When wrong feels so right

by Mia Ford

  I looked up as Ava knocked on the doorframe, her clothes pressed but her hair pulled back and giant sunglasses covering her eyes. She reached up and pushed her glasses up on her head, revealing her tired and puffy eyes. I could tell that she had one hell of a hangover, and I tried my best to hide the smirk trying to creep over my lips. I sat up in the chair and motioned for her to come in. She pulled herself from the door frame and walked in, closing the door behind her, and wobbling slightly as she walked.

  “Wow,” I said with a chuckle. “How was your night last night?”

  “Ugh,” she groaned. “Full of liquor and anger. You know, the normal.”

  “Why were you all alone outside when you called me?”

  “I was dancing on the dance floor, lost in the music, and this guy hit on me,” she said shaking her head. “So, I left.”

  Instantly, without warning jealously blew through me like wind. I gripped down on the chair arms and looked down at my computer screen, trying not to show her how much that bothered me. Why was she telling me this? To make me jealous? I didn’t even know how to respond to it, and I could tell she was not realizing what it sounded like. I took in a deep breath and relaxed my muscles, knowing that I needed to cool down. Even if it did bother me that a guy was hitting on her, obviously, she didn’t go home with him since she called me after leaving the club. Still, just the idea of some other man’s hands on her made me want to break something, or someone. I cleared my throat and glanced up at her, but she was too hungover to even realize that I was struggling with the thought of another man. I was thankful since I was trying to keep my composure. I took in a deep breath to say something, anything to clear the silence, but before I could respond she leaned forward and began to speak.

  “I didn’t like it,” she said. “I didn’t like another man anywhere near me. Just his proximity to me made me miss you terribly, even after trying to drink your memory out of my head.”

  “Really?” I was taken back by her words, but not because she felt that way, more because she was being honest about it.

  “Yeah,” she sighed. “I went straight to Brianna’s yesterday when I left here, and though I didn’t want to go to the club, I didn’t know what else to do to get you out of my head. I missed everything about you and that guy’s cologne made me want to run away in tears, which was pretty much what I did. He probably thought he had an odor problem or something.”

  “Serve’s him right,” I said angrily. She looked up and smiled, finally noticing the jealousy that I was no longer trying to hide.

  She was being open and honest with me, even after how I had reacted to her the day before. I could see a desperation in her eyes that showed me she knew this was her last chance to talk to me about this, to make me want to forgive her. There was something about her that just melted me right there in my office chair. I should have been angry about that, having spent days building up a wall against any more heart break but I wasn’t. In fact, the feeling of anger leaving was a weight off my chest, and I felt like I could finally breathe again.

  “Ava,” I said leaning forward. “Don’t do this. Don’t leave. I want you to stay with the company. There is so much here for you, and it would be stupid of you to walk away now. You were even brought up during the executive meeting earlier, and they couldn’t get enough of you. You are a jewel and important to everyone here.”

  “I don’t know,” she said looking sad. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I can come here every single day and look across the hall and see your face. I don’t know if I can keep my emotions away, always feeling like I need to make it up to you. I just don’t know what the right choice is.”

  I sat there staring at her, not knowing what to do or say, but I knew I couldn’t let her go. I couldn’t let her walk away from this job, from everything, and from me. I started to doubt myself, feeling that I had lost control again, but this time I didn’t care anymore. I just wanted to have the right words come to me so that I could convince her to stay, to be there across the hall from me. I couldn’t promise her it wouldn’t be hard seeing each other every day, but that was not my worry at that point. My worry was that she was going to walk away, and I would never see her again, left without her expertise at MJ, and without her presence in my life. I had never felt fear like that before over a woman, and it was making me think about things I would have never thought about when I was single for the last decade. I wanted to be completely unselfish, needing her to be happy and well.

  “Look,” I said leaning forward. “It’s obvious that I want to see you all the time, that hasn’t changed. But I’m asking you to stay for more than just selfish reasons. I want you to stay because there is so much opportunity here for you. The merger is here, and if you are part of that, you can go anywhere with your career. No one your age can say they were part of the leadership team in a multibillion-dollar merger. It is just unheard of, but you are the best person for the job. I don’t want you to miss out on that because you are unsure of us. Please, don’t do that. Take the weekend and really think about what you want, don’t just make a rash decision.”

  She sighed and put her hands up to her face, stressing out by the amount of choices she was facing. She was so beautiful, and I wanted nothing more to go over to her and wrap my arms around her. She was the woman I wanted, no matter what decision she made, but I couldn’t say that, not yet. I needed to let her make this decision for herself. It was so difficult, though, and I couldn’t help but think about my life without her in it. Just the thought made me feel sick to my stomach, and I began to panic, thinking she was going to make the wrong decision. I didn’t know what the wrong decision for her was, though, only knowing that if she left, it would be the wrong decision for me.

