by E. M. Abel
“Okay, well”—I started closing the hood—“thanks for coming out here. You didn’t have to do that.”
“No problem. I’ll give you a ride.”
He started walking back toward his car. When he noticed I wasn’t following, he stopped and looked at me over his shoulder. “Come on.”
“No, I’m fine. I’m just going to call a tow truck.” I went to retrieve my phone from my purse.
“My dad has a trailer. We can come get it tomorrow. Don’t waste your money. I can fix it.”
I instinctively shook my head at his request. I didn’t take handouts, and I didn’t need him to fix anything. “No, I’ve got it. Thanks though, really.”
I got my phone and started searching for local tow trucks when it was suddenly taken from my hands. My mouth fell open, and I glared at him as I prepared for battle.
Shaun spoke first, “Stop being so fucking stubborn. Get your ass in my car.” He stood in front of me with my phone in his hand.
By the way his eyes flicked back and forth between mine, I could tell he was waiting for me to argue. He was ready for a fight.
“You stop being fucking stubborn. I said, no, thank you. Now, give me my phone back,” I snarled as I held out my hand, palm up, to receive my phone.
He didn’t give it back though. He took a step closer, and I felt the back of my legs hit the bumper of my Mustang.
“Why did you tell me your car wouldn’t start? Why did you tell me where you were if you didn’t want me here?” He continued staring me down.
I didn’t look away. I wanted to stand up to him, but honestly, I couldn’t. I pursed my lips and bit the inside of my cheek because I had no response. He was right. He’d come all the way out here to help me, and I was being a bitch.
“Don’t worry, Killer. This doesn’t mean anything. I’m not falling in love with you. I’m not trying to get you to fall in love with me. I’m just being a friend and offering to help you fix your piece-of-shit car. Now, get over yourself, and put your juicy ass in that seat before I do it myself.” He pointed to the passenger side of his car.
As I much as I hated it, I gave in. “Fine,” I muttered.
I went to move forward, but he didn’t budge. Shaun stood there, looking at me, as a smug grin curled his lips.
We stayed there, staring at each other, for a few seconds, but it felt more like minutes before he finally stepped back and let me pass.
I’d never gotten so much enjoyment from making a woman give in to me as I did with Natalie. I could see the fight in her eyes. She was probably berating herself right now for letting me win, but she would get used to it. If I wanted something badly enough, I always found a way to get it.
As I climbed into my car, I realized how messy it was. Wet boardshorts were thrown on the floorboard, towels and sand were all over the backseat, and empty wrappers and water bottles were on the floors. Reaching across the center console, I moved some trash from the passenger seat and tossed it in the back before Natalie sat down.
She smelled so good. She had on some kind of fruity perfume or lotion. It was the same stuff she’d had on this morning. And just like one of Pavlov’s dogs, my dick responded instantly to the smell.
“Did you go surfing today?” Natalie asked as she craned her neck to look in the backseat of my car.
“Yeah.”
I turned on the car and began pulling out of the parking lot when I realized I wasn’t sure where we were going.
“Where do you live anyway?” I asked as I slowed to a stop at the road.
“You don’t know?” she asked, cutting her eyes to me.
“No. How would I know?”
“Well, you seemed to get my phone number pretty easily on your own.”
I chuckled. I wondered if she would ever ask how I’d gotten her number. It amused me to know she was curious. I’d gotten it from Nick, but there was no way I would give her my source.
“Yeah, well, I only got your number. I’m still new to this stalking shit.”
That got her to laugh.
“Oh. Well, I guess I should be grateful for that. Nick’s apartment is in The Cosmopolitan downtown.”
I nodded as I pulled my car out onto the street.
“So…” we both said at the same time.
Then, we smiled at each other.
“Go ahead,” I said, wanting to hear what she would say.
“Thanks for helping me out,” Natalie muttered, her blue-green eyes meeting mine.
“You owe me one now,” I teased, grinning at her.
“Oh, is that how it is?” she asked, laughing.
