When wrong feels so right

by Mia Ford

  This will just be what it is, one night of meaningless, random fun.

  Perfect.

  Chapter 6 – Brandon

  “So, what do you think, boss?” Hank, the site foreman says to me in a gruff, firm tone of voice “Everything look as you want it to be? Plans all good? Any comments you have?”

  “Hmm, what?” I hate to admit it but my mind is elsewhere. I want to concentrate on this job because much as I didn’t like to be the one to take it on, I need to do a good job. If I’m going to work I need to forget Lola and her soft kisses, her lovely skin, the feel of her body underneath me… it’s challenging to think of anything but her. “Sorry, yes. The plan, looks great. Thank you for getting them all together for me, I really appreciate it.”

  I glance down at the paper and try to visualize the drawing coming to life in front of me. It looks great but now I can see it through very different eyes. Now that I’ve seen more of the town I can see how it won’t fit in and how it might ruin the quaint experience people get in this town. But then again I’m not powerful enough to start putting my emotions before my business. My dad just won’t hear of it. All I can hope is that I can do a good job.

  “Okay great, well I’ll get my men on it now. I think Archie might have a break down of the predicted costs if that’s something that you want to look at as well.”

  “Yep, sounds great. Let’s do this.”

  As we walk to where Archie has his desk set up I fire off a text to my dad. I don’t know how much detail he wants to know about all of this, but I want to keep him up to date anyway. Just in case. I hold my cell phone out for a moment, just waiting for a reply, but I get nothing.

  “So how you enjoying the small town life?” Hank asks as we walk. “I bet it’s a bit different from the big ol’ city isn’t it?” He says this as a joke, as if the city is worse, and I actually think he might believe it. “Bet you can hardly sleep in the quiet.”

  “The city isn’t that far away,” I tell him with a smirk. “What is it, like an hour or two in the car? And to be fair I’ve only been here a short while so it’s fine.”

  “I bet your problem is the lack of girls. A guy like you, must have them all over you.”

  I can’t even begin to consider the irony of this remark. Since being here I’ve met the only girl to not bore me as soon as we’ve slept together. Hours have passed and still all I can think about is her. Instead of getting into this with a man I don’t know and I have to work with for the next few months, I don’t say anything. That’s something I’ve found in business, sometimes saying nothing is much better than doing anything.

  “Right, Archie.” I take my seat next to him, trying my hardest to just get my damn head in the game already. “Let’s get these numbers crunched, shall we? Work out where we’re headed with this one?”

  As he starts to talk me through the financial side of things, I discretely check the screen of my cell phone but I still have nothing from my father. It makes me feel a bit insignificant that he can’t even be bothered to reply to me, not even a yes. He’s always on his phone, sending texts, firing off emails, searching, connecting… I know he’s seen my message, he just doesn’t care enough to reply. Again I’m filled with the sense that I’m a disappointment. That always comes from Dad. I don’t even know if he means to do it or if it’s just his way, but it really does irritate me whatever the case. The rest of the world sees my worth, it’s only him.

  I wish I had thought to get Lola’s number, then I could send her a cheeky text to get me through the day. She too, I know is going to be super busy on the farm all day long. I wish I could talk her through it.

  Still, maybe there is something I can do. I know we don’t have any plans for tonight but that doesn’t mean I can’t see her again. Maybe I can even do something nice for her as well. I can head to the grocery store and get some food, cook her a meal. Maybe I don’t know too much about her yet, but she seems like the sort of person who gives and gives without expecting anything back. Maybe it’s time for someone to make her feel special.

  That someone can be me!

  ***

  “Hey there,” a brassy haired blonde with bright red lips says as she leans in towards me. “You must be new here, right?”

  She’s older than me, but that’s hardly surprising. I often attract a bit of a cougar. I’m not quite sure what it is they find so attractive about me, but they do. I usually don’t mind an older woman, I think they expect much less from me. They know what ‘just sex’ is, and they’re happy for that. I’m not interested today though, I only have one thing in mind.

  “Yeah I am new. I’ve just come to pick up some groceries.” Maybe my tone is a little colder than I’d like it to be, I just don’t want there to be any misconception here. Sometimes I’ve been known to accidently flirt. “Is this all you have here?”

  “Sure is.” She pops her gum loudly. “We just get what we get and have to make do. What is it you’re after?”

  I sigh loudly. I’m not much of a big chef, but I do know how to make a good Coronation Chicken but I don’t think I’ll be able to get everything I need here. It might have to be a pasta bake and cheap wine night. Not the way I’d like to treat a lady I actually have interest in, but what else can I do?

  “Erm no, I think I got it,” I huff out. “Thanks though.”

  “I take it you’re a part of that big new development thing?” she continues, not taking the hint that I’m not interested. She leans over the counter while pushing her cleavage together. This gives me a better view of her name badge which reads Erica. “Are you the one in charge?”

  “I am.” I brace myself as I run my eyes over the shelves. I wait for the onslaught, similar to what I go from Lola, but somehow it doesn’t come.

  “Cool,” she says simply instead.

