by J. A. Low
“You’re right. I’m sorry. I just …” I couldn’t finish as my words wouldn’t come.
Shaking my thoughts out of my head I tried to change the subject to something a little less feelings based.
“Charlotte is excited about the fashion show shoot,” I say, letting my hand brush her cheek.
“No worries at all, Evan, friends help out friends.”
Fuck, she was putting me in the ‘friends’ box. How the fuck do I keep fucking things up with his woman.
“I’m surprised you haven’t asked her to join the tour. It would be great experience taking photos of you guys backstage, plus the fans would love it. It would also look good in her portfolio.”
My eyes widen, seriously why the hell hadn’t I thought about that before. Sienna is a genius. I take her face in my hands and give her a kiss on the lips.
“Not only are you beautiful, but you’re a fucking genius. I have to find her and ask her to stay on tour with us.”
I let go of her face and push myself away from the railings. I had to find my sister.
“No, Evan, wait,” Sienna calls after me.
Ignoring her, I race back towards the restaurant where everyone is now scattered around the viewing level of the Eiffel Tower. There, in the corner, I see Blake and Charlotte chatting and laughing, their body language speaking volumes. No, no, no.
“Hey, what’s going on here,” I call out from behind them. Blake and Charlotte turn towards me in surprise.
“Evan.” Charlotte looks shocked to see me.
“Every single time, Blake, you seem to be hooking up with my employees.” I bellow, my eyes flicking between the two of them. I hear high heels clicking behind me and notice Charlotte’s eyes growing wide at whoever is behind me.
“Evan,” Sienna’s calm voice calls behind me, her hand resting on my arm.
“She’s not an employee,” Blake argues.
“Not yet, but she’s still my sister.”
I see the concern etched on my sister’s face at my words.
“Sienna came up with a brilliant idea that you should be our tour photographer.”
Charlotte’s eyes grow wide, her baby blues bouncing between us all. “Are you serious?”
“I’m sure none of the other boys would mind. It would be great having my baby sister traveling with me for the first time.”
Charlotte leaps into my arms and plants a big kiss on my cheek, before bouncing over to Sienna giving her a hug.
Blake doesn’t look too pleased; but I really didn’t care. I was putting a stop to whatever was happening between Charlotte and him. Raising my eyebrow at Blake, I gave him a smirk of victory. He didn’t look happy at all.
Sienna clutches my arm, pulling me away from them.
“I don’t like what’s going on,” I say waving my hand towards Charlotte and Blake.
“Evan, you need to stop with the big brother stuff. Charlotte’s old enough to do what she wants with whoever she wants.”
Balling my fists as my wild thoughts start running away from me, I bite back, “But what if he sleeps with her then forgets about her. I’ll kill the bastard.”
Sienna starts laughing.
“What’s so funny?” I say, frowning at her. Our conversation was taking place in an alcove away from Blake and Charlotte.
“You.”
I move towards the bench to sit and think. Sienna joins me.
“So I’m funny, huh,” I smirk, giving her shoulder a nudge.
“Watching you get all upset over Blake and Charlotte, it’s sweet.”
I raise my eyebrows at her. I’m not sure I’ve been called sweet before.
“I know what he’s like on tour, I’ve seen him in action,” I reply, balling my fists in my lap.
Sienna’s hand rests on my twitching thigh. “And that is exactly why she won’t do anything,” she tells me, giving my leg a squeeze. “Charlotte told me today when we were shopping she would never date a rock star.”
My heart sinks a little. My sister thinks I am that much of a jerk she wouldn’t want to date someone like me. I hang my head in shame. “Am I that bad?” I ask Sienna.
“Well, every time we have gone out you have had a different woman in your lap.”
I rub my head because she’s right.
“I haven’t slept with any of them, not since you.”
Sienna frowns in disbelief. “Really?”
It was the truth. I had brought them to my bedroom, had even gotten so far as getting naked with some of them but when it came to it; I just couldn’t take it further.
