“Like any lovesick fool, she doesn’t want to put you in danger.”
“Ha! I’m there already. And with me here, we can attack the Fiend king on two fronts.”
“She calls him the usurper… Now, she’s spouting love at you again.”
Starbride laughed through a sob. “Oh, Katya, I love you, too.” Starbride put all her feeling behind the words and heard Redtrue’s gasp.
“Not…so strong,” Redtrue said. “Are you trying to make me fall in love with her, too?”
“Is there no way she and I could talk?”
Redtrue was silent for a moment. “You’d need me for a conduit. I would have to enter her mind just enough for her to speak to you.”
Starbride sensed her reluctance. “You don’t like using mind pyramids?”
“If I took up this time to admonish you about these so-called mind pyramids and lament the fact that you were trained by Farradains, Katya would kill me.”
They spent the rest of the time discussing plans and telling of the past, that and promising to see each other again. By the end, Starbride could tell Redtrue grew tired of the many love messages she was forced to pass on.
“If we’re going to get any real sleep tonight, we’d better say good-bye,” Redtrue said.
“Wait, I…” Starbride paused on the cusp of telling Katya that they’d rescued Maia and Averie, but she kept remembering Maia’s despair and what Averie had been through. There was no telling if either would ever be the same. Starbride hated to give Katya hope if she might have to pull it away.
“Yes?” Redtrue prompted. “More love?”
“Yes. More love.”
Redtrue sighed. “And she loves you, as well, as if anyone doubted. Now, I’m saying good-bye for the both of you. Look for me again tomorrow night.”
With that, she was gone like early morning mist. Starbride opened her eyes and found gentle fingers wiping her cheeks. She looked into Dawnmother’s worried face.
“It must have worked,” Dawnmother said. “You’ve been crying for nearly an hour.”
“Was it just an hour?” Starbride asked, feeling her throat tight. “Where is Dekken?”
“Sleeping in the corner, puddled like an old rag. Horsestrong himself could ride into this room, and he wouldn’t wake.”
Starbride let Dawnmother lead her to their room. She had Dawnmother gather Freddie and Hugo and told them what Katya had said. Shortly, Dawnmother left to tend Averie and Maia while the other two absorbed the information.
Hugo rubbed his face. “War. I mean, I know we’ve been fighting, but the idea that it’s a war…”
“Does it matter what it’s called?” Freddie asked.
“You’re telling me that just the idea of war doesn’t scare you?”
“Sure it does. That’s why I prefer to think of it as the fight we’ve already been fighting for the past few months. The only thing that’s changed is we’ll have a few more allies.”
Starbride didn’t know what to think, of war or otherwise. Katya was alive. Call it war, call it springtime, call it the end of all things; none of it mattered. Katya was alive.
Freddie nudged her. “I know what you’re thinking.”
“Everyone should know. Everyone should feel as I do right now.”
“I don’t think everyone has had the same experience with our beloved princess.”
“It’s lovely,” Hugo said with a soft smile.
Starbride beamed, happy that his crush extended beyond her, that he loved Katya too. Maybe he was just in love with love.
“Did you tell her about Averie and Maia?” Freddie asked.
“If we end up with something that will cheer Katya, I’ll share. If not…well, I don’t want to put that on her shoulders.”
“End up with something?” Hugo said. “Is Maia a something now?”
“Hugo, that’s not what I meant.”
“Then what?” He seemed angry, but when he looked at her, it was terror in his eyes, not only for his sister, but for what might happen if he fell into Roland’s grasp.
Freddie patted Hugo’s shoulder, and Hugo didn’t shrug it off. “Maia and Averie will recover, but it might take years. There’s no need to tell Katya now.”
Hugo stilled his face and nodded.
“We need to gather allies quicker now,” Starbride said. “Roland might lock the other chapterhouses down. We’ll need to get as many as we can, step up our efforts to find pyradistés, and see who’s with us among the regular populace.”
