out here. Like father like daughter. You always did love coming outside for some fresh air.”
I quickly got up from my seat and ran over to my mother for a hug. I didn’t want to think about how I was going to deal with my father just yet. But I knew over dinner it would be a struggle to look at him without dread filling my stomach at the thought of losing him.
Chapter Four
Just staring at the letter made my heart heavy. But I had been doing that regularly for the last two months and ten days, and the power of her words never ceased to amaze me.
It was like each time I read it I could hear her sweet voice in my head.
Dear Dalton,
Things here have been pretty good. I think I’m finally dealing with Eric’s passing instead of trying to run from it, even if it has taken me nearly a decade. Better late than never.
Shannon has been great support, and we go out regularly to the movies and to grab some drinks. Did you see that action movie with Casey Patterson? I thought it was good fun, if not more than a little cheesy.
School has been great too. The kids get unruly, but they’re just as sweet as can be. The Thanksgiving pageant is coming up, and they look absolutely adorable in their little Pilgrim and Indian construction paper outfits! I’ve included a picture so you can see—someone should appreciate all my hours of cutting out costumes! I have way too many paper cuts, but I think it’s worth it.
I can’t wait to see you again. I know it takes forever for you to get these letters via snail mail, but I think there’s something so important, so organic and tangible about communicating this way. Stay safe soldier, and keep your ass covered.
Lots of love,
Jessie
She always ended her letters the same way, and yet it never ceased to make me feel like I was in high school all over again. Even the casual use of the word “love” made me imagine her in my arms, her beautiful brown eyes boring into mine, her dimpled smile for me and me only.
“Still looking at that letter?” My older brother Rob teased.
He had come in from out of town to stay with my parents during my visit, and since he worked at home and wasn’t married yet, it was easy for him to stay at my side. Which, embarrassingly enough, meant he had caught me looking at the letter one too many times since I arrived eight hours ago.
“Yeah, well. It’s not so simple for me. You don’t have to explain to every girl you want to date that you can shift into a lion at will, much less the girl you know you need to marry.”
“Wait,” Rob paused, muting the football match to look me in the eyes. “She still doesn’t know? But her dad’s the pride leader!” Rob exclaimed. “I mean, even I know about you and her dad’s lion thing, and I’m not even like you.”
“I know,” I sighed, “tell me about it. But Alan did say he was going to tell her today, so I guess all I can do is hope that she doesn’t get even more freaked out about it and never want to talk to me again.”
Rob let out a low whistle. “I don’t know, man. How do you tell someone who’s twenty-four-years-old already that her father is a werelion without her losing it? I mean, it’s a big deal. She might not even believe him.”
“I know,” I grumbled, staring at the letter again before folding it up and placing it back in my pocket. “But she’s just going to have to accept it. I knew the moment she turned sixteen that she was my mate. It’s just a matter of time now.”
Rob shook his head, unmuting his match and taking a sip of beer from an aluminum can. “You’re crazy, I’ll give you that much. I don’t know anyone who would try so hard for a woman who could hardly bear to kiss me.”
I sat back into the couch, his words resonating with me as I watched the moving figures flicker across the green field. What he couldn’t know was that I felt the power of her kiss. And while there was a hint of regret, it was a regret overwhelmed by longing.
Dear Jessie,
I’m glad to hear you’re doing well. I worry about you a lot, and I know you get annoyed when I say that. But it’s true. I’m just an overprotective kind of guy, what can I say?
The kids do look super cute in their outfits, but don’t let them fool you. When I’m a father I won’t ever let my kids take advantage of their kind-hearted mother. Still, their faces do make me want to melt. You’ll have to tell me how their pageant goes.
The guys are doing better, and we’re trying to move on past all of the losses we had recently with the attack. I’m glad and proud that you’re doing better after Eric’s passing. I miss him everyday, and I can only imagine how it must feel for you. But you’re strong, stronger than most of the soldiers here. You just hide it better.
There’s also something I’ve been hinting at for a while now in my letters. Something we have to talk about when I get back in January. I’ve been waiting a long time now to bring up my feelings for you again. It’s been awhile, but I think it’s about time to wake the sleeping dog and deal with the consequences.
Remember, no matter what happens to me, I love you. Always have, always will.
Love,
Dalton
P.S.— No, I haven’t seen the Casey Patterson movie, though one of the guys got a pirated copy off a vendor here. I’ll let you know what I think after I’ve seen it. Seems like a treat.
I couldn't stop reading the letter. I was unable to write him anymore after that, as I was completely embarrassed and flustered by his admission. I told him loud and clear years ago that I could never be his. And somehow he hadn't gotten the hint.
Yet his persistence sent a shiver down my spine. No other man had been after me for so long, had wanted me so much. In a way, I almost didn't believe it. I was just some bottom heavy, hometown girl.
How could I be so insane and reject his love? My heart was heavy with the thought.
As I sat alone in my room, trying to will myself off the bed and away from the letter, I realized that what I had almost said to Dalton earlier wasn't a fluke. It was true.
"I love him," I muttered to myself, my hands flying to my mouth as I shocked myself with the admission. I knew it was true though. I felt it when I thought of his face; how he did things with that stern serenity that made him seem at once peaceful and brutal.
I had known him my whole life. I had seen him go from a shy, observant child to a man rippling with muscle and confidence. He had always protected me growing up, from neighborhood bullies, from my brother when we got too rough.
Could he protect me now that my father was losing his sanity?
I thought back to what my father said with such strong conviction, that he could turn into a lion, and a lump formed in my throat. Maybe it was time I faced the music and accepted that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't protect myself from the inevitability of fate.
My phone buzzed on my bed, and I looked over to see a text from Dalton on his brother's phone (he didn't see a point in getting his own until he was home for good).
“Are you ready to go?”
The formal spelling of his text message put a smile to my lips, erasing my sadness momentarily. He was the type to silently scoff my intentional abbreviations, and spend way too long trying to figure out how to send an email. He was a country boy through and through.
My country boy, I thoug
ht, immediately feeling guilty. I got up from my bed to check on Shannon, who seemed to keep delaying the outing indefinitely.
“Shannon?” I called out as I entered the hall. I lightly knocked on her bedroom door.
“Come in,” she said weakly. Alarmed by her tone, I opened the door to poke my head in. She was curled up on her bed, mascara streaking down her face.
“Honey,” I gasped, running over to wrap an arm around her shoulder. “What's wrong?”
Her Shifter Soldier (BBW Erotic Romance) Page 2