“No.”
She turned in her seat a little, and I could feel her eyes studying me.
“You really don’t have to worry about getting my car, you know? I can just call a tow truck.”
I sighed. “It’s nothing, really.”
I looked over at her and saw conflict in her features, but she hid it quickly as she turned back to face the road again.
“So…” I said, changing the subject and reminding her that I was going to say something, too. “You want any more surf lessons?”
She straightened her back, and a smile lit up her face before she turned to look at me again. “Yeah, that would be great. When?”
I contemplated inviting her to my class, but I really didn’t want little kids running around while I was fantasizing about fucking her. Knowing Natalie, she’d probably try to pay me for the lessons.
“When is your next day off?” I asked as I pulled into the parking garage attached to Nick’s building.
“I work all weekend. I’m not off again until Monday.” She watched me drive the car up to the second floor of the garage. “You can just park here by the elevator.”
I slowed the car down and pulled into an empty spot.
“I’m off Monday, too.”
“Okay. Great. Well, I guess I’ll see you then.”
Natalie hesitated with her hand on the door. I thought about inviting her to my apartment, but I needed to keep a clear head and show some restraint.
“Okay. Later.”
When she opened the door, she turned back and let her eyes sweep down my body before meeting my gaze. “Just so you know…I’m not opposed to car sex, but you just lost your chance.”
My mouth fell open, and I saw the satisfaction all over her face before she got out and strutted toward the elevator doors.
I woke up the next morning with a sore body and a raging hard-on. I must have been having a good dream. Of course, I wished Natalie were here with me to help relieve that problem, like she had done yesterday, but she wasn’t.
Lifting my head off my pillow, I squinted as I checked my phone to see it was nine o’clock, and I had missed a text from Rob.
We’re at Dad’s. You should stop by.
Fortunately for me, I didn’t have a set schedule at work, so I could go in whenever I wanted to as long as shit got done. So, I decided to take the day off. I was eager to talk to Rob and get his thoughts on Dad’s new girlfriend. Rob had looked just as shocked as I was when he met Samantha at my birthday party. I wondered what Asia thought about it, too. I had a feeling that if Samantha had to get anyone’s approval in the family, it would be Asia’s, and that wouldn’t be easy.
Making my way to my bathroom, I turned on the shower and stripped out of my clothes before walking out into my living room and putting some music on. That was one of the many perks of living alone. I could do everything naked if I wanted.
I started bobbing my head as I sang along to the music playing from my stereo, and then I remembered that Natalie’s car was still broken down in the parking lot at Red. I’d have to borrow my dad’s trailer and see if he’d let me use his garage, so I could fix it.
Standing in front of the mirror, I wiped the condensation off with my hand to look at my reflection. I needed to shave, but I decided I could hold off another day. What I didn’t want to hold off on was seeing Natalie. I hadn’t been able to stop
thinking about her all night. Her little comment about fucking in my car had filled my head with all kinds of nasty ideas and thoughts. I needed to find a way to see her again.
I’d finally given up on sleep and made my way toward the kitchen. Nick was sitting in his usual spot, drinking his coffee. When our eyes met, I could see the suspicion and curiosity in his stare, but he didn’t voice them.
His lips pressed into a flat line before he muttered, “Good morning.” Then, he continued looking at his iPad.
Usually, Nick never bit his tongue, and the fact that he wasn’t grilling me over not coming home the night of Shaun’s birthday party scared me. I couldn’t have Nick mad at me. He was my only friend and the only person I felt I could count on here.
Clearing my throat, I approached cautiously and poured myself a cup of coffee before going to sit next to him.
“Hey.” I pasted on a fake smile, hoping he wouldn’t see right through it.
His blue eyes speculatively lifted to mine before he responded, “Hey.”
I couldn’t stand it. I felt my hands starting to sweat against my mug, but it wasn’t from the warmth of the coffee. It was from my nerves getting the best of me. I’d never confided in anyone before, but I could feel the words crawling up my throat as the moments of silence passed between us.