“I know a good place to start,” Freddie said. “Dockland’s not happy with the Fiend king.”
Starbride’s mouth turned down at the thought of the odious city and its criminal inhabitants. She still remembered her trip to the mad Warrens and didn’t know what help they’d find in such a place.
Freddie laughed at her disgust. “Lest we forget, I spent a great deal of my life there. Thieves and vagabonds they may be, but they know how to fight, and the Fiend king has been cutting into their profits. There are rumors that he wants to wipe them off the map.”
“Kill them all?” They weren’t her favorites, but she’d never think to simply murder them.
“They may not have much,” Freddie said, “but they’re ready to fight for it.”
“Would they follow us?”
“No, but they’d follow him.” Hugo gestured to Freddie. “Dockland’s most notorious son.”
“You want me to play the Butcher?” Freddie asked. “Why in the hell would the Butcher want to help anyone, especially those who hanged him?”
“He’d want to defend what little he had, that’s what you said.”
“I can try and persuade them as myself,” Freddie said, “but I’m not going to pretend to be something I never was, a figment I have to hide from even now.”
“But they all think you’re the Butcher,” Hugo persisted. “I still can’t quite believe you’re not. They might even believe you came back from the dead.”
“It might rally some to our cause,” Starbride said. “If they believe the stories about your strength and ferocity—and ability to cheat death—they’ll want you in front of them rather than behind.”
He frowned. “I can’t…”
“Maybe you’re right, Freddie,” Starbride said, saving him from growing distress. “The legends might scare more people than attract them. And we wouldn’t want the families of the Butcher’s victims trying to get revenge. But your laughing Jack persona could be a symbol for us. Jack and Jan are the patron spirits of thieves, yes?”
“Among others. I could be a symbol, but I don’t have a voice. Even if I spoke from behind the mask, no one would hear me unless he was standing beside me.”
“What about you, Miss Starbride?” Hugo asked. “You’ve done a good job leading here.”
“I think the fact that I’m Allusian and a noble would hurt more than help with the Docklanders, unless I played the rogue noble popular in some of the juicier storybooks.”
Freddie leered. “Just what kinds of books do you read?”
“Any I can get a hold of. That’s how one learns.”
“Oh, thank you. Now one understands.”
“Katya will know how to play it,” Starbride said. “When next we speak…” She couldn’t contain a shiver and a happy laugh. “I’ll ask her.”
“I can feel it all coming together,” Hugo said. “I’m off to visit my sister. I’ll check in when I get back.”
Freddie lingered after Hugo left. “Don’t fall back on old habits.”
“What?”
“An hour conversation, and you’re already waiting to get Katya’s advice. You’ve been making decisions on your own for a while. Don’t just pass that off now that you’ll have her input. You have a good brain; continue to use it.”
She bristled. “I ask advice from everyone whenever I can!”
“Advice, sure, but I get the feeling you’re going to wait for Katya to tell you what to do.”
“And why shouldn’
t I?” she snapped. “She’s been at this game far longer than I.”
“The war-with-a-Fiend-king game? Not hardly.” He pointed at her. “You’re the more experienced hand here.”
Starbride half turned away, feeling a headache pound through her temples. “I am tired, Freddie. She’s probably tired, too, but I’m…”
He patted her shoulder. “By all means, ask for her advice, ask for mine, hell, ask for Hugo’s, but trust yourself to make a good decision. You’re doing fine.”
“People have died,” she said softly.
“And more will die, but Roland has to be stopped.”
“And what if Hugo dies? Or Maia?”
He chuckled. “Or the spirits themselves? I’ll tell you now: If I die, you’d better fight on unless you want me to haunt you forever.”
She sagged, worn out. She was beginning to sympathize with Dekken. It felt like she hadn’t slept in years. “I didn’t set out to be a leader.”
“The Umbriels did, and look where that got them.”
She gave him a black look.
