When wrong feels so right

by Mia Ford

  “You will, Dad, you will,” Liam joins in while tugging his arm. “Get dressed so we can go.”

  And with that, it seems that we’re about to have our very first family day out. It isn’t a position that I ever thought I would find myself in, but that’s okay. Maybe life is about all these unexpected twists and turns that shake things up. I’m certainly not complaining!

  ***

  The movie theater is empty, aside from me, Liam, and Evan, which actually makes it a lot better. Liam sits in the seats in front of us, spreading himself across them and leaping around like a mad man whenever there’s any action on screen, and I can snuggle into Evan. Okay, so the movie might not be a romantic one, but the situation surrounding us certainly is, and I can feel myself falling deeper and deeper with every passing second.

  “Thank you for this,” Evan whispers into my ear. “This means a lot to Liam.”

  “You know, I think you assume I do these things just because I feel like I should, but that isn’t the case at all. I want to spend time doing the things Liam likes, I really enjoy myself with him.” I watch him bound through the room as he pretends to fly. I let out a little laugh as he thoroughly enjoys himself. I want to do this more often. “He’s a great kid and I have a good time with him.”

  Evan grabs my chin with his fingers and he turns me to face him. “That’s what I love about you, you know?” He brushes his lips against mine gently. “You know, ever since Victoria died I haven’t ever even thought about bringing another woman into his life. She died when he was only a baby so he doesn’t remember her, but I didn’t want someone coming in and either resenting him or trying to replace that mother figure for him which I just know would make me uncomfortable, but you haven’t done any of those things. Without even trying you have just become a friend to him, which is amazing. I didn’t even know that it was possible.”

  I’m blown away by his words, they’re much too sweet. “Oh wow,” I reply thickly. “That’s really something. I mean I haven’t tried to be anything to Liam, I guess we just click and we get on. I know it must be hard for him not having a mom, and I guess that will get worse when he gets older, but I wouldn’t ever want to be that to him. Just his friend, you know?”

  “And that is why you are so perfect.”

  As Evan kisses me again, I wonder what I did to get so lucky in life. I really do still feel that way, even now. I’m jobless, I’ve lost out on being partner, I’ve lost Grant which is something that I thought would crush me, but I’m doing incredibly well. All I had to do was take a step back from the hectic career that consumed me wholly and I’ve been given something so much better.

  I’m so glad that Evan and Liam didn’t want me to go. If they had I would be sad at home now working myself up into a state of panic about everything. I’d be freaking out about my lack of career, all my confidence about being able to start up a business of my own would be gone, and I would also be panicked about where my relationship stood… instead I’m having a calm and relaxing day, one that’s filled with promise, and I love this version of myself.

  “Hey, do you think you can get a babysitter one night?” I ask Evan in the spur of the moment. “I would love you to come and meet my friend at some point.”

  “Uh oh, will this be the Spanish Inquisition?” I laugh and nod, with Robyn he might be right about that one. “Okay, fair enough. I don’t see why not. It actually might be fun.”

  Chapter Twenty Seven – Evan

  It’s been a very long time since I’ve been inside a bar for fun. For work, yes, for business meetings and smoozing, but not just to have a good time. It actually feels a little strange, I don’t know why but I feel a bit out of place. It’s not that I thought I was missing out on a lot by not being out every single night, but now I know for sure that I haven’t been. Being at home with my boy is a much happier place, being with my family in the warmth of my life makes me much happier than this ever could.

  ‘How is everything?’ I text anxiously to Nancy. She was so keen when I asked her to babysit again, I think she assumed all my new life changes were down to her and the accident. I tried to explain that it was something I’d been planning anyway, but I’m not sure she believed me.

  ‘All fine, Liam is tucked up in bed,’ she reassures me, which makes me breathe a sigh of relief. I know that I can’t control every aspect of Liam’s life, that will only make him pull away as he gets older, but it’s still hard for me to think of him anywhere except for safe at home. He hasn’t been in a car since, but I’m going to have to let him eventually. I need to find a way to let go of my insecurities.

