by Kimberly van Meter - A Sinclair Homecoming (The Sinclairs of Alaska)
Wade rubbed his forehead in an attempt to relieve the pain that had begun to throb. He needed more sleep. This insomnia was killing him. He’d hoped that a different bed, perhaps the change in scenery, would help with his sleep issues but it hadn’t. He’d spent just as much time staring up at the ceiling as he did when he was at home. And he was exhausted.
Unbidden, Morgan’s image popped into his head, and he was too tired to push it away. Maybe he really needed to smooth things out with her. He probably should’ve handled himself better the other night but in truth, he’d been embarrassed to his toes. It wasn’t often that he caught himself in that kind of compromising position.
Yeah, that was probably what he needed to do. Clear the air and start fresh. Maybe even apologize. If he was embarrassed, likely she was even more so. He wished he’d noticed the similarities between the two women before he’d allowed Mona to take him to Morgan’s home. Too late now. The only thing he could do was try to make amends.
He finished his beer, left a nice tip for Russ and, pulling Morgan’s business card from his pocket, he checked her address and headed for her office. No time like the present to get things done.
CHAPTER TWELVE
MORGAN WAS SURPRISED to see Wade walk into her office. And for a split second her heart beat just a little bit faster, and that made Morgan highly aware that she had an awkward situation brewing. Remy ushered Wade in with an openly impressed expression that only Morgan could see, as well as a quick appraising glance at his backside that made Morgan want to wring his neck. “Thank you, Remy. That will be all.”
“Look at you, keeping all that sugar to yourself. I don’t blame you,” Remy said with a wink as he closed the door behind him.
Morgan shook her head, embarrassed. It was times like this that she questioned her decision to hire Remy at all. “I’m sorry. He’s a little flamboyant. And he’s also family. But believe it or not he’s a good secretary.” She was rambling. She took a moment to collect herself. “What can I do for you, Mr. Sinclair?”
“Please call me Wade. I feel I need to clear the air over what happened the other night.”
“No need. It’s none of my business. And my sister can be very persuasive.” Now, if only she could slow her fluttering heart to a normal level. She hadn’t felt this flustered around a man in God only knew how long, and the fact that it was Wade made it worse. She swallowed and tried a brief smile. “Truly. No worries,” she assured him. “My sister can be a force of nature.”
“Yes, that I would agree with.” He had the grace to appear chagrined, which she found a point in his favor. There was something about Wade that spoke of integrity; perhaps it was the fact that he was voluntarily suffering through a terribly awkward moment in order to clear the air. She didn’t know many men who would do that.
Her gaze snagged on the minute slivers of premature gray threading through his hair, and she was caught by the urge to run her fingers through it. The man must have a very stressful job to have a bit of gray already.
Wade continued and she realized she’d drifted. “However,” he said with a frown, “I don’t want you to get the wrong impression of me. I rarely go home with women I just met. She caught me at a weak point in the night and I want to apologize for possibly putting you in an awkward position.”
“Oh, it’s fine.” Why was she lying? It wasn’t fine. She was very bothered by the fact that Wade had left with her sister but how was she supposed to defend her opinion? She really had no right to be bothered. It wasn’t as if she had any claim to Wade and it would be inappropriate if she did. But when she thought about her sister kissing those lips it drove her mad. She forced a tight smile. “Really, Wade, I assure you, I’ve already forgotten about the incident. You aren’t the first man my sister has entertained in my home. I was just thrown off guard because we have an arrangement where she is supposed to call me if she is going to be entertaining, and she neglected to do that. I’d just come off a really wretched blind date and I just wanted some peace and quiet. So it really wasn’t you...it was just a situation that was a little unfortunate.”
“Why do you let your sister bring home strange men to your house? I mean, I know it’s none of my business but it does seem a little unorthodox.”
She sighed, shrugging. “I don’t know. She’s my sister and she usually gets her way. It’s easier to agree than to fight with her but I’m selling the house as soon as I can and then the issue will resolve itself because I’m downsizing.”
A memory flashed across his handsome features as he murmured, “My sister Simone was like that. She had the tenacity of a bulldog. She could never understand why anyone would tell her no.” Wade caught himself when he must’ve realized he didn’t want to open a conversation up about his dead sister and cleared his throat to focus on something else. “Why would you want to sell your home? It’s a real show-stopper and unique for this area.”
She really wanted to know more about Wade and his relationship with Simone but she didn’t want to pry too hard into business that wasn’t her own. “It has too many memories,” she answered, which was the truth. But was memory the right word? More like nightmares. She couldn’t wait to unload that house and everything associated with it. “Anyway, it’s too big for one person. I want to simplify my life. I’d love a cottage or small cabin, something that’s easy to maintain. A five-bedroom house with 4,000 square feet is ridiculous for one person.”
“What does your husband say?”
“My husband is dead.” She flushed, realizing she’d answered brusquely. Ordinarily, she was cool and calm when people asked about David because it was an act that she put on. But for some reason she had a hard time slipping into the role she was so familiar with when it was Wade asking the questions. That certainly didn’t bode well. “I’m sorry. I didn’t sleep well last night and I’m a little out of sorts.”
