When wrong feels so right

by Mia Ford

  Still, it hardly matters now, that I left it far behind me.

  “Daddy is just getting some stuff from the car,” Liam tells me as he grabs something to eat from the fridge. “He won’t be more than a minute.”

  “Sure, sure. How was your day…” All of a sudden, a hot pain radiates through my stomach. I clutch onto myself and bend over double. Well, as double as I can bend with a massive stomach rolled out in front of me. “Oh, my God, that hurts.” I breathe deeply, but it doesn’t help at all. If anything, it makes it worse. “That hurts so badly. It’s agony.”

  Liam doesn’t even ask me what I need, he races from the room yelling his father the whole time. This must be my daughter being born, she was due yesterday. I’ve been expecting something like this to happen all day long, but I didn’t think it would feel like this. I’ve been to all the baby classes that I can get to, and I’ve listened intently to all the lessons, but none of them could have prepared me for this. This must be my first contraction, and it’s killing me. It’s horrible. It’s the worst thing that I’ve ever experienced in my life. If this is just the first part, the easiest part, then I don’t know how I’m going to cope. How am I going to give birth when it feels like my body is already being torn apart?

  “Oh my goodness, Katy, are you okay?” Evan races to my side and he wraps his arms around me. His touch comforts me a little, but it isn’t enough today to calm me down. “Is it starting?”

  “I think so,” I gulp down some loud breaths. “I think this is my contractions starting.”

  “Do we need to go to the hospital now? Shall I call Nancy to come and watch Liam?”

  “I don’t think we can go right away… argh!” I yell as more pain tears through me, but this time I seem to recover a lot quicker. “But yes, it might be a good idea to call Nancy in just in case. She’s been on standby since yesterday, hasn’t she?”

  “Yep, yeah, sure.” Evan tugs his cell phone out of his pocket. “Okay, I’ll call Nancy. You take a seat and relax… well, relax as much as you can until it gets too much.”

  I stagger into the living room and fall onto the couch with Liam by my side. He immediately flicks the television on and switches it to something he thinks I might like to watch.

  “Shall I get you a drink or something to eat?”

  The thought of food makes me feel sick right now, but I’m not going to say that to Liam. He’s only being nice. “A drink sounds awesome,” I gasp through the pain. “Water please.”

  Once I’m alone in the room, I rub my belly and I talk to my baby girl like I have done constantly since I found out that I was pregnant – that happy little surprise that I’ve been excited about for nine long months.

  “Hey, little Delia. How are you doing in there?” Admittedly my tone isn’t as soft as it’s been for the last nine months. The sheer pain is bursting through my tone. “I can’t wait to meet you, me, your dad, and your big brother are very excited.” I rub her, hoping that I can soothe her. “Now I’m a little scared too because it’s going to be a painful journey to get you here. Don’t hurt me too much? Please?” A contraction bursts through me again. “Okay, okay, I get it. It’s going to have to hurt. It’s probably not going to be the nicest time for you either. But you’re already very loved, you know that, right? We all love you dearly, you’re being born into a very loving family.”

  Evan dives into the room with a pale, panicked and very stressed face. “Okay, that’s it. Nancy is on the way, she said that she should be here in about ten minutes, is that long enough? How are you doing? Do you need anything? What can I do for you?”

  “I’m okay at the moment, I think. I just need your hand to hold…”

  Then Liam runs in the room too, clutching onto my glass of water like it’s the holy grail. “Here, I have your drink. Is this okay? Do you need anything else?”

  “I need your hand too. I have to hold on to both of you to stop the pain.”

  As I hold onto both of these two, I know that I’m not going through this alone. The birth part is scary, but I can get through it with the support of this pair, and I know it’ll be totally worth it when Delia arrives and our awesome family expands even more. This journey is an amazing one, I love being with my husband, my son, and soon to be my daughter. I don’t ever have any doubts about where I am, I don’t wonder what it would be like if I’d taken that partner job and continued with my career dreams.

  This right now, my happy ever after, is exactly where I’m supposed to be.

  Lust to Love

  Blurb

  It’s FORBIDDEN! They know it’s a risk. But, do they have a choice?

  Child abuse from her dad brought Prudence Evans to the child help centre. But now she’s all grown up and it’s time for her to leave. But, deep inside her heart, she doesn’t want to say goodbye to the one and only man in the world she trusts.

  Logan Bankers works for the child help centre and is seen as a playboy but he prefers to keep his work and personal life separate. His strenuous job hardly gives him time for anything more than a fling. That is only until Prudence walks under his care.

  When this connection starts to develop deep feelings, they both know they would end up losing everything.

  But, it might be just worth it as long as they can have each other!

  Chapter One – Logan

  I slug back the remainder of my drink, already needing another one. I’m going to need much more booze if I’m going to wash this week off me, and I really feel like I need to. It hasn’t exactly been a great one, I’ve had a lot of harrowing stuff to deal with. I suppose that’s what I get for working in a child help center, the work is as challenging as it is rewarding, but sometimes it really gets me down. I want to remain happy and upbeat, but that isn’t always possible.