  ‘Great, thanks. See you soon! We won’t be late, I promise.’

  After I send that final message I tuck my phone away and refocus on the friends that Katy wanted me to meet. There’s Robyn, who from what I understand is Katy’s best friend, the woman who has always been there for her, and her boyfriend Jon. Then there are some other people, but I haven’t been given the chance to learn their names yet because they’re too busy dancing, mingling with other people, and standing at the bar. I don’t think they’re too important to Katy anyway, so I’m not bothered about them. I think she lost a lot of her friends when she dedicated something to her work, which is something I can strongly relate to, so the only people that matter are the ones who stayed.

  “You seem very good for Katy,” Robyn tells me quietly as her friend heads to the bathroom. “I’ve seen a real change in her since she met you. She’s much happier and more vibrant.”

  I nod happily, knowing what Robyn means. This Katy is nothing like the woman I first met. That Katy was confident in her work, but nothing else. The person we see now seems to understand that she’s actually an important person, which is wonderful. She needs that.

  “Well she’s changed me for the better too,” I confide in Robyn. “Before I met Katy I was always very private and closed off. I didn’t know how to open up to anyone about anything. I certainly wasn’t in the right place for a relationship… but then she came along and I just wanted to be better for her. I wanted her to see me in a way that others don’t. She cast a spell over me.”

  As Robyn smiles at me, I can see approval there. “Well good, I’m glad. Does that mean I don’t have to give you the standard warning about losing your balls if you hurt my friend?”

  “You definitely don’t.” I shake my head rapidly. “I have no intention of ever hurting her.” I pause and bite down on my bottom lip, wondering if this is something I should say. “I love her, you know?” Yes, I decide to just go for it. Katy knows how strong my feelings are, so why shouldn’t her friend? “I really do and I’ll do anything to keep her around.”

  “Good.” Robyn pats me on the back. “Well, it looks like you’ve passed the test and I haven’t even really started it yet. Usually when my friends bring around new boyfriends I have a list of questions about their past that I grill them about, and I always thought that when it was Katy I’d be even worse because she needs so much protecting… but with you I don’t think I need to. I feel like you have my friend’s best interests at heart. I feel like you really do care about her.”

  I don’t know if this means that Robyn already knows about me losing Victoria or not, but I don’t push it. I don’t want to ruin tonight by talking about all of that anyway. That’s in the past now. It isn’t something that I’ll ever forget, but I don’t want to only exist in that moment either. I want to move forward with the bright new future that I can have with Katy.

  “I do, I really do. You don’t have to worry about Katy with me. I can promise you that she’s in good hands. All I want to do is spend every single day making her happy.”

  “God, happiness, I don’t think that’s something she’s used to since she’s given so much of herself to that hell hole, so I really hope you can do it.”

  At that moment, my cell phone starts ringing in my pocket. It must be Nancy, I’m sure she’s the only person who would call me this late at night which means I need to
take the call instantly. Even knowing that Liam is safely tucked up in bed isn’t enough, my panicked brain starts concocting the most horrific images that I can barely deal with.

  “I just have to take this,” I tell Robyn regretfully. “I’ll be back in a moment.”

  I run from the bar and suck in a couple of deep, cold breaths once I get outside. It’s only when I actually look at the screen of my phone and I see that it’s Barry’s name written across it, that I begin to calm down just a little bit. Of course, it’s Barry, my accountant has no idea of time. He needs to get a life outside of work, honestly!

  “Hello, Barry,” I answer wryly. “Is everything okay?”

  As soon as he starts talking I can hear an edge to his voice which gets my back up. I don’t know what this is going to be about but I immediately start panicking. “Evan, sorry for ringing you at this time, I just thought you might like to know right away…” The pause is agonizing, it makes me want to scream. “The investor you met with on Friday is very interested in you and your new, restructured business. He wants to be a part of the company.”

