by Susan Gable
Jordan stumbled, then backed out of his embrace, eyes down. “Mom, can I go show Finn?” On the kitchen cam he was puttering away over the stove, even though it was Monday and Fresh was closed. Some men retreated to a workshop; Finn hid out in the kitchen on his day off.
“Sure, baby.” Amelia picked up the apron. “Take this with you. Tell him it’s a present from me.”
Jordan took it and fled, giving Hayden a shy glance as she passed him.
“Don’t you let my girl down, Hayden Hawkins.” Amelia shook a finger at him. “She’s already got a crush on you.”
His mouth opened a fraction, his eyes widening. “What?” His eyebrows drew together. “Nah. I’m her uncle.”
“I’ll see that he doesn’t,” Elke said, folding her arms.
He bent and picked up the black thing off the floor. “Before you both decide to flay me, I brought a present, too. Something I think you’re going to love.”
“What’s that?”
“This is a back-massage chair mat. I found it in my closet last night, and I got to thinking. What if we lay this on the bed? I’ll bet your back muscles are killing you by now.”
“You’re a genius. Let’s try it.” Amelia closed her computer and moved it out of the way.
FINN SET THE KNIFE DOWN, wiped his hands on his apron. “Wow. Just wow.” He made a circle with his finger. “Turn around, let me see the rest.”
The partially bare back of the dress made him press his lips together.“Well?” Jordan looked at him eagerly. “What do you think?”
“I think you’re beautiful.” The dress, on the other hand, he wasn’t so sure about. Crap. He was thinking like a dad again.
He’d found himself slipping into the role more and more, despite his misgivings. Despite Amelia’s misgivings—and threats.
Jordan smiled. “Thanks. I still have to figure out what shoes I’m wearing and all that, but I really like the dress.”
“That’s good.”
“Oh, I almost forgot. Mom said to give you this. It’s a present from her.” She shoved something into his hands and headed for the stairs. “I’m going to go hang this up. But I’ll be back to help you, if that’s okay?”
“Of course it is.” She’d taken to spending about an hour with him in the morning, while he did prep work for the day. He’d taught her to crack eggs one-handed, how to make a roué, and she’d mastered the family recipe for triple chocolate brownies. She often made those on her own for the restaurant, where Finn served them with homemade vanilla ice cream and raspberry sauce.
As she flounced up the stairs, he unfolded Amelia’s gift.
Kiss the Cook, huh? Insult, or an invitation? He bit back a grin.
He adjusted the laptop on the island shelf, but she didn’t have her computer on so he could talk to her. The mounted camera Hayden had installed still ran most of the time, but he couldn’t communicate through it. He untied the apron he had on over his jeans, put on Amelia’s gift. Water splashed as he tossed some potatoes into a pot for the new gnocchi recipe he was experimenting with. Then he headed upstairs.
The wall between the two landings still seemed mockingly bare, a reminder that fantasy and reality weren’t even in the same universe. He finished the climb slowly.
“Ohmigod, ohmigod!” Amelia moaned.
Heart pounding, Finn hurtled the final steps two at a time.
“That feels so good.”
Finn halted outside her door.
“Genius. Total genius. Hayden, I love you,” Amelia confessed.
Finn burst into the room. “What the hell…” He trailed off as Elke and Hayden, seated on the couch—Elke’s bare feet in Hayden’s lap while he massaged them—both stared at him like he’d lost his mind.
Which he probably had.
In the bed, Amelia, her body shifting slightly beneath the covers, closed her eyes with a contented sigh.
“…is going on in here?” Finn finished.
Hayden laughed. “Massages. Haven’t I told you? The way to a woman’s heart, whether she’s your sister or not, is through massage.”
Elke kicked him in the thigh. “Shut up and rub.”
“Watch where you’re kicking. I’m fond of nearby anatomy.” He dug his thumb into her arch, causing her to slump back onto the brown pillows.
“Be careful where you put pressure,” Amelia murmured. “There are points in the feet that have been used by acupuncturists to induce labor. I’ve actually had some luck with accupressure in a few of my patients who went past their due dates.”