“Because I’ve seen women leave your room.”
“I just couldn’t go through with it,” I whisper. Sienna looks at me strangely then she starts to giggle.
“Evan, it’s okay, most men suffer from erectile dysfunction at some point in their lives. You’re just not as young as you use to be.”
What! What the fuck is she talking about?
Sienna starts to laugh, actually she begins to snort before she bursts out laughing completely. “Your face is priceless, Evan.”
I snatch her hand and place it against the thin material of my suit pants, letting her feel my hardening cock. “Does that feel like I have a problem?”
Sienna’s cheeks burn brightly under my heated touch.
Sebastien is entertaining, funny, attentive, sexy and all the things that should be utterly tempting. I must be stupid to be putting him in the friend zone. The women in the club looked like they were ready to devour him at any moment. But after a little awkwardness on his arrival we soon fell back into our old flirty friend routine and the night was spent on the dance floor having fun with our friends.
Excusing myself from the dance floor to go to the ladies, I was walking down the dark hallway when I heard arguing coming from a darkened portion of the hall.
“You fucking bastard; coming here with her then sneaking off with some other chick while she is on the dance floor. Give me a reason I shouldn’t fuck you up?”
That was Evan’s voice, he sounded pissed. What the hell is going on? Popping my head down the darkened hall, my eyes grow wide seeing Evan holding Sebastien by his shirt and yelling at him.
“Evan, stop,” I yell, walking towards them. Hearing my voice, Evan lets Sebastien go. Ignoring Evan, I walk up to Sebastien.
“Are you okay?” I ask, looking at his crumpled suit.
“Of course, everything is fine,” Sebastien replies, straightening himself up and giving me a smirk as his eyes fall on Evan.
“I just found your date in a booth with his arms around another woman while you were on the dance floor. You don’t deserve a creep like him.”
It was sweet that Evan was trying to protect me, but I’m not his to protect.
“I’m so sorry, Sebastien.”
Sebastien shrugs, gives me a kiss on the cheek and then walks away.
Good idea because I was about to go nuclear on Evan.
“How the fuck are you not pissed at him?” Evan snaps.
Taking a couple of deep breaths I try to calm myself down.
“Because, if you must know, I told him I only wanted to be friends.”
Evan stills at my words. “Why?” He asks.
“Why? Does it matter why?” I respond, balling my hands into fists as I paced around the room.
“Of course it does, tell me why?” He questions, his blue eyes staring at me.
“It doesn’t matter, nothing matters. I am sick of this Evan.” I yell, waving my hands in between us.
“What, us?”
Groaning at him, I can’t believe his naivety. I’ve had enough of this back and forth; the constant mind fucks of this non-relationship. I’m not a fucking teenager anymore, I’m a grown woman; things shouldn’t be this complicated.
“There is no ‘us’, Evan. That’s what you don’t get. We fucked a couple of times, and yeah it might have been good but that was it. Whatever was between us has run its course,” I shout, my body shaking from a
nger.
I can see the fire burning in Evan’s eyes. Before I know it, Evan has me pushed up against the wall, his chest moving up and down quickly from his heavy breathing. “I don’t like watching you with other people,” he growls into my ear.
My stomach pitches and rolls at his confession. “Well, there really is nothing you can do about it.”
Without another word, his lips capture mine in a searing kiss. All the anger I had towards him is now working into that kiss. I am so sick of this man running hot and cold when it comes to me. I bite his lip as I fight for the upper hand. The kiss is wild, angry and hot as Evan’s hands roam over my body finding my bare ass and pinching my soft cheeks.
My hands find the zipper to his suit pants and I start to unzip them. I’m not sure what is happening but we are both feverish for each other. His fingers find my wet center and plunge deep inside of me; his hot kisses making me moan. Finally releasing his cock from his pants, my hands stroke it hard and rough making him bite my lip in appreciation. Picking me up, he presses me hard into the wall. I wrap my legs around him and with one massive thrust; he enters me vigorously, making me scream as I feel him stretching me. His thrusts were desperate; we were both silent as we each took each other, never breaking our kiss until we were both coming.
