When wrong feels so right

by Mia Ford

  “Okay,” she said, nodding her head and smiling before pulling her hand away slowly.

  Relief flooded through me as I stood there looking at this beautiful woman, wondering if I would ever feel her embrace again. I didn’t want her to take a week. I wanted to be selfish and have her there across the hall from me. I wanted to keep her close, so she wouldn’t forget that I cared and that she had feelings for me. That would be selfish, though, and selfish behavior was what got us into that mess in the first place. I knew I had to give her space, let her work it out on her own, even if that meant she distanced herself from me. I cared enough about her that I wanted her to be happy, regardless of whether that included me or not.

  I smiled back at her and stood there for a moment before backing out of the elevator. I waited and watched as the doors shut, my view of Ava completely gone. I felt like I had lost her in that moment, and it was almost too much to take. Leave it to me to completely screw up the first woman I had feelings for since my ex-wife. I was a complete and total mess in everything that I did. I turned and walked back to my office, telling my secretary that I didn’t want to be bothered, and shut the door behind me. I wanted to talk to Dean, try and help him realize how much Ava really loved him.

  I picked up the phone and dialed his number, listening to it as it rang. After the third ring, he sent the call to voicemail and I hung up, frustrated that I couldn’t help in any way. Dean didn’t have to ever forgive me, but he needed to forgive his daughter before she set herself up for failure in her personal life and her career. If he knew what was going on, he would push back a bit and open up to the possibility of forgiving her. I knew he needed time, but it wasn’t something he had the luxury of at that moment.

  I picked the phone back up and called him again, with no answer. However, this time I didn’t just hang up. I listened to the voicemail and at the sound of the beep I took in a deep breath.

  “Dean, I know I am the last person you want to talk to, and that’s fine,” I said to the message. “But your daughter is hurting. She loves you so much, and I’m afraid that she is going to make rash decisions about her life because all she can think about is making things right with you. You don’t have to talk to me, but please consider letting Ava back in your life, before it’s too late.”

  I hung up the phone and tapped my pen on the desk, feeling good that I left the message. At least he would hear the words, even if he refused to call me back. I knew he loved his daughter more than anything in the world, and for him, losing her was worse than losing his wife. I knew that once he calmed down, he would see that reconciling with Ava was vital. After that, though, I had a feeling I wouldn’t be in either one of their lives.

  Chapter 22: Ava

  Having time off sounded like a great idea at first, but only a day later, I was sitting on my couch feeling absolutely miserable. I couldn’t get my father off my mind, and I had called him a dozen times, with no response. All I could do was sit there, wondering what he was thinking, replaying the whole scene over and over again in my mind. There was something that kept nagging me, something I couldn’t quite put my finger on but I knew it had to do with Tanner. He was still on my mind, even after everything, and I needed to stop thinking about him. It should be easy. I should be able to think about all the problems and trouble that we had been through and realize that having him in my life was not what was best for me. Instead, I felt an ache in my heart, a place I was not familiar with, a feeling that I hadn’t had before.

  I took in a deep breath and sighed it out, realizing there was nothing I could do to change how I felt. Maybe time would help, maybe it wouldn’t, but either way, I needed to focus on getting my father back into my life, and my life back into a rhythm. I shook my head and stood up, walking toward the kitchen. As soon as I stepped foot inside, there was a knock at the door, scaring the hell out of me. I turned toward the door, my heart racing. I ran across the room and flung it open, hoping beyond hopes that it was my father. However, as the door creaked open, I stared out at Tanner, standing in the doorway holding a single white rose. I sighed and stepped back, trying not to look too let down. Besides, I had just been thinking about how much I wanted to see him, and there he was, as if he could read my mind.

  “Don’t look too disappointed,” he chuckled.

  “I’m sorry,” I sighed. “I thought you were going to be my father.”

  “Still no word?”

  “Not a peep,” I said looking down.

  “I’m sure that will change soon,” he said in a caring voice.

  I took in a deep breath and followed my eyes from his shoes, up his body and to his muscular chest. I hadn’t noticed when I opened the door that he looked freaking amazing in his suit and tie. Warmth flooded my chest, and I reached up, running my hand across my skin below my neck. It took me completely off guard, but there was no denying that I was lusting after this man extremely hard. He always looked so handsome, so charming, and my mind immediately ran back to the night we spent together at his house and how hot it was.

  “What can I do for you?”

  “I came by to make sure you were doing okay,” he said smiling. “And to be honest, I couldn’t let another day go by without seeing you.”

  “Tanner.” I tried to act like I wasn’t moved by his words, but heat ran up into my cheeks.

  “I know,” he said, interrupting my thought, “everything has been a mess. It really has. But I can’t get you off my mind. I just want to spend a little time with you.”

  “I don’t know,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck. “I mean, every time we get together, something crazy happens.”

  “Just for a little while,” he said, handing me the rose.

