by Warren Adler
“What we did… we thought it might help,” Michael said, breaking the silence. The boy’s voice had weakened.
“Forget that,” Josh said. “What’s done is done. Your mother and I are just glad you’re okay.”
Michael nodded and turned away, looking out the window.
“When will Emmie visit again?” he asked.
It seemed a signal for them to leave.
***
During the next few days, Josh and Victoria continued their vigil at Michael’s side. Emily would visit after school, and at Michael’s request, Evie paid a couple of visits. Victoria, obviously still fearful of her influence, did not let Evie visit him alone. Josh and Victoria exchanged few words outside of the hospital room. Neither had much to say to each other.
They continued to take their meals together in the hospital cafeteria. After dinner, they visited Michael again, then went back to their respective motel rooms.
On each of their visits to Michael’s room, they put a happy face on his prospects for recovery, but continued to deflect his questions about what their ultimate future as a family might be. It soon became obvious to both of them that Michael, while out of the coma, did not seem to be recovering with the speed they had hoped for. He didn’t have much of an appetite and he participated less and less in conversation. Although the nurses forced him out of bed, he would always crawl back in before the allotted time of his exercise.
They brought him books that he didn’t read and video games that he didn’t play. He was also uninterested in television. Worry was turning to alarm.
It was only when Emily would arrive late in the day that Michael seemed to perk up. She would come in and sit by his side, sometimes for more than an hour.
“When will you be better?” Emily would ask.
Michael would shrug in a noncommittal way.
“I miss you, Mikey.”
“And I miss you, Emmie.”
Sometimes, Josh observed, they would say very little to each other, and he could detect in them a nonverbal sibling bond not unlike what he had with Evie.
Still, Michael did not improve. Josh and Victoria consulted Michael’s primary doctor who told them he was baffled by Michael’s condition. The boy was weakening, had lost his appetite, and seemed depressed and dispirited. The doctor told them that his condition could be life threatening because he wasn’t eating, a comment that left them both numb with fear.
If there was no improvement, they had jointly agreed, they would bring in a psychiatrist. Meanwhile, Michael showed no signs of fully recovering. As a precautionary measure, the doctor ordered that the IV treatment be instituted again.
***
One morning, Josh and Victoria went up to Michael’s room only to find that he was worse. His little body seemed sapped of strength and his complexion had turned dead white. Even his freckles seemed to have faded. Josh was truly alarmed, although he forced himself not to show it.
When his parents came into his room, Michael opened his eyes and managed a wan smile. Josh and Victoria exchanged glances, feigning broad, open smiles. Josh knew she was suffering as much as he was.
“We’ve an announcement to make, darling,” Victoria said suddenly. Josh looked at her, baffled.
Michael was suddenly alert and seemed curious and expectant.
“We’ve made up, Michael,” Victoria chirped.
Josh was dumbfounded. They hadn’t discussed it. He explored her expression. Was she, as he had put it, dissimulating?
“We’re not going to get divorced,” Victoria continued. She turned to Josh, and put her arms around him, startling him. He drew her closer, and before she could turn away, kissed her on the lips. Victoria made no effort to move away from him.
“It was all a misunderstanding,” Victoria said. “Wasn’t it, Josh?”
“A total misunderstanding.” He reached out and caressed Victoria’s cheek. “I love your mother, Michael. More than I can say. No more nonsense in this family.”
“And no more talk of divorce,” Victoria said. “We were being silly and immature, weren’t we Josh?”
“It was ridiculous, putting everybody through this.”
They moved so that each was now on opposite sides of the bed. Each kissed one of Michael’s cheeks, then brought their lips together directly in front of him.
“We want to be a loving family, don’t we, Victoria?” Josh said.
“How does that make you feel, sweetheart?” Victoria said.
Michael looked at them curiously, inspecting their faces, not quite certain what to make of it. Josh observed some color come back to his cheeks, and his eyes seemed to shed their sad glazed look.
“Really?” Michael asked.
“Don’t look so skeptical, son,” Josh said, hoping he had conveyed the message.
“It’s what you wanted, isn’t it darling?” Victoria asked.
“Sure, Mom. I want that to happen.”
“Well, it has,” Victoria said, reaching across Michael and taking Josh’s hand.
Josh said, “Now we’ve got to get you well and home… not exactly home… but, to repeat the old cliché, home is where the heart is.”
Josh squeezed Victoria’s hand. He was startled when she returned the pressure.
“Mom and Dad… do you forgive me?”
“There’s nothing to forgive,” Victoria said.
“Nothing,” Josh whispered.
“It doesn’t matter, darling,” Victoria said. “Just get well. That’s all we ask.”
The doctor came into the room.
“Well, well, what have we here?” he said. “Looks like a love fest.”
“You got that right, Doc,” Josh said. “Doesn’t this little guy look better to you?”
“I’d say so,” the doctor said. “What have you done to perk up this little fellow?”
