“I’m not Tessa.” Marissa blurted out exactly what she had been thinking.
He didn’t even flinch. “I didn’t say you were.”
She sat up, dragging the sheet along with her and holding it against her breasts. “I wouldn’t drag you away from Kauai.”
“I wouldn’t let you.”
He refused to bend even a little. He was forcing her to do all of the hard work, to put her heart out there without any promise that he would take care of it or return her feelings.
So, she asked the one question where she dreaded the answer. “Do you want me to leave?”
“Your vacation is over.”
The sentence tore into her with the strength of a knife. She never knew words could hurt that much. “There are other flights. I could leave later.”
Or never. The unspoken words hung in the air. She knew he understood what she was saying. She could see it in the stark way his eyes flattened.
“You love Philadelphia. You love your job.”
“Those aren’t answers.” In a way they were, but she wasn’t ready to give up on him yet.
“Can you really see yourself here, Marissa? No snow. No cold Christmas night.”
No co-workers stalking her, less pressure, and a man who made her insides burst with happiness. Lately, a life in Kauai with him was the only future she could see. The only one she wanted.
“You really think I’ll miss the weather?” she asked
He sat up and leaned against the headboard. His broad shoulders slumped. “I think you’ll miss everything about your life there. Eventually.”
“What about us?”
“We’re inside the fantasy.” He rolled his head against the wall. “Don’t you see that this is part of the web Kauai spins. Add in Christmas and the decorations and all of the feelings that come with the holiday and you get a false picture.”
The more he spoke, the more he seemed to buy into it. “Do you really believe that crap?”
“Yes.”
She waited for him to say something else. Hoped he would. When he remained quiet, she threw off the sheet and stood up, naked and proud. Let him see what he was giving up.
“Then I guess we’re done here.” Everything inside her wanted him to beg her to stay.
He barely looked at her. “Don’t do this.”
“Leave? I thought that’s what you wanted.”
“I didn’t say that.”
Anger rose up in her belly. She went from being hurt and rejected to being pissed off that he could not meet her partway. “Then what did you say, Ted.”
He shook his head in a move so sad and lonely that it broke her heart. “I can’t ask you to stay. I won’t ask you to give up your life. That happened to me and it was a disaster.”
“I’m not Tessa.” Marissa practically screamed the words.
“You said that already.”
“I thought if I repeated it, you might believe it.”
He sighed. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“Nothing.” Marissa grabbed the blanket off the bed and wrapped it around her.
“You need your old life.”
She didn’t know which one of them he was trying to convince, but she needed him to get out before she fell to the floor in a pile. “Merry Christmas, Ted. You know the way out.”
Two hours later she had packed and checked out. Waiting for the taxi almost killed her. She stood there outside the lobby with happy families chattering about Christmas and everything they planned to do in Kauai. She saw the tree, the water. If the cab line didn’t move any faster, she was going to lose it right there.
“Marissa.”
Nicki. The one person she didn’t want to see, so she clipped that string too. “Good-bye.”
Nicki touched her hand against Marissa’s elbow in a move so reminiscent of Ted that the tears threatened to fall. Marissa pushed them back by sheer will.
“Are you really leaving?” Nicki asked.
“It’s time.”
“Can I talk to you for a second?” Nicki didn’t wait for an answer. She pulled Marissa out of line and into a private corner of the lobby.
“I need—”
“I have a proposition for you,” Nicki said before Marissa could get away.
Story of her life. The wrong Greene was making her an offer. “I need to go.”
“Work for me.”
Not at all what Marissa expected to hear. “What?”
“Be my in-house marketing and public relations person.” Nicki focused her attention on Marissa with the force of a laser beam. “I don’t need a firm. I need a person who loves Kauai and this hotel and understands what it can be.”
“You think that’s me?”
Nicki ticked off her reasons. “Your designs. The way your face lights up when you walk in the lobby. Yeah, it’s you.”
Marissa did love Kauai but that was because of Ted, not some building. “I have a job and it’s six thousand miles away.”
“I need you here.”
Something in Nicki’s tone struck Marissa as being off. The usual smooth-talking woman sounded frantic. Her green eyes showed worry and something that looked a little like fear.
“The hotel needs you,” Nicki said. “Don’t go.”
Marissa wished for the first time that she had a sibling. That someone loved her enough to step up like Nicki was doing for Ted. “Are you offering me a job to keep me near Ted? If so, you’re wasting your time. He is more than ready for me to leave.”
Nicki grabbed on to Marissa’s hands, as if willing her to understand. “I’m offering you a job because you’re damn good. But, yes, I want you to stay because I love Ted and I know he loves you.”
Marissa’s heart danced at the thought, but she knew the truth. “You are way off.”
“Am I? You know how many days he’s taken off in the last three years? Exactly three. You know how many he took off to be with you, the same number. I watched him leave this hotel earlier, Marissa. I haven’t seen that brokenhearted look on his face since we lost our parents.”