“When King Einrich takes back the throne, he’ll need you in his circle for all the goodwill you’ve fostered here. Luckily, you’ll be his daughter-in-law, so you won’t be hard to find.”
The thought of wedding Katya made Starbride curl her toes inside her boots. She wanted it now, yes please: Katya in Marienne, at her side, in her bed. “She gives me strength, Freddie.”
“Strength is fine, just don’t let her—”
“Message received. I’m the decision maker.”
He nodded. “You look like you could use a rest.”
“It’s early yet.”
“I’ll wake you if anything noteworthy happens, but I have the feeling that all of us should rest while we can.”
“What about you?”
“I’m too awake to sleep. I’ll send word to my Dockland contacts now that I’ve found them again. Maybe they’ll have some clues as to how we can rouse that den of thieves.” He winked. “I bet they’ll come up with something even Katya wouldn’t think of.”
Before she could hit him, he ducked out the door. Starbride stretched on her bed without putting out the candle. She hadn’t realized how happy she’d be to let Katya take over, to let someone else play leader for a while.
But that was it, wasn’t it? She felt like a little girl at dress-up. Any moment, someone would discover that she wasn’t a leader, that she’d been faking all her supposed knowledge, her paper-thin confidence. They’d demand she relinquish control to the adults.
Or they’d be so disgusted with how many people she’d let die that they’d throw her to Roland.
Starbride shuddered. So far, everyone seemed to think she was doing a good job, but she couldn’t get past the idea that she was fooling everyone. She tried to tell herself that was stupid. She’d proven herself, and her allies trusted her. Why would they suddenly stop?
Because people would be dying in droves. The days before her were filled with blood. Thoughts of Katya momentarily forgotten, Starbride curled around her own unease and tried to reach for sleep.
Chapter Twenty-three
Katya
Katya hugged her knees and nearly rolled around Redtrue’s tent, torn between singing in joy and weeping from worries finally set at ease. Even her sore shoulder and neck didn’t stop her. Surely, any minute now, she would burst open from the pressure of so many emotions and scatter into light.
“Am I forgiven?” Redtrue asked quietly.
Katya wasn’t angry now, couldn’t be, but she knew the feeling would return. “Thank you for doing this. It was better than I imagined. I love her so much.”
“I know.”
“I bet you do, after all the times you had to hear it.”
“I felt it.”
“You what?”
“Not your love, of course, since I was only speaking to you, but she pushed her emotions through the pyramid, and I…” She chuckled. “I hope you never doubt that she means what she says.”
Katya felt another great surge: love for Starbride, embarrassment that someone else could see into her and Starbride’s hearts, and jealousy that she couldn’t feel Starbride’s love in the same way. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
“You might be able to.” Her eyes pinned Katya to the spot. “If I were to enter your mind, just a little, and we were to communicate with her again, I might serve as a bridge between you. You could converse and feel each other without my voice to connect you.”
Katya’s stomach dropped to her feet. “Truly?”
Redtrue cocked an eyebrow, and Katya could nearly read the question there, another plea for forgiveness.
Katya’s mouth worked for a moment. “Does my forgiveness mean that much to you that you’d hold Starbride to get it?”
“No, no, I…” She took a deep breath. “Your people still infuriate me, and I will not abandon the path of the adsnazi for you or for anyone. But your passion has…moved me, and I appreciate your sense of humor, and you are one of the few non-adsnazi who has never treated me like a servant—”
“I get it. You want us to be friends, but, Redtrue…”
“I should not have dangled your Starbride like a carrot before a donkey. I’m sorry.”
Katya burst out laughing. “I never had many friends, so I appreciate the offer, but I don’t understand your position on destructive pyramids; I never will. I’ve had to abandon my principles in order to do my duty, but I’ve only ever considered abandoning my duty for her. I can’t see letting people suffer for anything less than love.”