Exhausted, our foreheads rest against each other’s as we slowly try to get our breathing under control. I realize I can still feel him inside of me; I still in panic. Fuck! I push him away from me letting my feet fall to the floor. I can feel his come sliding down my leg; fuck, fuck, fuck. Watching as he zips himself up, I look around frantically for something to clean myself up with. Remembering my underwear in his pocket, I dip my hand into his pocket pulling it out and wipe myself clean as quickly as I can.
Evan’s eyes are watching my movements then finally he catches on. “Fuck, Sienna, we didn’t use protection,” he announces, rubbing his hands over his head.
“Just fucking great. Like my night couldn’t get more fucked up,” I shout, throwing my dirty knickers at him, hitting him square in the chest. “Just stay the hell away from me, Evan Wyld.”
Pushing him away I run towards the restrooms. Collapsing onto the toilet, my mind is freaking out; what the fuck have I done?
Fuck Evan and his wonder dick.
Fuck Evan and his mind fucks.
Fuck men.
The tears are now running down my cheeks. It takes me some time to gather and clean myself up the best I can in a nightclub bathroom. Plucking up the courage to leave my little cubical I hope that Evan is not waiting outside for me because I have well and truly had it with him.
Popping my head out into the hallway I find it is quiet. I walk calmly back towards where the rest of my friends are, pick up my things and whisper to Vanessa that I feel sick and want to go back to the apartment. Quickly looking me over she nods saying she wants to come with me. We say goodbye to Isla and Derrick and we head out into the night.
“You want to talk about it?” Vanessa asks, as we walk towards the car.
“Not really. I just want to go home get lost in some trashy TV show and forget about tonight.”
Ness gives me a tight hug before jumping into the car. It wasn’t long until we made it home to our apartment, sayings goodnight to each other as we each drift off towards our bedrooms. After a quick shower, cleaning Evan off of me, I mentally curse myself over and over for being so stupid. Why the hell did I let this man get under my skin so much? Grabbing some supplies from the kitchen, I head back to my room and start flicking through the channels until I find something of interest; a couple of moments later there is a knock at my door. Thinking it was Vanessa, I tell her to come in.
“Sienna.” I hear him say. That voice is going to drive me mad.
“Get out,” I yell, as I jump out of my bed and head towards him.
“Sienna, please, we need to talk.”
Pushing against him, I can feel the tears threatening to fall from my eyes.
“Just leave me alone, Evan. Why the hell can’t you leave me alone?”
His arms wrap around me hugging me tight. My tears fall and I silently sob in his arms. He holds me, comforting me in silence until finally I stop crying and look up into his blue eyes.
“You need to leave now, Evan.”
He seems upset at my request.
“You need to leave me alone, please just leave me alone. I can’t do this anymore. Just let me go, okay.”
Evan looks shocked at my words. He slowly nods his agreement and makes his way to the door. “I’m sorry, Sienna.” And with that he shuts the door behind him leaving me in tears once again.
Home sweet home; I thought walking through the doors. It has been a while since I’ve been home. The ring box is burning a hole in my pocket. It was the right thing to do. Hailey deserves it after everything we have been through; I knew I hadn’t been there for her as much as I should have but the band has just taken off and we are getting more and more media exposure. We have even been asked to fill in on the festival tour at the last minute – it was our big break. But I knew Hailey wasn’t dealing well with the miscarriage, and if I was honest, neither was I.
I love Hailey, we are high school sweethearts; she’s the love of my life. But we were given a shit hand when we lost our baby. I was excited at the thought of being a dad even though I wasn’t ready to be one. While I was away she lost the baby early in the pregnancy and I couldn’t get time off to see her, so instead, like a dick, I decided to self-medicate with alcohol and drugs and went a little crazy on tour, nearly getting myself kicked out. But I’m back now to let her know that I am sorry that I wasn’t there for her over the last couple of months and that I want us to get married, to become a real family and have her travel with me on the road with the band, no more time apart.