  Instantly, I felt the panic growing stronger and stronger. I stood up from my stool and walked around the desk, pulling Ava up from her chair. She looked at me with confusion in her eyes as I stared at her, my face crumpled in fear. I had never felt this way about any woman before in my life, and I knew that if I walked away from this now, never showing her how much I cared, I would regret it for the rest of my life. I pulled her in and hugged her tightly, feeling her body go from stiff to relaxed as she leaned into me. It felt so good to feel her near me, to have her breathing close to my chest. At that moment, I knew there was no way that I could let her go without a fight.

  “I’m not asking you,” I whispered. “I’m begging you. Please don’t leave. Stay with me. Stay here at the company. Stay in my life. I don’t care in what way.”

  She pulled back and looked at me with surprise, assuming I would never reach that level. In all reality, I never thought I would reach that level either, but it was like my heart wouldn’t allow my brain to be embarrassed about it at all. She looked at me, breathing hard, thinking about my words, her face softening. A small smile moved across her lips, and she shook her head.

  “I don’t know what to say,” she whispered. “That was more than anyone has ever said to me before.”

  “You don’t need to say anything at this point,” I said, pulling her back toward me.

  I leaned down and tipped her chin toward me, pressing my mouth against hers and kissing her passionately. She reached her arms around my neck and hung there, allowing me to taste her skin, move my lips over hers, and rub my arms over her back. This seemed exactly perfect, more perfect than I had realized before, and I never wanted to let Ava go.

  I had spent my entire life, looking forward, fighting through the rough patches to get to where I wanted to be. My company was almost taking over itself at that point, and my life was becoming less and less stressful. I hadn’t thought about starting a life outside of work for a very long time, but with Ava in my life, it seemed like I wasn’t going to have a chance to make any other decision.

  I could feel her breathing heavily as I moved my lips over her mouth, across her cheek and down her neck. She moaned softly in my ear, and I went from desperate to prove to her she needed to stay to turn
ed on and ready to show her just how much she needed to stay, for personal reasons. I took a deep breath and moved my hands up to her face, cradling it in my hands. I looked deep in her eyes and stood there, showing her without words how much I wanted her. She reached forward and gripped onto my shirt with her fists, pressing her abdomen against my crotch, rubbing up and down. I groaned, trying to keep my cool, but just having Ava touching me was setting me off.

  I couldn’t keep my hands off her, and though this started as a desperate attempt to keep her at the company, it had quickly turned into an opportunity to show her just how much I wanted her. I looked over at the desk and back at her, curling my lips into a smile. This was one of my biggest fantasies.

  Chapter 28: Ava

  When Tanner looked me in the eye, I was done for. When he told me the truth, begged me to stay, I melted into a puddle at his feet, remembering how much I loved him. His kiss was loving but quickly turned passionate, and when he glanced over at the desk, I couldn’t help but feel electricity shooting through my chest. I reached up and kissed him hard and deep, allowing his hands to fall to my sides and grasp onto my skirt. Slowly he began to pull my skirt up, exposing my thigh high stockings and my black satin panties. I moaned quietly as he pulled it all the way up to waist, running his hand across my panties, and groping at my wetness. He stepped forward, moving my body with his strong arms, and pushing me up against the desk. I lifted myself into a sitting position and spread my legs open, running my hand down the huge bulge in his pants.

  I pushed back on his desk, moving the papers behind me and pulling my knees up. I pushed him backward and he fell into the chair, smiling mischievously at me. I bit my bottom lip and pulled my panties aside, slowly rubbing my fingers through my folds, feeling my juices flowing. He groaned rubbing his cock through his pants and staring down at my pussy. I took my fingers and put them in my mouth, sucking on them deeply before pushing them inside of myself.

  “Yes,” he groaned, watching me finger myself.

  “You, too,” I said smiling. “Pull out your cock.”

  A huge grin began to spread across his face as he unbuckled his pants, pulled his zipper down, and reached into his boxers. He groaned loudly as he pulled his cock from his pants and ran his hand up and down the shaft. It was so hard and red, and I could tell he wanted to fuck the hell out of me. I stared down as he fisted his cock softly, watching intently as my fingers moved in and out of my juices. I reached up with my other hand and began to rub my clit, leaning my head back and biting my lip, trying not to be too loud. The heat in my stomach grew with every stroke of his cock. I loved to watch him watch me. I loved to feel his eyes on me and know how much he wanted me. Just knowing the pleasure between his palms was waiting to push into me, made me move my fingers faster over my nub.

  As I pushed in and out of myself with my fingers, I could feel myself falling over the edge of pleasure as he began to fist his cock, leaning forward licking his lips. I pulled my fingers out and wrapped my hand over my mouth, muffling the sounds of my screams as my other had rubbed my clit over the edge. My back arched and I rolled my eyes back, moaning into my hand. I could hear Tanner standing from his chair and felt his fingers enter me, pushing my pleasure to new heights. As my orgasm began to slow, he grabbed my thighs and pulled me off the desk, turning me around and pushing me down on the desk

  Tanner’s hands grasped me around the waist and he spread my legs apart. I could feel the animal magnetism surging through his body as he leaned forward, ramming his cock deep inside of me. I bit down on my fist as he filled me completely, his huge cock pulsing in and out of my pussy. He reached up and slapped my ass, causing me to lurch, trying not to let loose and scream out in ecstasy. His cock felt so good banging into my body over and over again. I could hear him grunting softly as he thrust his hips into me.

