An Imperfect Circle

by R. J. Sable

  “Because you do look nice,” I laugh, happy because she looks happy. “Is that the first time he’s complimented you?” I don’t like the idea that he’s only showing an interest now that she’s dressed differently. Becky deserves somebody who likes what’s inside.

  Becky’s blush returns. “Um, well… not really, I mean. I’m not sure. He’s my partner in English but we mostly talk about the books. He really likes crime and that’s not really my thing. I prefer the classics and he usually laughs at me when I took about Mr Darcy or-”

  “Compliments, Blossom,” I laugh again because her rambling is endearing.

  “Oh, yeah,” she grins bashfully. “He sort of said my hair was red once. I’m not sure if that’s a compliment. He said I smelt like flowers too but I was wearing my perfume for the first time and he could have just been commenting.”

  I cock my head at her because it’s kind of adorable that she can’t tell he was trying to chat her up.

  “Do you like him?” I ask even though it’s obvious she does.

  She nods with the continuing blush on her cheeks. “He’s really clever and funny and he plays the drums and he has a band and-” she realises she’s rambling again and bites her lip, smiling bashfully.

  “Do you like him?” She returns my question hopefully.

  “I don’t really know him,” I shrug. Becky’s brow falls slightly and her shoulder slump. “But he’s in my business studies class. I can try and get to know him a bit if you like?”

  She brightens up and nods enthusiastically. “Awesome sauce.”

  I make an extra effort to talk to Rob in my Business Studies class but I think he’s kind of scared of me because it’s like pulling teeth. I sneak a peek at the essay he’s written for homework and it’s good. Really good. I figure he must be a bright guy and that’s something in the plus column. I haven’t caught his eyes anywhere except the desk or my face either so that’s another one.

  I think I’ll have to wait to make a judgement on Rob. If he is interested in Becky, and I’m fairly sure he is, then he better be prepared for battle. Blossom is special and she deserves no less than perfect in a boyfriend.

  Blossom is meant to be meeting me by the school entrance to walk to the library together after school. I’m hoping we won’t be bumping into any Carters this time. I’m almost there when Matt calls out my name.

  I grit my teeth and turn around to face him, prepared for an argument.

  “I’ve decided I like you, demongirl,” he informs me.

  “Lucky me,” I drawl, raising an eyebrow at him.

  “Lucky indeed,” he grins. “I’m fucking awesome.” He’s boasting and he’s pulling it off because I can tell he almost believes it but I still have that feeling he’s hiding the little boy I once knew. I wonder if it’s as obvious to everyone that this guy has some mega demons. Maybe you have to have your own demons to be able to see somebody else’s.

  “Sure.” I roll my eyes.

  There’s a short silence where we both study each other, probably comparing our demons. “How come you didn’t tell anyone?” He asks, lowering his voice

  “Tell anyone what?” I reply with a feigned look of puzzlement.

  “You know what,” he glares. “He’s my best friend. I know.”

  “Well whatever you know is between you and your BFF. It has nothing to do with me and I’d like to keep it that way,” I shrug, hitching my bag up. “See you tomorrow,” I chuck over my shoulder as I leave the room to meet Becky.

  I don’t want him to like me. I was quite happy with him hating me because I need him and his friend to stay away from me. I’m on my way to a good place in my life and Karl and his stupid biceps, chin cleft, and bright blue eyes are a big threat to that.

  A huge threat.

  Chapter 11

  The next day drags a bit. Ian’s attempt to get Shelly and her mindless drones to back off sort of backfired. It’s positive in that they’ve stopped calling Becky gay but instead they’re just being generally aggressive to me.

  I can handle it, they’re just words, but it’s tiresome and I’ve already exhausted my Wagon Wheel stash. My next lesson is D&T and I can’t wait, partly because working with my hands is always relaxing but also because I’m one of only two girls in the class.

  I saw Karl and Ian in the library again last night and I know they saw me come in but I made sure me and Becky took a table at the far end of the room where we couldn’t see them. I’m hoping neither Karl nor Matt will be too talkative for the next hour because I’m just not in the mood to deal with either of them.

