by Mary Moore
Fern, feeling oddly lightheaded, giggled, 'If that was my intention, I've failed miserably.'
Brett bent down and caught her hands and pulled her not too gently to her feet. Had he always been that tall? And were his eyes always such a deep blue?
She didn't have much time for detached speculation, because Brett was kissing her as she'd never been kissed before. She felt weak with love for him, yet in the midst of the sweetness of his kiss, the memory came slicing through her of the disappointment and bitterness of seeing him kissing Lisa this morning.
She jerked free of his arms. 'Keep your kisses for Lisa, she might enjoy them -I don't!' She marched angrily along the beaten track beneath the willows.
Brett followed and waited until she had picked up her wrap and drawn it around her. 'You're a liar, Fern Fraser, if you say you didn't enjoy that kiss.'
'Then I'm a liar ... who cares? Who do you think you are? Alexander the Great? This morning I intended to hand your ring back, but I can't even do that, because Uncle Haraish laid it on me ... he could die happy, knowing that you and I were going to be married. So there you have it -unless you want to hurt him badly, you're stuck with me, and I'm stuck with you while he's alive. I don't think it will be long, so you can consider yourself free to make any arrangements you like for afterwards, but in the meantime I expect you to keep up your side of the bargain, and I'll keep wearing your ring.'
Brett's expression was unreadable. 'So it was only moon-magic last night, Fern?'
Fern would not meet his eyes, so looked away and shrugged her shoulders. He could make what he liked of that gesture. She only wished he would go away and leave her alone.
He tried again. 'Kirsty seemed to think you were upset by Lisa's arrival. Is that true?'
Fern was fighting her instinct to lash out at him and hurt him as she had been hurt, but she knew that if she was going to carry on here she had to pretend indifference. 'Kirsty was upset. Perhaps you misunderstood her.'
Brett watched her thoughtfully. 'No, I don't think I misunderstood her. What do you think of Lisa?'
This Fern could handle. 'I think she's very beautiful, also she's lonely and looking for someone to lean on. I'm sure sfie would make you an excellent wife.'
'Don't I have any say in the matter?' Brett spoke in a quiet voice. 'Lisa is a sweet girl, but I might not like to choose her for my wife. I might prefer an ill-tempered shrew like yourself .'
'That would be your hard cheese.'
'Okay. We'll leave it for now. I'm glad Lisa didn't upset you, and I'm glad to have your full approval to fire ahead with her. Most other girls wouldn't be so generous as to keep wearing my ring while I was taking another girl out and enjoying her kisses. I thought we might have had something going for us, but I must have been mistaken. I mean, if there was I wouldn't want to kiss Lisa, and if you cared for me, you wouldn't be encouraging me to marry Lisa.'
Fern smiled at him; the only sign she gave that his remarks hurt her was that her brown eyes darkened, but then the smile did not reach her eyes. 'You're so right. I'm pleased you're being so sensible. Now having settled everything I wish you'd take yourself off and let me have my lunch.'
'Right, I'll do that. We're still friends, I hope, and you won't hesitate to ask me for anything you need?'
Fern was about to say that there was nothing she wanted, when she remembered the vindictive look in Lisa's eyes as she spoke to Robbie this morning. 'Yes, there is something. Lisa said something about using her influence with you to get Robbie fired. I hope you wouldn't give him his marching orders just on her say-so? Robbie was rude, but there were extenuating circumstances.'
'I give you my word that Lisa will have nothing to do with Robbie staying or leaving. If I sack Robbie it will be because he can't do his work efficiently, and you have to admit that gives me plenty of leeway.'
'Thanks.' Fern sat down and opened her lunch box.
'Robbie seems to have gained our friendship and your loyalty. So if you want his stay to be prolonged, and not abruptly terminated, you can give him a message from me.'
Fern paused in the act of choosing a sandwich, and looked up at Brett apprehensively.
'Just warn him that if I ever hear him referring to me as Brett baby just once, they'll carry him off the farm on a stretcher.'
Fern could have sworn he was laughing as he went up the track. He reached the top and turned to give her a cheerful wave, then disappeared from view.