“Well, we don’t need labor right now, that’s for sure. For either of us.” Elke draped her arm over her face.
Hayden gave Finn a grin that said he knew all too well what had been going through his brother’s mind when he’d heard Amelia moan. He raised an eyebrow. “Nice apron.”
Amelia opened her eyes. “Oh. You’re wearing it.”
Finn crossed to the near side of the bed, the side she didn’t usually lie on. “I am. It was supposed to be for your eyes only. I didn’t realize Elke was still here. Or Hayden, either.”
Under the covers, Amelia’s body undulated, from her upper torso down to her waist. He heard a faint motorized whir and cocked his head. “What is happening? I know Chip can be rambunctious, but he doesn’t move like that.”
“It’s a massage pad. Hayden brought it for me.”
“Is that…safe?” He looked over at Elke, who still covered her face with her arm. “Elk?”
“Huh? Oh. It’s fine. She’s not upright, it’s not putting any pressure on her cervix. I wouldn’t overdo it, but it shouldn’t be a problem. Mmm, Hayden, I take back every mean thing I ever said about you. Jeremy has a thing about feet. He won’t touch them.”
“This is a one-time opportunity. So enjoy it.”
“This is part of your breakup dates, isn’t it? You lull women into absolute relaxation, then you dump them and cut out before they can think straight.”
Hayden laughed. “No, but it’s not a bad idea.”
Finn glared at him, clearing his throat. Elke dropped her arm and opened her eyes. He jerked his head toward the door.
“Huh? Oh. Hayden…um…I hate to make you stop, but there are a couple of errands I have to run for the wedding, and I could use some help.”
“I don’t do wedding crap—ow!” Hayden rubbed his thigh where their sister had dug in her heel. “Right. Let’s go.”
When Elke had gathered her sneakers and socks, she left. Hayden lingered in the doorway for a moment, looking from Amelia to Finn, then he pivoted and left.
Finn sat on the edge of the bed.
Amelia pressed a button on the wired remote in her hand, and all movement stopped. She exhaled slowly. “Better?”
She nodded. “You have no idea.”
“Thank you for the apron. You didn’t have to.”
“No, I didn’t. That’s what makes it a gift.” She toyed with the string he’d tied in the front. “How is it you make an apron, of all things, look sexy?”
Warmth surged through him. “You like it, huh?”
“I do.” She sighed. “I shouldn’t. But I do.”
“So are you going to?” He leaned forward. “To what?”
He pointed to the red words on the apron’s bib. “Kiss the cook?”
She smiled. “Thought you were a chef.”
He studied her for a moment, then burst out laughing. “You are an evil, evil woman.”
“No. Just a woman.”
“You’re not just anything.”
“You don’t know me. And you’re not exactly seeing me at my best here.”
“You’ve spent almost a month in my bed. Under very trying circumstances. I know enough. I’d probably be blinded by sheer amazement if I saw you at your best.”
“Am I seeing you at your best?” She curled her fingers around his biceps, toyed with the sleeve of his white T-shirt.
Distracted as he was by her touch, it took awhile before he nodded. “Pretty
much. I’m normally not this attentive. Too busy. Then again, this is the first time I’ve ever lived with a woman. Outside of my two wives, I mean. Although…I think I’ve spent more time with you in a month than I did with them in all the months we were married.”
“Hence your divorces.”
“Yeah. They both needed a lot more than I could give back then.” The fantasy life of his dream came back to him. The long-term marriage to Amelia, raising Jordan with her. Being a real family, not a pretend, short-term father. Did he want more than she could give? Were it not for the unexpected twist of fate that had landed her in his bed, she’d have been long gone.
And he’d have been long forgotten, he suspected. Maybe not by Jordan.
But Amelia would have gone on with her own life. Nine hundred miles away.
And he’d have gone on with his, pouring everything he had, all his time, all his efforts, into the restaurant. Alone.
He shivered.
“Someone walk over your grave?” she asked.