  I start work on my birdhouse as soon as I’m in the classroom. Mr Evans pretty much lets us do our own thing as long as we’re working on what we should be and not doing anything stupid or dangerous.

  I lose myself in the grain of the wood as I carve out the ivy leaf design that will form the roof of the structure. The leaves weave in and out of a circle surrounding a small family of birds.

  “That’s excellent work,” Mr Evans appears over my shoulder, taking the piece I’ve already finished to inspect it.

  I grunt in acknowledgment but my hands never stop working.

  “When I saw your design, I must say, I was sceptical but this… this is really very good. You’re very talented, Miss Belrose.” He hands me back the piece and I continue working as if nothing has happened.

  It’s not until I feel the spark on my hand that I look up. My eyes meet Karl’s. He’s stood right in front of me with the gentlest touch of his finger still resting on my hand.

  “Belrose,” he whispers.

  I frown at him before realisation dawns and I snatch my hand away.

  “What about it?” I growl, but I know. I know he’s finally sure about who I am.

  “Elise Belrose,” he comes closer and I find myself backing up against the wooden table.

  “I prefer Ellie,” I grit, preparing myself for the awkwardness that is coming by pretending it’s not and starting to work on my ivy leaves again.

  “Do you remember me?” He asks, pulling my hand away from my work and holding it in his.

  I hate that I notice how warm his hands are, and how they encapsulate mine completely. It’s just my body remembering the friendship we used to have. Mourning it.

  “You’re Karl Carter,” I shrug, pulling my hand away.

  The hum of static electricity disappears immediately and I tell myself that I don’t miss it. I don’t.

  I need to look into how to avoid static shocks. Those things will kill me.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” He sounds hurt and angry and I can’t figure out why. He doesn’t touch me this time, he just boxes me in with one arm on either side of me.

  “Why would I?” I retort, crossing my arms over my chest because he’s too close and I need the distance. I can feel his breath on my face and it smells of cinnamon.

  “Elise,” he whispers, his eyes rapidly scanning my face as if he’s not sure what he’s seeing.

  “Back off or I swear to god I will kick you,” I warn. I’m not joking. I’ll do it.

  “Elise,” he repeats, his voice is almost pleading and I don’t understand the wounded expression on his face.

  “I said. My. Name. Is. Ellie,” I grit out, readying my foot to make good on my promise.

  “Back to work, Mr Carter,” Mr Evans calls out and I’ve never been more grateful for a teacher.

  Karl’s eyes rest on me for a beat longer before he growls and returns to his workstation.

  My heart’s beating fast in my chest and I can still feel the lingering effect of his touch on my hand. It’s all out there now. He knows. Soon, he’ll remember why he ditched me in the first place and he can stay the hell away.

  “What’s wrong?” Matt asks me after a few minutes. If I didn’t know better, I’d think that was genuine concern on his face.

  “Nothing,” I snap back.

  “Jesus, alright,” he smirks. “Didn’t realise it was that time of the month.”


  My response is to throw a scrap of wood at him which – much to my frustration – completely misses.

  “Come on, demongirl. That was a rubbish throw,” Matt goads with a wink.

  I find myself smiling back despite the fact that I’m annoyed. My smile fades somewhat when I see Karl glaring over at both of us. I would have missed it except for the fact that the atmosphere in the room is changing. It’s the way pressure builds up when the sky turns grey with the threat of thunder and lightning; a heavy, dangerous shimmer of electricity that dances in the air.

  It’s a relief to get out of the room when the bell goes and I dart out of there as soon as my station is clear. I don’t want to give Karl a chance to say anything else. I don’t know what it is he wants to say. If he wants to tell me how broken I am, then it’ll just break me even more. If he wants to apologise, then it’s too little too late.

  Becky Blossom must sense that something’s wrong with her powerpuff magic because I’m engulfed in one of her cuddles as soon as she sees me. I hug her back with everything I’ve got and take a deep breath.

  Have I mentioned that I love this girl?

  “You okay?” She asks timidly.