He didn't like being called 'Brett baby'. It seemed to Fern that she had made a startling discovery. It was so funny, so hilariously funny that she started to laugh and couldn't stop. If there was a touch of hysteria in her laughter it did not worry her, it was much better to laugh than to cry.
The week between Christmas and New Year was not easy for Fern. She avoided meeting Brett and Lisa most of the time. But, of course, Brett came in for meals. In a way Mr. Alexander's health helped her, because he appeared to have shaken off the weakness that had been plaguing him over the past month, and with his new energy wanted Fern to take him driving each afternoon. Kirsty and Brett were overjoyed with his sudden improvement, but Fern kept her own thoughts to herself; she had seen this stage all too often during her years of nursing.
One day when Fern and Mr. Alexander returned from visiting an old friend up the Valley, they entered the lounge to find Brett and Lisa and the children having afternoon tea with Kirsty.
Fern greeted them smiling as if it were an everyday occurrence, but in her heart she felt as if the enemy had invaded her sanctuary. It was fortunate that the children were present, because they were a safe topic of conversation. Sally and Simon had treated the place as Liberty Hall from the day they arrived, so were quite sure of their welcome. It had amused Fern from the first day when 'Me Jack' had presented himself at the door, a reluctant, terrified Sally trailing him, the way they had walked into Kirsty's heart. Even when she spoke to them sharply, they would stand watching her, showing no fear, somehow knowing that under that severe exterior she was as soft as butter towards children. 'Me Jack' was sprawled on Kirsty's knee half asleep, but Sally quickly crossed the room to take Mr. Alexander's hand and lead him to his special chair, and after a struggle removed his shoes and replaced them with slippers.
Lisa was all smiles. 'Mr. Alexander, you've quite stolen my daughter's heart, your name is never off her lips. I'd like to thank you and Kirsty for being so kind to them, but if they're a nuisance to you please let me know.'
Mr. Alexander accepted his cup of tea from Fern. 'Don't worry about them being a trouble to us, Mrs. Tremaine , Fern usually takes care of them when they're here.'
Fern sat down and drank her tea as quickly as politeness would allow. When she stood up Kirsty said, 'Oh, Fern, would you see if Mrs. Tremaine would like a second cup?'
Lisa refused, but Fern saw that Brett was annoyed about something and guessed it was because his uncle and Kirsty insisted on calling Lisa Mrs. Tremaine .
Brett said flatly, 'I've invited Lisa and the children over to dinner tomorrow night.'
'That will be very nice,' Kirsty said courteously but with no warmth in her voice. 'Tomorrow night is New Year's Eve. I thought you and Fern would be going into Hokitika to the fireworks display and see the New Year in at the clock tower.'
Brett frowned. 'I'd forgotten the date, but Fern isn't very keen on local events, so it doesn't matter. She wouldn't come to the Boxing Day sports.'
Fern broke in, 'If you'll excuse me, please, I'll go and change. I promised Robbie I'd help Ross with the cows tonight.'
Brett looked at her sharply, then in a sarcastic voice, 'I'm lucky that you and Robbie are running the farm for me. There's no need for me to run out a work schedule, but it would have been quite in order for one of you to have let me know your arrangements. I'll have a few words to say to Robbie tomorrow.'
Fern was completely taken aback, and her face flushed, 'You'd better have your few words with me, because Robbie didn't ask me, I offered. We
did ask Ross, and he said it would be quite all right. We couldn't ask you for the simple reason that you were away riding with Lisa, and by the time you returned late for lunch, Robbie had left, and I was out driving with Uncle Hamish. Now, if you'll excuse me?'
Fern left the room with her head high. How dared he bawl her out in front of Lisa? She changed quickly and went over to join Ross.
When the milking was nearly finished, Ross pointed up at the gate. 'There's the boss. I'd better go and see what he wants.'
Fern never looked up, but carried on working.
Ross came back. 'He wants a word with you, Fern.'
'You can tell him from me that he can drop dead. And tell him he's not my boss.'
Ross grinned, 'How about that? You're a proper little fire-eater. But you can deliver your own messages. Did you two have a bust-up?'
'You might call it that.'