“But don’t you see?” Redtrue asked. “It is for love, love of the adsna, the very world spirit, love for all things! How can I abandon it to evil? Piling evil atop evil will not fix the Fiends. If I used that destructive pyramid, who knows what consequences it would have in the future?”
Redtrue took a deep breath before she continued. “Your ancestors used the adsna however they chose, never thinking that you and your kin would pay the price. What you’re asking me to do might destroy the world one day or place the children of another generation in the same peril we face now!”
Her entire body quivered with passion. Katya had thought her eaten up by cynicism. It was nice to see that she was truly a believer. Now Katya saw some of what Castelle must have spied in her.
“I value the living more than those who might someday live,” Katya said. When Redtrue opened her mouth, Katya shook her head. “You can’t see the future. If we try to prepare for every outcome, we paralyze ourselves.” She stood. “We may never see eye-to-eye, and I can’t force you to do anything. I appreciate what you’ve done for me and Starbride, and I will always defend your life because of it. I will try to be your friend. But I can’t promise that, even after our struggles are over, I will forgive that you had a weapon that could kill a Fiend and didn’t use it.”
When she stepped out of Redtrue’s tent, Katya spied Castelle nearby, not making any attempt to hide the fact that she was watching. Katya marched up to her, and Castelle leaned back as if expecting another punch. She held a hand to her abdomen as if the sudden movement pained her wound.
Katya reached for her, favoring her wounded shoulder. “You two make a wonderful, utterly confused couple, and if either of you let your anger or pride come between you, you’re fools. Get your ass in there.”
Castelle blinked for a moment and then stepped around Katya and headed for Redtrue’s tent. Maybe they could love their way through their frustrations and wake up in the morning cleansed.
*
The army marched very slowly. Just getting everyone organized took all morning. Good to get the fits and starts out of the way, Katya supposed, before they got farther into Farraday. It would be good to have the army closer while Katya rode out scouting. The next villages were too far away to ride back and forth in one day. And if there were more corpse Fiends wandering around, she dreaded the idea of camping with just a small force.
As she rode, Ka
tya noticed a disturbing separation among the people: the Farradains kept close to one another, and the Allusians did the same, keeping the royals and Dayscout almost in the middle.
Katya rode closer to Dayscout’s horse. “Do you see what’s happening?”
He smiled brightly. “Good morning to you, too. If you mean the gap between our peoples, oh yes, I noticed.”
“What should we do about it?”
“Nothing, I should think.”
She blinked at him. He chuckled.
“In my experience,” he said, “you cannot force people to be friends, Highness.”
“You can call me, Katya, Governor.”
“You are an affectionate people,” he said with a smile. “Better to be Katyarianna and Dayscout, however. The shortening of a name among my people is…delicate.”
Katya nearly swore. She knew that, but… “Redtrue calls me Katya.”
“Her feelings are her own, but I am a leader and a husband.”
“I see your point. Still, do you think we should encourage people to mingle?”
“I think that will happen on its own.” He gestured forward, and Katya looked through the marching masses to where a group bearing Count Mathias’s banner crossed to Hawkblade’s nomads.
Katya recalled the way he’d looked at her with near worship after the fight with Darren. Maybe he was making his own effort to bring their armies closer together. “Some might be tempted to follow in his wake,” she said.
“True. It’s hard for me to see one so young as you worry so much.” He tapped his own temple, then pointed at where her hair had begun to gray.
It still startled her every time she looked in a mirror. “Yes,” she drawled, “you’d think there was a war on.”
“I’m sure it will have cleared itself up by spring,” he drawled back at her.
“You’ve been hanging around our nobles too long.”
“Perhaps this Fiend king was exactly what some of them needed. Horsestrong said, spend too much time in comfortable furs and lose your way out of them.”
“Did he also say that people have to die for others to learn that lesson?”
“Alas, in my knowledge, he was silent on that subject, but no doubt you could find someone with a different opinion.”
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