  “Oh my God.” I reel as I realize what this means. I’m saved, really saved. Now, I can pay back the banks, get out of debt and have some money to move forward with… but in the right way. With Archie’s help now the company is much smaller and more stream lined. Everything is working out even better than I’d hoped. “Barry, that’s incredible news. Thank you for ringing me and letting me know. That’s just…” I rub my forehead in shock. “That’s wonderful.”

  “Yes, well you can thank your lawyer friend for that. Also, you might want to consult with her again to get all the paper work drawn up quickly. You’ll want to move fast with this one.”

  I glance towards the door of the bar, glad that I can tell her right away. Barry doesn’t know that me and Katy are involved, and he doesn’t have to. He isn’t actually someone that I see on a regular basis, we just talk a lot. He probably wouldn’t be happy about it, but I don’t care because I have everything that I’ve ever wanted and more.

  “Yes, I will speak to her about it. Thank you, Barry. Keep me updated.”

  As I hang up the phone I do a little fist bump in the air. It wasn’t that long ago that I knew the company was going to be put up for auction. I was going to lose control of the one thing that my father left for me. But now I have even more control than before… just control from a distance which suits me better. This is the next thing that I needed to get all the worries off my chest. I just know that I can make things profitable again, and I can’t wait to get started.

  I push the door of the bar open, embracing the warmth as it circles me. Now I actually want a drink, I need it to celebrate, and I’m going to buy all of Katy’s friends one too. This is a moment that I want to commit to memory, and while I might not know these people I want them all the join in with me. If only for this second.

  “Is everything alright?” Katy gushes, while grabbing onto me. As I turn to face her I see intense fear in her gaze. It seems that her brain has gone to exactly the same place as mine, which her words confirm. “Robyn said you raced out to answer the phone. It isn’t anything to do with Liam is it?”

  “No, not Liam.” I pull her close to me and kiss her. “The business actually. That was Barry, my accountant on the phone. He was just ringing to tell me that one of the investors that I met with last week is really interested, so effectively the business is saved because of you.”

  As she blushes I kiss her again. I press my lips hard into hers and allow all the love to flow from me. Her plump mouth is all wet and warm which sparks up an intense fire in my belly, but that’s one I won’t be able to satisfy for now. I’ll have to hold myself back until we get home later on.

  “There’s something else that I want to speak to you about,” I tell her quietly. This isn’t the way that I ideally wanted to have this conversation, I would much prefer to do it in a much more romantic way, but for some strange reason, this just feels right. “I want to know if you will move in with me properly? I’ve spoken to Liam about it, and we both want you to live with us properly.”

  Her eyes widen in shock. “Are you serious?”

  “Of course, I’m serious,” I chuckle. “I wouldn’t ask you otherwise, would I? And I don’t want you to think that this is just a spur of the moment thing, this is something that I’ve thought about a lot and I’ve had lots of conversations with Liam about. He really does want you around forever.”

  I can see the thoughts racing through her brain so I remain silent while she really thinks this through. It won’t make much difference, since we’re pretty much living together anyway, but this will make it official which I know makes it heavier. I’ve had a lot of time to think about it, whereas I’ve just sprung this on Katy. It makes sense that she needs a couple of moments.

  “I would love that,” she replies cautiously. “But you know that would mean moving all my stuff in too?”

  “I do get that concept!” I exclaim in mock horror. “But to be honest I’ve been to your apartment and most of it is take out cartons anyway. I think we can chuck most of it out… but move in whatever you want. I want it to be your home as well. It needs a feminine touch.”

  “Oh wow, that’s amazing.”

  “Is that a yes?” I command. “You haven’t given me a straight answer yet.”

  “Of course, it’s a yes.”

  I grab her and spin her around before dipping her downwards and kissing her hard.

  “I think we have a lot to celebrate then, let’s go and get some drinks in!”

