When wrong feels so right

by Mia Ford

  I stood up and crossed my hands in front of me, thinking carefully about my next words. I could start a fight, but what would it do besides make things even more awkward? I shook my head and took in a deep breath as he looked up at me.

  “Will that be all?” I was stern and emotionless.

  He nodded his head, and I turned to walk out of the office. However, as I reached the door, I stopped, unable to let what my father told me to go. I had to say something or at least ask.

  “Tanner,” I said turning back around. “My father told me about the fight you two had. Was that why you came over to my house? Was that why we had sex? Were you trying to get back at my father?”

  “No,” he said, looking up with a surprised face. “Ava, that was not the reason. That had nothing to do with it.”

  I wanted to say something else, but at that moment the secretary opened the door. She looked at both of us awkwardly before Tanner waved her in. I took that moment to scoot out behind her, not wanting to talk anymore about it. I didn’t believe Tanner, not after he acted so short and uncaring about having me switch offices. There was something about the way he handled himself that made me think that I didn’t know him like I thought I did. I walked back over to my office and closed the door, not wanting to even catch a glance of Tanner for the rest of the day.

  I spent the rest of the workday going up a few floors and working with the financial department on their changing management strategy. Anytime I caught wind that Tanner was coming up, I would make sure to go back to my office, purposely missing him passing by. I knew it was childish, but I needed a minute to really understand what happened that morning. I still had my job, but for some reason, I felt like my pride was completely gone.

  Chapter 13: Tanner

  All day, yesterday, Ava made it impossible for me to talk to her. Hell, I didn’t even see her for the rest of the day, but I knew she was still there because she was working with the financial department. I tried to nonchalantly ask around for her, but every time I ended up somewhere, she had just walked out. It was extremely irritating. I was going to try to take her to lunch, realizing that our conversation seemed emotionless, and I’d come off pretty cold. The thing was, she had made the decision that she wanted to keep our relationship professional, and I wanted to honor that. It was difficult to not tell her otherwise as she sat across the desk from me, looking gorgeous as always. I held my breath when I asked her if she wanted to switch offices, completely relieved when she said no. I may have sounded cold when I made the remark about too much paperwork, but I couldn’t very well tell her I was glad because I wanted her to be close to me. That would completely negate the whole purpose of the conversation where I was showing her that I could be professional with no hard feelings.

  I looked up as she walked down the hall and into her office. Finally, I was going to be able to talk to her. I stood up and walked over, nonchalantly knocking before entering. As I walked through the door, she glanced up and then back down at her paperwork. I could see her cheeks get red, and I realized that she still didn’t believe that her father and I fighting had nothing to do with what happened between us.

  “Do you want to grab lunch with me? It’s been a while,” I said, smiling.

  “I have too much to do today.” She didn’t even look up from her work.

  “Would you like to go to dinner with me tonight?”

  “That’s sweet, but I can’t,” she replied, still not making eye contact with me.

  “How about tomorrow night?”

  “I have plans,” she said, this time trying to hold back a smile.

  “Is there any chance that you will be available at any point this week to have dinner?”

  “Maybe,” she sighed, putting down her pen and finally looking me in the eye. “I’ll have to check my schedule.”

  It had been a very long time since I had approached a woman and had her turn me down at every pass. I knew that I already technically had hooked up with Ava, but this new attitude was like dealing with another side of her. It was turning me on that she was playing hard to get, and from the look on her face, and that smirk that she was trying to hide, I could tell she knew exactly what she was doing. She wanted to be professional, but she couldn’t deny the pull between us, just like I couldn’t when I started to obsess over not talking to her for a day. That mischievous grin on her face made me want to shut her office door and bend her over the desk, smacking her ass as I fucked her hard and deep.

  I shuffled my stance, slyly adjusting my half-cocked dick. My pants were getting tighter, but I didn’t want her to know that she was having that effect on me. I hadn’t had to chase a woman down since before my ex-wife, and while other men might find it annoying and a waste of time, I found her playfulness refreshing and erotic. She wanted to be in charge, and that alone made my cock stand at attention. However, if she wanted to play games, then games we could play. I sat down in the chair and crossed my legs, watching her as she took a phone call from upstairs. The silence between us was making her anxious, and she was feeling as if that control she thought she had was quickly slipping away.

  I chuckled as she furrowed her brow at me, taking notes from whomever was on the other line. I sat quietly, listening, watching her body movements, glancing at her heaving breasts, and thinking about what my next move was. When she hung up the phone, she tried to ignore that I was sitting across from her, staring. She was fidgeting, and I smiled teasingly, watching her glance up at me from the corner of her eye. She was trying so hard to keep a straight face, and I thought it was adorable. Finally, she took in a deep breath and put her pen down, looking straight over at me, raising her eyebrows. I stood up from the chair, walking over to the door and pausing before I opened it.

  “I’ll see you at my place at eight on Friday. I’ll send a car,” I said.