I took the first flight out from LA to Houston as soon as the tour was finished. I wanted to surprise her when she woke up; with me on my knees asking her to be my wife. Slowly creeping through our house, making my way to the bedroom, I push open the bedroom door. My heart is racing with excitement and nervousness. It had been too long since I had seen her. Opening the door further, there she was, laying in bed. But my eyes were drawn to the second figure in the bed with her. I stepped closer, not believing my eyes, because my Hailey couldn’t possibly have someone else in bed with her. As I did, the floorboard creaked alerting them to my presence.
“Evan, fuck. What are you doing here?” Hailey screams, waking up the second person in the bed. My eyes grow wide when I realize who it is; Kevin, my best friend, the man I asked to look after her while I was away, the man I trusted.
“You fucking bastard,” I roar, launching myself at him.
***
Waking up with a start, my heart is racing. I try to work out where the hell I am this week; my body’s bathed in sweat from my nightmare. Fuck, I haven’t dreamt about Hailey in years, why the hell am I starting to now? Sienna! Fuck. I scrub my hands over my face in disbelief. The past couple days since Paris, Sienna has been avoiding me. I’ve tried texts, emails, face to face. I even sent her flowers. Everything has been ignored. I miss her. I fucked up big time in Paris. Never in my life have I forgotten protection and now there could be a chance that I’ve knocked her up, even though she told me that it would be highly unlikely because she’s on birth control. But the thought that Sienna could be pregnant is driving me crazy.
Maybe that’s why I’ve started dreaming of Hailey again; I’m worried that the same thing might happen to Sienna. It would destroy me to lose another child. I’m older, wiser now and the thought of having kids doesn’t scare the shit out of me as much as it did in my early twenties. But being a rock star isn’t the life for a kid or a wife.
***
“Hey dickhead, stop mopping, we are in fucking Amsterdam,” Finn says, grabbing me by the shoulders. “You okay?” He queries, looking at me with concern on his face. I nod that I’m okay as we walk along the hotel’s hallway towards the lifts. We’re headin
g down to the lobby where the other guys are waiting.
“Are things not so good for you and Sienna?”
My eyes look at my friend with gloom. “Yep, it’s all gone to shit.”
Giving me a knowing nod as I believe he’s getting the same treatment from Isla as I am from Sienna.
“Women, man they will drive you crazy but we wouldn’t have it any other way,” He says, a bright white smile crossing his lips. The man could be a damn Abercrombie and Finch model with his all-American football star look. Instead, he is a rock star.
“Come on, it’s boys night tonight. We are going to celebrate by hanging out in the red light district that Amsterdam is famous for,” he says excitedly, giving me a hard punch in the arm.
Sounds good, might get myself half-baked on some special cookies they have here.
***
Lounging in the darkened bar in the middle of the red light district, Derrick is not looking very impressed being surrounded by naked women all night. Currently, I had a naked brunette gyrating on me giving me a lap dance, my dick is not interested, no matter how hard she tries. Finally, the dance is over; she made me motorboat her tits as a finale, much to the delight of the boys. I raise my beer towards them plastering a fake smile on my face.
The night continues like this for the next couple of hours. I have noticed over the course of the evening that Derrick is glued to his phone with a frown permanently stuck on his face. Usually, he loves guys night, especially when he tricked Christian into partying in a gay bar where he was mobbed by a group of over enthusiastic drag queens – it was pretty funny, Christian complains he still has nightmares of that night.
“Everything alright, Derrick?” I ask, while the others are getting their lap dances.
His dark eyes are looking at me then back at his phone, and then back at me. I could see the worry written across his face.
“Fuck, is everything okay?”
Frowning, he hesitates then shows me his phone.
There was a glossy photo of Sienna’s ex with his mistress in a full page spread in some magazine smiling with their newborn baby. Fuck!
