When wrong feels so right

by Mia Ford

  ***

  A long hour passes before I get off the phone, but after the call I feel much better. Deborah has reassured me that Grant will speak with me soon so I know where I stand when it comes to him. She was kind as well, I didn’t sense even a moment of judgement in her tone which is what I need right now. Once I have finally ended the call, I rub my eyes and let out a deep sigh of relief.

  “Right,” I mutter to myself. “Time to go.”

  Just before I leave, I find myself drawn to the photo of my parents that I can stand to look at. Since I lost them three years ago, maybe I should be more over it now, but I’m not at all. The senseless, needless way they were stripped from the world still crushes me painfully every single day. I grab the photo off the shelf and I run my finger idly along my mother’s face. She has dark hair, just like mine, and a bright, beaming smile. I recognize a lot of myself in her, which only makes me miss her even more. My mother was warm, kind hearted, and would do anything for anyone. There’s no reason at all her wonderful soul should have been taken from this Earth.

  Then there’s my dad. I don’t look much like him, aside from the green eyes and tall stature, but I get my fierce ambition from him. That’s why all of this failure hits harder and why I definitely can’t take the easy way out and get a buyer. I inherited this business from him, before then I was merely an employee, and I need to make it a success. When I got it from him, it was a low level start up tech company and I made it explode. Of course, as Barry said, I pushed too hard and I expanded too quickly, but that’s all come from a good place. I just want to make this work for him. I want him to see that I’m worthwhile. Maybe that’s why I’m such a control freak about it. There’s been so much happening in my life that I’ve had no power over. This I need to control.

  “I’m sorry, Dad,” I mutter to the picture. “I didn’t mean to make such an epic fuck up of things. That was never my intention. I just want to make Debroils Enterprises a name that means something, you know?” I sigh loudly, knowing that I probably sound like a crazy person right now. “That’s why I’m doing everything that I can to keep it. I won’t give up. Never ever!”

  He stares lifelessly back at me from the picture frame, like a constant reminder that he’s gone. If he was here with me, I just know that he’d give me the absolute best advice that I could ever want. He would know the answer much better than me. That’s probably why he kept it small because he was wiser than me, he could always see the much bigger picture that however hard I try, I just can’t. But he isn’t here. He’s gone, and I’m in a mess of my own making. The only person that can get me out of this is me. And Grant. Good old Grant, get me out through this mess.

  Just before I make another move to go home, I pull out a bottle of Brandy that I keep stored in the locked drawer at the bottom of my desk for emergencies just like this one. There’s a small tumbler in there as well so I can only pour myself a small measure. I don’t want to ever get wild at work. That’s the last thing this company needs. Once poured, I spin in my chair to look over the city as I take a big swig of the cool, delicious liquid that warms me up as it slides down my throat.

  I can’t lose all of this, it just isn’t possible. I can’t let go of the last thing my father left for me. I know that Barry understands and I can also see that he only has my best interests at heart, but this is something I need to do. I have to keep fighting, right up until the very last moment. I’ll throw my heart and soul into it, I’ll give it all I’ve got, I’ll be willing and open to change, I’ll even stop being a stubborn control freak and I’ll listen. Whatever Grant tells me, that’s what I’ll do. I have to. For Mom, for Dad, for their legacy and for myself too.

  Chapter Four – Katy

  Nerves cascade through my system as I make my way down town to the Debroils Enterprises office for an emergency meeting with the owner there because his company is having some serious financial issues and they need a new plan. I wasn’t intending to take on any more clients until after the partner decision meeting, but since Grant asked me in front of two of the senior partners, including Doug Harrison himself, I felt like I couldn’t say no. To be honest, I don’t know if that was an intentional thing. I don’t know if he meant to throw me under the bus like that in a way to sabotage me, but here I am, doing it for him, wondering how I allowed myself to get railroaded.

  It doesn’t matter now, I tell myself firmly as I step much quicker. I just need to do a good job, that’s all that matters. Screw Grant, screw worrying, I just need to prove myself.

