Chapter 4
Jax entered Emma’s room and immediately turned around. The hospice aide and Holiday were giving his mother a bed bath.
“Oh, cut it out,” Emma groaned. “Get your ass in here. You have already seen this hot body.”
Jax visibly blushed as he recalled the first few months of her decline. He had been forced to clean Emma up on more than one occasion. Her debility in those moments had caused him undo pain. It wasn’t her nudity that bothered him, it was seeing his mother’s decline. Her frail body now a shell of her former glory. It was even worse now, as the weight seemed to melt off her body overnight.
“Oh beautiful, you know I am not shy,” he chuckled. “I just thought you might want some privacy.”
Holiday refused to make eye contact with Jax. The man’s presence simply unnerved her and she didn’t want to lose focus during this sensitive moment. Emma was not one to allow a moment to slip.
“Jax, I raised you better, speak to these lovely ladies,” Emma insisted.
“Hello Tiffany and Holiday,” he said running a hand through his hair. The front of his hair was a bit longer than the rest. Most days it would stay put on top of his head but today it flopped down in his face. Fuck! He was beautiful! Both ladies tried not to swoon and failed miserably. Emma seemed to keep her gaze on Holiday. The penetrating stares hit Holiday from both directions and she visibly blushed. It was unnerving to have a set of deep blue eyes and intense green eyes turned on her. In an attempt to redirect the gazes, she quickly finished her part and took her leave. She left Tiffany to finish with Emma, brushing past Jax. Once again, he leveled that darkened gaze on her that made everything south of her navel clench.
“I will get the rest of your meds Emma,” Holiday squeaked as she exited the room. Tiffany finished assembling her clothes and repositioned the sickly woman in bed. She placed the call light and ice water within reach before taking her leave as well. Tiffany’s pink cheeks nearly lighting up the room as she passed Jax. He took his usual seat at Emma’s bedside.
“Why do you come every day? You know they take good care of me. You can take a few days for yourself Jax,” Emma scolded. The way she figured it was ninety percent about being with her and another ten percent of seeing Holiday. She knew her son and he had it bad for the nurse practitioner. Emma wished he would lose his demons and make a move. It pained her in such a way medication was of no help. There was no bragging, Jax saw her as his everything. Without her presence, she feared her son wouldn’t survive. His fucking demons, she wrestled with for twenty plus years, would not release her beloved son. Jax’s presence in her life had come at a crucial time. She had all but given up and then poof, he was there. He had healed her much more than she had healed him.
“I love being next to you,” he said softly. “I want to make sure I maximize every day. Do you want me to read aloud today?”
“No! It’s the college student, you know the quiet roommate that’s been killing those girls,” she said revealing the plot of the current book. Jax’s mouth dropped open with her admission. They were only a third of the way through the mystery novel and she had figured it out already. He skipped ahead to confirm and laughed loudly upon spying the page that revealed the killer.
“Dammit, Me-Me,” he retorted. “How did you figure that out?”
She revealed the clues that lead to her determining the killer. He listened with rapt attention. Moments when she was lucid and talking were his favorite. Jax’s brain tried to record each moment. He would need them when her heart beat no more. Holiday rushed in to give meds in a quick but thorough flourish. Jax couldn’t help watching her move in the white lab coat. Today she had on scrubs which meant she was working on the floor. Some days she would dress in regular business attire, with her white lab coat of course. Those were the days when she took more of an administrative role. On those days, she would stop by to visit her patients or occasionally pass meds at their request. He loved her personal attention to his mother and to the other patients.
For a few minutes, he allowed his mind to wonder. Holiday had come into the room a few weeks ago wearing a blue dress with the lab coat. He could spy long cinnamon colored legs in a pair of simple black pumps. His hand itched to run the length of her legs. Jax was pretty sure her skin would be silky smooth, he would come in his pants. The woman had no idea how much she excited him. The feelings of desire for Holiday were foreign to Jax. His usual type was blond, thin, and big breasted. Somehow this tall, shapely, African-American woman, with knock out legs had captured his libido. He needed an excuse to talk to her alone. Most days he knew the effect he had on other female staff members. It was not unusual for him to receive more than his fair share of lustful gazes. Considering they didn’t know the fucked up man that lurked behind the looks, he chose to ignore it most days. However, when Holiday looked at him, his mind scrambled. His cock fought the urge to greet her and his language skills faltered.