Marissa couldn’t believe. She couldn’t buy into this after sitting on that bed and watching Ted tell her in a deadpan voice that she needed something else. “He told me to go.”
“He doesn’t know how to ask you to stay. He’s not the guy who asks anyone for anything. He gave up his life to raise Aaron. He walked out on a marriage long after he should have gone because he was desperate to save it. He mourned his parents’ death in silence because he thought he had to be strong.”
Marissa’s heart broke for him. Broke for them. “I can’t do it alone, Nicki.”
“I am taking away any reason you have to leave. You have a job here. I can give you a place to stay. All I’m asking is that you stay and fight for him.”
“I have a life in Philadelphia.” One she no longer wanted and dreaded returning to.
“You could have a future here.”
Marissa had to get out of there before Nicki’s pleading wore her down. She wrapped her arms around Nicki in a big hug and whispered into her ear. “Good-bye.”
It was not until Marissa was halfway over the Pacific Ocean that her crying stopped. The poor woman sitting next to her looked ready to bolt for the nearest emergency exit. But when Marissa’s tears turned to anger, it festered. Ted thought he knew everything, but he didn’t have a clue what she needed.
The idiot.
Here she was afraid she’d end up like her mother because she depended on a man, yet she was depending on a man to make the move and ask her to stay. She had taken charge her entire life except on the most important decision ever.
She didn’t need him to ask. She would ask. She’d be stronger and the one in control.
He wanted her in Kauai. She knew that as sure as she knew anything. He was obtuse and dumb as shit because he loved her and couldn’t say it. And as soon as she got off the plane and found another one heading back to Kauai, she’d walk right up to him and tell him what
he needed. Her.
12
“Tell me again why you’re in the office on Christmas Day.” Kane sat down on the edge of Ted’s desk as he asked the question.
The answer was simple. Because the only person Ted wanted to be with was on a plane taking her thousands of miles away from him. And because he was dumb enough to let her go. He knew she was fishing back in the hotel room when she asked all of those questions. She wanted him to beg her to stay. Every part of him wanted to give in and do it, but he couldn’t force the words out. He couldn’t stop worrying about what would happen if he did and then it all went to shit.
Instead of telling Kane the truth, Ted went with the short answer. “I said I’d work.”
“You’re on call. You don’t have to be here.”
Ted couldn’t stand to be anywhere else. Marissa had never even been in his house and still he couldn’t go there for fear he would feel her. Without her everything struck him as sterile and dark. “Why are you here?”
“Because I’m in charge.”
Ted propped his feet up on his desk. “Well, you can go home. I’ll handle whatever happens.”
“Annie would kill me.”
“She doesn’t want to be with you on the holiday?”
“She doesn’t want anyone else having to work. She plans to come in a little later to keep me company.”
Now that was just about the last thing Ted wanted to see. Happy couples needed to stay out of his sight for a few days. Or forever. As it was, he had to refrain from knocking down the Christmas tree when he walked into the office.
Hell, how could he feel this way after only a few days? His chest actually ached at the thought of not seeing Marissa again. The scent of her shampoo still lingered in his head and refused to get out. The touch of her skin, their lovemaking…every memory battered him.
“This wouldn’t have anything to do with a certain hot brunette, would it?” Kane asked.
“She’s gone.”
Kane frowned. “Why the hell did you let her go?”
The same question Ted kept asking himself. He could have given her the words she wanted and put the burden on her to make the decision. Instead, he made it for her. For them. “She doesn’t belong here.”
“You get to decide that?”
“She was here for a few days, not forever.”
“Like Annie.”
Ted’s head began to spin. Between the drumming up there and the pain slicing through him from neck to gut, he didn’t know how much more he could take. “That’s different.”
“How?”
Ted had no fucking idea, but it was. It had to be or he was a bigger jackass than he thought he was for letting his woman walk out.
The harsh lines around Kane’s eyes eased. “Look, Ted. I’ve known you for a long time.”
“You’re not going to give me love-life advice, are you?”
“I’m telling you to take a few days off, get on a plane, and fly to wherever she lives to work this out.”
“I kicked her out.” It actually hurt to say the words. “I’m the one who did the walking, but I basically kicked her out.”
“Then you might want to apologize once you get to her.”
Kane was a practical man with practical advice. But nothing about this felt that neat and tidy. Ted had let nights of great sex turn into so much more. He loved Marissa. Tear-your-heart-out loved her.
Ted asked the one question that kept playing in his head. “What if she tries it here and then wants to leave?”
Kane groaned. “Damn it, Ted. What if she wants to stay? Have you thought about that?”
Could it really be that easy? Could everything he ever wanted come in a package from Philadelphia? She’d been gone for less than twenty-four hours and every single minute of that time sucked. He couldn’t eat or celebrate the holiday. His favorite time of year had all but passed and all he wanted to do was call back the last few days and relive them.
When Ted lifted his head again, Kane hadn’t moved. He was ready with a questiion. “You know you love her, right?”