  Maybe I can use this as a way to make myself look even more suited to the position. After all, it isn’t me who said I didn’t have the time, it’s Grant. That won’t exactly look good, will it? I mean, I might end up pulling a lot of all nights, but again it’ll all be worth it.

  The only night I absolutely cannot back down on is Friday. I can’t be in the office then no matter what. It’ll be the absolute last straw with Robyn since she’s been planning a low key night out for my birthday ever since last year. I promised, and after the double date nightmare I cannot do it again. I just can’t. No matter what, Friday is to be kept free.

  I have to admit when I stand at the foot of the Debroils Enterprises building, I’m impressed. I’ve been to a lot of offices in my time, but this just screams ‘luxury’. What a shame that it’s all just a sham and that it’s all falling apart. I clutch my briefcase closer to me and shake my head in dismay. The best looking things are always the messiest inside.

  Right, I think with sheer determination. Get in there, make this work somehow.

  Easier said than done, I know, but I have to put my best foot forward. I step inside and head to the front desk where a bored looking receptionist with the longest nails taps away at her computer. She types so fast, even quicker than me, so I have to assume that she’s not really writing anything at all. I guess she’s one that’s just an expert at making herself look busy.

  I stand in front of her desk, waiting for her to give up the rouse and finally acknowledge me. She knows that I’m in front of her, my shadow is casting over her, this must be a power play on her part. I don’t care if she wants to play that, if that’s what makes her happy. I need the moment to get my brain in order anyway, to prepare myself for this unexpected job.

  “Yeah?” she finally drags her eyes away from the screen to ask in a tone that shows no respect whatsoever. Much as it gets my back up, I refuse to rise to the bait.

  “Oh thank you, I didn’t want to interrupt you. I’m looking for Evan Debroils.” I only remember it so well because it’s such an unusual name. “Do you know where I might find him?”

  “Top floor. Elevator’s there.” She pointes behind her then gets right back to fake typing again, effectively ending the conversation before I can get a chance to say anything else. Maybe this rudeness is something I should mention to Evan, but it seems she works for the building rather than his office.

  “Right, thank you.” I’m not going to let her rudeness affect my behavior.

  I make my way over to the elevator and wait for it to descend. Luckily because it’s late morning now, there aren’t hundreds of people jostling to get inside like I’m sure there are early on in the day. I need this alone time to steel myself. The thing is, I always have confidence when I go into meetings, that’s essential for getting people to believe in me and in Harrison and Associates, but that’s always because I’ve had time to do some solid research and I’m properly focused. It’s just lucky that after filing the paper work for Mr. Thomas that there isn’t anything I can do for him for the moment, but I still don’t feel as focused as I’d like to be.

  I need to recover from that quickly though, because it’s almost time for me to put my brave face on! I need to remember who I am, how hard I’ve worked, how I can do this.

  I step into the elevator and take some deep breaths. I slide my eyes closed to center myself, which isn’t easy because of the terrible music playing over my head. Why do people think that el
evator rides can’t just be silent? It’s beyond me! It’s a time to focus and relax. I don’t need tinny, horrible, old fashioned music getting in the way of that.

  Before I feel like I’ve had enough time, the elevator stops and the doors open wide, bringing me right into the middle of the office space. Workers scurry busily around me, completely ignoring my existence as if they’re used to people randomly bursting in during the day… which judging by the elevator positon, I suppose they are. To me, it’s strange, like nothing I’ve ever seen before.

  I tentatively step forward, wondering who the face of the company is, the person that I’m supposed to talk to right away. There’s usually a clearly indicated desk, but not here. I can’t help but wonder if it’s designed to confuse people on purpose. Suppliers, clients, visitors, they are already at a disadvantage for not understanding the structure properly.

  “Hello there, Miss,” a syrupy voice grabs my attention. “Can I help you please?”

  I twist to see an intimidatingly sexy woman smiling back at me. She’s one of those who might not be a classical beauty, but knows what she has and she works with it well. Her face is painted to the max, she has red lips that are almost intoxicating, her blonde hair falls past her shoulders in waves, and her clothes are tailored perfectly to her frame. She’s the sort of woman that I imagine men desire to work with, she’s like an office fantasy brought to life in front of me.