I had to just do it. If I wanted things in my life to change, if I wanted to build relationships, I had to be willing to put myself out there. If I was going to do it, Nick was the one person in the world I felt I could be vulnerable with.
“I slept with Shaun,” I blurted out before I could second-guess myself.
Nick looked at me. I could see his back stiffen, and he seemed just as shocked by my admission as I was.
“What?” he asked as he put his iPad down and gave me his full attention.
“The morning after his birthday party. We weren’t even drunk,” I admitted as I leaned forward, putting my elbow on the table. I rubbed my sweaty palm on my forehead.
Nick was unusually quiet, and it made me uneasy.
“Say something, please,” I pleaded as I twisted my neck to look at him.
He had a smug grin and an I-told-you-so look on his face. “How was it?”
His grin broke into an all-out smile, and I reached across the table to smack him on his arm.
“This isn’t funny, Nick! I’ve been here for, what? Not even a week, and I already slept with your best friend’s brother! What is wrong with me?” I let my arms fall flat on the table before I plopped my forehead down between them.
This was all a mess, and now, I’d let Nick in on the secret. Things would probably just get worse from here.
“Relax, Natalie. What’s the big deal? You’re both adults, and you’re both pretty familiar with the whole casual sex scene. So, now, you have someone you can sleep with, and you don’t have to worry about him trying to put a ring on your finger.” Nick lifted his shoulder and let it drop before taking another sip of his coffee.
Lifting my head, I sighed and straightened my back in an attempt to stop sulking. “My car broke down last night at work, and he came to get me. He even offered to fix it.” I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned back in my chair.
He gasped, and his hand flew to his mouth in fake surprise. “Oh my God! That motherfucker. I cannot believe him!”
I couldn’t help but smirk at his sarcasm. I guessed I was being a little overdramatic, but all of this was still new to me, and I didn’t like the unknown. I liked having clear boundaries, and with Shaun, there were none.
“I’m serious, Nick. I’m just not comfortable with all of this. I know this is going to sound weird, but I’m not used to being friends with someone I sleep with. I keep those parts of my life totally separate. Now, they’re mixing together, and it’s fucking with my head.”
He stretched his arm across the table to pat my hand with his before giving me a knowing look. “Let’s be honest here, Natalie. You’ve never been too keen on having friends in the first place. I see you’re trying, and I’m proud of you, really.”
I bit the inside of my cheek, and I could feel emotions swelling inside me that I didn’t realize I had.
“Now, if you think you’re falling for him, that’s a whole other story. I don’t want to see you get hurt. Shaun isn’t the type to settle down. But there’s nothing wrong with having casual sex with someone you actually like and maybe even trust.”
I nodded and broke my gaze from Nick’s to look at my coffee. I didn’t want him to see how hard this conversation was for me.
“Can I ask you something?” Nick lowered his head, urging me to meet his gaze, before he continued, “Why do you only have casual sex? Why don’t you want a boyfriend?”
That was a loaded question. He waited patiently as I rubbed my lips together and wrung my hands in front of me on the table. His hand was still resting on my wrist, and somehow, it helped.
I didn’t think he had the time for me to name every reason, so I tried to sum it up in one sentence. “Loving someone isn’t enough to keep them from leaving, and I’ve been left behind enough to know it’s not worth the risk.” I’d never thought these words, let alone spoken them aloud, but as soon as I’d said them, I knew they were sad…and true.
Nick’s shoulders slumped, and he frowned. He looked away, and I could see the wheels turning in his head. He knew better than to argue with me. Nick and I had both been hurt in the past, and it wasn’t long ago when he’d felt the same way. When his eyes came back to mine, I could see the sincerity in them, and I took a deep breath, praying I’d be able to keep my emotions in check.
“You know I love you, right?” he asked, rubbing his thumb across the back of my hand where it still rested on the table in front of me.
I nodded, but I couldn’t do much else. I was already on the brink of tears.