  I looked at him and took in a deep breath, unsure if I would have the ability to keep myself under control if I were to let him in. He had come all this way just to spend time with me, something no other man had ever done for me. I mean, who was I kidding? There was no way I was going to turn this man away, no matter how much I hemmed and hawed at the decision. I stepped to the side and shrugged my shoulders, trying to keep a cool demeanor. I reached out and took the flower, bringing it close to my face and breathing in the sweet scent that reminded me of summer in my parent’s garden. I always loved the smell of roses, and it instantly started to put me at ease.

  “Come on in,” I said with a small smile. “I need to break up my thoughts anyway.”

  As he walked past me, I caught a whiff of his cologne, and the wanting in my chest turned to desire, causing me to stumble over my words. He turned back to me as I closed the door, and we stood there for several moments, just staring at each other. I didn’t want to admit it, but deep down inside, I knew he was exactly what I needed right then. I was incredibly upset with him, and utterly confused, but as I stepped toward him, I no longer had control of myself. I dropped the rose on the floor and reached for his arm, pulling him closer to me. Our eyes met and the view of his bedroom stare sent electricity through my chest.

  There was nothing I could do to stop myself. I was already done for. Little did I know that the lust and desire between us would be so strong. I was not prepared, and I immediately fell captive to his large muscular arms and charming smile. He was familiar and light, and I needed him, even if I didn’t want to tell him that. He was someone who brought something positive into my life, even if the events surrounding us were hard to comprehend and were evolving slowly in my mind. He reached out and ran his hand down my cheek, leaning forward and pressing his lips against mine. As soon as our skin touched, it was like we disappeared from the chaos of the world around us, and our desire immediately took over.

  Tanner lunged forward, grabbing me around the waist and lifting me into the air. He sat me down on the couch and pulled my shirt over my head, his face diving down into my breasts as his hands began to wander below the waist line of my pants. I leaned back against the couch and grabbed onto his hair as he flicked his tongue against my nipples. Electricity shot through my body
and soft moans escaped my lips. He sat up with fire in his eyes and grabbed the seat of my pants, yanking them down and tossing them behind him before shedding his own shirt. He pulled my legs apart and grabbed my thighs, pulling my body down as he licked his lips.

  He cracked a small smile as his hands moved up my thighs, and his fingers brushed against my pussy lips. I gasped as he reached forward and pulled my mound open, leaning his head in and running his tongue through my folds and up around my clit. My body stiffened and my hands roamed around my breasts, grabbing them and squeezing as he began to massage my nub with his warm, wet lips. I wanted him so badly, and I could feel myself preparing for the orgasm growing under my skin. His hands moved up further, and he pushed two fingers inside of me, going deep and turning as he pulled them back out.

  “Yes,” I whispered, arching my back.

  “You like that?”

  “Mhmm,” I moaned.

  With the sound of my voice, he began to push his fingers into me faster and faster, moving his mouth over my clit and sucking it hard as I moaned out in ecstasy. He pulled his fingers out and lifted my ass into the air, putting my legs over his shoulders and diving into my wetness. I reached up grasping at anything I could, screaming out as his mouth moved savagely though my juices. God, his tongue felt so good moving in and out of me as his face shook against my pussy. I could feel his breath and low growls as he tugged at my mound, moving his hand down under my ass and finger fucking me with his thumb. I grabbed on to my tits hard, arching my back and writhing on top of him. I could feel my orgasm getting closer, and while I was ready to burst, I didn’t want to stop feeling his mouth on me.

  “Don’t stop,” I screamed out.

  He groaned against my clit, sending waves of pleasure through me and pushing me over the edge I had been teetering on since he walked into the door. My hands flew to the side and I moaned out, grabbing at whatever I could to stabilize myself as my orgasm began to take over. I could feel my thighs squeezing against his face as my body stiffened and then began to shake in his hands. The wave of ecstasy was so strong, I couldn’t even breath, and all that came out of me was a squeak followed by a high-pitched squeal.

  Before I could even think of regaining my composure, he set me down on the couch and flipped me over, pushing me upwards so I was on my knees facing the back of the couch. He stood up, and I could hear him fumbling with his belt and pulling his pants off. I glanced over my shoulders as he yanked his boxers down and crawled up behind me, spreading my knees apart and reaching between my legs, running his fingers through my dripping pussy. He grabbed ahold of his cock and slipped it between my legs, pulling at my waist and sliding his shaft through my wetness and deep inside of me.

  Once he was inside, he leaned his body into mine and wrapped his arm around my waist. He thrust his hips, pulling my entire body with him, barely moving in and out, but feeling his cock go in as far as he could manage. I gripped down on the couch and leaned my body into it, pushing my ass out. He slid his hand back to my hips and began to move fast and hard, his body slamming against mine. I released with one hand and slid it down between my legs, massaging my clit as I looked back at him, finding his lips with mine.

  He groaned into my mouth, not stopping his rhythm. He pushed a few more times before growling and throwing me down on my back, pulling my legs over his shoulders and pushing back into me. I screamed out as he thrust his hips forward over and over, our bodies writhing against each other. I could feel another orgasm reaching the edge of my lust, and I grabbed my legs, pulling them up toward my head. He fucked me harder, looking down at my bulging pussy as his skin slapped against my clit. I could see his breathing increase, and he closed his eyes, pushing and pulling until he couldn’t any longer.