  As I glance at her out the corner of my eyes I realize why. She’s one of those people who doesn’t care enough about anything to have an opinion. She’s more than happy to just let things happen around her. That makes her life content, but without any fire. Lola is nothing like that. I think that’s what attracts me to her, she stands out in so many ways.

  Despite the fact that I know I might be treading on thin ice, I decide to delve in and do a bit of digging. From what I’ve learned in life you can tell a lot about a person from what others have to say about them… even if it isn’t all true.

  “So, do you know Lola Boots? I went to see her singing last night. She seems pretty talented.”

  The woman’s face turns into a glowering expression which suggests she doesn’t like me discussing another female in front of her. "She’s okay, I suppose,” she tells me pettily. “Everyone thinks she should be famous, but she can’t be because she has to care for her dad.”

  My blood runs cold, I realize my mistake. I’ve already decided that I don’t want to pry until she wants to share things with me, but it seems I’ve done that by mistake anyway. I press my lips tightly together, trying desperately to keep any other words inside, but Erica doesn’t take my silence as a plea for her not to continue. Subtle hints are obviously not her strong point.

  “And after losing her mom so young, I guess she feels that she doesn’t have a choice but to stick around to run the farm as her dad’s MS gets worse. She doesn’t want him to lose the only home that he’s ever known. The link to her mom too I suppose. It’s all a bit sad, really.”

  I don’t know what she’s trying to achieve here. Maybe she thinks I’ll start seeing Lola as someone to be pitied rather than attracted to, but it doesn’t work. It just makes me see how big her heart is. I knew that she worked on the farm, but she didn’t tell me that she runs it to keep her dad happy. I know she sticks around for him, she told me that without even needing to use words, but I didn’t know she was his care giver. This just makes me want to treat her more, it makes me want to make our time together, however short it might be, even more special. I know now more than ever how much she deserves it.

  “Right, we
ll this is what I’m going to get,” I say while dumping a selection of things on the counter. “Thank you for… you know, talking with me.”

  She scans the items, still popping her gum. “You interested in Lola?” she asks briskly. “Because if you are I think you should know you’re barking up the wrong tree. She very much keeps to herself. A couple of the guys have tried to crack on with her, all with no luck. She’s just… I don’t know, empty, I suppose.”

  I don’t say anything, even though the words are bursting to get out of my mouth. Clearly these guys, whoever they might be, were nothing compared to me. That’s why I was the one who managed to win her over in just a few short hours.

  “Maybe they just weren’t the ones for her,” I say through gritted teeth. “Maybe she’s waiting for the one.”

  “Oh come off it,” Erica scoffs. “No one believes in the one. We all just settle for someone we can put up with, that’s all. You aren’t idiotic enough to believe in all that crap, are you?”

  “No,” I admit as I hand over some bills to pay for the food. “I don’t. Not really.”

  It takes me a few more moments, but eventually I manage to tear myself away from Erica and her reasons for why we all just settle – a lecture I find very depressing actually – and I start the walk over to the farm. It isn’t far because everything is close together in this place, which also eliminates a lot of the traffic. That’s one good thing, I suppose. On the journey over I can’t stop smiling to myself at the thought of seeing her face again. She’ll be surprised to see me, I know that much, I just hope it’s a pleasant shock.

  I spot her long before she sees me and I’m stunned with how rapidly my body reacts to her as she stands with a hoe in one hand and petting one of the sheep from the farm with the other. She isn’t in her sexy hot pants today, she had what looks like sweat pants covering her sexy, luscious legs, but she is wearing a checked shirt and an actual cowgirl hat which is interesting. I might have to get her to wear the whole outfit for me at some point, if she’s feeling particularly kinky…

  “Lola!” I cry out happily to her. “I’m here. How are you doing?”

  Chapter 7 – Lola

  What the…?

  I turn in shock to see the man I’ve been daydreaming about all day long smiling back at me as he clutches onto to carrier bags in his hands. He’s like something from a damn fantasy staring back at me with those warm, inviting eyes, chiseled cheekbones, and broad shoulders. All I want is for him to wrap me up in those arms of his once more. I love the sensation of him towering over me, taking control of my body, making me feel the things that I didn’t even realize I’d shut off.

  “You’re here,” I gasp in shock with my hand clutching in shock to my chest.

  “You sound surprised.” He cocks his head and examines me through narrowed eyes.

  I don’t know how to tell him without offending him that I am surprised that he’s back. Much as last night was amazing, and the best night of my life, there was never any suggestion between us that it was going to be more than a one time thing. But if I say that aloud, I’m basically calling him a man whore. I don’t know how well that will go down!

  “I just have to finish up here,” I change the subject instead. “I hope that’s okay? It shouldn’t be too much longer.” I glance down at myself and cringe when I see how grubby I am from a long, hard day in the dirt. It certainly isn’t my best look! “Sorry, I wasn’t expecting company.”