  I glance down at myself, seeing a crisp, slightly washed out and very tired version of myself. I know that I can look better, I just don’t ever have the time to. And to be honest, people respect lawyers who look all business rather than someone with a face full of make-up. Still right now that doesn’t make me feel any less intimidated. I’m like the nerdy girl faced with the cheerleader.

  “I, erm…” I can feel my face flame with embarrassment which is very annoying. “I’m here for a meeting with a Mr. Evan Debroils this morning. I’m the lawyer.”

  “Oh, right sure.” I almost sigh with relief that she’s expecting me. “Please come with me.”

  I follow her through the office and as we go I can feel all eyes upon me. I have no doubt that the employees of this business have no idea what’s really going on, and my presence alone is bound to cause whispers. I know why business owners do this, they don’t want to cause panic and low morale, but sometimes I’m sure the rumors are worse than the truth… although maybe not here.

  “Hold on a moment, I’ll just go and see what Evan is up to. Please take a seat.”

  I perch my butt on the edge of the chair and I wait. And I wait, and I wait a bit more. I can’t stop my eyes from darting towards the door of Mr. Debroils office and I get a strange feeling about what might be going on inside there. Normally I would know about a man’s reputation before I got involved, so I could prepare myself, but today I wasn’t given the time. I wonder how tacky it would be to do my research while I wait. Is this the sort of man who would fool around with members of staff? In my personal experience, that always leads to failure because of distraction, because of the strain that it puts on the business owner’s family, and because it’s just damn mess.

  “Right.” Finally, before I get the chance to pull out my phone. “Evan is waiting for you.”

  I search her discretely, trying to see any signs of fooling around, but there doesn’t seem to be any. Maybe I’m just cynical now and I’ve seen too much so I judge everyone whom I’ve seen in the past. Maybe what I need to do is go into things with an open mind.

  I push myself into a standing position and I try my hardest to find a more positive mind set, then I step inside the office. A luxurious room with the largest mahogany desk I’ve ever seen. The illusion of money is definitely here, but not the actual cash flow!

  “Hello there, Mr. Debroils, my name is Katy Atwater and I am your lawyer…”

  “Yes,” he interrupts rudely. “Ally just told me. Where’s Grant? I specifically asked for Grant.”

  His words sting me hard, I don’t like the way that they make me feel all inadequate inside. “I understand that,” I rasp. “But Grant is not available, so they have sent me.”

  He runs his hand through his dark mane, looking incredible stressed. “But I wanted Grant for a reason, I know that he’s capable, we have worked together before.”

  This gets my back up. I don’t want to be seen as any less capable as Grant from this man who doesn’t know me at all. Plus, I really can’t lose this contract now, it’ll absolutely kill my chances.

  “I assure you, Mr. Debroils, that I am just as capable. I have worked on just as many cases as him and I have had more success.” Pride fills my chest as I realize how true that is. “I assure you, I will work hard for you and will ensure that we reach a resolution that suits you.”

  He pauses thoughtfully for much too long, only stirring up my dislike for him. If he dares to make any derogatory comments because I’m female and I will flip. I’m just as capable, damn it! I stare at him, glancing over his piercing green eyes, his high cheekbones, his strong shoulders… I suppose he would be very good looking if he wasn’t such as ass.

  “Fine,” he finally agrees. “I don’t see that I have any choice, so yeah, let’s do this.”

  I part my lips, ready to say something else, when his cell phone blasts out. Without any consideration for me being in the room he grabs it from his pocket and he pulls it out. I can instantly tell from the way that his cheeks pale that it isn’t going to be good news, and I can’t help but wonder if it’s anything to do with the financial mess. I need all the details if I’m going to make this work. I’ve had people hide stuff from me before and it always comes out in the most embarrassing way possible.

  “I just need to take this in private,” he tells me quietly. “I’ll be right back.”