“Maybe.”
“THERE’S NO TEXTING in baseball.”
Jordan’s fingers paused over her phone. She glanced up at Finn, who sat next to her at Jerry Ute Park. “What?”“Never mind. You’re too young to get the reference, I suppose. Who’re you texting?”
“Shelby.”
“Dumb question.” He tapped the brim of the cap he’d bought her first thing at the SeaWolves game. “You bored?”
“Umm…” She was, but he’d given up his Monday night off—time he usually spent experimenting with new dishes—so they could go to a ballgame with some family. Uncle Derek and his three kids, Uncle Greg and Ryan, and Uncle Hayden had shown up towing Nick, a cousin she’d never met before.
Also thirteen, he had dark brown hair, familiar blue eyes, and like Finn a single dimple that appeared when he smiled. His nose seemed a little big for his face, but then…so did hers. She’d snapped Nick’s picture and fired it off to Shelby. Maybe her BFF would stop drooling over her father and start drooling over a cousin. That was way less weird.
“I’m going to take that as a yes.” Finn sighed. “Guess you’re not much of a baseball fan, huh?”
Jordan shrugged. “Guess not. But…I’m glad you brought me. Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.” He lowered his voice. “Truth is, I’m not such a fan myself. But I’ve never had the chance to be included in a dads-and-kids outing with my brothers. So thank you.” He patted her arm. He went back to watching—or pretending to watch; now she wasn’t so sure—the game. She went back to texting Shelby.
The crack of bats against balls, the cheering—or jeering—of the crowd, the smells of hot dogs and nachos made it an interesting change of pace. Two rows below them, a young couple kept stealing kisses between at-bats. Not disgusting public pawings, but sweet. Like they were in love.
Over in the next section, a guy with a scraggly beard who’d obviously had too many beers yelled at the umpires. Security showed up a few minutes later and escorted the guy from his seat. His neighbors applauded.
At some point, Katie and Lila, Uncle Derek’s two girls, started whining that they were hungry. Ryan and Jack quickly agreed. Finn and Uncle Hayden volunteered to make a concessions run.
Leaving Jordan alone with Nick. Or near enough, anyway. She moved over one seat. “You’re Ian’s son, right? Finn’s my dad, but I only met him, like, a month ago.”
Nick turned his attention from the field to look at her. “Really? My dad died when I was a baby. I don’t remember him at all.”
“What happened to your father? I’ve asked about him, but no one wants to tell me. Especially Uncle Hayden.”
“Hayden’s cool. He does all kinds of stuff with me…My dad needed a bone marrow transplant.” Nick eased closer to her. “Uncle Derek was supposed to be the donor. But my dad got sick with something else before they could do the transplant. I think he had the flu or something like that.” He shrugged. “It’s not a secret. I’m not sure why they wouldn’t tell you.”
Jordan gripped the armrests of the seat. Tiny black dots swam across the ball field. The back of her neck felt sweaty. She flung herself forward, sticking her head between her knees the way Aunt Elke had taught her.
Uncle Ian had died waiting for a bone marrow transplant. No wonder none of them would talk to her about it.
“You all right?” Nick patted her awkwardly on the back. “Don’t hurl, huh? These are new sneakers.”
“Jordan?” Finn’s voice carried from a distance. Footsteps pounded down the stairs. Shoving the food at Nick, Finn sank into the seat next to her, an arm around her shoulders. “Jordan?”
She waved a hand at him. “I’m okay.” She slowly sat up, using his arm for balance. A few black dots reappeared, but not as many.
“What the hell happened?” Finn demanded of Nick.
The boy shrugged. “I dunno. One minute we were talking, and the next, she bent over like that.”
“Hey, we’re trying to watch the game here,” said a man from behind them.
“And I’m trying to make sure my kid’s not about to keel over, buddy, so how about you watch your damn game?”
“Take it easy, Finn,” Uncle Hayden soothed him. “Getting into a brawl isn’t going to help.”
“Jordan? Do you want to go home?”