  “He remembers me,” I tell her dejectedly.

  “Oh,” she frowns. “Is that a bad thing, then?”

  “I’m not sure. Depends what he does with the information.”

  “I see,” Becky frowns, taking my hand so we can walk to the library. “Want to have a cuppa in the staff room before we study?”

  I look at her contemplatively.

  “I have Wagon Wheels,” she grins, sealing the deal. She knows I love those round disks of yumminess.

  My steps are lighter as we leave the school grounds behind us, along with its spiteful girls and the testosterone-overloaded boys. I’m looking forward to the quiet serenity of the library and a nice cuppa with Becky Blossom.

  Half way to our destination, my peaceful escape is threatened by – surprise, surprise – the Carter brothers.

  They’re really starting to get on my nerves.

  A group of them and their friends have gathered around Karl and Ian in the centre. They appear to be in the middle of a screaming match.

  “I’m only going to warn you one more time, Karl,” Ian levels his younger brother with a menacing stare.

  “Fuck you,” Karl shouts, at which point Ian punches him in the stomach. His stomach appears fairly firm, but it still had to hurt. It seems to be what Karl was waiting for though because he barely even reacts, taking the opportunity to launch himself at his brother.

  The gathered crowd is shouting and cheering them on; only Matt and the twins step in to try and pull them apart. They don’t seem to be having much luck as the brothers continue beating the living daylights out of one another.

  I feel Becky’s discomfort and it matches my own. I don’t particularly enjoy watching two brothers beat on each other, especially because I know how close they usually are.

  “It’s okay, they’ll be fine,” Rob says to Becky, approaching us from the side.

  “They look like they’re going to kill each other,” Becky cries in horror.

  “They won’t,” Rob grins, nodding his head in their direction as the twins finally manage to pull Ian off of his perch on top of Karl.

  They both look about ready to murder one another with their fists balled tightly and chests heaving. They seem to have been kind enough to avoid each other’s faces because I can’t see any obvious bleeding or bruising.

  “Enough,” Matt snarls, pushing Karl back again. “Save it for the mats, mate.”

  “You should have fucking told me, E,” Karl ignores his friend and continues glaring at Ian.

  “Guys, come on,” one of the twins urges, glancing around uncomfortably. “Do this at home.”

  Ian takes a deep breath and relaxes, his lips pulling up into that trademark smirk. “Home,” he nods, approaching Karl. He leans forwards and whispers something in Karl’s ear.

  I watch as Karl grimaces and his jaw clenches even further. His eyes meet mine for a fraction of a second before he shrugs Matt off of him.

  “About time,” Ian winks at me as he passes and I’m left there gawking at their backs.

  Were they seriously fighting because of me? The thought makes my stomach turn. I hate the idea that by keeping my secret, I caused two brothers to fight. If I look at the bigger picture, I know that I lied through omission. I hate lies. I groan inwardly as I realise that I owe yet another Carter yet another apology.

  Over the next week, Karl tries to talk to me at every opportunity but I rebuff him like a pro. I’ve got all of the girls’ bathrooms around the school memorised because I know he can’t follow me in.

  I’ve had to threaten his manhood a few times but he isn’t backing off. By Friday, I’m mentally and physically exhausted from avoiding him. Lunch break is the worst because I’m not going to hide away with Becky, especially when she spends her lunch breaks exchanging shy looks with Rob. I refuse to take that away from her so I’ve been sitting there with her and dodging Karl by scowling at him when he approaches and stuffing my mouth with Wagon Wheels whenever he ignores my scowls. On the odd occasion he’s been stubborn enough to try anyway, I’ve aimed heavy objects at his gonads.

  I need him to leave me alone.

  “Hi, Becky,” Rob slides into the seat beside her at our usual table in the common room.

  Becky’s forkful of salad stops halfway to her wide-open mouth as she freezes.

  “Hi, Rob,” I interject because Becky seems incapable of answering.

  “Oh, yeah, um… hi, Ellie,” Rob mumbles.

  I’m not stupid, I know he’s not here to see me but it’s funny watching him squirm.