'Hey! You didn't fall out because of Lisa? The wife was saying that she was sure Lisa would split you two, but I said you wouldn't be that silly.'
‘I'm not that silly,' Fern replied furiously. 'And as for Alexander the Great, he can wait up there till I'm finished.'
Brett had disappeared by the time Fern finished, which did not improve her temper. She went home and rang Jane Hamilton.
'Hi, Jane. Fern here. Could I by any chance invite myself to dinner at your place tomorrow night?'
'You're welcome any time. They tell me via the grapevine that you've got a cuckoo in the nest. True or false?'
'A bit of each. Actually I don't think you would call her a cuckoo, I think she has probably more right to be here than I do. Still, she doesn't grab me, if you get my meaning, and she's dining here tomorrow night, I thought I'd get me a bolthole .'
'Whatever the reason, you're invited. Say, if you and Brett aren't going out how about joining up with our gang for a night on the town, unless Brett would be mad, that is? Darcy's girl friend is in hospital, and he needs cheering up.'
'Sounds wild. Count me in. See you about six then. 'Bye.' Fern hung the phone on the hook with a satisfied grin.
After a shower she dressed for dinner, and joined Kirsty in the kitchen. 'Kirsty, you don't mind if I'm not here for dinner on New Year's Eve? I've been invited over to the Hamiltons ', and will be going to town with Jane and her cousins.'
'I'm not the one who should be objecting, Fern.'
'Oh, you mean Brett? He's hardly in a position to criticize what I do. If you want me to stay and help at dinner just say so. I'll set the table now.'
Kirsty looked up from carving the meat. 'I'm thinking that's a strange suggestion. You'll stay if I ask you, but not if Brett asked you.'
Fern, busy getting the silver out to set the table, did not answer.
On her next trip back to the cupboard Kirsty spoke again. 'I can manage quite well without you, so away you go and enjoy yourself...'
'Enjoy yourself where?' Brett asked as he came in.
Fern did not speak, so Kirsty explained, 'Fern is having dinner with the Hamiltons , and then going to town with them on New Year's Eve.'
'Is she now? Tell me, Kirsty, if I have five minutes with Fern alone, now, would it ruin the dinner?'
Kirsty replied with a smile, 'You can have a quarter of an hour if you like. If you're longer than that Hamish and I will start without you.'
'Right. Fern, put those things down and come outside with me. I want to talk to you, and I don't want to be interrupted.'
Fern's eyes flashed fire. 'That's what I like about you - no invitation, just an order. Well, you may not be hungry, but I am. So go outside and talk to yourself.'
'Please, will you come, Fern? I don't seem to have seen you at all this past few days.'
'And whose fault is that? No, I'm not coming.'
Brett moved towards her. 'I've said please and you still refuse. I'll give you two seconds, and then I'm going to pick you up and carry you. Make your choice.'
'You wouldn't dare!’ But she knew he would, so she placed the tray down on the table and stalked ahead of him out the front door. She stopped on the steps. 'Is this a stand-up or a sit-down fight?'
'We'll go and sit on the bench in front of the garage,' Brett answered, completely unruffled, and he led the way there. He sat down. 'Have a seat, Fern.'
Fern moved to the opposite end of the bench, and sat down in angry silence.
Brett mocked her gently, 'Something has come between us, Fern ... say six feet of wooden bench.'
Fern sat woodenly staring straight ahead.
'Listen, Fern. I want to apologize for speaking to you as I did in the lounge today. I went over to the shed to do so, but you wouldn't speak to me. Will you accept my sincere apologies?'
Fern turned to face him, 'No, I will not. That's the third time you've spoken first and regretted afterwards. Twice I've said forget it, but this time I will neither forget nor forgive. You think I'm such a softie that you can say what you like, when you like, and then say "I'm sorry". What you did today was unforgivable - in front of Kirsty and Mr. Alexander too. Before, you saved your most unpleasant remarks for my ears alone.'
'Not to mention in front of Lisa?' Brett remarked.
'Humph! Who cares what you say in front of her? I'm completely indifferent to her opinion of me. But I do not like to be put down in front of Kirsty and your uncle. I care very much what they think of me.'