Right now, Me-Me was giving his hand a quick squeeze as Holiday charted on the portable computer.
“Uh! Holiday,” he stammered. She looked away tentatively from the computer screen, still clicking the mouse. Her curious expression forced a lump in his throat. She licked her lips and asked, “Yes Jax.”
“I was wondering if I could talk to you privately,” he stammered. Emma slid her eyes closed hiding the pleased smile. Jax really did want to talk to Holiday about Emma’s condition. He had been both afraid to be alone with Holiday and to hear her predictions about Emma’s longevity. They had hit the six-month mark and he feared a call every single day.
“Yeah sure, just give me one minute,” she replied. Holiday kept moving the mouse around clicking away. Jax appreciated how controlled and focused she was. He knew he unnerved her but when it came to medications and data entry, she was on her game. Errors were not a part of her vernacular.
“Emma, can I get you anything,” Holiday asked, dread creeping into her blood. Emma’s soft snores greeted her and she logged off. She left the computer just outside the door. Holiday turned to allow Jax the chance to talk.
“I was hoping we could talk somewhere a little bit more private. It’s about Me-Me, I promise,” he stammered. Jax looked away from her questioning gaze down the hallway.
“I am sorry my office is in the basement. I am sure we can find an empty room on this floor,” she replied nervously. Holiday’s brain refused to give her the layout of the floor, even though she had worked here for four years. Two of those years had been with the hospice program, the other two were in various capacities as a nurse.
“That’s fine,” he replied quickly. “Please lead the way.”
Holiday urged her legs to move and after a few deep breaths she moved towards the elevator. Everyone was hyper aware that they were getting into the elevator. Lacy, a fellow floor nurse, threw Holiday a wry smile. They were friends going back to nursing school. Holiday gave a gentle shake of her head to indicate this wasn’t for pleasure. Lacy’s frown was comical and exaggerated. Holiday couldn’t help but to chuckle a little but then stopped. Jax was all business and she felt bad finding humor in his hour of need. The truth was she had known he would ask, they all asked. Her uncanny ability to predict death scared her most days. He wanted to know how much time Emma had left. Jax was trying to prepare himself for the inevitable.
They walked away from the elevator down a narrow corridor. The basement was divided into two sections. Most of the area housed the mechanical equipment needed to run the building. It was cordoned off with two large heavy doors that required a badge to enter. The remainder of the basement was the hospice area and a huge closet for supply overflow. Most of the supplies for the facility were on the second floor as was the pharmacy. When they reached the hospice office it was pretty dark. Adelaide was gone for the day. She would be pissed to know she missed an opportunity to ogle Jax. Holiday flicked on a couple of light switches and walked towards her shared office. Inside she pulled out the chair for Jax before standing behind the d
esk.
“Give it to me straight Holiday,” he stated a gravelly quality to his voice. “How much time does Me-Me have?”
Holiday’s look of alarm at his abruptness didn’t bold well. Jax reluctantly took a seat and dropped his head in his hands.
“I am not sure I can give you the information you requested. She is declining that’s for sure but how much longer she will hold on is unknown. It is not up to me,” she indicated pointing towards the ceiling or higher power. Jax huffed, “Don’t bullshit me. I know you have an idea. I see it on your face every time you come into her room. I see the sadness and pity in those hazel eyes. Now give it to me straight. How much time does Me-Me have?”
Holiday fidgeted from foot to foot deciding against sitting in her comfortable chair. Her mouth gaped open and closed a few times.
“Weeks,” she stammered. “Possibly less.”