“You deserve to be happy, Natalie, and avoiding anything scary or anything that might end badly isn’t the way you get there. You gotta let go, girl. Smile, have fun, let loose. I promise, no matter what happens, I will always be here to catch you if you fall.”
I felt my chin quiver, and I bit my bottom lip to try to stop the tears from falling, but it didn’t work. I shook my head and looked down at the table with my eyebrows furrowed.
What’s wrong with me? Why is it so hard to believe that someone loves me and is willing to be there for me?
“Hey. Come here.” Nick stood and came to wrap his arms around me.
I didn’t hug him back. I just cried quietly, swiping at the tears on my cheeks.
“I love you, Natalie. I’m not going anywhere, okay?” he whispered as he rubbed my back, trying to soothe me.
I was trying to stay strong, but I couldn’t hold the tears back anymore. I’d been holding them in for so long. For years, I’d been strong because I had to be. I’d had to protect my sister and be her rock. Now, I was slowly letting down the defenses I’d built around myself, and it was like releasing a floodgate. Reaching out, I wrapped my arms around Nick’s waist as I cried against his perfectly pressed shirt, and he let me.
After my talk with Nick, I felt like a humongous weight had been lifted from my shoulders. My sister was now settling in New York, and it was the first time in my life that I had no one to take care of but myself. It was time for me to get out there and experience life. I was ready to grab on to it with both hands and let it take me away. Anywhere I might end up couldn’t be worse than where I was now. I was ready to take risks, try things I never thought I’d try, and allow myself to just be. I knew it would be hard, but I had to start somewhere.
That was why I had Nick drop me off at Shaun’s building on his way to work and why I was standing in front of his apartment door at nine thirty in the morning. I held my phone in my sweaty palm and took a deep breath as I stared at the screen.
Just do it, Nat.
Straightening my back, I found my inner vixen. She wasn’t hard to find. I always kept her close. Then, I sent a text to Shaun.
I stood there, holding my breath and staring at the screen, until I got a response a few seconds later.
Yes.
Blowing out the air in my lungs, I felt a smile tug at my lips. I dropped my phone into my purse, ran my sweaty hands over my jeans to dry them, and squared my shoulders. Here we go.
After my shower, I was standing in my kitchen, eating Cap’n Crunch, when I’d gotten a text from Natalie, asking if I was alone. My eyebrows had risen, and I’d grinned as dirty thoughts instantly flooded my mind. I’d responded automatically before giving it much thought. It hadn’t occurred to me why she would ask me that. Maybe she wants to have phone sex or something. It seems a little early for something like that, but you never know.
I set my phone down on the counter beside me and lifted my spoon to take another bite when there was a knock on my door. I was frozen for a second with milk dripping from my spoon into the bowl. Is that her? But then, I remembered she didn’t have her car. Maybe it’s just a weird coincidence.
I walked to the door with my cereal bowl in hand, still wet and wearing nothing but my towel. When I pulled open the door, I was shocked to see Natalie standing there in a pair of tight jeans that hugged her sexy-ass thighs and a black tank top. She looked like she had last night—fucking hot—except this time, she had on less makeup, and her hair was dry and hanging down around her shoulders.
She was grinning at me, and there was a look in her eye I hadn’t seen before. It was almost feral, and it made my dick stiffen instantly. I thought she might be here to ask about her car, but there was no mistaking that look she was giving me.
We were about to fuck each other’s brains out.
I couldn’t have chosen a better time to knock on Shaun’s door. He was standing there in nothing but a towel hanging so low on his hips that it was near the end of his happy trail. His gorgeous tan chest and toned muscles were all on display, and his hair was wet and sticking up all over the top of his head. He was holding a bowl of cereal in his hand, and the look on his face as soon as he’d seen me standing on the other side of his door was priceless. His eyes had gotten wide when they first met mine, and then they moved down my body. They quickly narrowed, and his demeanor transformed from surprised to hungry. I could also see the effect I was having on his dick.