  I turned the doorknob and walked out of her office, shutting the door behind me before she could say a word back to me. As the door shut, I heard her let out a deep sigh, and I couldn’t help but chuckle to myself. I had really gotten to her, and I found that this game was even more fun than the first one had been. I knew I wasn’t keeping my promise to respect her wishes for a professional relationship, but who was I kidding? I wanted her, and now that she was playing hard to get, I wanted her even more. She acted like she wanted a professional relationship, but that was her way of trying to protect herself and her job. She wanted me around as much as I wanted her around, and it wasn’t some big secret. She was terrible at hiding that fact, and though it was endearing, I was going to show her that she may think she was in charge, but that was only because I let her be. I was taking back the ball this time, and I wasn’t going to take no for an answer. In fact, I wasn’t even going to let her answer.

  I walked down the hall and to the elevator, going to check on the other departments to see how they were doing. As soon as the elevator doors shut, I let out a deep breath, realizing that I was more brazen than I ever thought I could be. This old man still had it, and I wanted to use it on Ava. I didn’t care that my fear of commitment was slapping me in the forehead. I just wanted to make sure Ava didn’t go running off. I did my rounds and came back downstairs, looking over at Ava’s closed door and chuckling to myself as I walked over to my secretary’s desk. She had a couple new messages for me, so I went into my office and returned the important phone calls. Everyone seemed to need something from me that day. No matter what the issue was, I couldn’t stop thinking about Ava, and I didn’t mind it at all.

  When I got off the last call, I leaned back in my chair, opening my email to send responses back that I had neglected to address that morning. As the email loaded, I leaned my head back in my chair and laughed to myself. This was fun, at least it was for now. I had no intention of letting this carry on forever, but I also had no intention of letting Ava go. I opened my eyes and leaned forward, looking at the new messages in my inbox. Suddenly, I froze, staring at a message from Ava’s father, Dean. My mouse hovered over the mess
age for several seconds and fear bubbled up in my stomach. What if he had found out about Ava? That couldn’t be it. I was pretty sure if he found out about Ava, he wouldn’t be sending an email. He would be stomping through the office raising hell and dragging her out of there like a twelve-year-old caught sneaking out. I clicked on the message and began to read.

  Tanner,

  It was offsetting to see you at the polo match after so many years, and my actions toward you may have been unwarranted. I’d like to sit down with you, talk about everything. There is no reason to spend our lives angry at one another. If you are free tonight, pick a place and just let me know when and where and I’ll be there.

  Dean

  I sat back in my chair, at a loss for what to say or do. Dean seemed like he was reaching out, wanting to smash decades of animosity and anger. He had been my best friend for many years, and I loved him like a brother. This email must have taken him a lot to write, knowing how stubborn he was. I couldn’t pass this opportunity by, even if it meant upsetting Ava. I was going to go to dinner with Dean and at least hear him out, and I would tell her the next day, making sure to calm her fears.

  I looked up several restaurants, not used to picking places that weren’t for romantic reasons. I didn’t want to romance Dean. I wanted to have a nice dinner, but make the situation comfortable and inviting. Fine dining was off the table. I knew how much he hated fine dining. He may be an extremely wealthy man, but when it came to food, he liked meat and potatoes. I called up the local steakhouse, Chima, and made a reservation for the two of us. I made sure the table was somewhere relatively private and comfortable, so we could talk openly without having to worry about other people listening in. I also wanted to make sure we had some sort of privacy, so if things got heated, there wasn’t some huge scene to be made.

  When I finished up the reservations, I took a deep breath, the reality of the situation hitting me like a ton of bricks. I didn’t know what made him change his mind, but part of me was excited, while the other part of me was terrified he was going to find out Ava. She was deadly serious about not letting her father know, especially if he was in the mindset of hating my guts like he had been for a couple of decades. I typed out a reply and read it to myself several times before hitting send.

  Dean,

  It’s good to hear from you, and I agree, life is too short to bicker like we did at the polo match. I let my irritation and anger get the best of me as well. I made reservations at Chima at eight tonight. I put them under both of our names, so if you get there before me, you can grab a drink. I look forward to talking.

  Tanner

  It seemed good enough, giving him the boost I knew he was looking for from my apology and being open to talking through our issues. For some reason, there was this weight lifted from my shoulders that I didn’t even realize was there. For the first time since Dean and I went our separate ways, I felt okay with my company, okay with everything I had sacrificed, and didn’t feel angry about anything from the past. It was amazing what one little email could really do. I didn’t want to get my hopes up because there was a good chance we would leave this dinner in a huff, never talking again. But there was also a chance we could leave with a fresh start. That would be good for me, for Dean, and for Ava, because she could finally come clean and not feel so bad about lying to her father. It was an all-around good idea to go to this dinner, and hopefully, it would turn out as good as I felt.