  As he goes from the room I try to assess how I feel about him, and it isn’t good. He’s arrogant, secretive, and potentially a sleaze. On top of all of that, he’s got his business into a royal mess as well. I don’t know how I’m going to make this work, but somehow, I need to do my best. My future career depends on it.

  Chapter Five – Evan

  As I end my call, I sigh loudly and I flop my head back against the wall in dismay. When Ally came to me and she told me that it was some female lawyer sent in Grant’s place, I lost it. I went mad and almost ended up ringing Harrison and Associates in temper. It’s just a good thing that Ally calmed me down and told me to just speak with the lawyer before I do anything rash. She doesn’t even know what’s going on, and she spoke wisely. I must thank her later.

  Now, I might not be keen on working with someone who isn’t Grant, but I’ll just have to get on with it. There’s nothing I can do about, the time restraints restrict me. I’ll just need to make the best of a bad situation. Apparently, she’s won more cases than Grant anyway, so maybe this will turn out to be a good thing. Who knows, I have to find out anyway, so I might as well be positive.

  I gather myself up and I make my way back to my office, preparing myself to face the music as I go, but as I make my way back through the door I’m struck by something else, something I didn’t expect. I was so busy stressing when Katy Atwater walked into my office that I didn’t notice something very important… I didn’t notice how striking beautiful she is. Sure, she tries to hide it under the pant suit that covers up far too much of her body, leaving everything to the imagination, and her natural, make up free face and her scraped back auburn hair, but I can see it. It’s there. She’s gorgeous.

  I remain where I am for a moment with the breath stripped from my body. I’m shocked because I’ve never noticed the underneath beauty in someone before, I’m always more fixated on the obvious sexiness in front of me, like with Ally. Even with past relationships, it’s always been the outer beauty that captivated me before anything else had a chance to slip into my focus.

  I don’t know what it is about Katy, but I can already tell that for some reason she’s different.

  Eventually she sense
s me behind her and she turns to face me. Katy doesn’t seem to sense the new change in my attitude towards her because she looks just as furious as before. I’ve obviously hurt her with my instant dismissal, which is fair enough. I wouldn’t like that either.

  “Who was that?” she demands, almost knocking me sideways with her icy coldness. “If that’s something to do with the case then I need to know. If that was anything to do with money…”

  “It isn’t,” I reassure her as I move to the other side of my desk to sit in front of her. “It’s personal life stuff. Nothing to do with work at all.” I don’t say nothing I want to get into, but I think the meaning is very clear. The last thing I need right now is to get stuck into personal details with Katy.

  “Right,” she drawls slowly. “Because you know that I need total honesty from you, don’t you? I cannot work with you if you don’t give me everything. The only cases that I’ve lost have been because of people lying to me. That’s why I only work with truthful people.”

  I gulp, not liking the wart and all look we’re going to have to take over this, but I know it’s what needs to be done if I want to stand a chance in hell of saving my dad’s legacy. I already told myself that I’m not going to be stubborn and that I’ll embrace this. Now I just need to keep myself on the right track by sticking to this promise. “Yes, of course.”

  “Right…” As she delves into the introductory speech, the one where she tells me what she knows about me and my issue and what she’s thinking that we should do right now. I can’t resist tuning out her words and focusing only on the movement of her lips. Partly because I don’t want to be reminded again of my short comings and partly because there’s something incredibly beautiful about the way that she moves her mouth. Especially as she’s saying such smart things.

  I lean in closer, propping myself onto my elbow, inadvertently flirting with her without even meaning to. I know I probably shouldn’t, this isn’t a woman that’s here in my office for me to fool around with, she’s here on serious business and I need her, but I can’t help myself. It doesn’t seem to matter anyway, because right at the moment where most women would already be leaning back in, getting close enough for me to kiss them if I should so want, Katy seems completely unparsed by me. It’s almost as if I’m not magnetically pulling her in at all which is very strange. I’m not used to it at all. I have to admit that for most of my life, I’ve had women falling at my feet.