“Secret love potion,” Josh chuckled, looking at Victoria.
They left the room holding hands, but as soon as they reached the waiting room, Victoria disengaged.
“It worked wonders,” Josh said.
“Yes it did. Don’t think it was easy.”
He tried to conceal his disappointment.
“It was an Academy Award performance,” he said.
“I thought so. But at some point we’ll have to tell him the truth. That won’t be easy.”
***
They went through the same act during their repeated visits to Michael’s room, kissing and embracing, illustrating with fervor their supposed reconciliation. Later, Evie brought up Emily, who embraced her brother.
“Mommy and Daddy say you’ll be out very soon,” she told Michael.
Seeing the two children together, Josh felt some sense of foreboding. Emily, of course, sensed the truth of the situation. Josh had no illusions about that. Their effort at feigning alliance outside of Michael’s room was not very convincing. They continued to maintain separate rooms, and their attempts at affectionate role-playing for Emily’s benefit seemed forced and insincere. Of course, when they entered Michael’s room all that changed. They became the affectionate loving couple.
“You can’t stay long, darling,” Victoria said. “Michael needs his rest.”
“She can stay, Mom. I feel much better.”
“See,” Emily said. “Mikey says I can stay.”
“I’d prefer he gets some rest, baby.” She embraced her daughter and looked up at Evie. “Aunt Evie will take you out to the ice cream parlor.”
Josh was stunned at the suggestion. Then he realized the point of the exercise. She wanted Michael to understand that she had reconciled with Evie as well. On that score, there was a modicum of truth.
“Really?” Josh asked. Evie immediately picked up the cue.
“Great idea. We’ll get a delicious sundae with whipped cream and a
cherry on top.” She looked at Michael.
“Terrific. Wish I could.” Michael said, looking at his mother. “You go on, Emmie.”
His sister moved to the bed and the two stared at each other for a brief moment, then embraced. Evie and Emily went off to the ice cream parlor.
After they left, Michael addressed his parents.
“I’m a little tired, Mom and Dad. I think I’d like to sleep now.”
“Would you like us to go?” Josh asked. He had his arm around Victoria and pressed her tightly to him.
“I think so, Dad,” he said. His color had gone pale again, a troubling sight.
“We’ll be off, then,” Victoria said. “See you in the morning.”
“Sure, Mom,” Michael said, his voice weakening.
“We love you, son,” Josh said. He turned his face to Victoria and kissed her cheek. “We’ll all be together again soon. Won’t we, love?”
“Yes we will, darling,” Victoria said.
“Great,” Michael whispered.
He closed his eyes and clasped his hands over his chest. Pale and frail, he looked like a corpse. They bent over him and kissed him, then went out of his room holding hands.
“He’s getting worse,” Victoria sobbed.
“You imagined it,” Josh whispered, fighting his own temptation to cry. They continued to hold hands, which surprised him.
His eyes met Victoria’s and held for a moment. “He doesn’t believe us,” Josh whispered.
“I know.”
She released her hand from his and turned away without comment.
***
Alone in his motel room later, Josh felt a sense of heavy foreboding. They had been so certain that Michael would react positively to their announcement of reconciliation. He seemed to at first. Then something had happened that made him see through their scheme, and he had relapsed into depression.
He pondered the question. There was only one explanation. Had Emily communicated the truth to her brother in a special way, through some private frequency, beyond the comprehension of adults?
For Josh there was no role to play. For him, it was real. He wanted his wife and family back.
Near midnight, he called the hospital and the nurse on duty said that Michael was resting comfortably.
“Is he showing any improvement?” he asked her.
“He’s still asleep,” the nurse said. She was not the kindly gray-haired nurse that was far more sympathetic. This one was all business.
“But do you think he’s improved?”
“I can’t tell,” the nurse said. “His vital signs are stable.”
“What about his color?”
“I’m not sure that’s a good indicator, Mr. Rose.”
“Is he worse?”
“I just went over this with Mrs. Rose. There’s really nothing more I can tell you.”
She hung up abruptly.
Not long after, he heard a tiny knock at his door and jumped out of bed to open it. It was Victoria. She wore a robe over her nightgown. When she saw him, she put a finger over her lips.
“I don’t want to wake Emily. These walls are like paper.”
He nodded. She sat down on a chair. Josh paced back and forth in front of her.
“I spoke to the nurse,” she said.
“So did I.”
“I’m very worried, Josh. I thought surely what we told him would cheer him up.”
“I guess we weren’t convincing,” Josh said.
“I tried to appear authentic,” she said.
“I was.”
She ignored his remark and averted her eyes.
“Maybe there’s more to it than we think,” she sighed. “Something physical that they haven’t diagnosed.”
“Or metaphysical.”
She frowned and seemed confused.
“I don’t understand.”
“I think I do.”
“Then please explain it.”
He continued to pace in front of her.