“No need to apologize. I was asking questions that were none of my business. I don’t know why I asked. I mainly wanted to clear the air about the situation with your sister. I should’ve just left it at that.”
“No, I’m really sorry. I appreciate your concern. But I want you to know that I would never hold that situation against you because if Mona is involved, chances are, you didn’t have a chance. She’s a bit of a man-eater.”
“Is that so?”
“Oh, yes. Mona knows how to get what she needs and what she wants from pretty much everyone who crosses her path—particularly the men.” She laughed. “Actually, I might’ve saved you from being another notch in a long line of notches on her bedpost.”
“Oh, that’s a sobering thought.”
“Isn’t it, though?” She chuckled at his open look of distaste. “Anyway, no hard feelings.”
“Great. Happy to hear that.” He started to go for the door and then stopped. “You know, I have a hard time sleeping, too. Insomnia runs in my family and it’s riding me pretty hard lately. Do you have anything that could help me sleep? I’m not talking about drugs, just some alternate suggestions. I’m a little desperate at this point.”
“Have you tried meditation? Yoga? I find when I really can’t sleep, yoga helps.”
“I did yoga once. I think I pulled a groin muscle. I’m not sure I’m flexible enough for that kind of therapy.”
“You don’t have to be super flexible. You just have to learn how to breathe and listen to your body. It gets better with time and practice. If you want, you can come with me to my yoga class. It’s a very gentle class, and I can almost guarantee you no one is going to twist you into a pretzel.”
Was she insane? Inviting him to yoga? But the words had popped out of her mouth before she could stop them. And now she couldn’t take them back. And even worse? She really wanted him to accept her invitation. This was insanity. And yet she was waiting for his answer.
“Really? Yoga? I can’t believe I’m going to
say this but I think I’m ready to try anything. I’m starting to hallucinate from lack of sleep and I need my wits about me to deal with my family. One inadvertent slip of the tongue and it’s Armageddon.”
She smiled. “Being on your guard takes a certain level of energy, for sure,” she said, realizing she liked the sound of his voice. Unlike David, whose voice had been hard and unyielding, brooking no argument, Wade’s voice was soothing. “Well, perhaps a good stretch is all you need. Try it out. What could it hurt?”
“I’ll try anything once—or twice. What should I wear?”
“Something comfortable and something that breathes. Oh, and I should mention it gets a little warm in this class so be prepared to sweat.”
“When is the class and where?”
She tried to hide her excitement. “The class is tonight at six o’clock. I hope to see you there.”
“Address?”
She blushed at how fluttery he made her. “1456 Ginger Street.”
“I’ll be there.”
She held her breath and her smile until Wade left the room. And then she sank into her chair wondering what the hell she’d just done. She shouldn’t be socializing with him. She shouldn’t be spending extracurricular time with him.
But she was excited and she couldn’t wait.
* * *
HAD HE REALLY just agreed to go to yoga? He hadn’t been lying about the fact that he’d tried it once and really had pulled something. The memory still had the power to make him wince. But there was something about Morgan that he wanted to know better. He sensed something about her that felt familiar. Maybe it was a terrible idea—one he would pay for later—but this trip home had been filled with instances that he was likely to regret later.
He rubbed the grit from his eyes. He hadn’t been lying about the insomnia. He was about ready to lose his mind. There was a reason why sleep deprivation was a form of torture.
Had Morgan always been so pretty? How had he not noticed? Her hair hung in long, tumbling, feminine waves that made him itch to explore the texture between his fingertips. And while he’d been momentarily intrigued by Mona he realized now what he found most alluring about Mona was that she reminded him of Morgan.
His phone rang, and he picked it up, hesitating when he saw who it was on the caller ID: Elizabeth. He didn’t really want to talk to her right now. When he’d left for Alaska she’d been insisting upon a conversation but he’d seen little point as he felt they’d made a clean break. He exhaled in irritation.
While Elizabeth was a sweet, sexy lady and he’d thoroughly enjoyed spending time with her, they lacked that special spark between them to push their relationship to the next level. At least, the spark was missing on his end. Elizabeth hadn’t agreed.
He sent the call to voice mail and went to shower and get ready for his yoga class. But just as he went to get in the shower his phone rang again and against his better judgment he checked the caller ID. This time it was his brother, Trace, and he felt compelled to take the call. He and Trace hadn’t spoken since the day he arrived, and Wade felt they needed to hash things out before a rift started that never ended.
“I haven’t heard from Miranda about the evaluation on Mom. How’s it going?”
“As good as can be expected. Mom is being difficult.”
“So has Dr. O’Hare decided whether or not she’s competent?”
“I don’t think she’s made that determination yet. Like I said, Mom isn’t exactly being cooperative. I suspect she’ll have her evaluation done by the end of the week, though.”
“Good. This whole thing is dragging on and I just want it to be done. I need to be able to give a date to the professional organizers and cleaning crew. Right now the situation is in limbo and it’s putting me on edge.”