  Chapter Twenty Eight – Katy

  As we crash through the door to Evan’s – and now mine, I suppose – home, we giggle excitedly like crazy teenagers. Maybe we’ve gone a tiny bit overboard on the bubbly tonight, but that’s because we have so much to celebrate. Things moving forward with me and Evan, the business working out, Liam getting better, it’s all just so wonderful. Of course, we’re giddy, it’d be mad if we weren’t.

  “Nancy!” Evan calls a little drunkenly through the house. “Nancy, are you there?”

  “I’m here.” The girl that I only vaguely recall seeing for maybe a second at the hospital flies out into the hallway, with her dark hair spilling behind her back. “How was your night?” She looks at us both with a bright smile. “It looks like you’ve had a lot of fun, which is awesome!”

  My shining eyes probably betray just how happy I’m feeling inside. I can hardly contain myself. I cling to Evan’s arm possessively because I never want to let him go. He’s mine now, and I love that he’s mine. I’m not trying to keep anyone away from him, I just want the world to know he belongs to me. I haven’t really ever had anyone that’s mine before and I like how it feels.

  “We had such a good night,” I declare gleefully. “Thank you so much for having Liam.”

  “Yeah, how was Liam? Did he give you any trouble getting to bed?”

  Nancy gives Liam a look. “You’re acting like I haven’t been putting him to bed forever!”

  “I know, I know, I’m sorry.” He shakes his head and rubs his eyes. “I’m just… I don’t know a little crazy at the moment. It’s like I’m obsessed with everything that he does.”

  “I know you are and that’s understandable.” Nancy’s lips purse into a tight line, I get the impression that she’s still having a lot of guilt over the car accident which clearly wasn’t her fault. I understand why she feels bad, it’s worse with Evan than anyone else, but I wish I could take that guilt from her. It isn’t fair for her to feel it. “But Liam is a good kid, you don’t have to worry so much.”

  I wander into the living room as Evan sorts out Nancy’s payment for the night and I think about actually living here for real. I mean, it won’t be much different since I haven’t left much since my time at the hospital, and over time most of my stuff has migrated over to Evan’s home, but this will be official. I won’t have anywhere to escape to if things go wrong… not that I can see that happening.
It’s just lucky that I don’t have any emotional attachment to my apartment at all, so it isn’t going to be any sort of upheaval. I’ve done a lot more living at Evan’s house anyway. I think I’d be much less inclined to ever leave here. That would hurt me, then I think I’d be upset.

  I fall onto the couch and stare up at the ceiling with a smirk playing on my lips. I feel like the cat who got the cream, and as I hear the sound of the front door closing behind Nancy, that sensation intensifies. Me and Evan have been heavily flirting all night long and it’s churned all kinds of things up in me. I just know that I’m in for a good night and this will be even better because now me and Evan love one another and we’re moving in together. It’s solid, set in stone.

  “Hey there, gorgeous.” My eyes fly open as I hear Evan’s delicious voice. “Looking good.”

  “Oh yeah?” I move up from the couch and start walking towards Evan with a sway in my hip. The burning in my loins intensifies and screams out for attention. “Well I have to say that you’re looking good too.” I reach forward and grab the sides of his jacket, yanking him towards me. “Very handsome, I’ve been waiting to get my hands on you all night long.”

  I pull him towards me and kiss him hard. My arms loop around his neck and I hold him in place as I dart my tongue between his lips. A groan rumbles in the back of my throat and bursts into his mouth which causes Evan to wrap his arms around me. With his hands on the small of my back everything burns brighter. I need him, I feel like if I don’t have him I’ll die.

  “Shall we go up to your bedroom?” I ask him quietly, but the desperation is evident.

  “Oh my God, yes. But it isn’t my bedroom. It’s our bedroom now. Don’t you forget that.”

  “Of course.” I slap my forehead in mock horror. “Sorry, that’s going to take some time getting used to. Do you want to take me to our bedroom?” The words cause a shiver to tear up and down my spine. “Yep, our bedroom. I have to admit I like that a whole lot more.”