  “Hi,” Becky answers timidly, a secret smile on her lips.

  “Have you done the English homework?” Rob prompts and I turn my brain off and start fishing in my bag for another Wagon Wheel. I don’t want to eavesdrop on their private conversation.

  This is big for Becky. Rob hasn’t actually come over to talk to her properly yet, just stared longingly across the room.

  “Do you eat anything other than Wagon Wheels?” Karl’s voice grunts as my delicious circle of yumminess is snatched out of my grasp.

  There’s amusement in his bright blue eyes as he holds my Wagon Wheel in his hand. He’s wearing black jeans and they rest on his hipbones and crumple around his Vans skate shoes. I can see the red edge of his boxer shorts and I scowl in their general direction.

  I don’t want to see that. I don’t.

  His long-sleeved cotton jumper is like a second skin over his body and it looks like I was right about his stomach being firm. I can’t tell if he’s got muscle but he definitely doesn’t have any fat.

  “My eyes are up here,” Karl says with mock offense.

  “Your underwear is showing,” I snap, immediately hating myself for responding to him but the irritating gerbil is holding my Wagon Wheel hostage.

  “Is it?” He smirks, lifting up the bottom of his shirt as if he can’t see his underwear without seeing his stomach. His toned stomach. With its dark treasure trail that leads straight into those red boxers, which I swear I can see more of now.

  “So they are,” he grins, letting his shirt drop down. “And you’re talking to me now.”

  “No. Just give me back my Wagon Wheel,” I bite back.

  “Not until we’ve had a little chat,” he winks, sitting down in the chair next to me and slipping my Wagon Wheel into his pocket.

  I see Ian sit down opposite me with a couple of girls still looking over at him from their stereo thrones. They look like they’re not sure what to make of three of the hottest guys sitting with me and Becky. Well, fudge them. I don’t care what they think.

  “Give it back, Karl,” I growl. I need that Wagon Wheel.

  “After our chat, Elise,” he smirks.

  “I don’t want to talk to you. Give it back or I’ll make you pay,” I warn seriously.


  “Ooh, I’m terrified,” he drawls sarcastically. “You may have noticed, sweetheart, we aren’t the same size. You aren’t a threat to me.”

  “Don’t. Call. Me. Sweetheart,” I spit out with some serious venom. I hate that nickname. It’s what my mum’s ex called me and he should know that.

  That word makes me want to vomit.

  I watch as some of the cockiness disappears from his face and he looks vulnerable for a split second but he quickly recovers and smirks again.

  “We used to be friends, Ellie. We could be friends again. Good friends,” he grins.

  “I don’t want to be friends or anything else with you!” I shout. I’m aware that I’m drawing attention but I need out of this situation. Now.

  “Give me back my fudging Wagon Wheel and leave me alone!”

  He pulls the Wagon Wheel out of his pocket and waves it at me, just slightly out of my reach. “Fudging?” He raises one eyebrow at me and I can tell he’s laughing at me.

  “Swearing is for filthy numbnuts who don’t know any better,” I grind, making a grab for my Wagon Wheel and missing, much to my frustration.

  “I see,” he smirks. “I knew there was a reason dad liked you.”

  I hear Ian laugh from the other side of the table but my attention is focussed solely on my round treat.

  “I don’t get why you’re being like this, Ellie,” Karl frowns. “Doesn’t our history mean anything to you?”

  “It did.” Until you threw it all away.

  “What changed?” He frowns.

  I don’t answer. Instead I aim for the nipple I can see thanks to his tight shirt and twist it brutally. I gave him several warnings; he had plenty of chances to make the right move but he didn’t.

  He grunts in agony and brings his hands up to rescue his man-nipple. I take the opportunity to snatch my Wagon Wheel away and I’m out of my chair in a matter of seconds.

  Chapter 12

  I need air, peace and quiet, and a few minutes to regain my composure. Becky seemed fine chatting with Rob so I don’t feel bad about leaving her. I hope she’s not offended but I need to calm down before I do something stupid and get myself expelled again. It occurs to me that if Karl reports me, then that might just happen.