by Garrett Cook
“Why did you do that? Why the fuck would you do that to my brother?”
“Because I like you better.”
He was solemn and I could tell he really meant it. With another gesture, he extended the gilded road again and trembling, hesitating, we began to make our way to Archelon Ranch. I could smell perfume, I got visions of perfect maidens, I could hear waves crash and felt the warm guidance of the primordial sea turtles. There was a set of gates just ahead, just ahead and we’d be fine.
But it didn’t last long. A mob dressed in white togas had formed. The selves from the Sad House were only part of the crowd that fell upon him like angry suburbanites. I didn’t know these people, but the look on Garrett Cook’s face registered only fear and not surprise. That’s when I figured out who they were. There was his girlfriend, his schoolyard companions, his family, college buddies, faceless people he knew from the internet, fellow writers, his publisher. They each had a knife in their hand but weren’t shy about using their teeth on him. There were calls of et tu, et tu, et tu…
He had no limbs when they were done, no eyes, face or organs, only an assortment of scattered gnawed, slashed and shattered parts. The poor son-of-a-bitch. He had sought to make a paradise, had tried to be fair to everyone but he just couldn’t. He couldn’t even trust himself. I stopped hating him and started pitying him, knowing that the injustice and cruelty wasn’t just for us.
I got down on my hands and knees and began to gather every piece I could. I could feel him coming back together as I did. The traitors, confused at what they’d done joined me in this anatomical dig and they were admirable. I wept at how his girlfriend treasured his heart. Someday, someday. Archelon Ranch is calling me. Someday, we’ll try again and we’ll get there and you’ll stay whole, I promise.
About the author
Garrett Cook is 27. For now. Who knows what will happen in the future? He lives in the Northwest Suburbs of Illinois with his girlfriend of five years. They hope to own property together someday, so tell everybody you know about this book, even people that you don´t think will like it very much. He is a member of the Bizarro fiction movement and is the winner of the First Annual Ultimate Bizarro Showdown. His books Murderland Part 1: H8 and Murderland Part 2: Life During Wartime have been published by hacker warlord Emperor Needle and his Evil Nerd Empire. He works for them as Sanitizer Overlord, which is every bit as awesome as it sounds. He still feels deeply connected to his past, but would rather it leave him alone. He is prone to strange fancies and dark moods. He is paranoid and a worrier. He is virtually unemployable, but he tries, dammit. He is happy sometimes, he is sad sometimes, he is human all of the time, more so than anything else, so don´t judge him as harshly as he does or as Clyde does.
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Table of Contents
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