“It’s going to be hell going in and cleaning the house. Frankly, it might be easier to mow it down and build a new one.”
“Yeah, probably. But you know Mom would freak out even more if we did that.”
“Is it possible for her to freak out more than she already is? I don’t know. Scary prospect.”
“Hey, I know we got off to a rocky start when I picked you up from the airport, and I’m sorry if I said a few things that were brutal.”
“It’s okay. I understand it was said out of frustration.”
“Yeah, but that doesn’t make it right. You’re here now and you’re helping and I just need to let the past go. At least that’s what Delainey says.”
“Well, you might not want to let me off the hook just yet because I don’t how long I can stay. It’s different for you guys because you live here. My life and career are in California, and I can’t put both of those things on indefinite hold while our parents continue to act like irresponsible children. I know it might sound like I’m placing it all on you and Miranda but honestly, I just don’t know how long I can stay here and I want to be honest.”
“I understand that you can’t move home indefinitely but we’re going to need you to help us at least until Mom comes home and the house is cleaned up. Surely you have some kind of leave or vacation time built up that you can use.”
He did. But that’s not exactly how he envisioned using his banked-up personal time. “That’s not the point. I can’t put my life on hold for this situation. I just can’t do it. I’ll do what I can but I don’t want to make false promises.”
Silence filled the space between them, and Wade knew Trace wasn’t happy with what he’d said but Wade didn’t want to lie about how he felt.
In the end, Trace sighed and said, “Whatever, Wade. I guess we just need to be thankful for whatever time you can give us.”
Was that sarcasm? It had sounded a lot like sarcasm. “I didn’t say I was leaving tomorrow. I just wanted to be up-front with you.”
“I know.” Trace released a pent-up breath. “I understand. The whole situation is screwed. It’s not exactly how I envisioned starting my life with my wife.”
“I’m sorry, little brother. I don’t know what else to say. I wish it were different.”
“Yeah, me, too.”
“At least Delainey is familiar with the family. It might be overwhelming for someone new.”
Trace agreed. “Delainey’s been great. I don’t know what I’d do without her. She keeps me grounded when I want to run off and disappear.”
For a moment, Wade suffered a pang of envy for what Trace and Miranda had in their significant others. To have someone in your life who had your back and kept you centered...that had to be something special. Elizabeth had tried to insert herself in that role but he hadn’t wanted her there. To be fair, he hadn’t been interested in anyone fulfilling that role but maybe he’d been blind to the benefits of having someone there for more than just a bed warmer. “You’re a lucky man,” he told his brother. “Don’t let her go.”
“No chance of that,” Trace said. “Well, I gotta go. Let me know what the doctor says about Mom.”
“I will.”
Trace clicked off, and Wade tossed the phone onto the bed as he strode to the shower. Why hadn’t he told his brother that the reason he couldn’t stay was because each moment that he stayed in Homer was another moment that he absolutely could not escape the crushing guilt he felt at failing? Even though it had been Trace who’d been the unfortunate one to find Simone’s body, all three of the Sinclair siblings had been out there looking for her. And each of them had failed. Logic told him it wasn’t his fault any more than it was Miranda’s or Trace’s fault. But that’s not what his heart said. He was the big brother; he was the one who had always looked out for Simone and he hadn’t been able to save her. Everywhere he went, he saw Simone and the memories of when she was alive. And he just couldn’t take it. It’s why he’d left in the first place.
And if he thought his insomnia was bad back in California.
..here in Homer, it was bound to kill him.
Please God, let yoga be the answer to finding some blessed sleep.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
WADE STEPPED INTO the softly lit room and nearly choked when he realized it had to be 100 degrees in that room. “Someone forgot to turn off the heater?” he joked to Morgan when she joined him, looking even cuter in her yoga pants and sports top. “It’s hot enough to get a sunburn in here.”
“Oh, it’s supposed to be,” Morgan answered with a smile as she spread her mat on the floor. “This is hot yoga. The heat will help your muscles to stretch and oxygenate.”
“And it might help my body to clock out,” he retorted, wiping the sweat already beading on his brow. “Is it normal to feel a little claustrophobic?” he asked, drawing a deep breath of the heated air and feeling light-headed as Morgan grabbed a guest mat and spread it out for him. “I’m not sure if this is my thing. I know I need sleep but I didn’t plan on getting it by passing out.”
“Give it a try at least once. If it’s not your thing, then you don’t have to do it again. But what if after this class, you experience the best sleep of your life?”
Ah, hell. That was a compelling argument. He desperately wanted a little vacation in Nodsville. “What if I my eyes roll into the back of my head and I fall over in a heap?”
“No one will judge.”
He did a double take. That wasn’t the answer he was looking for.
“Come on, scaredy-cat.” Morgan grasped his hand and drew him toward their mats. “Stay by me. I’ll help you through it.”
“Is there a paramedic in the room in case, you know, someone dies?”
“No one has died yet.”
He took a seat cross-legged, following Morgan’s lead, and when the instructor started talking in soft, modulated tones, he realized if his friends back in California could see him now he’d never hear the end of it.