Jax’s shoulders rose and fell and she wasn’t sure if he was crying or not. Every part of her wanted to comfort him. She wanted to hold him in her arms and allow him to vent out his sadness and frustrations. That wouldn’t be very ethical, however she had done that for many a widow or woman. It felt unethical because of her growing attraction for Jax. Pushing her desire aside, she went to Jax.
“I am sorry,” she stated. “I know how much she means to you. I wish I could give you a better prognosis. She is tired and now that she isn’t eating or drinking much, her body will continue to rapidly decline.”
“Can we put her on tube feed or an IV?” He questioned looking up with pleading eyes.
Holiday shook her head and replied, “That would be more harmful than helpful. Her body is telling us she can’t process food right now. She isn’t burning tons of calories and therefore doesn’t need the calories. Emma’s body is shutting down, one system at a time. I am so sorry Jax.”
“But I wanted, no needed more time with her,” he whimpered. Holiday bent and wrapped both arms around his neck in an awkward hug. He stood, not breaking the hug, and softly cried on her shoulder. It felt amazingly familiar to him. The scent of lavender and strawberries provided additional comfort. His hand tenderly touched her soft hair. It was remarkably silky as he had assumed. When he lifted his head from her shoulders, a hint of redness crept into his cheeks.
“Sorry,” he hiccupped. “She saved me and I can’t save her.”
Holiday felt her heart break for the man and understood why he wanted a private area to discuss Emma’s decline. She released her hold on him and tried for a sympathetic smile.
“You know she would kick your ass for saying that. She is at peace in a way. Her only worry is you,” she replied. Jax managed a smile, knowing Emma would kick his ass if she knew he was crying right now. Holiday understood that Jax was a late addition to Emma’s life. However, that made him no less special to the woman. He was everything to her and vice versa. Holiday would miss their crazy back and forth banter.
“Yeah she would kick my ass. Thanks, Holiday,” he whispered. “For giving it to me straight. I am trying to prepare myself so that I can be strong for her.”
“I know Jax,” she replied. “You have to be strong for her but that doesn’t mean you have to be strong all the time. It’s okay to grieve.”
Jax gave a nod of his head and the once pristine hair dropped once more. He pushed the hair away from his face and gave Holiday a jaw dropping smile. Before she could quell the desire blooming in her belly, Jax was on her. His mouth was connecting to her mouth in an orchestrated symphony. His hands were now holding her waist and pulling her close. Jax’s coffee flavored tongue invaded her mouth. As the shock wore off her libido kicked in. She massaged his tongue with hers, allowing a moan to escape. He pressed against her forcing them against the desk. Even in the lab coat and scrubs, she could feel the beginnings of his erection pressed against her stomach. Jax’s mouth grew hungrier and he deepened the kiss, pinning Holiday against the desk.
Jax lifted her leg to place his growing erection against the right area. Holiday’s soft murmur of pleasure nearly made him come. He could feel the heat radiating through her scrub pants. Fuck! He wanted her now but that didn’t seem right. This was Me-Me’s nurse. They were in her office and she was comforting him. This wasn’t right. His brain was about six steps behind Holiday’s as she managed to push him away first. Jax watched her chest rise and fall rapidly. He wanted nothing more than to strip her naked and take her now. He wanted firm nipples in his mouth and to burying himself inside her wetness. He wanted her but the timing wasn’t right.
“I am sorry,” he stammered and turned to leave. Holiday’s face was a mishmash of desire and sadness. He raced out of the office to the elevator. It took several long moments for him to calm the desire flooding his veins. In an effort to calm his arousal, he removed the t-shirt tucked into his jeans. Calmly he placed interlocked hands around the general area. It took a few moments for him to go from fully erect to half-mast. Jax had to push all images and memories of her soft lips from his mind. When he returned to Me-Me’s room, he grabbed an extra blanket. On the recliner, he slept fitfully next to his mother. Holiday haunted his dreams and he awoke a few hours later fully aroused. Thankfully, the blanket prevented Tiffany, the aide, from seeing his strained erection.