  Chapter 14: Ava

  Talk about frustrating. I had spent the rest of work the day before stewing in my own irritation because Tanner had made plans for dinner on Friday and given me absolutely no choice in the matter. I was supposed to be in charge of all of this. I was supposed to be the one who called the shots when it came to us having any kind of relationship beyond a professional one. However, I couldn’t deny that I found his arrogance almost sexy. I lay in bed that night thinking about how mad I wanted to be, but I couldn’t deny I was extremely turned on. So, turned on, that I considered calling him, but I turned over and forced myself to sleep instead.

  When I woke up, I was groggy and frustrated, more sexually frustrated than anything else. I took a hot shower to wake up and got ready for the day. I wondered what crazy things this day would bring, especially since I couldn’t seem to go even an hour without some kind of drama. When I got to the building, I climbed into the elevator and leaned back against the wall. Before the doors could shut, Tanner shoved his arm in and climbed inside next to me, breathing heavily as if he’d made a run for it. I cleared my throat and smiled at him, moving over to the corner and leaning back. I didn’t want to make a big deal about him being there with me, but his cologne smelled so damn good.

  Instantly, I could feel desire start to raise up to my chest. I crossed my legs at the ankle, feeling the heat coursing between my legs. It was raining outside, and Tanner had water dripping down his neck. I followed as a drop moved from the edge of his hair and slid slowly down his smooth, tanned skin, falling beneath his collar. I imagined it continuing down his large muscled back, his shoulders flexing as it tickled his skin. I rolled my eyes and took a deep breath, leaning back and trying to ignore the fact that I wanted to hit the stop button and fuck him on the elevator. Instead, I ran the pictures of our meeting the other day through my mind to remind myself how cold and collected he could be. Before I could get through them all, I sensed him scoot closer to me. I opened my eyes and looked at him. He was staring at my face, his back pressed against the elevator as well. He looked like he wanted to say something, but I thought if I opened my mouth, he wouldn’t hear anything more than my lust for him and that had to stay buried deep inside of me.

  “I have something to tell you,” he said, looking down. “I met with your father for dinner last night.”

  “What?” My eyes got bigger and I stood up, all lust completely washing out of my system. “Wait, you did what? Say that again, please.”

  “Your father sent me an email yesterday,” he explained. “He apologized for our fight at the polo match and wanted to meet so we could talk. I agreed. It was so good, Ava. We talked through everything that happened between us for the last ten years. We talked about the split of the business, our animosity, our anger, and the fact that we always considered each other family. It was like a weight off both of our shoulders.”

  “Did you tell him I work for you?”

  I was stunned and confused, and I barely knew what to say. That was something he should have told me about. What if he felt so comfortable, he told my father about us, about me, about everything? I couldn’t believe I was standing there having this conversation with him. So much for a morning without any damn drama. It was like I was a pawn in this whole situation and what happened to me made no difference to Tanner. He was looking out for himself at every pass, completely oblivious to how things would affect me.

  I put my face in my hands and groaned, not wanting to hear whatever answer he had. My life was beginning to crumble around me and I was given no choice in any of it. Maybe I should have taken the job in Sweden I was offered instead of this one. Maybe I had made the wrong choice in all of it.

  “Of course not,” he said, turning to me. “That isn’t my business to tell him, but now it might be easier for you. I thought maybe if your father and I were back on good terms, then you could let him know everything and stop feeling guilty for lying to him. I know how much that bothers you.”

  “You want me to tell him I’ve been lying to him this whole time?” I started to get angry. “You want me to tell my father that I betrayed his trust and on top of it all, I was fucking you? Are you out of your goddamned mind? You didn’t think that this was something you might should have warned me about? Like maybe sent me a message or walked across the hall and told me you were having dinner with my father, so I could be prepared. It’s like you don’t ever use your damn brain unless it has to do with business. Lord, this is a mess.”

  “No,” he said shaking his head confused. “I mean, don’t
tell him then. I thought it would be a good way to have a clean start. I don’t mean to hurt your father. I mean to take some stress off you.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said, shaking my head. “I know you didn’t mean any harm, but damn, this just makes everything more complicated, and it adds you to the mix. You just rekindled your friendship with my dad, and now you are going to start it off by keeping something from him.”

  “Nothing about this is simple, Ava,” he said quietly.

  “No shit,” I said.

  As soon as the doors opened, I stomped out of the elevator, not stopping at the lounge. I went straight into my office and slammed the door, leaving him standing in the elevator as if he had actually done something wrong. I was so freaking confused at that moment. He hadn’t told me anything about his dinner plans with my father, nothing. This all could be extremely messy if we didn’t play it safe. Why, after all these years, did he pick now to decide that my father was so damn important to him? Why did he go to dinner like it was top secret and not even give me a heads up? Everything was a damn mess, and I didn’t even know where to start to fix it. Part of me wanted to quit, to say screw it and start over somewhere else. If I was going to lie about this, I could lie about why I left, too. At that point, lies seemed to be the name of the game in my life, either me dishing them out or me receiving them from everyone around me.