“Children know,” he said. “They can’t be fooled. Emily told him the truth.”
“That’s ridiculous,” Victoria said. “I was there. She said nothing.”
“She didn’t have to. Don’t you see? They want us back together.”
“I know that. But it’s not their decision,” she protested.
“It was them, Victoria. Them. Can’t you see that? Not me. Them.”
“What are you saying, Josh? Would they go this far? They’re little kids.”
“You can’t hide behind that fiction anymore, Victoria. We underestimate them. They’re people and they have an agenda.”
“They don’t know what life is all about.”
“They know about their life.”
“We can’t always make choices that only favor them.”
He stopped his pacing and watched her through a long pause. He suddenly realized that there was something she wanted to say.
“You always did,” he said, watching her. She shook her head and briefly covered her eyes with her palms.
“I don’t ever want him to go back to that school,” she said angrily. “Never.” She looked up at him, waiting for his comment. It was, after all, a joint decision. “Let Tatum take his gateway to success and shove it.”
“You have my consent, Victoria.”
“I’d sue the bastard,” she said. He saw her lawyerly aggression surface briefly, then retreat. “Fact is, I stupidly participated in the transaction.” She sucked in a deep breath. “Besides, the evidence is gone.”
“Don’t let it fester, Victoria. It’s over.”
“It’ll never be over.”
“For me either,” he said, hoping his implication was clear.
She studied her hands, then looked up and shook her head.
“I just wanted you to know.” She averted her eyes. “When I saw our child lying there… Oh my God.” She forced down a sob. “I want you to know, Josh. I do believe him. I can’t deny it to myself any longer. I know it was the children. It has dawned on me that if you had organized this… this craziness, it would have been more logical. I just can’t understand their reasoning.”
“The only explanation I can find is that they wanted to create an outside menace. Force us all into an alliance.”
“It doesn’t make much sense. I don’t understand what that was supposed to accomplish.”
“I didn’t then. But I do now.” Said Josh.
She remained silent, waiting for him to continue.
“Maybe this,” he said waving his arm. “You and I. Here together.”
Their eyes met, but this time her glance did not abruptly turn away from him. He stopped his pacing and stood in front of her.
“I liked being that close to you again, Victoria,” he whispered.
“Deprivation does that, I suppose,” she answered, but the edge of sarcasm did not seem very strong.
“Rethink this, Victoria,” he said.
“Not now,” she mumbled. He searched her face looking for the tiniest sliver of optimism.
He reached out his hand, took hers. She did not resist. But it lay in his palm without movement. He felt his body react, inexplicably aroused.
“The body does have a mind of its own, Victoria,” he told her. “Sometimes it overwhelms you.”
Her hand remained in his.
“Like now,” he whispered.
Bending over, he moved his face closer to hers. She did not turn away. His lips brushed hers and her mouth opened to receive his deep kiss. Her need felt as urgent as his. Reaching down, his hand brushed her inner thigh then moved upward to confirm her reaction. She raised her pelvis to meet his caress.
Lifting her, he carried her to the edge of the bed and half-standing entered her. Pressing his buttock
s, she moved him forward and found his rhythm, gasping and bucking, as they reached a crescendo of mutual orgasm.
They remain conjoined for a long while, then separated and lay side by side on the bed.
“Don’t misinterpret this, Josh,” Victoria said.
“I’m not,” he replied.
“Let’s not overreact,” she warned again, getting beneath the sheets. He slipped in beside her. She had turned away, and he fitted his body next to her like conforming spoons, caressing one breast.
“Brings back old times,” he sighed, recalling those early days of their marriage when they could never get enough of each other.
“It does have a ring of nostalgia,” she said.
He held her tightly against his naked body, but he feared breaking the spell by too much conversation.
“I love you, Victoria.”
He waited for her response. None came. Soon he could tell from her deep, even breathing that she was asleep. He continued to hold her, barely moving.
It was still dark when they awoke. She arose, put on her robe, and started to leave the room.
“Where are you going?” Josh asked.
“Emily will wake up. If I’m gone, she’ll be frightened.”
“Of course.”
But before she could open the door, he was out of bed embracing her. He felt her shoulders lurch in a deep sob. She pulled away from his embrace and moved silently out the door.
***
Josh was shocked to see Michael. He looked worse than he had appeared yesterday morning. He motioned to the gray-haired nurse who proceeded to meet with them outside Michael’s room.
“What’s going on?” he asked.
“We don’t understand it. The doctor was in earlier. He can’t find anything wrong physically. It’s as if the boy just doesn’t care. He has no appetite. And all he’s been doing since you left last night is sleeping. We’ve increased his IV intake.”
“Is this life threatening?” Victoria asked.
The nurse shrugged. It was not a very encouraging response. Josh and Victoria went back into Michael’s room. His eyes were open and he offered them a warm smile, but his complexion was whiter than the pillowcase and he looked exhausted.