  He leans down and gives me a soft and gentle kiss on my lips. It’s so romantic that my heart flutters as we connect. “I have brought some food and I wanted to use your kitchen to make you something for dinner, if you don’t mind?” He sends me a wink so I know his comment is made in jest… not that I feel offended anyway. I know my kitchen is basic, that’s just how I like it. “You’ll have time to finish up here, have a shower if you want, maybe even check in on your dad if needs be…”

  I freeze. Does he know that my dad is sick? The whole town knows, it isn’t one of those things that can be kept secret, but I know that my father is a proud man who wouldn’t want everyone to be talking about him. This illness he has kills him mentally more than anything else. It just isn’t right. His pride is the main reason he still lives alone and I’m in the cottage. I’m near, so I can help him, but he doesn’t feel like a burden on my life.

  “What do you mean?” I ask slowly and carefully. It’s instantly obvious from the expression on his face that he knows. “Who told you?”

  His eyes flicker downwards towards the ground before he answers me, but at least what he says is honest. He knows that I won’t like it, but he says it anyway which makes him quite a rare breed. The men I know, even Rory to an extent, will just say what they think you want to hear. The honesty is refreshing.

  “Erica, from the shop, but I promise I wasn’t asking after you. I just mentioned that I saw you playing and she started spouting all this stuff.”

  Erica… someone I barely know. I don’t even speak to her much more than a ‘hello’ when I go into the store, but she thinks that she has a right to tell a stranger these private things about me. That’s what I hate about everyone knowing everything, they think my life is their own too. Sometimes it’s nice, but sometimes it’s suffocating.

  “I’m sorry,” Brandon says again, making me realize that I’m pumping my fists by my sides in sheer anger. “I didn’t mean to involve myself, I know it isn’t right.”

  “It’s not your fault,” I reply through gritted teeth. “Actually it’s fine. It doesn’t matter. I do need to pop to see Dad anyway. Maybe I’ll take a shower at his and be back down shortly.” I dip my hand into my pocket and pull out my keys. “You go inside, help yourself to whatever you need and I’ll be there soon.”

  He takes the keys from me and walks away. As he goes I wonder if he’s only here as part of a pity thing. He was in the shop before Erica said anything, buying food for this meal I presume, but what if now he sees me as something different? Part of the reason I enjoyed spending time with him last night was because he didn’t know my story – only the bits I decided to share with him. He didn’t see me as anything other than a sexy woman who was worthwhile, who he found desirable.

  Now, that might have changed and I don’t know what I’m going to about it.

  “Well, Betty,” I say to my favorite sheep, the one who won’t be going to the slaughter house ever, no matter how bad things get. “I don’t know what’s going to happen now. I suppose I should give him a chance though, right? I should try and find out?” Betty doesn’t answer me, but of course she isn’t going to. She’s a damn sheep after all! “Let’s get you sorted then I can go and have a shower, get myself all mentally prepared for this craziness.” I sigh deeply. “I don’t think I’ll tell Dad about Brandon though, not yet. I don’t know how I feel about all of this and it’s bound to only be short term since he doesn’t even live here. There’s no point, is there, Betty? I don’t want to worry him over nothing.” I stare at her and nod as if she’s answered me. “Right, thanks for that advice. You’re the best friend a girl could ask for, even if you are a sheep who hasn’t actually said anything yet. Let’s go, I can’t put this off any longer. Time to have what I suppose is date number two…”

  ***

  I feel a whole lot better once I’ve checked on my dad and washed myself up. More human, I suppose, and more ready to face what might be happening with Brandon head on. All day long he’s been swimming through my mind, I’ve been thinking about how good it felt to be with him and how I want to do it again, but I certainly didn’t think it’s happen.

  “Ooh, my goodness, what are you cooking?” I ask as I push the door to my home open and I inhale the wonderful aromas that fill my nose. “Smells delicious.”

  “It’s nothing exciting,” Brandon replies as he plates up. “It’s basically just chicken, boiled potatoes, and vegetables, but I had to work with what’s available in the shops.”

  “Yeah.” I take my seat and look up a
t him. “It isn’t very well stocked, is it? You’ve done well though. When did you learn to cook?”

  He pauses for a moment and sits opposite me. As he steels himself for what he’s going to say next I recognise the look in his eyes well. He’s about to say something that he doesn’t talk about much. Obviously, I get that because I often feel the same way when I have to discuss anything related to my life.

  “Actually, I learned when I was fifteen years old, just after my mother ran off with one of my school friends.”

  “What?” I interject, sounding more shocked than maybe I should. “I mean, wow… that’s dreadful. That’s just really awful.”

  “It is what it is.” He shrugs, trying to act blasé but I can see right in to the depths of his soul. I can see this still sings even now. “She didn’t want to be with me and my father then and I guess it’s a decision that she’s happy with since she’s still with him now. As far as I know anyway, all I’m really aware of is the odd bits I see online.”

  “You don’t talk to her anymore?” I reach across and rest my hand on his. In a way, this is something we have in common. He must feel like he’s lost his mother in a similar way to me.

  “No, I don’t. I haven’t since then.” His tone is tight and hard. “It’s just been me and my father, and since he’s always been at work, and even losing his wife and becoming a single father didn’t change him, I had to be independent.”

  “Is that why you work for him now?” I’m prying, I know it, but I’m just so interested to learn more about him.