  “Hey, handsome,” a pretty red head comments while flicking her hair over her shoulder in a seductive manner. I like her immediately but she isn’t one for messing around. She’s making her intentions clear from the offset. “What’s a good-looking guy like you doing drinking alone?”

  She leans forwards to give me a glimpse of her more than ample cleavage which is enough to bring a smile to my face. This is how I like to forget, by burying myself in drink and women. It’s the only release I get from my stressful existence. The fact that this woman wants me is utterly perfect, it saves me from having to go out on the chase myself. I’m too tired for that really.

  “Oh, you know, I’m just waiting for someone suitably exciting to grab my attention.” I wave my hand up to grab the attention of the bartender. As soon as he sees me, he’s by my side in an instant, waiting for my order. “And it seems that you’re here, so what would you like to drink?”

  “Oh, I don’t know.” She perches that sexy ass of hers on the bar stool next to me and flutters her eyelashes flirtily. “A cocktail sounds great please. Whatever you recommend.”

  I don’t drink cocktails, I’m a whiskey man myself, so I don’t know what any of them taste like. However, I do know the names of the most popular ones, the ones with the most suggestive names so I go for one of them to amp up the sexual tension that’s already flowing nicely between us both. “Ooh, I don’t know, are you more of a Sex on the Beach girl, or a Slippery Nipple?”

  She giggles and squirms which makes me mentally fist bump in the air. An elation that wasn’t there before fills my chest and my extremely challenging week dissolves into nothingness. I’m so glad I can forget, even for a minute. “I think I might fancy a Slippery Nipple right now. Thank you.”

  “And I’ll have the same again.” I give the man my glass and turn to face the lady once more. Giving her a bright smile, I ask her my next question. “So, what’s your name then, beautiful?”

  “Anita,” she chuckles and shrugs in a false coy manner. “What’s yours?”

  “Liam,” I lie, just as I always do to women who I don’t intend to spend any real time with. Keeping the details vague is the safest way. “And what is it that you do for a living?
”

  “I’m a model, actually.” I can see that, she has the right figure for it. “And you?”

  “A lawyer.” There’s no way I’m going to admit to her that I work with children who’ve suffered various levels of abuse. It’s too heavy for a first meeting and it always leads to questions that I simply cannot answer. I find lawyer a good answer because it’s impressive, but too boring to ask too much about. Also, it suggests that I have much more money than I actually do.

  “Ah I see. That’s pretty awesome.” She nods slowly and purses her lips out. “That sounds really interesting. You must meet lots of fascinating people on your journey.”

  “Oh, not that many as you do. Being a model must be awesome. Tell me about it.”

  Anita drones on for a while, keenly telling me all about her escapades as a model so far – that admittedly seem to be mostly about bitchy girls competing with one another – while we drink our drinks. I nod and laugh in all the right places, showing a keen level of interest that isn’t really there. We both know what we really want to do but for a while now, we need to just talk. It’s the socially acceptable thing to do, we both know that. But soon, it’s coming. I know that…

  Eventually after two more drinks I can tell that Anita feels happier with her decision to hang out with me tonight. I’m making her laugh, I’m listening to her, we seem to have a few things in common even if they aren’t exactly real, it’s all good. So, when she hops off her stool and she holds out her hand to me, I know that finally it’s about to pay off.

  “Do you want to come… into the bathroom with me?” she whispers seductively into my ear, not fucking around. “I would invite you back to mine, but…” She leaves that sentence hanging in the air, and I don’t bother to push her on it. Maybe she has a boyfriend or a husband, or perhaps just a whole range of housemates, either way it doesn’t really matter. This is better for me anyway.

  “Yeah sounds good,” I reply eagerly. “Do you want to go first and I follow, or…”

  “No, let’s just go together.” Her cheeky grin makes me want to laugh. She’s just wonderful.

  I let Anita drag me along into the toilets at the bar. There are a couple of women in there at first, but she doesn’t seem to care. She pounces on me and kisses me hard and fast as if we’re the only two people in the world. It feels weird doing so with people watching us, but they soon freak out more and scatter, which gives me the freedom to lift Anita up until her legs are wrapped around my waist. Then we slam into a cubicle and I lock the door rapidly behind us.

  I’m rock hard now, ready for action. I don’t want to be interrupted.

  “We better be quick,” Anita hisses at me. “They might get security in here in a moment.”

  My trousers are down in a second, my boxers too. My impressive erection makes her eyes open wide with shock and appreciation, and she gasps with happiness. She peels up her skirt and slides her lacy underwear down. She picks it up and balls her panties in her fist before stuffing them into her bag. She truly is ready for me which is exactly what I freaking need.

  “Turn around,” I growl while I grip hold of myself. “Press your hands up against the stall wall.”

  She does as I ask and peers over her shoulder to watch me as I move closer to her. I barely keep my eyes fixed upon hers as I roll a condom down over me and I tease her entrance. She rolls her ass backwards, pressing herself into me, gasping and groaning as she does. She wants me bad and she isn’t afraid to show me. The fact that she’s so confident in her sexuality makes my heart slam violently against my rib cage. I lick my lips, trying to keep the salivation inside. I’m already so freaking close to the edge of desire, it’s insane. I need this more than this woman knows. This is the kind of exciting release that makes my week so much more worthwhile.