  I reached across the desk and grasped onto the sides, trying to strengthen myself, keeping the desk from shaking and moving. Tanner reached around and ran his hand between my legs, running his fingers around my clit. I tilted my hips upward, opening up for him to push deeper and harder, wanting so badly to moan out loud, and let him hear just how good he felt. He grabbed my hips and began to smack into me, no longer giving a shit about who might hear us. I moaned loudly into my arm, allowing him to hear just enough to stay secret. He groaned into my shoulder as he slapped into me, lifting my feet slightly from the floor with each thrust.

  “God,” he groaned. “I’m gonna come.”

  “Yes,” I moaned out. “I want to feel you. Fuck me harder.”

  He growled and sat up slamming into me as hard as he could, feeling his cock begin to harden and pulse inside of me. I reached down with one hand and rubbed my clit feverishly, wanting to feel this orgasm rock my body. As my fingers danced across my nub, and his cock slid deep inside of me, I pulled my head upward and moaned with my mouth closed, feeling the juices in my pussy explode around his shaft.

  “Fuck, yes,” he moaned as he thrust several more times before grabbing my waist and pushing deep inside.

  The waves of pleasure washed over my body, and I could feel his cock begin to twitch in my pussy. He pushed into me further and further until he tucked his head into my neck and groaned loudly in my ear. His fingers dug into my sides when he erupted in pleasure. Our bodies tensed against each other’s and while my pussy vibrated wildly around his cock, he gave my wetness the same treatment. After several moments, we both began to quiet, the waves of pleasure dissipating. He slowly pulled out of me, kissing my back and shuffling backward, his pants still around his ankles.

  I groaned as I pulled myself up off the desk and pulled my skirt back down, grabbing onto the desk to catch my wobbly knees. Tanner looked up and laughed as I stumbled around, completely caught off balance from that amazing sex. He tucked in his shirt and walked over to me, smoothing the fly away hairs down to my head. He grabbed me around the waist and pulled me in, kissing me passionately on the lips. It felt so damn perfect, and I could no longer ignore the feeling in the pit of my stomach. When he pulled back I looked up at him and smiled.

  “Is this how you get what you want?”

  “Did it work?” He laughed and kissed me again.

  “I know one thing, I can check off fucking on the office desk, something I always wanted to do,” I smiled. “Not that I wouldn’t do it again, just saying.”

  “You dirty girl,” he said biting his lip.

  “I say we do the copy room next,” I said, laughing. “Get some good pictures as you pound me.”

  “Can I hang them on the lost document board?”

  I leaned my head back and laughed, pulling him into me. He smelled so amazing, and I pressed my head against his chest, taking in a deep breath. There was something so freaking sexy about him, and how he handled himself. The last thing I imagined when I came to his office was having hot sex on his desk. He had been so open and honest with how he wanted me to stay, and my feelings for him just freed me from any guilt. I still wasn’t sure what I was doing, but I did know that it felt good and I was going to go with it as long as I could.

  “That was unexpected,” he said.

  “It was,” I replied. “But it was a happy surprise. I missed your scent, your feel, your arms around me. I have been up for days thinking about you. I haven’t been able to get past any of this. I am glad my father is back in my life, but I never meant to have you leave it. After spending this time apart, I realized just how strongly I felt for you. I want to make sure that we are honest with each other from this moment forward.”

  “I agree,” he said. “Our relationship has gotten out of control, and it was ruined by all the secrets and lies. I don’t want any more lies, even with Dean. I want to make sure we’re on each other’s side instead of working against each other. I know that everything was very stressful for you when your father showed up, but I never want to be in that situation again with either one of you. You are so special, so beautiful, and I have been completely lost thinking that I
was going to completely lose you from my life.”

  “I don’t want to go anywhere,” I said, hugging him tightly. “I just have never felt this close or attached to anyone in my life. I honestly need you in every way possible.”

  “So where does that leave us?”

  I stood there and looked up at his charming smile, unable to even think about walking away from him at that point. We already knew that the most important thing was to be honest with each other, which should eliminate a lot of the stress in our relationship. However, I still had my father to think about, and because of me, he thought I wasn’t seeing Tanner anymore. It was the last lie that needed to be cleared up, and it was going to be a tough one because I had already made up with my dad. Either way, I needed to make things right with him to feel comfortable about dating Tanner at all.

  “I don’t know,” I said. “I need to straighten all of this out with my father. He deserves honesty as much as we do toward each other.”

  “I agree,” he said smiling. “Dean deserves that respect, especially after everything we’ve put him through.”

  “Okay,” I said taking in a deep breath and stepping back. “I am going to go ahead and take the rest of the day off like I was originally going to do anyway. I need to formulate my plan to talk with my father.”