Why fight it? “Yes.”
“Then don’t be an—”
The outer reception office went from quiet to pandemonium. Ted heard loud voices but couldn’t make out the problem.
“What the hell is going on? It’s too early for the New Year’s drunk and crazy patrol to start,” Kane said.
Ted dropped his feet to the floor. “I’ll go check.”
“No. You stay here and get your head out of your ass.” Kane glanced toward the outer office. “If you hear me yell, come running.”
Two seconds after Kane walked into the reception hall everything quieted down. No surprise there. The man had a natural ability to calm even the wildest person.
Ted was just grateful Kane hadn’t needed backup because he was too busy playing the game of should-I-or-shouldn’t-I with the telephone. Ted stared at it, even thought about picking it up and trying to call an airline.
Just then the door to the back offices burst open. Kane came through with a huge smile on his face and Marissa by his side. Ted blinked three times to convince himself it wasn’t a dream come to life.
He stood up nice and slow, careful not to scare the vision away. “Marissa? What are you doing here?”
“You have the gall to tell me that you think you know what I need?” She dumped her purse on the nearest desk. “You think you really know what I need? Right now I need a shovel so I can hit you with it.”
The two other officers in the large room dropped their phones and started watching Marissa. Kane just grinned like a stupid fool. “Look who I found out front. She came in and demanded to know where you live.”
“Why?” Ted asked.
“Why are you working on Christmas Day?” she shot back.
“Nothing else to do.”
“How about coming to the airport to stop me from getting on a plane? Didn’t that plan ever occur to you?”
“That was yesterday.”
“Did you ever even think about trying to stop me?” She marched right up and stopped in front of him. “I’m not Tessa.”
“You told me that already.”
“Do you believe me?”
He did. Tessa would not make this scene. She would never have made a public declaration or fought for him like this. Only Marissa would fight for him, and Ted loved it. Loved her. “You’re nothing alike.”
“Then why do you keep damning me with her actions?”
He did that. He cursed them both by assuming everyone was like Tessa. That a strong, smart woman couldn’t know what she wanted or want to find a life with him.
“It’s not that simple,” he said because he didn’t know what else to say.
“Your sister thinks you can’t ask for what you want.”
“You talked with Nicki?” The idea of the women in his life meeting and talking about him made him sweat.
“Is she right?”
“I’d answer but I think you have a response in mind.”
Marissa did. She knew what she needed Ted to say. What she wanted him to say. What he better say or she was dragging him outside and throwing him into traffic.
“What do you want, Ted?”
He didn’t hesitate this time. “You.”
That was almost too easy. Maybe she lost her hearing with all that flying back and forth between Kauai and Los Angeles. “What?”
He closed the gap between them with one step. “I want you here with me.”
She stuttered a few times before getting the words out. “What changed your mind?”
Ted glanced over her head at Kane before looking at her again. “Nothing. I wanted you from the minute I saw you. Loved you about ten seconds after that. Was desperate for you to stay but afraid to ask you to do it.”
Definitely had a jet lag problem. “I just flew back-to-back standby flights in middle seats, so let me make sure I understand you.”
“Middle seats? That’s love,” Kane mumbled.
She was too focused on the brightness shining from Ted’s green eyes to hear his friend. “Did you just say—”
Ted brushed his hands up her arms and tugged her close. “I love you, Marissa Brandt.”
She heard the words. Could see the truth right there on his face. Happiness flowed out of him. “But…”
He slipped his arms around her. “I was an idiot to let you go.”
“True.”
He kissed her. Not a peck. Not deep. Just a touch of his lips against hers in a way that made a silent promise of forever.
“I won’t make that mistake again. I will never let you walk out on me or push you away.” He leaned his forehead against hers. “Ever.”
“You said you love me.” The words kept scrambling in her brain. “You actually said the words.” The realization made her want to raise her fists toward the sky and shout in victory.
“And I’m assuming from all that nonstop flying that I might not be alone in that feeling.”
“Don’t be obtuse.” She punched his shoulder. “Of course I love you. Why else would I make an idiot out of myself not once but twice to try to tell you?”
“Well, I’m listening now.”
He was. Every part of him was open and happy. From his smile to the way his hands held on to her as if they’d never let go. She said the words. Felt them with every inch of her body. “I love you.”
He closed his eyes for a second. When he opened them again she saw wetness in the corners. Somehow, some way, she had brought this strong, silly, loving man to his knees.
And to his senses.
“I take it this means you’re not going to send me away,” she said.
“I’m going to drag you back to my house and”—he stopped and looked around at his audience—“nap.”
The love inside of her grew tenfold. She didn’t think it was possible to love him more than she did that moment but she suspected she would. Time would give her that. Give it to them. “I would love a nap.”
The officers cheered and Kane clapped. Ted and Marissa took it all in, laughing both at their private joke and from the joy of the moment.
“Some Christmas wishes do come true,” he whispered as he buried his face in her neck.
Kissing Santa Claus Page 25