“Yes.” She took a deep breath. “Why didn’t anyone tell me that Uncle Ian died waiting for a bone marrow transplant? Did he have aplastic anemia, too? Is that why I got it? You should have told me!”
Finn’s face went white. Uncle Hayden slumped in his seat.
“All right,” Finn finally said. “We’ll talk about it.” He glanced warily at the guy behind them who’d yelled. “But not here. Derek, Greg, Hayden…a word with you guys, please?”
The four brothers held a quick conference at the top of the stairs, out of earshot of the kids.
“What’s aplastic anemia?” Nick asked.
“A blood disease. I need a bone marrow transplant, too.”
“So…like, you could die?”
She mostly tried not to think about it. Mom had a plan. Her baby brother was on the way, with the cells she needed for a cure. Though she understood her low white blood cell count could leave her open to infection, she’d never imagined catching something else and dying before she could have her transplant. Until now.
“Yeah. I could die.”
The sounds of the crowd and the sharp crack of a ball being hit filled the long silence that followed. Nick finally said, “That sucks.”
“Tell me about it.”
“WHAT THE HELL DO I TELL her?” Panic drove Finn to pace along the wall while his brothers watched. Once more he was in over his head. Fantasy fatherhood included ball games with your kid. Not explaining to a sick child how your brother had died in a similar situation. “You.” He stabbed his finger at Greg. “You’re the expert at dealing with this stuff.”
“If by stuff you mean seriously ill children, then yeah, I have more experience than you do.”“So what do I say? I mean, I don’t want to freak her out.”
“News flash,” Derek said. “She’s already freaked out.”
“You tell her the truth,” Greg said. “You lay out the facts about Ian’s death from an infection his body just couldn’t handle because of his illness. You point out that he had leukemia, which is not what she has. And you remind her how important it is to focus on the positive. To fight the good fight.”
“And remind her how damn important it is that she tell someone if she’s suddenly feeling worse than normal, whatever her normal is. And not keep it a secret.” Hayden dragged his hand through his hair.
They all turned to him. “It wasn’t—” Greg began.
“—your fault,” he, Derek and Finn finished together.
Hayden stared out over the ball field. “Whatever.” He cleared his throat. “Just make sure the kid knows to tell someone, okay?”
“Okay.” Finn cuffed Hayden lightly on the shoulder.
/> “Mostly, you tell her how much you love her, and how much faith you have that everything is going to work out for her,” Greg said.
Tell Jordan he loved her? Finn started pacing again.
“Welcome to fatherhood,” Derek said. “It’s not all ball games and hot dogs, is it?”
“No. It sure as hell isn’t.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
THEY’D TURNED HER ROOM into wedding central.
Once more Amelia chided herself. She’d wanted more excitement, a change of scenery, but this wasn’t exactly what she’d had in mind.The overwhelming chatter of seven women, crammed into her room and in various stages of dress, mixed with the scent of the flowers and varieties of perfume, made her queasy.
The antinausea meds worked, but Amelia feared they were pushing her luck.
There’d been much laughter early on about how stunned the guys had been last night when the women had busted their bachelor party. For the second wedding in a row, they’d successfully kidnapped the groom—apparently a Hawkins family tradition—to prevent him from being too hungover on his wedding day.
Each bridesmaid wore a different secondhand black dress, chosen to flatter her figure.
Shannon’s dress was a simple, knee-length, curve-hugging taffeta, with a stand-up collar shrug. Perfect for a casual outdoor, Sunday afternoon wedding.
It reminded Amelia of the dress she’d worn. She shivered.
Lydia Hawkins draped a single strand of pearls around Shannon’s neck. “Something borrowed,” she told her soon-to-be daughter-in-law. “My parents gave me these when I graduated from high school.”
“I love borrowed.” Shannon fingered the necklace, looking at her reflection in the full-length mirror on the back of the bedroom door.
“We know,” several of the sisters answered, then they all laughed.
“You owe me a beer,” Elke told the others. “I’ll collect after this kid is weaned.”