When Tiffany exited the room, Emma’s groggy voice asked, “How did that meeting go? You look different son.”
“It was fine,” he stated. “We are all on the same page.”
“Somehow,” she whispered. “I don’t think we are. You are miles from here son or is it meters? How far is Holiday’s office from here?”
Jax turned to look at his mother, his eyes begging her to drop it. She held up one hand, which he took and dropped the subject. They sat quietly while he contemplated compromising his mother’s care. He was sure Holiday was going to avoid him like the plague.
Chapter 5
Holiday took nearly thirty minutes to catch her breath after Jax’s kiss. Her body screamed for more contact but recoiled at the electricity that passed between them. She didn’t like when things were intense and out of her control. He was everywhere at once and the sensations had been overwhelming. A few more minutes of that and she would have embarrassed herself by having an orgasm. His lean hard body was pressed against her in such an intimate fashion. She could tell that he was definitely no slouch in the man department. Jax’s impressive erection was pressed against her stomach and then grazing the crotch of her scrub pants. It had been so warm. He was so forceful yet tender with each kiss or flicker of his tongue.
She had no plans to return to his mother’s room today. Holiday hoped one of the floor nurses could administer medications for the remainder of the day. After regrouping and checking the hallway, she exited the hospice office to continue rounds. Holiday focused on paper work and patient care, she could contemplate the rest later at home. She had a few active patients and was sure to sit with the families. It was a sad but welcomed distraction to educate those families on what to expect next. Lost in providing care she hardly heard the announcement over the speaker system.
“Holiday to room 344,” a voice commanded over the speaker system. It was then she realized her work phone was dead. The dread was twofold, if Emma was actively dying she would be devastated. If she wasn’t but required medications or re-evaluation, then Holiday would have to face Jax too soon after that kiss. Holiday took the stairs from the first floor to the third quickly. She was relieved to see that Emma had requested her to administer meds. The relief was even better when Jax was nowhere to be found.
“Ms. Emma what number would you give your pain,” she asked.
“Eight,” she murmured. Emma’s hand shot out from under the blanket. Holiday stopped reading the computer screen and took the hand. She held on to it for a few minutes, allowing Emma to take a few deep breaths.
“I know I am like a broken record,” she whispered. “It’s just that I can’t move on without knowing. Do you have any interest in Jax?”
Holiday’s wide eyed g
aze was instant. She hadn’t been expecting the third degree from Emma.
“I know I don’t have much time left,” she explained. “Whether I want to hold on or not. I am sure that’s what you explained to Jax. He forgets I can read him like a book. He bolted out of here a while ago to nurse his hurt feelings. I need someone to look after him. Can you do that for me?”
“Ms. Emma, Jax is a grown man. I know he can look out for himself. He doesn’t need me besides my job might frown on that as unethical,” she replied. Holiday was trying to form the right words. Emma smiled, “I didn’t say you had to sleep with him, unless you want to. I just want someone to be his friend when I am gone. He doesn’t do well being alone.”
Holiday’s entire body blushed upon hearing those words. Emma’s smile widened as she realized Holiday was very much attracted to Jax. They both needed to stop fighting the obvious.
“I didn’t say that I wanted to sleep with Jax. I think he is very attractive and a nice man. I would hate to force a friendship that he might not want. I have seen family and his friends visiting. I am pretty sure when the time comes they will be very attentive to his grief,” Holiday concluded. She reached over to get the medication and administered them quickly. Emma continued to smile up at the nurse despite her pain.
“You already love him,” Emma stated as the medication kicked in. “I can see that much. I guess that will have to do. Don’t waste too much time pretending it’s not true.”
Holiday squealed, “Ms. Emma, please don’t say stuff like that out loud. I could get into trouble with just an accusation. I do not love Jax, I hardly know him. I care about all my patients and families. I want to comfort them within the scope of my practice.”
Jax's Holiday: An Interracial Romance Page 2