Brett sighed. 'Their good opinion of you hasn't been tarnished, believe me. I know what I'm talking about. They let me know exactly what they thought of my rudeness to a guest of the house, not to mention my fiancée. As Lisa was there I could hardly point out that their "Frosty Friday" treatment of an old friend was also bad manners, but I was annoyed.'
'That's the understatement of the year,' Fern retorted angrily. 'I wasn't in that room long before I saw you were seething because they called her Mrs. Tremaine . And that is her name, so I don't know why you got so uptight about it. The only reason you bawled me out was that you were fuming because they didn't roll out the red carpet for your Lisa. In my opinion they were courteous and polite, and I'm damned if you could have expected more in the circumstances. You were more clumsy than I could have believed possible ... ramming her down their throats like that, even allowing for the fact that you're infatuated by her.'
'What do you mean "under the circumstances"? Lisa was almost part of the family when she lived here years ago, so I naturally thought they'd be as pleased to see her as I was.' He glared at Fern.
Fern laughed, ' You're out of sight, really how could you be so dumb? I'll give you an example . .. I've been here a couple of months and they've treated me as if I belonged here Say I left suddenly taking something they value very much with me? Knowing them I doubt if they would set the police on me, but I wouldn't expect to walk back in here a couple of years later and expect to be treated to a warm, friendly welcome.'
'Lisa never took anything that they valued,' Brett protested.
'You've got to be joking! It must have escaped your notice that they love you very dearly, and if someone hurts you, it hurts them too. They blame Lisa for all the years of happiness you could have had, that's what she stole from them. If you'd married Lisa when you came home they would have had the pleasure of seeing you happily married, and more than likely enjoyed watching your family grow up. There's nothing of value in the house that I could take to equal that loss.'
There was a long silence then Brett spoke again. 'I didn't think of it from that angle. I thought because I could forget the past and treat her as a friend that they could naturally do the same. What's that jab about me being infatuated with her?'
'Sorry, that was a bit nasty. You're in love with her, I guess. If you were any sort of a man, you'd tell them and I'm sure they would be quite happy about it. It's just because they think we're serious that they think Lisa is going to mess up your life again. If you told them the truth, that Lisa is the only girl you want, and I gave you back your ring, I'm sure they'd understand. Why, you're half there.
They love those kids already.'
'What about you? Wouldn't it upset you if we broke our engagement? I mean, you'd want to leave, and Uncle Hamish wouldn't like that.'
'Why should I be upset?' Fern stared ahead at Kirsty's rose garden, not daring to face Brett. 'I wouldn't have any right to be upset. I've known all along that our engagement is just a game. As for leaving, once you'd explained to Uncle Hamish that I couldn't care less who you married, I think I'd like to stay on, if he wanted that.'
Brett was silent for so long that Fern looked at him. Then he said, 'If you don't object I'll leave things as they are in the meantime. You could be right, but from what Uncle Hamish has said to me, I doubt that he'd be any too pleased if we told him we'd been fooling him all along. I think you'll have to leave it to my judgement '
Fern felt like a man reprieved from the noose. Even though it hurt to carry on this fake engagement, it would have hurt her a lot more if he had agreed to dropping her for Lisa. But in all honesty she had had to make the offer.
'Right. Whatever you say.' She stood up.
'We haven't finished yet. Why are you going out tomorrow night? Is it because I invited Lisa over? Why wouldn't you go to the sports with me, and yet you'll go with that Hamilton mob tomorrow night?'
Fern, who had been feeling sympathetic towards him, immediately changed back to being furious. 'One, you didn't ask me to go to the sports with you, you announced in front of Lisa that you were taking me. When she wanted to go, I naturally stayed home. Two, I'm not in love with Lisa, and I doubt that she would even miss me tomorrow night. Three, I'm going out on the town with Jane because, Brett baby, I want to live it up on New Year's Eve. If you think entertaining Lisa is all you want, well, go to it, but don't expect me to think it's the social event of the year!'
Brett stood up and looked down at her. 'So I made a blue, but I would like you to accompany me to the New Year's dance at Kokatahi the night after that. Everyone goes, and I think you'd enjoy it.'