  “You are so fucking hot,” I moan as I push into her, filling her up. She feels so good wrapped around me, all tight and wet and excitable for me. “Oh fuck, Annie.”

  “Anita.” She rolls her head back and lets her hair spill down her back as pleasure grips her. She clenches which feels absolutely fucking incredible. “My name is Anita.”

  I called her by the wrong name on purpose because I need her to know this isn’t ever going to become anything more than tonight, which is probably overkill with Anita. She doesn’t seem like the sort of person who’s going to become a bunny boiler, stalker type. I just have to be sure.

  I grip onto her hair and slam into her harder, banging her hips into the bathroom stall as desire consumes me. Judging by the frantic, ragged breaths that fall out of Anita’s mouth, she really fucking likes this which only allows me to continue. I grunt and yell as the bliss gets the better of me and I explode hard and fast inside of her. It’s too fast, I know it. Anita isn’t nearly there yet, but that’s okay. I’m not going to just use her, I want her to enjoy this just as much as me.

  Once I’m finished, I yank myself off of her and I peel the condom off. She spins around to face me with a slightly disappointed look on her face, but that falls away as soon as I drop to my knees in front of her and I toss her skirt over my head. Her glistening slit is waiting for me, and since she’s already so turned on from the fucking it doesn’t take much encouragement for her knees to fall apart.

  “Oh fuck, Liam,” she gasps as my mouth finds her swollen clit. “Oh shit.”

  She lifts up a leg and presses one foot against the wall which allows me even more access to her pulsating pussy. I use the opportunity to slide a couple of fingers into her too, massaging and exploring her insides as she writhes and bucks above me, the orgasm already building.

  Eventually I hear footsteps, people are finally coming into the bathroom. These might be the people who just happen to be stumbling by or the security that me and Anita fear. Either way, we need to be so much quicker. I don’t care if I’m thrown out of here, I’ve been banned from places before, but I don’t want to get Anita in trouble just because she’s having some fun. Clearly, she needs to blow off some steam as well, she doesn’t deserve to be punished for that.

  Luckily, just before I really begin to worry, Anita’s grip on my hair becomes so tight I know what’s happening. She stifles a moan, struggling to keep all her pleasure inside as she shudders violently into my mouth. It hurts, but not in a bad way, and to be honest I’m glad. We’ve both had our fun now. Now we can both leave this bar fully sated.

  As I pull my mouth off of her, Anita gives me a cheeky wink. “I’ll leave first,” she whispers. “You come out when it’s silent. I’ll be waiting for you at the bar.”

  I know this move, I’ve used it a hundred times. She won’t be at the bar waiting for me, she’ll have moved on already, but that’s alright by me. I might head to another bar anyway, or maybe I’ll even go back to my apartment to sleep this hangover off before it becomes unbearable. I used to be able to recover from a Friday night of drinking right away the following morning, but now it takes me a couple of days. I suppose that’s just a sign of getting older. Something I can’t do anything about. I’ll have to rest all Saturday, get my chores done Sunday, then back to routine from Monday.

  “Yep, okay. See you in a bit,” I reply, not giving up the rouse. “And just for the record, that was absolutely awesome.”

  Anita squeezes my hand for just a moment and give me a happy nod. “Yes, it was. See you soon.”

  With that, the flash of red hair is gone from my life just as quickly as it came in. As she goes I feel a little bit hollow and I don’t know why. I love my life, this is what I do, I don’t know why I’d suddenly feel all strange about that.

  Urgh, I need to go home. This is just madness.

  Chapter Two – Prudence

  I hop from foot to foot feeling uncomfortable as I wait outside Mr. Banker’s office for yet another Monday morning therapist appointment. I know I should be more comfortable in this building now, it’s been my home for almost five years, but I don’t think I’ll ever feel fully at home here. It’ll never really be my family, I g
uess that’s something I’ll never have, and I’m always aware of that. I’m simply Prudence Evans, the girl that no one will ever want.

  I was brought into this strange new world of the child help center on my thirteenth birthday after my father lost his temper so badly that I ended up in the hospital. Of course, being here is better than that, I wouldn’t ever want to put myself in the firing line of danger again, but it still isn’t home.

  I haven’t had a home since my mother died when I was eight years old. She got Cancer, which of course I didn’t fully understand at the time. I just knew that she wasn’t well and she was in the hospital a lot, but it didn’t register that she was going to be gone forever. I don’t think I even really got it when my dad told me that she was going to Heaven and I wouldn’t see her again. That’s too much for any young child to drink in… but at the time I was glad that I had him. My mother might have been gone, but I wasn’t alone because I had my dad in my life. I felt like I was lucky.

  Before he started drinking, he was the best dad in the world, but I suppose the grief got too much for him. He couldn’t handle it so he turned to booze. The alcohol changed him completely, he became a shell of his former self. He could no longer parent me, or even be a human. He couldn’t keep his temper in check, and what started off as yelling quickly became physical abuse.