  As he pushed in one last time and leaned forward, grinding his body against mine, I released, arching my back and moaning as the waves of orgasm took me over. He groaned, trying to hold on to his own but giving in, pulling his hips hard against me and releasing, letting the pleasure move through his entire body. I could feel his cock pulsing inside of me from the base to the tip and it was the most erotic feeling I had ever had. I watched as his body shook and glistened above me, the pressure and desire from moments before pushed aside as he took in every moment of his orgasm.

  This was definitely not expected, but it was a hell of a lot better than daytime television.

  Chapter 23: Tanner

  When I headed out to go to Ava’s place that day, I had no intention of immediately falling into bed with her, but when I walked into the house, it was like the desire between us was so intense that I couldn’t think of anything else. She was so freaking gorgeous, even sitting there in her pajamas, messy hair, and no makeup. Actually, it was probably the most beautiful I had ever seen her. I didn’t know what any of this meant, but I was not going to let the opportunity to get her back in my arms pass me by. Ava was this amazing creature that I couldn’t get away from, no matter how hard I tried. I thought about her day and night, her sensual curves, beautiful face, and amazing body constantly plaguing me, even at the most inopportune times. She was pretty much the most amazing thing I had ever seen, and no matter what I did to divert these feelings, I couldn’t pull myself back.

  I stood up and smiled as Ava caught her breath. She bit her lip and laughed, shaking her head back and forth. I pulled on my pants and shirt and reached down to help her up. She pulled herself into my arms, her naked skin touching my hands. She stretched up on her toes and kissed my lips, smiling, before turning and pulling her pajama’s back on. I didn’t want to her to get dressed, but I knew we couldn’t lay around all night naked. Though there was a brief moment where I considered bringing up the prospect.

  Once we were dressed, I pulled her close again, kissing her lips. As they parted, and our eyes met, there was a knock at the door. I could feel her muscles tense as she looked up at me, confusion rolling across her face. She ran her hands over her hair and tiptoed barefoot across the floor. She leaned forward and peered into the peephole, freezing and looking back at me with panic. I knew exactly what was going on. She didn’t even need to say it.

  “My dad,” she mouthed. “Fuck!”

  I pulsed my hands up and down to tell her to calm down, panicking was not going to help anything at that moment. She immediately started to bite her nails, walking back over to me, her face changing from blissful to panicked really fast. I kissed her forehead and smiled, knowing that though it was a strange time, she had been looking forward to her father finally coming over since all of the drama had started. I couldn’t let her be too worried about it at that point.

  “Who is it?” She looked over at me and started to grab the rest of my clothes.

  “It’s your dad,” he said.

  “Hi, Daddy,” she yelled. “Can you give me just a minute?”

  “Take your time,” he said.

  She piled my shoes and socks in my arms and looked at me, not knowing what to say or do. I knew I needed to go, hide somewhere, but I wanted to know that she was calm and prepared before I went. This was the perfect opportunity for her to patch things up with her father, even maybe tell him about us. I could tell there was an us, not because of the sex but because of how we were together at every turn. It was like we needed each other, and we only recently realized it.

  “Take a deep breath,” I whispered. “Everything will be okay. I will go hide out in your bedroom for a while. I don’t want to cause any more issues between you and your father. He’s sure to run off if he sees me here.”

  “Thank you,” she whispered, looking relieved.

  She reached up one last time and kissed me softly on the lips, lingering for a moment to feel me close to her. I wanted so badly to stand by her side, be there for her through this, but after what had happened at my place, it would only make things worse. At that moment, the best thing for me to do was get out of sight but just around the corner, hoping she could feel my support through the walls. Maybe this was a good thing, an op
portunity for everything to be set back on track. There was definitely too much stress in both of our lives, and I knew that if she had her father’s blessing, she would feel much better about everything. Then again, I wasn’t sure Dean was ready to give any kind of blessings when it came to me. He pretty much hated me, and I could feel the aftereffects of that hate still lingering in my jaw from when he punched me. I hadn’t told Ava that part and didn’t plan on ever doing so. I truly cared for her, which meant it was my responsibility to not let her be hurt, and seeing her father in that light was definitely a way to hurt her.

  I walked into the bedroom and closed the door, looking back at Ava one last time. I hadn’t remembered ever seeing her place in the daylight, and her bed looked incredibly comfortable. However, not knowing what kind of noise it may make, I opted to sit on the floor, my back pressed against the inner walls. I could hear Dean’s voice as Ava let him into the apartment. The sounds were muffled for a few minutes and then I heard Ava invite him to sit down. Their conversation was calm and full of love. It was very obvious that he was hurt, but at the same time, so was she. This wasn’t as cut and dry as she thought it was, I could tell.

  “I love you, Ava,” Dean said.

  “I love you, too, Daddy,” she said. “I never meant to hurt you. I was doing what I thought was right for my career, for my personal life, but all the while feeling like the walls were closing in on me every time I had to lie to you. I never wanted that to be the way.”